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There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.
An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.
There were times I lost a dream or two.
Found a trail and at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.
Not so long, but you might awaken to a brand new life, brand new life, a brand
new life both round the bend.
Bases loaded, three and two count.
Mattingly's at the plate and Clemens working out of the stretch.
Here's the wind -up.
And the pitch.
That ball is going!
Going! And I wasn't even batting with a regulation load.
And the silly scores!
Well, pin a rose on your nose.
Wait a minute. Why are we in such a snit?
Mother! Time to clean the attic!
Does that answer our question?
There you are, Mother. You promised you would help us clean the attic today. I
lied.
He's dusted and dust -busted.
All right.
Angela, it's bad enough that you have worked me like a dog, but this poor,
innocent child... She's paying me three bucks an hour. I made my bed.
All right, clean freaks, let's put the rest of this stuff away and wish your
star pitcher good luck.
Let me tell you, this game today is going to be rough because the guys we're
playing... They're animals.
They're killers. They're murderers.
Who are you playing?
Debbie's frozen yogurt.
All right. Hey, everybody.
Check out my praying mantis. Wait a minute. Where'd you get this box, pal?
In the attic. Mom threw it away.
What the... Hey.
Be careful. He's eating lunch. Two spiders and a moth. Oh, no.
It's nature's way, Tony.
I'm not talking about this praying mantis. I'm talking about the bottle
that were in here. Where are they?
Beats me.
Well, didn't you see them?
Maybe they fell out in the attic somewhere.
For where somewhere, Angela? What is the big deal? It's just junk.
Junk? Junk, Angela?
Don't you ever talk about my bottle caps that way again.
I gotta find them.
The pressures of suburban softball.
Okay, guys, stay still. I'll find... What is so important, Tony? Oh, here's
Oh, good eye, Angela.
Wait a minute. No, it's a false alarm. This is a diet call of late 80s.
I'm looking for you who late 50s and one orange knee high.
Tony, I have a degree in psychology, so here's a free diagnosis.
You're a wacko.
Well, hearty ha -ha, Mona. Let me tell you something. My grandfather gave me
these caps. They're real important to me. Which grandpa was this? The one with
the hair growing out of his ears or the one with hair coming out of his nose?
Grandpa Masselli.
Oh, the ears.
Yeah, I remember when he came from Palermo.
You know, he came to take care of me because...
You know, my mom died when I was seven, and she left me and Pop all alone, and
Grandpa came to help.
There's nothing like a little boy and his grandpa.
You two must have been crazy about each other. Well, actually, I hated him at
first. You hated your grandfather?
Well, he wasn't my mother.
Boy, those...
Those first few months were tough.
Now, son. For both of us.
He was trying to get along with his grandson.
I just wanted to be left alone.
These boys got to have a new one or nothing.
Oh, thank you.
Anything in this world too good for these two.
And that includes you, too.
Hello, Ando.
How's my Anthony, huh?
Hello, Grandpa.
I don't know.
That's my good boy, huh?
I don't.
Turn off Mr. Head and come and talk to me.
Fluffy. I'm so sorry, huh?
In Italy, we have only one show.
I love Lucia.
It's no good to sit in the house all afternoon watching a talk in the dog.
Fluffy doesn't talk.
Excuse me.
And that's not where Mama kept the oatmeal.
Excuse me.
Ando. How about a special dinner, huh? Anything you want.
Even a spumoni is a domain of course, huh?
I'm not hungry.
I spent it. I spent it.
I remember how he used to listen to this radio program that played patriotic
songs. Grandpa loved anything American.
Baseball, Fourth of July, the Edsels.
He didn't have much faith in cards.
But more than anything else, he loved George M. Cohen.
Ando, who am I, huh?
My father thank you, my mother thank you, my sister thank you, and I thank
George M. Cohen.
Pretty good, huh?
Grandpa,
what are you doing? Your feet will go out.
Pick up your feet.
I don't get it.
Up, up, up.
Come on.
That's the boy, huh?
I remember when my grandpa does this to me.
Except that I had a bare feet.
Okay,
come on. Stand up and do like I do.
Come on, try one time for your grandpa, please.
All right, if you promise, one time.
Close to my heart and I hope it to fly.
Let's try.
Never say die to all the men, huh?
Let's try.
There's something about the sound those cats made against the linoleum.
Even though I didn't want to like it, I did.
A lot.
Want to do some more?
Yeah.
Imagine.
You kept those bottle caps as a precious memory of your grandfather all these
years, and I just tossed them away.
Don't blame yourself.
I mean, how were you to know they were so important to me? You know, you could
have asked.
Tony, we're going to find those bottle caps.
You really think so?
Cross my heart and hope it to fly.
Okay, come on, then. Let's keep looking. Okay, Sam, you take the stairs. I'll
take the chimney. I'll take the trunk. I'll supervise. I don't want anybody to
shirk their duty.
All right, let's see. Now, if I found the cigar box there, then I might have
thrown the bottle caps here.
You found the bottle caps. Close.
Your training bra.
Dad,
what does it say?
look like?
Yoo -hoo. Dad.
What?
What are you looking at? Oh, nothing.
It's a U .S. citizenship tag.
Yeah, yeah. It was my grandfather's. Come on. Let's look for them caps. Wait
minute. I want to see it.
Whoa.
He aced it.
Talk about a brain. He even knew who Lyndon Johnson was.
Look how he signed his name.
The same way you do.
Illegible. Tony, this is a priceless memento of your grandfather. I think we
should get it framed.
Well, I think we should drop it. Tony, it's part of your history.
Well, let's keep it like that. History.
Tony, I thought you wanted mementos of your grandfather.
Well, look, Angela, I got a game to play, okay? Let's forget about the
forget about the caps, and let's forget about this stupid test.
Hi, Angela.
Oh, hi.
Oh, sorry you lost your game.
How'd you know we lost?
Well, you came in here and you said, Hi, Angela, instead of, Yo, Angela.
Wow, you really do know me, huh?
Yes, I do.
You want to talk about things?
I guess.
First, Ronnie got thrown out at the plate.
And then Roy, he missed an easy pop fly.
And then Frank, how do you want to tell you?
What I meant.
I know.
Angela, I, uh... I did something terrible to my grandfather.
See, because of me, he never became an American citizen.
It was back in 1964, and I was 13.
I was supposed to go with Grandpa to watch him stand up and take the oath.
He was so excited.
He had his only suit cleaned, and he even treated himself to a new tie.
Boy, was it ugly.
Ah, Matteo Michelli.
Ah, Matteo Michelli.
Ah, Matteo Michelli.
Uh, Grandpa?
Oh, Andona. I'm so glad you're home. Now, we're not going to be late, eh?
Um, someone's here to see you.
I'm -a thinkin' we're gonna be late.
Good afternoon, Mr. Michelli.
Guess who's been stealin' subway signs again?
I overlook things once, twice, but three times, and we start practicing law and
order. I should bet, I should bet.
Hold on.
Did you steal the sign?
Philly Fingers made me do it.
Why? Why would he make you steal a subway sign, huh?
Because he needed a present for Mother's Day.
What's the matter with you, huh? You always cause trouble.
This is America.
Here, you can make a common thing yourself.
I know, I know.
Grandpa, I keep telling you, there's nothing I'm good at.
What are you talking about, huh? You good at baseball?
Oh, sure. The Yankees are knocking down my door.
Maybe one day they might be, huh?
Hang on.
Learn to dream.
Hey, look at me, huh?
All of my life, I want to be an American, huh?
Today, I gonna be.
But that's different.
It's easier to become a citizen than a baseball player.
Well, all right.
Maybe so, huh? Maybe so, but look at Joe DiMaggio, huh? Joe DiMaggio,
he's a Yankee, he's a famous, he's a rich.
And he's Italian.
That's right.
Look, I can't stand here all day.
I'll give you a choice.
A, we call the punk's father. Oh, hey.
Hey, oh.
I don't want to call my grandson a punk.
Excuse me. We call the young gentleman's father, and he has a talk with the
captain. That's a no -good either.
I'm going to break my son's heart.
He works so hard to support this little punk.
Okay, then.
I haul him down to the station house and lock him up. Oh.
Can I go into my son's place?
But, Grandpa, what about getting sworn in?
Ah, who's going to miss me, huh?
The widow Toscarino?
She flirts with any man who has his own teeth.
You got your suit cleaned and everything.
That's okay, huh?
Next month, there's going to be another ceremony.
Come on.
We go.
We talk.
You learn to behave.
Otherwise, I send you to my brother Vincenzo in Sicily.
A
couple
of weeks later, he was arguing the price of a bell pepper with the vegetable man
when he bought it.
Oh, I'm sorry.
The thing is, he died before the next swearing -in ceremony.
Boy, was the little Tuscarino disappointed.
Mother, I've been thinking about life.
Is this Orville Redenbacher, that generic stuff?
Generic.
Do you ever wish you could change the past?
Yes.
I would have seen Cats with the original Broadway cast.
Would you be serious? I am trying to talk about Tony.
Well, then why are you blabbing about popcorn?
Mother, what...
What would make a guy who was really down feel a whole lot better?
I
don't
think you're willing to do that, dear.
I can't. I just can't stand to see Tony in such pain.
Yeah.
Guilt stinks.
But, Angela, what is done is done.
He's just going to have to learn to live with it. No, it's unfair. It's just
unfair. I mean, here is this poor, motherless little boy who did one thing
wrong, and he's been kicking himself ever since.
In the best of all possible worlds, what would you want?
Well, I'd want Grandpa Methele to become an American citizen.
Then do it.
He's dead.
I can't believe you've never heard of posthumous naturalization.
I haven't. Me neither.
But think about it. Now, if a dead man can get a pardon, he can certainly
an American citizen.
He just won't be able to vote.
Except in Chicago.
I'm Judge Hamilton.
I believe you're supposed to rise when I come into a room.
Now you're supposed to sit.
But you're so young.
You still have to sit.
Now, let's see.
It says here in Judge Stanton's notes that, uh, Ms. Bauer requested
naturalization of a Mr.
Maselli.
I assume that's you.
No, no, this is for my grandfather.
Fine, fine.
Where is he?
Well, he's under an oak tree in Sleeping Meadows.
Dead? Yes.
Do you want me to naturalize a dead person?
Well, he passed the requisite test. Yeah, and see, he just didn't make it to
swearing -in ceremony.
Your Honor, this is called posthumous naturalization.
Who thought that one up?
She did.
Actually,
it was my mother.
Huh? I'm sorry. My docket is full with live people.
No, if you don't mind. Oh, wait a minute.
Listen, Your Honor, haven't you ever done anything you really regretted when
were a kid?
No.
Well, maybe you can understand this anyway. You see, Your Honor, a little
with a funny accent moves into your house and... and tries to be your
I mean, he makes you clean behind your ears and eat oatmeal, and he's always
nagging you to try to be somebody.
Well, the funny thing is that you end up with the cleanest ears in the
neighborhood, and you end up being somebody.
Of course, I still hate oatmeal, but that's another story.
What I'm trying to say is it was my grandfather who taught me how to dream,
I was just hoping that maybe...
I could make one of his dreams come true today.
There's no statute to cover this request.
But you're a judge. You can set precedent.
I mean, I wouldn't be surprised if they wrote this up in the law journals or
wrote you up as a case history or appointed you to the Supreme Court.
That was one too many, wasn't it?
Yeah.
But I won't hold it against you.
Are you to be the proxy, Mr. Maselli?
You mean you'll do it?
I was going to do it after his speech, but he kept going.
Would you raise your right hand and repeat after me?
Hi.
I can't read the name. It's illegible.
Mateo. Mateo Maselli.
Hi.
Mateo Maselli.
Hereby declare on oath.
I, Matteo Masselli, hereby declare on oath.
That I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United
America. That I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United
States of America.
Against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
Against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
That I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. That I will bear
faith. An allegiance to the same.
And that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or
of evasion. And that I take this obligation freely without any mental
reservation or purpose of evasion.
So help me God.
So help me God.
Amen.
Welcome to America, Mr. Maselli.
Thank you, Your Honor.
Nice country.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have this overwhelming desire to call my
grandfather.
Angela?
Yes, Tony?
I thank you.
My father thanks you. My mother thanks you. And most of all, Grandpa Maselli
thanks you.
I love this. Dad, nobody does this anymore. Oh, come on. It's a Miss
tradition. Try once for me. Please, please, please, please.
Okay, okay, if you promise just one time. Okay, great, great. I'll keep it
simple, okay? Ready?
Summer camp's great, except for all those counselors that make you do things
don't want to do.
That's why we invented Camp Nick at Night. There are no counselors, and you
whatever you want as long as it's watching.
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