Original subtitles

Here's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. Brand new life around the bend.

Not so long but you might awake to a brand new life. Brand new life. A brand

life around the bend.

Mother, will you stop spying on the new neighbors?

Get a look.

Wavy brown hair, broad shoulders, great buns.

Oh, not bad.

Oh, would you...

You two should be ashamed of yourselves.

Oh, damn. He's got a wife. Oh, damn. She's gorgeous.

Let me see that. Let me see that.

Oh, Maronami, eh?

Talk about neighborhood beautification, eh?

Uh -oh. Uh -oh, what? Uh -oh, wait a minute.

They're coming over.

Do you mind?

Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, and my quiche isn't even ready yet.

It is now.

Yeah, but Angela, it's going to be way too hot.

One's quiche can never be too hot.

Come on, let's go make a good impression on the neighbors.

Mona, you stay here.

Okay.

Hi!

We're the Harpers. You're new neighbors. We know. We've been watching you move

in.

I'm not actually watching you.

Yes, you were.

I don't blame you for staring. I'm kind of proud of my love muffin here.

I'm Pam.

I'm Mark.

I'm Annette.

I'm Angela, and this is my housekeeper, Tony.

Oh, role reversal. I like it.

We just want to say welcome to Oak Hills Drive.

Welcome to Oak Hills Drive.

Yeah, too bad you paid too much for the house.

That's all right. We can afford it.

Well, this smells delicious.

Well, I made it myself.

Oh, that is so special.

I even grew the herbs. Say hello, Basil.

Got one more Harper for you to meet. This is our pride and joy, Heather.

Hi.

Honey, this is Tony,

Angela, and Annette.

So, well, you must be my daughter's age. What are you, 16, 17?

12.

What do you feed her?

Oh, that's very nice. You know, you and my son Jonathan will probably be in the

same grade.

This is perfect. Heather has a classmate right next door. Isn't life wonderful?

Yes, and then you die.

Well,

thanks for the key.

Mark, isn't this something you wanted to ask?

Thanks, hon.

I wonder if it would be possible for you to trim the branches on your oak tree.

It's blocking our sun.

Well, you know, that oak tree's been there a long time. We kind of like it

way it is. And besides, you know, the branches filter the sunlight onto our

garden.

Understood, yeah.

But the shadows give Pammy the heebie -jeebies.

We'd be glad to.

Well, thanks, neighbors.

Bye -bye.

Bye -bye.

Bye.

We, meaning me, is not touching that tree. Oh, come on, Tony. There are no

neighbors in this field of goodwill. You just threw him a couple of branches.

All right, Angela.

But let me tell you something. Love muffin gives me the heebie -jeebies.

See, I thought the saw was loud.

I thought you said you were just going to cut off a few branches.

Oh, I couldn't get it even.

It's too much, isn't it?

Yeah.

Oh, you cut the tree.

Thank you for hearing us. You know, sometimes people listen and don't hear.

Excuse me? What'd you say? Oh.

Oh, he's such a kidder. Well, you must be Jonathan.

Heather, darling, meet Jonathan.

Hi.

Hi.

So, how was night one in the new house?

Every night is night one with Mark.

Oh, hi, guys.

Hunt, somebody abandoned a dilapidated old van in front of the house.

Oh, that's mine.

Oh. Well, could you park it out of sight?

Thanks.

Oh, we'd really appreciate it.

So long, Heather.

Bye.

Yeah. Bye.

How do you like these people? You give them an inch, they want a mile.

Oh, one more thing.

You know, now that the tree is trimmed, there's enough light for me to plant my

rose bushes here.

So... Oh, ma 'am, this is my herb garden. Well, actually, according to the

realtor, it's our property.

Oh, this is your property?

This is your property here? What, was Poland Hitler's property?

Tony, it actually may be the Harper's property.

What? Yeah, well, it's probably somewhere in the middle, but nobody knew

sure, so the Randalls just let us use it.

Aha!

So then, ipso facto, we have squatter's rights. You know, possession is nine

-tenths of the law.

Well, look, I don't mean to be blunt, but you can buy herbs in the market now.

Try that.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.

I can't believe these people. They come into our neighborhood and start bossing

us around.

Old as Heather.

You know, maybe we can work something out. Maybe we split the herb garden in

half. Maybe I'll split them in half. How's that?

You sure she's in my grave?

Compromise means everyone wins. This is a good life lesson for you, sweetheart.

Dudley Moore dates tall women.

Hi, is Jonathan here?

Oh, hi, you must be Heather. Come in.

I'm Sam.

I don't know how you do it. Do what? Live under the same roof.

With Jonathan.

You're kidding, right?

Uh -uh. He's got those big eyes. Don't they just make you crazy?

Jonathan!

He's all yours.

Go nuts.

Hey, let me tell you something. I am not moving my van, I am not moving my herb

garden, and I'm gluing every one of those branches back on that tree. Will

take it easy?

However we have to deal with the Harpers, we will do it calmly and

I think what she's trying to say is your mother's calling you. Okay.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Oh, Heather, here's your gun.

I'm telling you, Angela, there's only one way to handle these people. That's

stand firm. Hold your ground.

Literally.

You bought them a cake? They don't deserve a cake.

Whatever our property disputes may be, we have a problem concerning our

children. Hey, hey, Angela, let's not lose sight of the big picture here.

Children you can lock up and protect.

My little herbs are defenseless.

Tony, we've got to try to reason with these people.

We don't got to feed them.

Hi. Hi, please.

Please come in. Come in. Have a seat. Hi. It's nice of you to ask us over. Of

course, of course. Would you like some cake?

Where's the cake?

Oh, gee, I don't know. It was there just a minute ago.

Uh, some coffee.

Oh, uh, water process decaf? Oh, what else?

You know, call me sensitive, but we picked up a little tension

between us. Yes, I felt a cold prickly.

Must have hurt.

Actually, the reason that I... Please, Angela, let us finish.

Mark and I have decided to be the bigger neighbor and let you keep your herb

garden. Really?

All right. Oh, Angela, aren't we lucky to have such wonderful neighbors? Hey,

guys, hey, guys, how about some cake, eh?

Well, you know...

All this goodwill started when Heather came home and just couldn't stop talking

about your adorable little Jonathan.

Yeah, I bet you have to keep a tight rein on that one. Oh, yeah.

Actually, that's the reason that I called you... Angela, Angela, Angela,

Angela. We already got the herb garden. Now's not the time to tell them their

daughter's a bimbo.

More coffee? Tony.

As I was saying...

I believe that our children are entering those delicate, pubescent years. And

while a certain amount of experimentation is perfectly natural, I

should exercise parental supervision.

What do you mean? I think your Heather may be a tad too affectionate. Do you

have a problem with...

Public displays of affection.

Of course I do not.

Well, now that that's settled, some more water, process, decaf.

A few hours ago, I came in here and caught Heather kissing Jonathan.

Let me just say there was gum involved.

I do not approve.

Well, certainly you're not suggesting that our Heather is loose?

No, not loose. Just advanced.

Yeah, advanced. Advanced. I'm surprised she hasn't skipped a grade already.

More cream? No, thank you.

You know, perhaps the problem isn't with our Heather.

Perhaps Jonathan was just overwhelmed by a normal display of affection.

Perhaps Jonathan is a wimp. Oh, wait.

Tony, please. We can handle this calmly and rationally.

Would you please get your butts off our couch and get the hell out of our house?

And give me back my cake.

Well,

fine. If that's the kind of neighbors you want to be, make sure you get your

scrawny herbs out of our rose garden.

Oh, ho, ho. My herbs. Herbs are not scrawny. Well, your quiche was runny.

one, hon.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, hey, your coffee was caffeinated.

Good one, Tone.

We handled that quite well. Me too.

Let's burn their house down.

Okay. I'm doing it. Good.

I didn't sleep a wink all night.

The Harpers were rude the day they crossed Angela Bauer. How dare they

son? You know, Angela, I'm not sure about this, but I think I saw those

on America's Most Wanted.

What's that 800 number?

I have the answer to the neighbor

problem.

Voodoo.

Why didn't I think of that?

Well, I've got something a lot better than voodoo. I've got my lawyer working

the case. And if any piece of that property is ours, she'll have them

dirt.

What if it isn't?

Voodoo that voodoo that you do so... I'll go. I wouldn't believe what's going

up there.

Jonathan is trying on cologne.

I think you even got into your high karate, Dad.

Oh, no.

I was saving that for a special occasion.

Trust me, Dad, nothing's that special.

Well, it warms my heart to see that my grandson has inherited my smoldering

sexuality.

Smoldering, Mother? He isn't even a pilot light yet.

Uh -oh.

Guess what Ken and Barbie are doing now.

Please, tell me they're moving.

No, they're building a fence.

What?

No more Mr. Nice Guy, Angela. Get me my chainsaw.

Start with their lips.

Oh,

my God.

Oh, my God, you killed them.

Get away from my garden.

Mark, do something.

Honey. He has a tattoo.

Look,

we're upset with you and you're upset with us, but there's no reason we can't

handle this. Now, let's just talk.

Okay. We're building a fence.

You're in the way. End of talk.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

Don't do that.

You did that. And you know what?

I'm going to do this.

Oh, okay. Then I'm going to do this.

else.

And then I'm going to do this. All right, that's all.

Hi,

Jackson.

Hi.

Hey, you want to go inside and play some study?

Not now.

All right, give me back my basil. For sure.

It's pesto now.

What's going on?

I don't want you talking to him again. And I don't. want you talking to her

again. Mom, what happened to getting to know people before you decide how you

feel about them?

I feel I hate them, sweetheart.

Come along, Heather.

Come along, Jonathan.

I got two tattoos.

Hey!

You know what our parents said? We can't see each other. I know.

Forbidden love.

Just like Romeo and Juliet.

We've got a problem with our parents.

We've got to think of something.

What did Romeo and Juliet do?

Committed suicide.

Oh, keep thinking.

In the meantime, twirl.

Store -bought oregano, dehydrated basil. I'm telling you, Angel, I can't live

like this.

Hey, nice work on the herb garden.

Oh, hardy -har -har, Sam. Very funny.

What? I'm serious. It looks great.

Ooh, better than usual.

Oh, my babies are back.

Hi, honey.

The Harpers must have done this.

Look, Angela, herbs mixed with roses.

Oh, Tony, it's like a botanical metaphor to show that we can

live together in peace and harmony.

Yeah, yeah, sure.

Morning. Hi, how are you doing?

Morning, Tony.

It's beautiful.

It's really beautiful.

Yeah, that's what we thought.

Must have taken half the night.

Yeah.

Did it?

How about I know?

You mean you didn't do this?

No. You?

No. Oh, I didn't think so. Oh, well, I knew you didn't do it, pal.

Look, don't start with us, Buster. Hey, who are you calling Buster's sister? I

did it, and I can undo it. One more word and this garden's history.

Wait a minute, Angela.

Stay back.

I don't think he's bluffing.

I put a lot of work into this.

And I think it's a pretty good compromise.

After all, when you compromise, everybody wins.

Sound familiar, Mom?

Now, Heather and I like each other. A lot.

Cool it, Heather.

And if the four of you don't like each other, that's too bad.

But don't drag us into the mud with you.

And the child shall lead them.

That's some young man you've got there.

We know.

Look, welcome to the neighborhood.

Welcome to our lives.

is wonderful.

Now, if only there's something we could do about the van.

Johnny, you're cursing me.

I know.

What happened to my gum?