All language subtitles for whos_the_boss_s05e09_teachers_pet

There's a time for love and a time for
living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A
brand new life of time for being.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not
taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long, but you're not awake to a
brand new life.

Brand new life. A brand new life for
ground.

One,

two, three, four.

Let's go.

Pelvic thrust.

You think she's cute?

Only in that perky, incredibly healthy,
18 -year -old kind of way.

Come on, people.

Feel the burn.

If I keep working out, I'm going to look
like that, too.

Hey,

I feel the burn. Good.

Hey, look who I picked up at the mall.

I hope it's not a man.

No, it's just me, Mr. Masali.

Hi, Nathan.

Hi, Mrs. Bauer.

No, no, no, Mason, Mason, no need to
bow.

You're looking great, Mrs. Bauer. Oh,
thank you, Mason.

Do I look 18?

You're looking great, Mrs. Bauer.

So, Mason, tell me, tell me, what did my
favorite boy genius do over the

semester break?

Wait till you hear. Tell him, Mason,
tell him. Well, I had three migraine

headaches. Oh, and then last Thursday I
ate a pineapple, had an allergic

reaction, and blew up like a balloon.

I hate when that happens.

Not that. He got a part -time job in the
history department as a teaching

assistant. Way to go, mate.

Can you imagine me, a college professor?

I just hope I can handle it. Sure you
can handle it. What are you kidding me?

You're young. You're bright.

You're young.

You sure you can handle this?

Of course he can handle it.

You know, Mozart started composing by
age five, and Charlotte Bronte had

22 novels by age 13.

Boy, I'm really behind.

Wait till you hear who's in his class.

He's an older student. His goal this
semester is to be on the dean's list.

He's attractive. He's handsome. Hold it,
hold it.

Are you teaching my history of Western
civilization class?

Yeah. The handsome part gave it away.

I thought it was the older part.

Mason, this is great. Mason, I'm so
happy. You at the blackboard, me at the

desk. Nothing could please me more.

Really? No, but it never hurts to suck
up to the teach.

Hi.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

Is this the discussion group for Western
Civ 105?

Yes.

I'm a little nervous. This is my first
day.

Who cares?

Hello there, Professor.

How are you today?

Gee, I hope you're loaded with answers
because I'm loaded with questions.

You're Mr.

Peter? That's my prof.

But you're so boyishly handsome.

article you wrote on the Corinthians?

I thought it was absolutely brilliant. I
am a great admirer.

Who cares?

This is it, Tony. A teacher is born.

Hello, Mr. Chips. Good afternoon, class.

My name is Mason Peters.

Little buddy, wake up, little buddy,
wake up.

Rosebud.

Mother,

come on. Come on, do this exercise tape
with me. Come on, you'll have more

energy, you'll be more creative, and
you'll be able to work a whole lot

Get that thing away from me.

Hey, hey, hey, no, no.

I'm working out. No, no, no, no. These
are for Mason. You brought your teacher

home? Well, actually, I carried him
home.

He fainted in front of the class.

He told

them. Oh, Mason, I'm sorry. I

know we shouldn't laugh.

Mason, Mason, don't be embarrassed.

Fainting is just your body's way of
saying it's time to lie down.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just not
equipped to handle the intense, nerve

pressures of this job.

Come on, Mason, lighten up. You're
teaching a history class, not leading an

expedition down a snake river. Oh, don't
say snake, Mr. Maselli. They give me

the creeps. They're so long and
slithery. I don't know. It's probably

Hey, Siggy, come on, man, lighten up
with the neurosis stuff. We've just got

get you over your stage fright thing.
Oh, it's easy for you to say, Tony. You

have a commanding, charming presence.

Well, it's true.

But listen, you too can have a charming,
commanding presence. Listen, try this.

You're up at the podium, right? And you
look out into a sea, a sea of strange

faces. What you do is you look for one
face, that one accessible, open face

says... Teach me. Talk to me.

Call on me.

You think?

Is this an open face?

Very.

I guess I can give it a try. All right.
Now, you see? And there's a lot of other

tricks you can do, too.

Angela, you must have a tip or two.

Well, actually, only one.

It helps to visualize the audience
naked.

Naked? Yeah.

That's what I do every time I have to
give a speech. See, it's hard to be

intimidated by people when they're in
their birthday suits.

Totally naked.

Actually, I can see the psychological
validity of that technique. The men,

I can give it a shot.

Thanks, guys.

You've given me the courage to go on.

See you in class tomorrow, friend.

Bye, Mason.

Bye, Mason.

Uh, Angela, Angela.

You know, you know last month when you
gave that speech at the ad club and I

sitting in the front row?

Did you happen to use your visualization
trick?

Let's just say I could have talked all
night.

Come on, come on. Who wants to know
next? Come on, let's build up the kitty.

Come on, come on.

Hey, Tony, you want in on the fainting
pool?

The fainting pool? Yeah, we're betting
to see how long it takes before the boy

wonder hits the floor.

For three minutes, I am going to win
big.

Yeah, I hope you lose your shirt.

Good afternoon, class.

Now, can anyone tell me what country is
often considered the bedrock of Western

civilization? Bedrock? Yeah, that's
where the Flintstones lived.

Yabba -dabba -doo.

Mason,

Mason, visualize.

Thank you. Oh, all right.

I'd like to answer that.

Could you stand, please?

Would the answer be England?

Mr. Peters?

Mason. Mason.

Huh? Put our clothes back on.

The answer

is Greece.

Now, in what century did the first Greek
city -states emerge?

Tony.

700 A .D. And what was the form of
government of these city -states? Tony.

They were republics. Excellent. Now,
what was the name of a military city

-state? Tony.

Sparta.

Superb.

I love the way this class gets involved.

May I address this one, Mr. Peters?

Go right ahead, Cynthia.

Well, I believe that we are not only
indebted to the Greeks for their

contributions in philosophy, but to a
greater extent in art and architecture.

That's very true, Cynthia.

But as Mr. Mastelli so incisively
pointed out last week...

we cannot overlook the contributions the
Greeks made in terms of the physical

sciences.

In fact, what Greek philosopher first
postulated the theory of the atom?

You want to feel this one, Tony?

Not particularly.

Ah, come on, give it a shot.

Ah, well, that's a tough one.

Socrates?

Excellent! I'm right? Not even close.

It was Democritus.

But the fact that you were willing to
take a risk and answer a question about

something that happened so long ago is a
testament to your courage, dedication,

and just plain stick -to -itiveness.

This is a student.

This is a crook.

Now remember, class, your essays are due
on Thursday and they'll count for 30 %

of your grade. Have a nice day.

Hi, got a minute?

Sure, what's up?

Don't play Mr.

Innocent with me.

Pardon? I know what you two are up to.

I see the favoritism, I see the
cronyism, and I think it stinks.

And if it doesn't stop, I'm going to the
dean. Okay, Cynthia, lighten up, huh?

Lighten up.

Hold that thought.

Mason, could you come here, please?

Oh, sure, Tony. What's up?

Now, go ahead, Cynthia. You tell him
what you just told me.

Mr. Peters, I was just saying what a
wonderful teacher you are.

And what an honor it is to be in your
class.

Thank you.

Thank you for calling me over to hear
that, Tony.

What a thoughtful guy.

Mason, Mason, wait a minute. We got to
talk about this class.

Oh, it's going great, isn't it?

Well, of course it is. And it wouldn't
have taken off if it weren't for you.

there's a problem, Mason. There's a
problem.

I mean, some of the kids, they were
upset. They were upset because you keep

giving me all the attention.

It's okay, Tony.

Hang in there. You'll make friends.

That Cynthia girl seems to like you.

What are you smirking at, Curly?

Hi. How was school?

In a word, Mason.

Oh, is he still applauding your every
word? No, no. Now he's cheering. He's

jumping out of his seat. He's doing the
wave.

The little squirt is driving me nuts.

No, not you.

Oh, Mason.

Please, please. I don't even want to
hear his name.

Mason, Mason, Mason.

That guy cracks me up. I was just on the
phone with him, and he told me that you

are a natural scholar.

You must have him wrapped around your
little finger.

All right, Tony.

Easy A.

Look, I'm not going to school to get an
easy anything. I want to be judged

fairly. That is right, Mother. Some
people still believe in hard work and

traditional value.

Sure.

Tony and a gang of Quakers.

Look, Mona, what do you do when somebody
sees you as perfect?

I make them buy me things. Why did I
hear that?

I had a problem like that when Jeannie
Gordian had this major crush on me.

It can happen.

She drove me nuts, followed me
everywhere.

She was like a puppy.

So one day at lunch, I made chocolate
milk come out of my nose.

She looked at me, screamed, and ran into
a closet.

And I never heard from her again.

No.

No, I don't even think the chocolate
milk out of the nose trick is going to

with this guy.

Oh, I don't know, Dad. Mason's got a
pretty weak stomach.

Wait a minute. Maybe my grandson has an
idea here.

I mean, if you want Mason to think that
you are not brilliant, write a lousy

paper. No way, Mona. I'm not writing a
lousy paper. I just spent two weeks

writing a good paper. Oh, but Dad, a
lousy paper only takes 10, 15 minutes.

Trust me, I know.

You know, I usually don't approve of
academic hijinks, but this may be the

therapy that Mason needs. You know, a
paper full of historical inaccuracies,

misnomers, and assorted goofy stuff.

I don't do goofy.

I mean, gosh, this goes against every
ethical principle I hold dear.

Well, then, hand in your good paper, and
for the rest of the semester, live with

the curse of Mason.

10, 15 minutes?

Tom. Okay,

I'll have your essays back next class
session. And remember, guys, history is

just a thing of the past.

Welcome, sir. Welcome.

Well, Mason, how's it going?

Oh, wonderful, sir. I have a terrific
bunch of students. But this guy, this

is top.

Tony Maselli, my prize pupil.

Oh, he does go on.

Anyway, Mason, I just wanted to find out
how you were doing, see if you needed

any help, maybe look over your lesson
plans.

Are you checking up on me, sir?

Well, yes.

Well, you know, if you'd really like to
see the kind of work we're doing in this

class, why don't you just look at these
essays?

No, no, no.

I mean, I'm sure the dean is so busy
that he probably has a lot of other

that are more important to do.

Actually, the idea of a red pencil in my
hand poised to strike out at the first

anachronism excites me.

It excites me, too, sir.

You guys are going to be excited.

Hi,

Tony. You.

Hi. You.

Hi, Tony.

And you.

I think we're in trouble.

No, no, no. You're not in trouble. I'm
in trouble. I'm the one who handed in

that phony essay. You know, the one you
told me to write that was going to solve

all my problems.

Well, guess who's reading it?

Gore Vidal?

The dean.

That's terrible.

Why did you listen to us?

It's going to be all right. Don't get
carried away. There is a way out of

Oh, goody. More advice.

Tony, all you have to do is go to the
dean and ask for the paperback.

Oh, that's brilliant, Angela. That's
really brilliant. Then he's going to ask

why I wrote it. I'm going to have to
tell him about Mason. I'll get the kid

trouble. Yeah, that was a dumb idea.

Yeah, well, what kind of idea do you
have, Mona?

I think you should talk to Samantha.

Okay.

the rat for the bad paper, Dad. I know.
If you squeal on Mason, he's going to

get chewed out by the dean, fall into a
deep depression, check into a

sanitarium, and then we will never hear
from him again.

I can live with that.

Dean, may I call you Dean?

Look, I have an intellectual challenge
for you.

Let's say I, as a student, did something
incredibly stupid, but for a good

cause. Unfortunately, a cause which I
cannot explain to you. But if you knew,

you'd understand.

Okay? Okay. Now, you, as a dean, have
the power to overlook this. Not that all

deans would do that. I mean, but I have
a feeling that you're a special dean.

You know, you're a dean with a heart.
You're a daring dean.

One who would turn back the clock 24
hours and pretend that I'd never handed

this essay.

Mr. Metelli, this is all very
interesting, but I haven't read your

never mind.

However, you have piqued my curiosity.

I'll just give this a quick perusal.

Aren't there a lot of other things you'd
rather peruse? No, no, no.

Mr.

Metelli, this stinks.

I know.

Why would you write this drivel?

Dean, look, it's tough.

I don't want to tell you.

Come in.

Hi, Dean Brown.

I heard that my prize student was here
and I wanted some reflected glory.

Reflect on this.

Lifestyles of the old and Grecian?

Tony,

this... This... Stinks.

Why would you write this?

Dribble. Yeah, why, Tony?

I can't tell you now.

Tony, this isn't like you. I mean, why
would you treat this assignment like a

joke? I can't tell you right now.

Yes, you can.

Not in front of the D -E -A -N.

That's me.

Look, nothing can be said to me that
can't be said in front of the dean.

Now, I respected you as a student. The
least you can do is give me the same

respect as a teacher.

Okay, Mason, have a seat.

How could I have been so blinded by
gratitude?

I mean, Tony's not a genius.

He's not a great scholar.

He's not the most brilliant student in
the world.

Mason, they get the point.

So what did the dean say after he got
the whole story?

He accepted my resignation.

Oh, what a bummer.

Oh, that's okay. I wasn't emotionally
ready to teach.

I mean, any teacher who would show
favoritism to a student who wasn't that

smart, who wasn't a genius, who
wasn't... Mason, we already covered

I don't know. I guess I'll start
teaching again when I've grown up a

when I'm more mature, when I have a new
perspective on life.

When I'm 17.

Hey, look, Mason, before you know it,
you'll be back at the podium coughing

sneezing at the chalk dust, huh?

Hey, you, uh...

You sure you're not mad at me?

No, I'm happy the way things turned out.

You mean it?

Okay, not happy, but I'm alive, I have
my health, and I have a friend.

Although I will miss looking out into a
sea of naked bodies.

Naked bodies?

You don't want to know. Yes, I do.

No, you don't.

I'll tell you later. No, you won't.

I think that's for me. I told my study
date to meet me here.

Hi, Mace. Hi, Sid.

Bye, guys.

She's obviously using him.

Yeah, if he's lucky.

Hey, like I always say, you know, the
key to fitness is discipline.

I mean, in your exercise and in your
diet. Yeah, after all, you are what you

eat. And I am a chocolate cake.