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There's a time for love and a time for
living. Take a chance and face the
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An open road and a road that's hidden. A
brand new life around the bend.
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00:00:23,830 --> 00:00:28,610
There were times I lost a dream or two.
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And found a friend.
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And at the end was you.
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00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:38,650
There's a path you take and a path not
taken.
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The choice is up to you, my friend.
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It's not too long, but you're not awake
until a brand new life, a brand new
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life, a brand new life goes down the
drain.
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Okay, okay, hey. The car is all loaded
with the kids and the food. Hey, anybody
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00:01:03,860 --> 00:01:05,280
see that big loaf of French bread?
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Uh -oh.
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00:01:07,140 --> 00:01:08,140
The whole loft?
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00:01:08,340 --> 00:01:09,640
I'm carving up.
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I want her to be at my peak for the
race.
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00:01:12,580 --> 00:01:16,100
Angela, they are going to have to roll
you over the finish line.
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Yeah, yeah, come on, Angela. Come on in.
Don't take this so seriously, huh?
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There's no pressure to win.
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Although I've never lost.
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Tony,
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if you want to pick another partner, I
won't be insulted. Mona. Tony!
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No, no, I'm just kidding.
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Her name's, uh, Kate.
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How are we supposed to win this race if
I can't even pull your leg, huh? Oh, no.
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It's just, you know, you're a first
-rate athlete, and I'm just not sure
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these legs are good enough to run
alongside your legs.
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Hey, oh, oh, hey. Those legs are great.
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Thank you.
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And the gams do not fall far from the
tree.
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Yeah, all right, all right, all right.
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All right, come on. Assume the three
-legged stance. You ready?
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On your mark, get set, go.
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Come on, go. Come on, go.
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And I hope we're faster than us.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm so sorry. Angela, for the 83rd time,
it is no big deal. It is just a sprain,
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and sprains are a part of sports.
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I just never should have stopped to pull
up my sock.
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You stopped for a sock?
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00:02:30,020 --> 00:02:34,380
No, it was all bunchy. But I wouldn't
have fallen if you hadn't tried to drag
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across the finish line.
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Well, I was only ten feet away and the
Barofskis were closing in.
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You would have won, Dad, if Angela
hadn't grabbed your other legs.
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I didn't think an eagle could bend that
far back.
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Neither did I.
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Do we have to rehash this?
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All right, all right. Let's forget about
the race and the fact that we lost out
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on a great trophy.
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00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:59,320
Yeah, but look at the bright side. Just
think how happy you made the Barofskis.
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00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:03,360
Don't worry, you'll win next year. Yeah,
if you dump my mom.
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00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:10,050
Let's forget about the race. Tell you
what I'm going to do. I'm going to make
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00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:11,690
all a very nice dinner. No, Tony.
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00:03:12,130 --> 00:03:15,830
Remember, a doctor's order is supposed
to take it easy. And besides, I'd love
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make dinner.
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00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:19,350
Angela, one disaster a day is enough.
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Anyway, I would love to cook. Now, what
would you like?
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00:03:23,910 --> 00:03:24,910
Well, just make it easy.
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00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:29,550
Beans and franks. Oh, that sounds great.
I like that down -home food.
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00:03:29,890 --> 00:03:33,710
What? Are you kidding me? Beans and
franks? I don't open dinner. I cook it.
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00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:36,110
Are you kidding me? We're going to have
veal parmesan.
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00:03:36,590 --> 00:03:37,590
Thank God.
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Here comes the hobbling gourmet.
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Okay.
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00:03:46,510 --> 00:03:47,550
Okay, let's see.
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00:03:48,610 --> 00:03:49,930
Tomatoes. Need some tomatoes?
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00:04:24,170 --> 00:04:29,190
Angela, you know how independent he is.
Let him stand on his own two feet.
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No, I'm going to give him a hand.
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00:04:52,970 --> 00:04:53,970
There's no big deal.
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Losing the use of both your legs is just
a part of sports.
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00:04:59,750 --> 00:05:02,090
Well, I'm going to take care of you.
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00:05:02,690 --> 00:05:04,890
Watch out for the couch. Good save.
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00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:11,770
Please, please, please, Angela. Let me
wheel myself. I'm running out of limbs.
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Can you believe it? A hairline fracture
on one foot three hours after spraining
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the other. What are the odds? on that?
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00:05:23,450 --> 00:05:25,490
About a million to one, but I had help.
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00:05:28,830 --> 00:05:30,310
Wow, a wheelchair.
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Cool. Ooh, nice set of wheels, big boy.
Yeah, well, what do you say, Mama? Let's
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00:05:36,230 --> 00:05:37,510
go cruise the main drag, huh?
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00:05:37,810 --> 00:05:40,530
You know, I'm a pushover for a guy in a
convertible.
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00:05:41,430 --> 00:05:42,490
Or a four -door.
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00:05:42,770 --> 00:05:43,770
Or a compact.
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00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,600
curls up there and lays eggs and has
babies.
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00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,880
Jonathan, how do you think of these
things?
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00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:00,959
Wait a minute.
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00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:02,960
I think there was one in my sock from
the picnic.
86
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:07,060
Sweetheart, why don't you run along and
play with your crustaceans?
87
00:06:07,740 --> 00:06:09,560
I think I'm going to go spray for ants.
88
00:06:09,860 --> 00:06:12,960
Dad, Dad, Dad, you know, I just
remembered you're going to miss parents'
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00:06:12,960 --> 00:06:13,879
at my school.
90
00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,560
That means you won't be able to hear
what my teachers have to say about me.
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00:06:17,020 --> 00:06:17,999
Well, what do you mean?
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00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,260
Doesn't your school have a ramp?
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00:06:20,170 --> 00:06:23,030
Yeah, but the way you're going, you'd
end up in a body cast.
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00:06:24,690 --> 00:06:27,350
Besides, I could tell you exactly what
my teachers would have said.
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00:06:27,730 --> 00:06:29,810
Mr. Black, hard worker.
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00:06:30,690 --> 00:06:33,790
Mrs. Hopkins, outstanding penmanship.
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00:06:34,150 --> 00:06:37,930
And Miss Wainwright, she's a charming
child and as bright as a lightning bolt.
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00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:42,850
Well, you forgot one, you know. Mr.
Michelli, I'm going to be there if I
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00:06:42,850 --> 00:06:43,850
hire a piano mover.
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00:06:46,290 --> 00:06:47,290
Tony.
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00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:50,140
You know, you're supposed to follow the
doctor's orders and cool it for a week.
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00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,080
The only job you have is to take care of
your foot.
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00:06:54,500 --> 00:06:55,500
Feet.
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00:06:57,060 --> 00:07:00,300
I'm going to call somebody and hire them
to take care of the house and look
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00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:01,059
after you.
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00:07:01,060 --> 00:07:03,540
A stranger in my house? No dice.
107
00:07:04,260 --> 00:07:07,260
Well, then there's only one other
solution. I mean, things are a little
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00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:11,400
work, and so I'll just... Great idea.
I'll take a leave of absence. Oh, no.
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00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,440
You are not staying home with Tony. No,
I don't want to stay home with Tony. I
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00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:16,800
want a week in Atlantic City.
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00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,600
Well, that is not possible, Mother.
You're going to have to cover for me at
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00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:28,200
while I stay home and take care of Tony.
Double no dice. Hey, you already have
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00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,720
the job. Excuse me. Tony, but there's
nothing I can't handle from home. You
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00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:34,180
got to learn to let people help you with
things.
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00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,100
Well, I'm sorry, Angela, but that's not
my style.
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00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,800
I'll have you know that when I was in
high school, I had two jobs, baseball
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00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:43,000
practice, and I was dating the Benedetti
twins.
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00:07:44,660 --> 00:07:46,860
And let me tell you, they were enough by
themselves.
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00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,800
But I didn't ask for help then, and I'm
not asking for help now. So if you'll
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00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:52,440
excuse me, I'm going to go take a
shower.
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00:07:56,700 --> 00:07:59,700
Help me.
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00:08:04,380 --> 00:08:05,680
Bauer Agency, Ohio.
123
00:08:06,010 --> 00:08:07,210
Hi, Mother. How's it going?
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00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:09,530
Oh, swamped with work.
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00:08:12,810 --> 00:08:15,750
So much to do, so little time.
126
00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:18,510
So, what's up? How's Tony?
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00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,730
Tell you how Tony is.
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00:08:21,270 --> 00:08:24,830
He's nitpicky and obsessive and
impossible to please.
129
00:08:25,230 --> 00:08:26,430
Oh, you mean like you?
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00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:29,490
No, he's much worse.
131
00:08:29,710 --> 00:08:31,590
Mother, I'm just about at the end of my
tether.
132
00:08:32,010 --> 00:08:34,510
Well, Angela, you are giving up too
fast.
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00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,440
Now, what is it you always tell me at
work?
134
00:08:38,140 --> 00:08:39,419
Stop talking on the phone?
135
00:08:40,179 --> 00:08:41,500
Exactly. Gotta go.
136
00:08:48,660 --> 00:08:54,220
Tony, I've thought about it and I've
decided, you know, I
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00:08:54,220 --> 00:09:00,740
think we should just make today a day
free of conflicts and...
138
00:09:01,849 --> 00:09:08,030
Anxiety. I think that we should just
have a real fun day.
139
00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:10,330
What?
140
00:09:11,390 --> 00:09:13,150
Is something wrong?
141
00:09:13,370 --> 00:09:15,990
Is it the way I arranged the pillows?
142
00:09:16,330 --> 00:09:20,130
Oh, no, no. I like the way you did it.
The new way.
143
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:23,950
Different way, but a good way.
144
00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,330
Score one for Angela.
145
00:09:27,170 --> 00:09:31,840
Tony, why are you folding the laundry?
You've got to rest. while your bones are
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00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:35,580
mending. I'll get to it. Hey, I'm sorry.
Hey, fold away, Angela.
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00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:36,880
All right.
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00:09:36,900 --> 00:09:37,900
Okay. Woo!
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00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:41,040
You
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00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:51,120
know,
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00:09:51,220 --> 00:09:57,880
this is the first weekday that we've
ever been alone in the house together.
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00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:08,820
Kind of nice, huh?
153
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:15,160
What?
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00:10:16,100 --> 00:10:17,280
Is something wrong?
155
00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:23,020
Oh, well, you would have no way of
knowing this, but my dresser drawer goes
156
00:10:23,020 --> 00:10:24,020
this, not like that.
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00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,320
Yes?
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00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:33,080
Well, you know, the way you're folding
them, I'm only going to get five rows
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00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,660
across, and I have to get six.
160
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,880
Otherwise, the extra one scribbled down
into my sock drawer. We wouldn't want
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00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:39,880
that to happen, would we?
162
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:45,580
No. No, we wouldn't.
163
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:50,060
What we would want is some appreciation
when we are trying to help someone.
164
00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:52,460
Well, I do appreciate you, Angela.
165
00:10:52,700 --> 00:10:55,820
Well, then you would realize that
there's more than one way to do
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00:10:56,100 --> 00:10:58,240
Well, yeah, yeah, there's the right way,
and then there's your way.
167
00:11:01,180 --> 00:11:02,600
Do you know what you are?
168
00:11:02,820 --> 00:11:04,540
You are an ingrate.
169
00:11:04,940 --> 00:11:09,380
Well, excuse me for being such a burden.
I mean, hey, I didn't ask for your help
170
00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:13,540
anyway. And had you not choked in the
three -legged race, I would not be
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00:11:13,540 --> 00:11:14,640
confined to this chair today.
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00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:20,880
Well, before the telethon starts, let me
leave you to your tomatoes, your
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00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:26,140
peaches, your plastic bags, and your six
rows of underwear.
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00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:37,290
She forgot the pillows.
175
00:11:51,770 --> 00:11:53,570
Hey, who's the babe?
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00:11:54,450 --> 00:11:56,970
The babe happens to own the place.
177
00:11:57,710 --> 00:12:00,530
Wait a minute. The redhead said she
owned the place.
178
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:07,160
Mother, what are you doing? The tango.
179
00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:12,640
Mother, I mean, why is there a party
raging in my office? What if a client
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00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,360
walked in? They already have. I invited
them. It's called networking.
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00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,020
Terrific party, Angela.
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00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:20,740
Great idea.
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00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:25,560
Well, thank you, Diane. We like to whoop
it up at the Bauer agency.
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00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:32,800
I need to talk to you. Angela, you are
ruining my social life. What is it?
185
00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:36,990
Tony and I had an awful fight. I walked
out on him, and I hired a practical
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00:12:36,990 --> 00:12:38,370
nurse, but I still feel terrible.
187
00:12:38,930 --> 00:12:40,290
Angela, don't you understand?
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00:12:41,110 --> 00:12:47,050
It's hard for a take -charge guy like
Tony to depend on someone else. Now, you
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00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:48,470
go back home and help him.
190
00:12:48,730 --> 00:12:50,910
He acts as though he doesn't even need
me.
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00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:52,129
He does.
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00:12:52,130 --> 00:12:53,610
He just doesn't know it yet.
193
00:12:54,170 --> 00:12:55,790
Angela, go.
194
00:12:56,270 --> 00:13:00,910
It'll be good for you, good for him, and
great for my party.
195
00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:15,750
No. Uh -oh.
196
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:18,750
Yeah.
197
00:13:19,170 --> 00:13:20,770
Rolling, rolling, rolling.
198
00:13:21,130 --> 00:13:23,550
Keep them doggies rolling right.
199
00:13:26,290 --> 00:13:27,610
Mr. Maselli?
200
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,010
That's me.
201
00:13:29,130 --> 00:13:31,820
My name is... My name's Doreen. I'm a
practical nurse.
202
00:13:32,060 --> 00:13:35,540
Mrs. Bauer called our agency and asked
that someone be sent right over.
203
00:13:35,860 --> 00:13:39,840
Oh, well, gee, thanks for coming over,
but Mrs. Bauer made a mistake. I don't
204
00:13:39,840 --> 00:13:40,840
need any help.
205
00:13:41,980 --> 00:13:42,980
Oh, no!
206
00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:50,480
Well, wait a minute. Is it something I
said?
207
00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,820
It's my first day as a nurse, and I'm a
failure.
208
00:13:55,380 --> 00:13:56,480
Oh, wash out.
209
00:13:57,320 --> 00:13:59,260
No, no, no, don't say that. Don't say
that. Look.
210
00:13:59,710 --> 00:14:00,329
Come in.
211
00:14:00,330 --> 00:14:01,330
Okay.
212
00:14:06,390 --> 00:14:10,570
Look, I don't know what's with me today.
I'm not relating well with women, you
213
00:14:10,570 --> 00:14:12,290
know. Would you like to sit down?
214
00:14:12,910 --> 00:14:13,910
Okay.
215
00:14:14,370 --> 00:14:18,530
Yeah. So you say it's your first day?
216
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:23,290
Yeah. You see, I got into nursing
because I flunked out of beauty school.
217
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,220
Remember all the different shades and
nail polish.
218
00:14:30,840 --> 00:14:32,120
That's a lot of pressure.
219
00:14:35,800 --> 00:14:39,240
Well, hey, don't you worry about a thing
because we're going to launch your
220
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,760
career with a bang, all right? Hey, go
ahead.
221
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000
I'm all yours.
222
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,480
Nurse your brains out.
223
00:14:45,660 --> 00:14:49,340
You really mean it? Sure. I'll tell you
what you do. Why don't you start by
224
00:14:49,340 --> 00:14:50,600
folding up this laundry?
225
00:14:50,900 --> 00:14:51,900
Okay. Okay.
226
00:15:26,760 --> 00:15:27,980
Oh, sorry about the dishwasher.
227
00:15:28,520 --> 00:15:30,680
No, don't worry about it, Doreen. We'll
get a new one.
228
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:35,620
Okay, so what should I work on next?
229
00:15:35,900 --> 00:15:38,160
Um, how about sitting, huh?
230
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,380
Come on, you could use a rest. We both
could. Yeah.
231
00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,120
Yeah. How's this?
232
00:15:43,480 --> 00:15:44,480
You're a natural.
233
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,620
I'll tell you what, I'll be right back,
okay?
234
00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:51,260
Okay. All right, now, you stay where you
are. I will. Okay.
235
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:54,200
Stay. Okay.
236
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:57,150
I can't believe this.
237
00:15:59,750 --> 00:16:01,190
Oh, Angela.
238
00:16:01,910 --> 00:16:03,590
Angela, I'm so happy to see you.
239
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You are? Hey, listen. I am sorry. I am
so picky about produce.
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And I'm sorry I'm such an underachiever
in underwear.
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You know, Tony, I'm sorry. I didn't
realize it was going to be this hard for
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you. Tony, I'm done sitting and ready to
take care of you.
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Oh, hello.
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You must be the practical nurse.
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That's me, Doreen.
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I do it all.
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I can imagine.
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00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:30,980
No, you can't.
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00:16:31,820 --> 00:16:32,820
Oh,
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I want to thank you so much for hiring
me.
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Tony is an absolute doll to work for.
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An absolute doll, yes. That's our Tony.
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Why are the pillows this way?
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Oh, well, I knocked them over before,
and then I just put them back that way.
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00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,380
Why? Is it wrong? Oh, no. Hey, Doreen,
what are you worried about? Just pillows
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doesn't make any difference.
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It doesn't.
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Mr. Laidback.
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00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,880
Yeah, he's a regular pericomo.
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Oh, Mrs.
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00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:10,460
Bauer, I would like to explain to you
about the dishwasher.
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00:17:10,859 --> 00:17:12,000
Oh, no, no, no, Doreen, please.
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Allow me to explain about the
dishwasher.
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Why don't you go back in the kitchen?
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I can do.
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Okay.
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Oh, Tony.
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Don't forget, 5 o 'clock, sponge bath.
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Looking forward to it.
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Angela, help me. Help me. See, you have
all the help you need with her.
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No, but I don't want her. I want you.
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00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:37,800
Well, I mean, I want you to help me.
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00:17:39,540 --> 00:17:40,319
You do?
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00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:43,440
Yes, Angela, you have no idea what it's
been like around here. This girl's not a
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nurse. She's a walk -in disaster area.
She breaks dishes.
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She breaks dishwashers.
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00:17:47,740 --> 00:17:50,080
At 5 o 'clock, I'm going to end up
getting a lethal sponge bath.
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I think it's terrific, Doreen.
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00:17:57,660 --> 00:18:02,580
No, I'm really happy for you. I think
it's a wonderful career choice.
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Good luck in dental school.
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00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:08,940
Okay, okay.
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Goodbye.
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00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:15,640
Wait a minute. I shouldn't worry. By the
time she makes it to dental school, I
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00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:16,640
won't have any teeth.
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00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,400
I have a surprise for you. I went to the
market again this morning.
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00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,480
Peaches? Feel?
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00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,160
Ooh, Angela.
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00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,120
Fuzzy but firm.
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00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:35,600
Tomatoes? Oh, vine ripened. I'm getting
misty here.
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00:18:36,380 --> 00:18:41,160
And they all came in a... Plastic bag!
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00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:44,880
Hey, Angela, you're one hell of a
shopper. Hi!
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00:18:45,860 --> 00:18:48,220
Well, I... I studied under the master.
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00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:54,060
And now, here's your sandwich.
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00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,880
Well,
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00:18:57,680 --> 00:19:00,960
do you mind if we take this back into
the living room? I have something to
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00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:03,760
you. No, of course not. Would you do the
honors?
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00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:05,640
I'd be delighted.
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00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:07,140
Thank you.
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00:19:31,150 --> 00:19:32,150
The pillow's my way.
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00:19:32,450 --> 00:19:35,790
Well, the hell, Angela. How in this
place could you use a little change,
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00:19:36,570 --> 00:19:37,950
And now, may I?
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00:19:38,610 --> 00:19:39,610
Please.
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00:19:50,350 --> 00:19:52,210
This is delicious.
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00:19:53,750 --> 00:19:55,970
You, you mean it? Oh, yeah, yeah.
305
00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:57,470
It's perfection.
306
00:19:57,510 --> 00:20:01,670
I mean... The way you blended the tuna
and the mayo, smooth but not gloppy.
307
00:20:02,450 --> 00:20:06,590
And those little, those little, oh yeah,
those little chunks of onion and
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00:20:06,590 --> 00:20:08,970
celery, the size of BB pellets.
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00:20:10,050 --> 00:20:12,150
This is not a sandwich, it's a work of
art.
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00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:13,970
You want me to sign it?
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00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:29,460
What if he hits a vein?
312
00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,380
What if it starts gushing?
313
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,740
What if it squirts all over?
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00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:39,240
What if I blindfold you and put you on
the subway?
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00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:47,560
And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give
you the new, improved Tony Maselli with
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00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:48,620
extended warranty.
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00:20:49,340 --> 00:20:50,340
It's a miracle.
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00:20:59,310 --> 00:21:00,310
Suckers.
23824
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