Original subtitles

Welcome to your fantasy.

It's like stepping into the Amazon rainforest.

Mr. Gates has spared no expense to make our theme rooms as realistic as

possible.

May I help you with... No, thank you.

I can take care of that.

You can go.

Thank you, Miss Lee.

I hope your stay is a memorable one.

Why wouldn't it be?

I don't know. I just thought that...

That's the boss. Gotta run.

Wait! No!

Stay away!

Get the jungle in there.

An oath won is an oath answered.

An oath of vengeance for a life taken.

A path destroyed.

A future threatened.

Enemy of darkness.

His battle eternal.

He walks the earth relentless.

His mission.

To hunt the messages of evil and drive them back to hell.

Now, the light of the earth depends on the immortal.

Go back to hell, you brain -sucking scum.

Goodwin, I'm trying to work here.

Oh, go ahead and work. You're not bothering me at all.

Goodwin, if I mess up just one of these references for this Treatise on Temporal

Ambient Ship Phenomenon, there will be hell to pay. Temporal Ambient Ship

Phenomenon? Sounds like a techno band.

Technoband, it's my work.

Yeah, well, this may not look like work to you, but it's what I do.

Zombie death zone.

Since when do you kill zombies, or anything else for that matter? Except on

video games.

I got you now.

Enough, Goodwin!

That was violent and uncalled for.

What is this, anyways?

Philosophical perspectives on scientific properties.

It packs a bit of a punch, doesn't it?

Have you been gaining weight lately?

I mean, you're looking hot. I'm just curious.

Oh, that is it.

I've had enough of you.

Take it easy.

What did I do?

What did you do? Look at this place, Goodwin. It's a virtual garbage dump.

Well, you started it. You blew my score, and I was going for my personal best.

Oh, grow up.

I'll have you know these games keep my senses finely tuned, and my motor skills

razor sharp.

A claustrophobia demon strikes again.

For Pete's sake.

Guns don't kill zombies. Idiots kill zombies.

Exactly. You're taking her side. No, I'm not taking her side again.

It's the both of you.

Well, sharing a traveling solitary confinement cell with a 400 -year -old

hormone -crazed junk food junkie tends to bring out my bad side.

Look at this place. No one cleans up around here but me.

There she goes, overreacting.

Look around, kid.

I mean, she's got a point.

No, she doesn't. And don't call me kid.

I'm getting out of here before I lose my mind.

Bye -bye.

Arr, he blows.

I'm sorry, ma 'am. We have no normal rules. As you can see, all of our

accommodation is theme -oriented.

Well, what's the most normal steam room you have available?

It's probably the best thing for her. Right, a night on her own, nice hot

bath. Right, she'll be rested, relaxed, and good as new by morning. That's

right. Excuse me, would either of you generous souls possibly have a few spare

coins for the sincere purpose of purchasing a cup of coffee or a humble,

nourishing meal?

More like a liquid meal.

Got five bucks.

No, I just have 20s. That's good.

Oh, come on.

There you go, sir. Get yourself a hot meal, my friend.

Thank you, Kaiser.

Oh, take it easy now.

I shall not forget your magnanimous charity.

Okay.

I can't believe you did that. Oh, come on. It feels so good to give.

It's my money.

Makes me feel even better.

You could explore one of your most secret fantasies.

Be with you in a moment, gentlemen.

I don't care.

Anything. Let me have a look here.

Now, what would suit a woman like you?

You got something in a Spanish Inquisition?

I was kidding.

You know, I see more than a little of the Wild West in you.

Sure, whatever.

Just the key, please.

Wild West.

Sign here, please.

May I show you to your room, Dr. Beckman?

I can find it on my own. Thanks.

Wild West. I can enjoy it.

Come on, Rafe, live a little. It'll be fun.

We have the bus.

But they have cable. 20 -boy channel, huh?

Besides, I haven't slept in a bed in, like, a month.

I'm out of here.

Now, sir, hello, sir. Would you like a room?

Well, I sort of have one.

Sort of.

Whoa, wait, hold on a second.

You won't believe this.

You are pizza number 1 ,000.

Me?

You're kidding. I never kid.

And for being the 1 ,000th customer, you get one free night's accommodation at

Gates Fantasy Motel.

I have to get back to the bus. I'm sorry.

So, that other guy tells you what to do and when to do it, right?

No, I'm my own boss, buddy.

Have a look.

Egyptian Safari.

Amazon Adventure.

Go ahead, kid.

Please, choose a room.

Any room.

You got another Wild West room?

That feels better.

Well, lookie here.

Now this is cool.

Get along, little doggie.

Rafe doesn't know what he's missing.

Well, well.

I must say, you look divine, Miss Kitty.

I don't trust that.

What was it?

Good one?

Good win?

Yippee -ki -yay.

Brimstone.

I figure so.

Immortal.

Hey! Whoa!

Friggin' relax, Immortal!

My bark is far friggin' worse than my bite, all right?

Well, I hate devil dogs.

So what are you?

Man -dog or dog -man?

That is of no friggin' concern to you.

However, your presence here is of great friggin' interest to me.

What is this godforsaken place?

What is this godforsaken place?

Whoa, hey!

Start talking.

I'll kiss your mongrel butt goodbye.

All right, take it easy there, Shogun. Look, I'm of much more use to you alive

than dead.

We'll see.

Where are my friends?

You'll find them soon enough.

In body, but not quite in spirit.

What is this place?

Well, if I tell you, then what the hell's in it for me?

Talk, or you'll be barking soprano.

It's like a theme park for demons.

A little recreational facility that the big guy cooked up for some of his

minions. But the real kicker is... Human?

Out of friggin' entertainment!

What do you mean, entertainment?

You'll see.

And if you want to get your friggin' friends back, you better play along now.

Cowboy.

Play along.

Sorry. Time's up. And I'm starving.

Gotta run.

Come on, boys. Drink up. Drink up.

This ain't no prayer meeting, fellas.

If I were to look for that hand, you could use a little divine help right

Sampling of the merchandise there, Clark.

Getting significantly impoverished in here, Miss Kitty.

Are you saying you want another drink there, Charlie?

I'm surprised you can sit straight, let alone play that thing.

On the contrary.

It is libations which fuel the melodious fumes.

You are a lust early, but you're also a sweet poet.

If you were 10 years younger, maybe 20.

Bless you, sweet lady.

To your continued good health and prosperity.

Look at this mess.

No one cleans up around here but me.

You can do better than this, can't you?

Heck, I can do better than this.

You want better, do you, Sheriff?

Huh? You want better?

That's the second sheriff this week.

You ought not to go sneaking up on a body like that.

Demon cowboys.

They all wear black hats.

Just the gang.

Now, forgive me. Mitchell.

Mayor Mitchell.

You can call me Rafe.

You're not from these parts, are you, Mr. Rafe? No.

As soon as I found my friends, we're out of here.

I'm looking for a woman.

Ain't we all?

Seems like I'm always looking for her.

I suggest you try the saloon.

Well, if you'll excuse me, we're expecting some arrivals soon, and with

luck, one of them will show a little metal.

Show a little metal.

How about some hand -forged steel?

My, my, you are one big boy. Your mama must have bent you real good.

Not good.

Sarah?

Come on, little Billy.

Let's go on up. Stare. Just you and me.

Not so fast, though.

I

know

what you're thinking.

But you have to ask yourself the question.

Who are you?

You can call me Sir, as in...

I'll be leaving now, sir.

Oh, Liz.

Most guys around here just take a number.

No. No, my name's Kitty.

But you can call me anything you want.

Let me buy you a drink, stranger.

Okay, look, I gotta get you out of here, Sarah.

Sarah, I'm from... I like that name. Be an old flame. No, no. She's just a

friend of mine.

Kitty.

That's my boss.

I gotta go.

That was very impressive.

You deserve a drink.

And perhaps you could spare a few coins with which I can join you.

I know you.

No meetings otherwise, sir.

Though perhaps over a drink or two we could...

You miserable... Excuse me.

Didn't your mommy ever tell you to quit while you were ahead?

Hang on there,

partner.

You wouldn't want to join our gang, would you?

No. But how'd you like a one -way ticket to hell?

I'll be back, immortal.

Good. Bring your friend.

Hit me.

You saved my life.

No. In all my days, I ain't never seen nothing like that.

Never. He was protecting my honor.

Yeah, right.

As mayor of the people of Grimstone, I hereby elect you new town sheriff.

No, no, really. Let's hear it for Sheriff Rafe!

Oh,

all

right.

The name's Rafe Kane. Kane with a C.

The sheriff!

Congratulations, Sheriff Kane.

This is your lucky day.

You get to die by the guns of Billy the Kid.

Well, what do you say, Sheriff Kane?

You ready to meet your maker today?

Listen, good one.

Name's William Bonney.

Some folks call me the Kid, but I suggest you don't.

Oh, I wouldn't think of it.

Billy? The kid?

That's right, darling. When I'm finished over here, I'll spend some time with

you. Listen, Mr., uh, Bonnie.

Mr., I like that little respect.

I've earned it.

Look, I don't want a situation with you. You know what I'm saying?

Why don't we just mosey on over to the saloon and I can buy you a drink, huh?

What do you say?

Oh, no, Sheriff, I don't drink.

Daddy's supposed to be for him.

He drinks for the both of you.

What? No.

Well, at least not before killing, anyhow.

Say, um, Billy?

I'm a hazard.

You're as good a lover as you're a killer.

Is that so?

Mm -hmm.

Well, seems my reputation exceeds me.

You mean my reputation precedes me.

What?

Well, you said my reputation exceeds me. You meant to say my reputation precedes

me. Now, I know what I said. Yeah, but proper English would be precedes me.

Sarah.

That'll be time for you later.

Why later?

No!

That was really dumb.

I know.

Sorry.

Stay here.

That's an order.

Now, why don't I like the tone of that?

Get out here and fight like a man, Sheriff.

Hey, kid.

Get my gun.

I'm behind a skirt to save your skin, Sheriff.

What'd you say?

I said, hiding behind a skin to save your... You know what I said.

You wouldn't shoot an unarmed man now, would you?

Yeah, I would.

Well, that's no way to make a rep.

Come on, you gotta fight equal contenders.

You know, keep moving up in status.

Hire yourself a promoter.

Now, that sounds complicated.

Well, it is. But that's the only way you're gonna get good gunfights.

A warrior needs to know three things.

His weapon, his opponent, and his own heart.

First, you understand the light and dark sides of your weapon.

Is it to be heavy, deliver a single mortal glow, or light enough to conserve

your energy in a prolonged...

Do you want to hide its lethal nature from your enemy or strike terror in its

heart at first sight?

The secret is to use the wood, not become focused on devouring it.

And watch your back. By understanding your area of work, you understand the

warrior.

I heard Jesse James is a real pushover.

Of course, you may have to toss a few in the beginning. You'll lose a few fights

to build up the suspense.

Not me, Sheriff.

Second place in the gunfight's a coffin.

Just listen to me, kid.

I'll take you all the way to the top.

Just give me the gun.

Well, I'll give you one and anyone.

Hey!

Don't resist.

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

Stop resisting, Goodwin. It'll hurt a lot less.

What in tarnation is a Goodwin?

My name's Billy the Kid.

These bars ain't gonna hold, Sheriff.

Don't figure that cell's gonna hold the kid for long.

The ones you tell on the wall gang shows.

They're pure no good and evil.

Tear this place apart board by board.

And you too.

You listen to the mayor.

His gang's not who I'm concerned with.

So tell me.

What's the story with this brimstone?

Brimstone.

Brimstone.

Who's the real power behind this place anyway?

Power?

Sorry, Sheriff, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about. Come on,

Mitchell.

You know this isn't your typical western town.

For instance, where are the horses?

Horses?

What's a horses?

Busy day ahead.

Good luck, Sheriff.

You're gonna need it.

You ain't the boss to me, Sheriff.

I can figure what I'm starting to get around this place.

Here, boy.

What's a nice, big, juicy bone worth to you, information -wise?

Bone?

Try a nice, big, fat, friggin' sirloin steak, pretty boy.

See what that'll get you.

Okay.

Speak.

Bite me.

Would you rather have a mouth full of boot leather?

Oh, all right.

You want to get your friggin' friends out of here?

First, you've got to get their souls back.

Now give me a friggin' meat. Hold on a second.

How do I get their souls back?

For an immortal, you're not too friggin' swift, are you?

Grimstone is a playground for demons.

To break humans out of their tracks, you've got to shock them. And shock them

real good.

Now come on, come on. Where's the friggin' beast?

Here, boy.

There now, kitty, kitty.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

We're here to have fun.

To play with my friends and I.

For the rest of eternity.

But I found my true love, Mr. Gates.

I'm quitting this job.

I'm moving on with my new man.

Your new man?

Seraph Kane.

Dream on, kitty.

You'll be a widow before you're a bride.

What's going to do you for?

Where is he?

Who? Sarah.

I don't know any Sarah.

I thought all bartenders liked to talk.

I don't know who she is.

I'm going to tear out his heart, and I'm going to rip him to pieces, and then

I'm going to shoot every one of those pieces, and then I'm going to take those

pieces and...

Well, if it isn't Gert that saved the silver star.

Where's Sheriff Kane?

Probably at church saying his prayers, if he knows what's good for him.

Now, what would a pretty little thing like you seem like, Sam?

Everything.

I gotta go.

Hold on there, pretty lady.

Here, Sarah, come on back.

My name's not Thera.

Just Sheriff King called me that. My name's Kitty.

Kitty. Is that so?

Yeah.

You're just a kid, kid.

Why don't you just enjoy your youth?

Because I want to be a man.

Like Sheriff King.

I've got a big crush on you, Miss Kitty.

You know, if I were to give you a name, it'd be something like...

Sweet Lily Rose or Wild Lily of the Valley.

What do you want, William Boner?

Why don't you come over here where I can see a little better, huh?

Come on.

You certainly are a natural beauty, Miss Kitty.

Sweet, wild Lily Rose.

I can almost smell your flower perfume from here.

Now give me those keys.

I can't read.

Well, I suggest you try harder because I haven't had a very good day.

Promise you won't hurt Sheriff Kane?

I...

And quicker than the eye. Cherry pie.

What is it that a woman really wants, really needs more than anything in the

world?

Many things.

Love.

Tenderness.

Kindness.

And to know that she is desired.

Sarah, it's Billy.

He's escaped.

It's going to be okay.

No, his gang's coming. They're up for blood. Please don't go. They'll kill you

for sure.

Don't worry about me, okay? Just stay here. No!

We've got to get a policy together. Sarah!

Oh, my God. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I thought... Gun.

Rafe.

Sarah.

Oh, my God. I gotta go say a good one. Huh?

Good one.

Yeah, yeah.

That... Sorry. Was quite a... I had to. To bring you back to reality.

Right.

Yeah.

Time, Sheriff.

Time to wake up and die.

What? I said it's time to wake up and die.

Time for you to wake up, Billy.

Not much of a gang.

Just enough to finish you off.

The farther they fall.

Bet you think you're pretty good with that giant butter knife of yours, huh?

Goodwin, will you put the guns away before you hurt somebody?

Look, I don't know who this Goodwin is, all right?

Think.

Japan, Nishiro.

Our oath to fight demons.

Demons?

You drinking rock guts, Sheriff?

I'm your best friend.

My name ain't Goodwin, and you ain't my friend.

You gonna shoot me?

Uh -huh.

Just another notch on the pistol, Sheriff.

Take your best shot.

You ain't gonna draw.

Nope.

Better aim for the heart.

Almost forgotten how much this... What are we doing here? He could die.

I wouldn't worry about that.

Shouldn't we call someone if he married?

Was.

What are you doing?

Gotta dig the bullet out.

Shouldn't a doctor be doing that? No doctor.

How was it?

Missed a line?

It's all good.

It's a nice place.

You rich?

Yeah. Hey, can we cut the chit -chat and get on with it?

Yeah, sorry.

Hold still.

Can I do anything other than not watch that?

Yeah, we could do some alcohol.

Gin, vodka, and a towel or something. Okay.

You almost got it. Just a little bit to there.

It's a .38 caliber.

Sweet.

Thank you, my good man.

Ray?

Oh, God, what did I do?

Gotcha.

Welcome back.

What am I doing in this village, people?

That's a long story.

Seth?

I'll tell you later.

Sarah. Catch her and she dies.

You may have brought her mind back home, immortal, but her soul belongs to me.

And I'm in control.

Like hell you are.

Oh, exactly like hell.

What exactly are you?

I'm your worst nightmare.

I had a nightmare once where the gums in my mouth were like chewing gum and it

got to my pillow. I think I told you about it.

Not now.

Well, scary to me.

What the hell do you want, Gates?

I'll set roll pounds of flesh will do, for starters.

Well, Sheriff, looks like your days as a lawman are over.

What a trip.

Is that it, kid?

There's no place like home.

You know, I don't remember a thing.

Not until I pulled the trigger and you fell. It was like one of those dreams

where you wake up with just the residual feeling of what might have happened.

Likewise. I mean, after you and I, um... Oh.

Well, that... Yeah.

I look dreamlike.

Some dream.

I have a feeling things are going to be really different from now on.

Me too.

You know, we just need to start cooperating with each other. Right, like

respecting each other's space.

Exactly. And doing those little things like cleaning up after ourselves.

Yeah, like books and files and things like that. T -shirts, socks, fast food

containers. Well, maybe if you start cooking once in a while. Hey, what

to space, huh?

Oh, space. I remember when I had space before you got here. Hey, I'm a girl. I

need my privacy.

That is so weak.