Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

I found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long, but you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

new life both now and then.

Okay, sports fans.

What do you say? A little hot oatmeal for breakfast?

Wouldn't that be nice?

Sam, think fast.

Good catch. Jonathan, look up. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, Jonathan. I think next time you're going to have to wear a breakfast tongue

with that. Oh, that's okay. I was thinking. I have a big decision to make.

the whisker.

I was thinking about running for treasurer of my class.

Oh, so what's to think about? Do it, man. Do it. But keep the whisker. Look

it did for Lincoln.

That'd be kind of neat. I get to keep records, do budgets, organize files.

Whoa, will the fun ever stop?

Good morning, everyone.

Oh, good morning, Angela.

Oh, Mr. Treasurer, did you decide to throw your calculator into the ring?

Well, I don't know. This could be a tough election.

Well, then you get tough. You pound the pavement, you shake hands, you kiss

babies. Angela, where's he going to find a baby in junior high school?

Susie Plimpton has one.

You stay away from her.

You and I both know that you would make a terrific treasurer.

You've got great ideas, the milk fund, the dance fund.

All right, the pension plan's a little much, but at least you're thinking.

Maybe I'll run, yeah.

Oh, I got it, I got it.

Hello. Oh, hi, Stuart.

Uh, no, no, Angela's not here.

She's, uh, she's hitchhiking.

Got it.

No, no, she's on her way to work. Yeah, she'll see you there. Okay, Stuart, bye.

Stuart. Don't tell me he's got another great idea for the margarine campaign.

This incentive program is driving me crazy.

Everybody and their mother wants to win this trip to Hawaii.

Aloha!

Let's go to work.

Time is money. Whoa, you rushing to work?

Have we entered the parallel universe?

You bet. That trip for two is mine.

For two?

Mona, did I ever tell you that you were the biggest influence in my life? That's

why you're not going with her to Hawaii.

Bye. Bye.

Bye -bye, sweetheart.

Drive safe.

Boy, Grandma, you're pretty sure you're going to win, aren't you?

There's only one thing I ever lost in my life, and that was a pleasure.

I was talking about my braces.

Come on, Angela.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Well, she hasn't had breakfast yet. She can grab a breath mint on the train.

Well,

hey, look. Hey, have some oatmeal.

Like mother, like son.

Mother, what are you doing?

Stealing your Rolodex. Why?

So I can call your contacts, land an account, go to Hawaii, meet a

marry him, and never work for you again.

Take both Rolodexes, Mother.

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. If you really want to land an

account, why don't you sit in on the meeting with Jake Ashby?

Jake Ashby?

Wow, he's a real babe.

Mother, clients are not babes. And if you're going to sit in, I expect you to

dignified and reserved.

Mr. Ashby's here. Send him in.

Jake, so nice to see you. Great to see you. You look wonderful.

What'd you do with your hair? Are you kidding?

She always has beautiful hair.

Jake. This is one of my associates, Mona Robinson. And if you don't mind, she'll

be sitting in here with us and observing.

Well, you will be learning from the master. I know. I worship the ground she

walks on.

Why don't we just roll up our sleeves and sit down?

Mona? Oh, thank you, Jake.

Now, Jake, I've devised a three -point plan to reverse the downward sales of

Mature Woman magazine.

Reverse away.

Number one.

Going to use demographic research to increase television exposure in selected

markets. That's good.

Number two, piggyback a mail -in sweepstakes promotion with a proven

Good again.

And number three, the pièce de résistance, a reduced subscription rate

retirement village in the country, followed up by extensive phone

within all of those communities.

Angela. I am impressed.

You have been doing some good work here.

Thank you. But, hey, it just doesn't work for me.

But it's been great seeing you again, and your hair really does look

Wait a minute. You didn't give me a chance. There's a lot I can do for your

magazine. Yeah, let's trash it.

Pardon me?

Jake, there's something you ought to know about the women that read your

magazine. Oh, and what's that?

They're alive.

I mean, look at these articles.

Ceramic painting, retirement homes, oh, and my personal fave, your garden, fun

or final resting place. I know, I know, Angela, I spoke out of turn. But look,

I am a member of your target audience. And I gotta tell you something, this

on this cover...

Ain't been around since the Truman administration.

I say let's just rip it apart. Create a whole new format for magnetic, exciting,

mature people.

Like me.

What do you think, Angela?

I think it's brilliant.

I'm with you.

Congratulations, Angela. You've got the account.

Was there ever any doubt?

Yeah.

Hawaii. Aloha.

Call me when you've got something to show me. Oh, and one other thing.

I want her to be my account exec.

Her? Me?

That's right.

I want that girl.

precedes essence.

What the heck does that mean?

Hey, Sam!

Hey, Sam, could you turn down that music, please?

What'd you say, Dad? I couldn't hear you!

I'm trying to do my philosophy homework down here.

Philosophy? Yeah, yeah, you know, as in, I think the stereo is blasting,

therefore I'm going to make you turn it down.

Ah, but Dad, one man's loud music is another man's... Migraine.

Turn it down.

You got it, Plato.

Oh, Plato.

Existence precedes essence.

Existence precedes essence.

Hi, Tony.

Hi, pal.

Are you busy?

No, no, that's okay. What's up?

I'm way down in the polls.

They have polls in junior high?

Well, not an official one, but today at lunch, one kid sat next to me, and 28

sat next to my opponent.

Oh, well, you know those polls.

What are you kidding? They got a margin of error of plus or minus, I don't know,

28 kids.

Face them, just not popular.

I know. Do what the big guys do. Get endorsements. You get a few influential

kids to vote for you, and the rest follow.

Maybe. I could talk to Torrey Richmond.

He's captain of the football team.

You know him?

Yeah, he beat me up twice.

Ah, the ties that bind.

And I could talk to Dwayne Barfield, the president of the humanitarian club. He

beat me up, too.

I'll give you one thing, Jonathan. People are drawn to you, huh?

You know, if you get all the kids that beat you up to vote for you, you'll win

by a landslide. Good game plan. Hey, keep smiling.

Okay.

Existence precedes essence.

Existence precedes essence.

Existence. I mean, I exist.

Are you busy, Tony?

No, no.

What's up?

It's just that I'm so... with this ad campaign.

Frustrated? Oh, does it show?

Don't worry, Mona. You're going to come up with something. Have faith.

I don't know. I got writer's block.

I got ad block.

I got sun block and I can't use it.

I should be on a beach drinking a pina colada with a big kahuna.

And you will be, Mona. You will be. But, you know, just come up with something

and finish this account. Come on.

Right.

I just wish I could find that sizzle. Mona, you are sizzle.

Hey,

do what you do best. Be outrageous. Shake things up. Yeah.

I do shake good. That's right.

Thanks.

Existence precedes essence.

Existence precedes essence? Now, what does that mean?

It means the fact that you exist at all is more important than who you are.

She took this course before.

What are you smiling at, Bauer?

So, uh, where's this fox Samantha you said you'd introduce me to?

Uh, she'll be here soon.

Why don't you sit, and I'll tell you about why I'm running for office. I want

see Samantha.

Soon, soon.

Uh, you sure she likes younger guys?

Positive. Anyway, if you want a good treasurer, when are you going to show

new Def Leppard video?

Oh, yeah, and wear the triple trunk of brownies you promised us. I'll be back

a minute. Don't. leave.

Hey, how do you have to go in? They're hungry and they're hostile.

Yeah, yeah. Well, when those power brokers can be tough. Here, extra

This will sway the chubby vault.

Thanks, Tony.

Okay, pal.

Go get him, Tiger.

I have a feeling he's going to do okay.

Oh, yeah. Of course.

Absolutely. I'm going to make more brownies.

These are great, Bauer.

Of course, a good candidate always keeps his promises.

Which brings me to my point.

If elected... Hello.

Oh, hello, Samantha.

I don't know what you're up to, but if I find out and it's not good, you'll be

eating these brownies through a straw.

Have a nice day.

Beautiful and vicious.

I like that in a woman, Bauer.

Can I give my speech now?

Forget about that, Bauer.

It's okay, Bauer. You're not as geeky as we thought.

And we'll tell everybody to vote for you. You got it. Really? Yeah.

Attention,

attention. It's the milk patrol.

Angela. Yeah. You're going to cost them votes.

And Paul said it wasn't as geeky as he thought.

Oh, there's no higher praise.

Everybody, congratulate me. I just came from Jake's office and he loved all my

new ideas about the magazine.

That's wonderful.

That's what he said. And when I showed him the new cover, he got so excited he

did a somersault. Well, Mother, let's see it. Not in this skirt.

No, I meant the cover.

Oh, okay, Tony. You said... Do what you do best, and that's what I'm doing.

All right, Maud.

Mature Woman is launching a whole new direction, both inside and out. New

advertisers, new articles, new readers. And introducing next month's cover of

the new Mature Woman magazine.

Ta -da!

Mona, that's your grandmother?

Uh, more brownies, anyone?

I think they're more interested in the cheesecake.

Tony... I was just reading the articles.

What articles?

Oh, I'm sorry. It's a reflex action.

Tony, I still don't know about this.

I mean, personally, I wouldn't have used these tactics.

Well, personally, you couldn't have used these tactics.

Boy, is it... Difficult to find a bikini in the dead of winter.

What do you think?

No problem with tan lines.

Hi. Oh, hi.

Oh, oh, oh. Just a minute. Just a minute. Just a minute.

Oh.

You got in a fight.

Yeah, yeah. Let me see. Let me see. Well, it's not too bad, but it must have

you at least four more votes.

What happened, pal?

I don't want to talk about it.

Well, sweetheart, it might help you feel better. I said I don't want to talk

about it. Okay, okay, okay. Come on, get some ice. I'm okay.

Hey, that's some shiner, slugger. Hate to see what the other guy looks like.

Okay, Bub.

So what's the story?

You're in my room, and I don't want you here.

And my name's not Bub.

Well, I'm not moving until I get the scoop on that fight.

Well, then you're going to be standing there a long time.

Well, I can take it.

Okay. You want the scoop?

You're a bimbo.

That's what the kids at school said when they heard about your picture.

Your grandma's a bimbo. Your grandma's a bimbo, Bauer.

Oh, now I see.

Bimbo?

Well, I've been called worse things.

Everything's funny to you.

Well, it's not funny to me.

A long time ago, I tried to be like other grandmothers.

But it just didn't work.

I mean, you can't make yourself be something you're not.

Do you understand?

Yeah, I understand.

All you care about is yourself.

Jonathan's still not home yet, huh?

Ego. That means he lost the election.

Oh, boy, pretty heavy on the old pessimism, aren't we? I mean, what's to

he's not out celebrating with the boys?

He lost.

Boy, what a week.

First he gets humiliated by his friends, then he has a blow -up with Mother.

What's next?

Puberty.

Hi.

Anyone for a mature woman?

Oh, you temptress, you.

Mother. You bought up all the magazines. No wonder I couldn't find any. Yes, I'm

going to send them to all my former beaus.

Let them read them and weep.

And drool.

I bet they won't be reading the articles.

Hi, everybody.

Yeah, yeah.

I won!

I told you.

And that's what turned the voters. That plus my opponent moved to Rhode Island.

Hey, hey, take it any way you can, right? Yeah, and you were worried.

Well, I decided not to let them get to me. You know what?

They didn't.

That's my buddy, huh? Hey, happy days are here again. The sky above is clear

again. So let's sing a song of cheer again. Happy days are here again.

There's a victory celebration and I wasn't invited?

Mona Robinson, congratulations.

Your grandson is now an elected official.

I knew you could do it.

Grandma?

Yes, dear?

I, uh... Uh, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't we have to go somewhere like the

kitchen? I was thinking maybe we should go to the den. Can't eavesdrop on the

den. Kitchen.

Grandma, remember when I said I wished you were a normal grandmother?

Vaguely.

Well, I didn't mean it.

And I also didn't mean it when I said that all you cared about was yourself.

Oh, oh, yes.

It's all coming back to me now.

And that I wished you moved away and never came back.

You never said that.

Well, I was thinking it.

Grandma, I'm sorry.

Do you still like me?

Jonathan, come here.

You know, I may not be a normal grandmother, and I may not be the

grandmother.

But I do have something in common with those knitters and bakers.

I love my grandchild.

Do you love me enough to take me to Hawaii?

Don't press your luck, Bob.

Look at my two little ones.

I knew I raised them right.

Isn't it great things turned out so well?

Yeah. I still got a shot at Hawaii.

The death of dogma is the birth of reality.

The death of dogma is the birth of reality.

The hell does that mean?

Are you busy?

Dogma can wait.

I was thinking about this blister.

I don't know. Should I keep it or shave it? And if I shave it, should I use the

straight edge or an electric?

And if I use an electric, should I use a rotary or... Ow!

The death of dogma is the birth of reality.