Original subtitles

Would you do me the honor, old boy? I could do with a bit of practice.

With pleasure.

Touché.

Good hit.

Must be having another purge. Hmm.

The other side.

Our worthy opponents.

It says here he was a German businessman.

Oh, that's what it says.

I learnt the truth earlier today.

From one of your undisclosed sources.

Well, ask poor George.

You knew him?

I knew him well. George Winkle. He was one of their top agents. He's funny.

the second one they've bumped off this month.

What if they're going through a phase?

Rather a theatrical murder, wasn't it?

I don't see the thespian qualities of a rubbish dump.

No, I mean the method. Killed by the thrust of a rapier.

Oh, well, maybe they're economizing on ammunition. They do sometimes, you know.

Oh, did I tell you about that time when we went to the... Hey, you've got a

sword.

I've got a visitor. It's my pet lion. Quick,

he's breaking in.

your manners are still appalling. Do you know him?

He's one of their happy little band. They weren't economizing. Get up.

I think I deserve an explanation.

My orders are to kill you.

Were, old fellow, were. Do get your tenses right and do sit down. Thank you.

Oh, why do you want to kill me? I always thought we were the best of enemies.

You know why?

Because of Vincore.

Oh, good old Georgie Vincore. Yes, I was reading about him in the paper, poor

fellow.

You don't think that I did it? Who else?

But that's impossible.

He was killed with a foil. My weapon is a saber.

Anyway, Mrs. Gailey, I noticed I spent the weekend in Morocco.

You're slipping in. I only got back a few hours ago. You can check.

Of course you can. I met a friend of yours out there. Big fellow, moustache,

garlic. Otto.

That's right. Well, he'll tell you.

It can be so easily checked you wouldn't lie about it.

So you didn't kill Vincore?

No, I haven't killed anyone all week. And who did?

We thought your lot did. Why should we kill our top man?

What about Mathers a few weeks ago?

Your people killed him.

We thought that you did.

No.

Our wires are certainly getting crossed up.

Double -crossed. Or triple -crossed. Maybe somebody's playing you off one

against the other.

Give it back.

Uh -uh.

Mustn't be distrustful.

Well, Martin, I think we'd better get all this straightened out.

Take me to your leader.

Colonel, please.

Will you listen?

Colonel, I tell you, it's impossible to infiltrate the horse cars in this

country. Our men don't have the necessary connections.

And besides, as you know, our funds are not generous.

If it was the Pioneer Corps now, we... Yes, Colonel?

No, I have no wish to be recalled.

My loyalty has never been in question.

Very well, Colonel.

Very well. We will infiltrate the horse guards.

Perhaps with a horse.

A beauty party experience, huh?

Thanks.

Steve! Hello, Keller. Steve, my dear fellow. What a pleasure to see you

I told you to kill him. He had nothing to do with Vincourt.

I was abroad at the time. It's true, I checked.

Oh, well, then, perhaps one of your colleagues?

No, it wasn't one of us, I would have known. That's ridiculous. I mean, if you

didn't kill him and we didn't, well, that supposes a third party.

An organization opposed to both of us.

But for what purpose?

Steal secrets, create mayhem, sell to the highest bidder. Oh, but that's

unethical. Unethical or not, that's what we're up against.

A mutual enemy.

Oh.

Oh, that's outrageous.

Scandalous. I never heard anything so dishonest. A bunch of amateurs.

Well, how do you say that, Jim?

Infamy.

Infamy. What are we going to do?

Steed wants to call it truce. Don't you see they're trying to drive a wedge

between us?

We should pool our resources.

You mean work together?

Why not?

You and me?

We've always been very close.

Oh, no, headquarters would never agree to that. They already have. I called

on my way here.

You went over my head? I considered the situation urgent.

Anyway, they're all for it. They're sending you a directive to that effect.

it's Pax for the moment.

Yes, for the moment.

Well, this calls for a drink.

Do you know this takes me all back to old times, Keller?

Remember Vienna?

Remember? I still smell it. Of course.

You were in that weird little poncho next door to the fish market, weren't

I couldn't understand that. Well, the expenses they allowed me did not permit

to.

And you, in the Heyerdorf Hotel, in the lap of luxury.

But then I...

Of course, you pay for that out of your own pocket.

What a naive thought.

You mean that's what's all on expenses?

Naturally.

England expects and all that. We have to maintain a certain standard, you know.

Oh.

Oh, and if I so much as ask for a new office chair.

Look.

But, wait a minute. What about that Baccarat game? Now, you lost 800 marks.

Surely that was expenses.

And the...

Champagne party?

Expenses. And the private plane to Berlin?

Expenses. And the blonde?

Expenses. Oh, yes, those were the days.

Do you remember the Swede? Big fellow.

Tremendous sense of humor.

The day he stepped into the lift. And you'd remove the bottom.

He laughed all the way down.

13 floors.

Tremendous sense of humor.

Splendid chap.

I still carry the scar of his bullet.

In the dark of the night.

Oh, my dear fellow. I'm so sorry. I was just a bit premature.

Here. Ah.

Hey, since we're going to be work together, Keller, I think I ought to

you know, that he's dead.

Oh? I've never seen her.

He's retired. He's taken up horticulture.

Well, thank you very much. It's a pleasure.

Well, now.

To our new alliance.

To our new alliance.

Now then.

Whom will you send us?

Pull our resources, work together. What's your idea?

Well, I suggest that we send someone along to assist you and you send

someone along. to assist Martin.

Oh, not a sign of good faith.

And to make sure there's no funny business.

I'm afraid we cannot proceed without one.

Can you provide someone?

Yes.

Excellent! Well, the exchange can take place where?

Your place, later today? Absolutely fine, very well.

It's going to be a pleasure working with you, Steve.

Cheerio, boy.

Don't be stupid, Martin. You don't seriously imagine I would deliver one of

people to Stead? Then who?

We find someone.

A woman, perhaps.

Yes.

Stead always likes working with a woman.

I congratulate you, Stead.

Getting them to agree to this truth shows real diplomatic flair.

Thank you, my dear.

You must have given them quite a line.

I gained a little more than that. Oh?

Something more tangible.

Money, you mean?

Cheers. Cheers.

It wasn't money. What was it?

I drowned it. No.

Look, there's plenty more here.

No.

Steed. Hmm?

Did you make them some rash promise?

It's the most wonderful opportunity, my dear. What is?

Well, to see how this side works, you know.

Terrific experience. I think you'll enjoy it.

I'll enjoy it.

Steed, what did you give them?

I gave them to you.

Me? Well, not outright, of course. Not as a sort of present. You know, kind of

temporary loan, bridge the gap. You'd be a sort of bond.

Oh, it's a fair exchange.

They've given me someone, too.

I wonder who I'll get.

Well, it all sounds awfully thrilling.

Miss Lawrence, you do understand that the assignment will be an unusual one.

It's work, that's all that matters.

Yes, you see, we're a firm of publishers.

Really? Oh, this is the art department.

The problem is this chap, Steed. A fearfully decent type. Oh, fearfully,

fearfully. But he's a bit eccentric.

He's a writer. A method writer.

Yes. You see, the method writer. Method?

Yes. He has to get right into his plots, you see. I can't put pen to paper until

he's actually lived the whole plot. I see.

At the moment, he's writing a spy story.

Yes. And we have to provide a background for him. And that's where you come in.

As what?

A top agent.

Oh, no, really.

We just want you to keep an eye on him. You know, make sure he doesn't get into

any trouble.

And if he does?

Well, then you let us know.

It's just a question of feeling your way. It shouldn't be difficult for

in your profession.

It'd mean a lot of bad living, of course. You know, making it up as you go

along.

But then, according to your files, you have... Length of experience? Well, it's

all in the blood, really. I mean, we Lawrences do go back to the 17th

Really?

What do you think?

Steed will like her. Tell me, what's he like?

Well, apart from being, you know, you said, a bit eccentric.

Oh, charming.

But utterly ruthless.

I am not yours to swap and barter. Of course not, Mrs. Gayle. What, do you

you're running a slave market? Yeah, oh, no, of course I'm not. Look, I thought

you'd grasp at the chance.

Chance of working cheek by jowl with Martin.

My cheek is going nowhere near his jowl. Now, Mrs. Jowl, Mrs. Gayle, this is a

job of work. I need you. You can't let me down now.

Give me one good reason why not. I'll give you two.

Now, they're coming now. The first thing is we'll find out how the other side

works. Now, unless you're there, we shan't be able to crack this third

They're at our throats already.

We have got to collaborate, and I cannot do it without you.

Now I see how you got them to agree to that truce.

But you're a sly, cunning, devious, scheming... I'll let him in.

Happy smile.

Wanted to like you.

Hello. Hello.

Hello. Mr. Steed, may I introduce Kim Lawrence, John Steed. From us to you.

With love, of course. How good.

Hello.

Well, may I have it back, or are you going to read my poem?

Look.

Oh, you must be Mrs. Steed.

No, Mrs. Gale.

Oh, I see.

Well, Mr. Steed, we've kept our part of the bargain. Of course, you know, Mrs.

Gale. Yes, of course.

She's your choice. Couldn't keep her out of it.

I shall enjoy working with you, Mrs. Gale.

He'll make a pleasant change.

Done anything I would.

Now, if you'll just sign this.

Eh? A receipt for Miss Lawrence.

Oh. Aren't you going to read it?

I think it's all in order.

I'll check the inventory later.

Shall we go?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Not the movements of Winkle, you know. I've got to start somewhere.

Winkle had only been in the country 24 hours. During that time, he made one

at this address. Thank you very much. I suggest you begin there.

I will indeed. Goodbye.

And congratulate Scammer on his excellent taste, will you?

That's a very good painting.

Is it you?

It's my great -grandfather.

Will you have a drink? Not before sundown.

Of course, you could draw the curtain.

How much did Keller tell you?

Oh, nothing he wouldn't like.

I suppose he warned you to be on your guard.

My mother did that when I was 12.

I won't keep you waiting long. Will you take a seat?

Thank you.

What is this, Dave?

I don't know.

Then what are we doing here?

Winkle came here.

It was one of several calls he made the day he died.

One of several?

You told Steve... I must keep something in reserve, Mrs. Gale.

Even when you've agreed to a truce? Yes, but a little cheating. A tiny edge over

the other fellow, that's expected.

I'm sure Steve expects it.

Where else did Winkle go that day? You know, Mrs. Gayle, it really is a great

pleasure to meet you like this. I've admired you for some time.

Thank you.

Where else did Winkle go?

Winkle? Oh, here, the address I gave Steed, a place in Pimlico.

Mrs. Gayle, do you realize it was at my instigation that you were removed from

our wanted list?

Wanted list?

Oh, yes, you're on it. Second from top, right behind J .B.

But I persuaded them.

Well, it was unthinkable that a woman like you... We were talking about

Lincoln? Well?

Well, he came over here to find out something. Good. Then we'll expect to

you again tomorrow.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

Now then, who's next, please?

The lady was first.

Mr. Howe.

Oh. Good afternoon, good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

May I have your name, please? Mrs. Gale.

If you please, Mrs. Gale.

You're not a regular patient of mine, are you?

No, you were recommended to me.

Oh, one can't have too many recommendations by word of mouth.

You'll forgive the little joke.

Which of my patients was it, may I ask?

Winkle, George Winkle.

Oh. What seems to be the trouble, Mrs. Gale? Oh, no trouble. I just wanted to

check her. Well, now, that shouldn't take us long, should it, Mr. Harrop?

Oh, no.

No time at all.

Do you know him?

No, I don't recall a patient of that name. Do you, Mr. Harrop? Mind you, we

so many on our books.

Open wide.

Good morning.

Good morning. I want to tie, please, a club.

Oh, yes, I can do that, sir.

Club, regiment, or school, whatever.

It's likely, sir.

Likely for what?

Good cover for Mr. B.

Now, sir. Now, now. Morris J., please. This is your service.

Now, this tie, sir. An established club, I hope. I don't touch anything

frivolous. Well, naturally. Gentlemen in here the other day.

Well, gentlemen, more of a person, really.

Wanted a tie for the pint of nightclubs.

But you, I can see you're eaten, sir. So what club would it be?

No, no, no, don't tell me. I like to guess.

Whites? No.

Athenaeum? No, no. Oh, no, perhaps not.

Boodles? Oh, yes, yes, you're very definitely Boodles, sir.

Blackboard. No, the tie that I want is for an old established sporting club.

Now, I don't touch anything.

No, I know that. It's a very exclusive club, though. Ah.

The old irascible's fencing and tottering club.

Old irascible?

It's fearfully old.

Fencing and pottering?

Tottering? Oh, I see. Well, you see, we do a spot of fencing and then we do a

spot of tottering.

Well, you know what I mean. Drinking.

I can't say I've ever heard of it, sir. I shall have to check my record. I'm

terrible, sir. I said you're rather a poser.

What's all this fencing business? It's a shot in the dark.

Winkle was killed by the sword, remember? And you mean to say that you

is the one? Yes, I do. Oh.

Yes, yes.

You seem to think this is all one big joke. Well, isn't it?

Where did you learn your job?

School of hard knocks.

It's the best way, isn't it?

I was born into it, really.

My family taught me.

Your father and mother were? Oh, yes, they were both in the business.

Well, everyone was in my family.

Aunts, uncles, brothers, cousins.

All? All.

Oh, there isn't much I haven't done.

Well, don't look so surprised.

Well, after all, I did start when I was five.

Five? Assisting my great -grandmother.

Your great -grandmother was a... Oh, yes. Oh, she was a sweet old lady.

Terribly good with a knife.

And stamina.

Do you know she went on working till she was over 89?

Hey. Don't seem to have any trace of the old irascible... Oh, dear. The old

untouchables. That's an Indian ring. I think I'll take one of these. Are you

good, sir?

Hey, what a fine selection of swagger sticks.

Yes, that's nice, but this is the pick of the bunch.

If you have an eye for hand tools, Silver.

Oh, God.

Ah, you've done a better thought, sir. A long time ago, sir.

Don't have it. Die hard. Still keeping trim, eh?

Well, my bones are a little stiff these days.

I thought that Winkle said you best.

Sir?

Georgie Winkle.

He's a terrific swordsman, of course. No, he's a customer of yours.

Winkle? That's a foreign name, isn't it, sir?

That's right. He was in here the other day. Six set, cheery. Twenty -five

shillings, sir.

I don't recall anybody of that description.

Will that be all?

That'll be all, and there's one pound and five shillings. Thank you, sir.

that. You never know. Come along, my dear. You must be hungry.

That's a good girl.

Good day, sir.

Your teeth are in excellent condition, Mrs. Gale.

Really, there was no need to see me at all. Ah, well, I like to be on the safe

side.

Yes, don't we all?

Thank you very much, Mr. Harrop.

Oh, uh, I must have made a mistake.

About George Winkle?

I probably got the addresses mixed up.

Yes, Mrs. Gale, you must have made a mistake, mustn't you, Mr. Harrop?

Burglary. Breaking and entering. What?

Breaking and entering. It's correct, sir. Oh.

Well, whatever it's called, it's fairly illegal.

We'll both end up in Holloway.

Do you think there's a chance?

Oh.

Well, I... Oh.

Oh, honestly.

Honestly, Keller told me you were a bit straight.

Don't believe him. Pathological liar.

You're not helping.

Well, it's awfully dusty here.

Part of our bargain.

Oh. Well, what do you want me to do?

Have a look in the back room.

Yes. What am I supposed to be looking for?

Clues. Clues.

Oh, clues.

Oh, yes.

Clues.

Rodine.

Yes, well, what it boils down to, Mrs. Gale, is you have lost Martin.

I haven't lost him. He ran out on me. I hardly think that is likely.

My men do not run out.

Except possibly on your instructions.

My dear, there must be a mutual trust between us.

I agree.

So I suggest you start by telling me where Martin is.

I do not know.

But I suspect you, Mr. Stead, that this whole thing bears...

The whole marks of his style.

Why don't you call him?

Away we go, then.

Oh, not another trip to that dusty old... Yours not the reason why. Ready?

Hello.

Steve?

I'd like to know what's going on.

Are you all right? Yes, of course I'm all right. Have you seen Martin?

Martin? Have you lost him then?

He's disappeared.

Where are you? I'm at Keller's place.

Is he there with you?

No, no, no. I haven't seen him. I don't know where he can be unless it's his

club. What do you think, Keller?

Well... Has he been in touch with you?

No, I haven't had one word. Not one word.

Hello? Hello?

One, two...

overload steed with information, do we?

I will make further inquiries about

Martin.

In the meantime, I take it you have no objection to keeping to your side of the

bargain. You will remain here until Martin is found.

Very well. Thank you.

It's not that I don't trust you, Mrs. Gale. My motto is trust everybody,

Always cut the cards.

He's a writer.

A method writer.

Yes, that's it. A method writer.

Method? Yes.

He has to get right into his plots.

You see, he can't put pen to paper unless he's actually lived the whole

Oh, I see.

At the moment, he's writing... Forty -eight nantharo mix.

Half a dozen kings canterbury.

Ten brainers.

Four more lists.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

It's all ready for you. If you'll just sign for it.

Thank you.

Oh, it's you again.

It jolly well is. That's how you sold me. Do you realize what it is? It's the

whopping voluntary.

Not only a regiment of the line, but foot soldiers.

Never.

Whopping? Whopping.

But it's impossible.

I suggest you check your records.

We aren't. Yes, right away.

Pimlico.

Where are we off to now?

We're going to follow them.

Would it be awfully bad form to inquire why?

Martin's body is in that box.

Ask a silly question.

See what we observed about the hailing of the taxi cab.

Our first task is to stand out from the hurly -burly of the menials.

Let us not forget that competition is fierce, especially during the rainy

season. So first of all, presence.

Presence. Feet firmly apart, balance lightly on the toes, shoulders squared.

Hold the umbrella in the right hand.

We are now ready to hail our cab.

The eye must select its objective.

Fix and hold the target with a steady eye.

Judge the speed of its approach, assess the competitors nearby, and one, two,

three, hail!

Take your time from me, gentlemen, please.

One, two, three, hail!

Square your shoulders, sir.

One, two, three, hail!

With us, we are waggling. We are waggling where we should be thrusting.

been told about waggling before.

Thrust, man, thrust!

That's better.

All right, dead rest, gentlemen, please.

Now, how are we getting on with the retrieval of the dropped action?

Let's see if the gentleman goes through his paces a bit.

Allow me.

Superb.

Absolutely superb, sir.

Notice the pure economy of movement, gentlemen.

And the smile, observe the smile, playing, just playing round.

Well, my congratulations, sir.

Thank you very much. I am Mr. Edgar, the principal of this establishment.

To whom do I have the honor of speaking?

I'm John Steed, and I introduce Miss Lawrence.

Honored to meet your acquaintance. Now, Mr.

Steed, what are you doing here? Clearly, you could have no need of my services.

I mean, the cut of your coat, sir, the run of your tie. I'm lost in admiration.

So am I.

Lost, I mean. Ma? What is this place? Oh, this, ma, is an academy of charm for

aspiring young gentlemen.

We take the raw material, and believe me, sometimes it is very raw indeed, and

we turn the mere man into the gentleman.

We endeavour to endow him with those qualities that some of us were lucky

to be born with. Eh, Mr. Steve? Do you have much success?

I try. That's all that I can do is to try. But if I make only some small

success, I feel I've made some contribution.

Half an oaf is better than low bread.

Mr. Edgar, why...

The mask.

My own idea.

Miss Betty is young and pretty, and we don't want that to influence my pupils.

The true gentlemen respect all women, whatever their age or aspect.

Isn't that so, Mr. Steed? We wouldn't be influenced by a pretty face.

Of course not.

But you still haven't told me, sir, the purpose of your visit.

It's rather confidential.

Oh, come to the office. Miss Betty, will you carry on, please? This way, Mr.

Steed and Miss Lauren.

Thank you very much.

Now, sir.

I am looking for a friend. Is he a pupil?

Possibly. His name is Binkle.

It doesn't strike a chord.

No, I can safely say I have no one of that name. I have a photograph.

I have never seen this man.

Must be misinformed. Sorry, I can't help you, Mr. Steele. Well, we've had a

total alarm.

Oh, I've lost it. I've lost my own.

You've been a bit light -headed all day.

Thank you very much, Mr. Evans. My pleasure, Miss Lawrence.

Charming man.

Have you ever seen him before, Miss Betty?

No, Mr. Edgar.

No, never.

I'll get down there.

Mrs. Gale, you're a green man. I've decided to go back to Steve.

You know, Steve, the method writer is a bit eccentric.

Oh, but Mrs. Gale... That girl you sent, Steve, was just an actress. An actress

you hired for the occasion. I fully... You didn't even begin to keep your side

of the bargain, did you?

So I think that absolves me from keeping mine.

Working with you has been an experience.

a lot of writing.

An old aunt in Eastbourne, a few fellas from the war. I keep in touch

occasionally. You are funny.

I wonder what they did with it. With what?

Martin's body. Oh, Mr.

Steed. You're not still on about that, are you? It's a problem. Surely one

you've come up against before.

The disappearing corpse.

Well, so does the hill, doesn't it?

You know, I remember once in Cardiff, we had three.

Two in the window seat.

And the other one wrapped up in brown paper parcels. Brown paper parcels. In

pieces.

Dismembered, my dear. Oh, that's simply gorgeous.

They never found the head.

I had that in my sewing basket.

I think it's going to rain. Do you think, Anastor?

Drawing on your bumper experience of bodies, do you think you could help me

other margins, Gertie? All right, then. Come on, let's play your game.

Well, first there's a body in a crate, and then no body.

We followed the wrong one. It's in the other crate. Will that do?

What other crate? In the back of that shop.

Would you remember you told me to go and look for clues?

Well, I did. And, well, this did seem to me, well, very clue -like.

You see, it had such a peculiar address.

And I thought to myself, well, heavens, what would a dentist want with a crate

full of bowler hats?

There. That's the lot.

We ought to test them.

Don't worry. I guarantee they can all transmit up to 20 miles.

All in first class order. That's more than can be said for you.

You want to get a grip on yourself.

What about that woman, eh, Mrs. Gay? What about her? She didn't get anything

from us. No, but she suspected, didn't she?

You're breaking our power.

The boss wouldn't like that.

Over there.

For goodness sake.

I've just finished one batch.

Look, that's all. Enough is enough.

I'm not a machine.

I'm tired. This is different.

No.

The boss says yes.

No, I won't.

Equipment is my line.

Not that. The boss says yes.

Here you come, my dear.

What is it? It's that man's steed and the girl. They were out at the school

today. What did I tell you? Do you know what to do?

Do you know?

All you do is ask a few subtle questions and watch for the reaction.

I posited my contract, made no provision whatsoever for anything like that. Now,

what you have to say is, I was recommended by a friend. I was

Listen, I was recommended by a friend. What's his name? What's his name? Oh,

Winkle or something. Winkle. Winkle, Winkle. Who's next?

It's the young lady. I was recommended by a...

We were on the bait, Alaska, and then a sudden twinge. I thought I'd better

bring along right away. Next time, don't worry. I shall read the very smallest

print. Courage and chin up.

I was recommended by a friend.

Oh, my.

Hold still.

Miss Smythe.

Good news.

Matherking's been relieved.

You won't find anything here. I've already tried.

I just came to tell you, you've been double -crossed. What do you mean?

That girl they sent you, Kim Lawrence, hasn't any idea what this is all about.

They told her some tale about you being a writer. She's really an actress.

An actress?

That explains great -grand -mama, the head in the sewing basket.

Let's see.

Have you seen Martin?

Martin's dead.

How do you know? I found him in a tub full of bowler hats.

Do you know that drill isn't stop one?

Little do you little use, Miss Lawrence.

The bonds of the old school tie are well nigh impossible to break.

Did you call him? Yes, we're to move her. But it was dangerous enough getting

her here. Those are his orders. This place is finished. We're not to use it

anymore.

Better get some help.

Well, put her out of sight first.

Get that crate.

If anything's happened

to her...

I sent her in, don't you see? She's a raw recruit. She didn't know what she

getting into.

That was Keller's fault, not yours.

I sent her in.

Now, where would they have taken her?

Where, where, where, where, where, where?

Did you find anything at all from Martin? Nothing that made any sense. Try

Well, he talked a bit about Winkle.

Steed, I think Winkle was here on a very special assignment.

Of course he was. He was after the man that we're after. I guess that from the

start. The third party.

What else did Martin say?

Is there something about an establishment in Pimlico? Does that mean

you? The charm school, of course. Everything leads back there.

Now, if they did that with Martin, they'd do the same with Kim.

Phone Keller, tell him to come to this address within the hour and tell him to

be prepared for trouble.

You're going to use Keller after he tricked you?

Yep, I'm going to use Keller and within the hour.

Then what?

You come at work.

don't go away

The clasp of the umbrella is extremely important, gentlemen.

The fingers folded so, the forefinger in line with the shaft, the grip firm but

relaxed. The eye fixed on the target, the feet lightly poised.

Are you ready, gentlemen?

One, two, three, kill!

Carry, recover.

Take your time for me, gentlemen, please.

One, two threes, kill!

Carry. recover.

Excellent, excellent, excellent.

Nice deadly style about it.

Again, gentlemen.

One, two, three, kill.

Harry, recover.

No, no, no, Peter. We are not robbing a balloon. We are killing the enemy.

All right.

At ease, gentlemen.

We will now practice the short stab in the back, otherwise known as show

business.

In there, gentlemen, please.

A tale of difference.

Now, listen, gentlemen.

Lost to an umbrella a little lower down.

Now, with our eyes fixed firmly on our adversary, we creep forward.

Creep.

Creep.

Creep.

Creep.

Follow me.

Like someone who's been tied up and dumped in a box.

Look at you out here in the jiffy.

Oh. What is it?

My old regiment.

Well.

Pimlico.

Yes. Well, congratulations,

Mrs. Gale.

Oh, and Steve, too, of course.

Yes. Seems you had the edge on us after all.

Oh, I'll meet you both there right away.

We spring this little trap together.

My dear, I always knew our alliance would prove fruitful.

Within the hour, Teller and Mrs.

Gale have missed their cue, haven't they? Amen to that.

Won't it be just a bit difficult?

Our gentlemen, we are now ready for a more serious festival.

First of all, some practice against Oscar here.

And then some mutual combat.

With unguarded blaze, eh?

It gingers up the reflexes tremendously.

Miss Betty?

First of all, we will demonstrate the riposte du compte d 'Orsay.

So -called after the famous nobleman.

Who you may recall after the demonstration... We'll have to get

If I get a chance, I'll reach for the light switch.

And if you can't?

You don't ask that sort of question.

We are now ready to begin.

But first of all, we will take a glance at our enemy identification chart.

Bearing in mind the motto of our organization, seek,

hate, kill.

But he's here!

As soon as the lights go out, you make a dash for the door.

Keep going whatever happens and don't stop for me. I won't even slow down to a

trot for you.

That's the idea.

It should take you about five seconds to get across the floor.

If you don't mind.

Observe, gentlemen, please. Always the correct way of doing things.

Even in defeat.

I can handle the situation now, gentlemen. We mustn't allow this

interfere with our studies.

Do

make

yourself comfortable.

Waiting for our host, eh? The boss.

I'm sorry he couldn't get through to you. It'll be a personal visit. That was

remarkably astute of you, Mr. Dean.

Isn't there something brilliant I can do?

I'm thinking about it.

I'm disappointed in you, Mr. Steed. I thought you would have been a worthier

opponent.

The fortunes of war.

Oh, there are no fortunes in war. The strongest wins.

It's all quite simple.

Over here, sir.

Hello, Steed.

Hello, Miss Lawrence.

Clear the plate. Don't want too many witnesses.

Right, sir.

Mr. Steed?

You can dismiss Klaus for today.

Right, sir.

Klaus, dismiss!

All attended to, sir.

Excellent.

Well, how do you like my little set -up, Steve?

Highly trained force and getting better every day. Very kind of you, sir.

As you put it, create mayhem.

steal cigarettes, sell to the highest bidder, and I'm in charge.

They pass me over long enough with their quibbling over expenses and giving me

short of cash. Well, now I'm ready to put their training to good advantage.

You seem surprised.

No, I guessed.

Huh?

Winkle was sent over to investigate you, wasn't he?

Huh. You really are a cunning old fox.

Then why did you send for me?

I needed confirmation.

But Mrs. Gayle said...

Mrs. Gayle.

Where is she anyhow?

Sir?

Mrs. Gayle. The other woman. There is no other woman, sir.

You fool. She's here somewhere.

You really are an actress.

Very disarming nature, Mrs. Gale.

Touché. What a performance.

It was nothing, really.

Well, it was great -grandmama, you know. Eh?

Well, she had a knife thrown out.

I'm glad I had you two ladies on my side.