Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy day.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy day.

Thursday, Friday, happy day.

The weekend comes, but I go home, ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy days.

Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Sheldon, please.

Oh, baby. In that gray sky, yellow, blue, there's nothing can hold what I

you. So right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin'. Oh, well.

Monday, Monday, happy day.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy day.

Thursday, Friday, happy day.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

The coolest place down in no time.

Why can't we just get an air conditioner like the Burkharts?

Because the time to buy an air conditioner is in February when they're

That's true.

In February, you always say, well, it's 20 degrees out. What do we need an air

conditioner for?

I finally finished addressing my invitations to my party.

Party? What party?

How would you remember? We promised Casey a party if she got straight A's.

Yeah, but that's before I knew she didn't need an incentive.

Don't be such an old poo.

Casey and I thought it would be fun if we had a Hawaiian theme.

Okay, I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll break out the tiki torches and we can

have a barbecue in the backyard.

That way we keep the kids out of the house.

Hi, Cunningham.

We all know Don Kitchell, don't we?

Oh, yeah, you're the dentist's son.

Howard, do you remember? You remember Dr.

Kitchell. Oh, yes, of course.

Yeah, he replaced the cap for me once.

You see, Howard had it done at the dental college for free, you know, but

just botched up the job. Remember how I did that cute little whistle?

Marion, please.

Why don't you be a deer, run to the car, and get the rest

of the bags?

Anything for you, Jenny.

Excuse me a moment.

Marion, why is she bringing her suitcases into my living room? Howard,

just staying here a few days while her folks are out of town. Well, if it's

for a few days, why can't she make it on her own?

The last time she was alone, she got that congressman in trouble.

is the last of it.

Ginny, are you sure you won't change your mind about a movie tonight?

Oh, gee, Don, wish I could, but you see, I'm studying ten days to a more

powerful vocabulary, and I don't want to interrupt the, uh, well, uh,

fungiality. What does that mean?

It means maybe some other time.

Yeah. Well, goodbye, everybody.

Nice seeing everybody.

Bye, Ginny. Goodbye, Don.

Goodbye, Don. Bye, Ginny. Bye.

Ginny, you've been going out with him for a month.

Why'd you turn him down?

Well, Casey, life's a meat market and I'm just tired of the cheap cuts.

I'll take that one.

Hey, Mr. and Mrs. C.

Right here. I want to take a picture of all natural.

Here you go. Come on. Come on.

Go. Oh, man. It looks just terrible.

No, no, no. What is this all about? See, this is the before shot. Now I'm going

to take you outside and you're going to feast your eyes on something magnificent

that I got for you. And that's going to be the after shot.

All right. Come on, Mr. and Mrs. C.

Step over.

Step over.

Look at this.

Is this a dream come true or what?

And I thought it would never happen.

What is it, Marion?

Oh, he's built a little fort.

All right, listen up, huh?

It's 98 degrees.

You just finished a long day selling them cute little wing nuts. You're

home, your shirt is sticking to that plastic seat cover of yours.

All of a sudden...

You come home, you stop the car, you put on the emergency brake, you strip down

to your skivvies, and you take a massive dive into your own pool.

I missed the seat.

Good. Thank you.

Marion, I am not going to throw my life savings into a hole in the ground.

No, don't you understand?

That's the great part.

I'm throwing half of my money into this hole, too.

go swimming, there's a perfectly good pool down at the Y.

Oh, Howard, it's no fun there. Their pool's always full of transients.

Mr. Fonzarelli, I just got off the phone with my subcontractor. He says we can

start ripping up this yard right away. Auntie!

Yeah, well, there's just a little wrinkle in the ointment there.

Mr.

C, I would love you to meet Eric Sandler right here.

Eric Sandler, the Olympic swimmer?

Yeah, I go to UWM now and work for my father during the summer.

Sandler, plumbing, pools, and...

Septic tanks?

Hey, what's going on?

Arthur is talking to Howard about a swimming pool.

Oh, that's right!

Thank you! Hold it right here, right here, hold it! Will you stop that? You

an album, don't you?

Now look, I'm sure you know your pools, young man, but I'm not ready to put one

in yet.

But however, if I do need a new septic tank, I have your card.

He's going to come around and felt the same way about frost -free

Hi,

I'm Casey.

I know you.

You're Eric Sandler.

60 Olympic trials.

100 meter freestyle and 56 .5.

Heart -shaped mole on your upper left thigh.

Yeah, I've seen you at the meets.

You're the one who keeps offering to shave the guy's bodies.

country against the best the world has to offer.

Oh, Casey, sweetheart, why don't you just go slip into something red, white,

blue and run on inside, get Eric something cold to drink. Okay, iced tea,

fine. Or I can make some freshly squeezed lemonade, but that would take

long. Oh, that's better.

Uh,

she really doesn't have to go to all that trouble. Ah, she lives for it.

Look, I'd like to stay and chat, but I've got another fool to dig this

afternoon. Oh, in this heat?

Oh, you really shouldn't leave before the lemonade gets here. You know, if you

don't get enough liquids on a day like today, well... Oh, my!

Are you all right? Oh, it's just a little heat stroke.

Is there anything I can do?

You could loosen my clothing.

Eric Sandler?

Jenny's dating the Eric Sandler? Yes, it's true.

They've been seeing each other every day this week.

Sure. John Wayne rides side saddle.

All right, where is she?

Where's my green fall cousin?

Jenny's not here.

Well, she said something about an emergency.

She probably just wants to use my fake ID again.

Hi, what's your name?

Carla.

Where's the rest of your shirt?

Oh,

this is that quaint little place I was telling you about.

Attention, everybody.

I would like for you all to meet my date for this life, Eric Sandler.

I won't burden you with all of their names.

I'll just get something to go. I've got a customer waiting with an allergy

problem. Can't swim in the pool, but fishing's good.

Oh, but we do have fun.

Excuse me.

Why, Carla, what a truly unexpected surprise.

Why, Jen -Jen?

Didn't you think the cab you sent for me would show up?

Carla, Carla, Carla.

Admit it.

You're jealous.

Just because some Marvy guy walks into Arnold's with you doesn't mean it's

serious. Oh, really?

Well, then how do you explain that?

Holiday Inn finally gave you a master key.

Jenny, I've got to go.

If I'm not home when you get there, why don't you just use your key and let

yourself in?

Your tongue will dry out.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it.

So, Jenny, are you going to invite Eric to my party on Saturday night?

Sweetheart, when you've got the Hope Diamond, you don't hide it in your bra.

There you are, Jenny.

I've been trying to reach you for four days. Hi. Hi, Casey.

I hope we go to Casey's party together.

Oh, well, just sit down and y 'all just talk a while.

I'm going to go order an apple for the pig's mouth.

Be damn tall.

Oh,

Don.

Don, dear, sweet, predictable Don.

We need to have a little talk.

About what?

Well, Don, I can't say that the dating hasn't been fun.

The movies, the sodas, the free dental x -rays.

I think it's time for me to move on.

Don, dear, find another woman.

Someone more conventional and someone more your own speed.

Well, like Casey.

Or a nun.

I certainly misjudged you, Jenny. I thought we had something going.

No. I guess I was just wasting my time.

Well, no hard feelings.

Jenny, he was so nice.

Aren't you afraid of burning your bridges?

Torch them, baby. I have Eric.

breeze in here. And that's real air, Marion. None of that phony factory stuff

you get with air conditioning.

Hi, Steve.

I finally finished waxing Eric's car.

You know, it would have taken a lot longer if I hadn't found these cute

mittens to help me finish polishing the chrome.

Bye.

Marion, those are my golf club covers.

Howard, now don't get upset. I'm sure they'll just wash out. I'm not upset.

I just need some professional help, that's all.

I'm going out to find me a hitman.

Now, see, if we had a pool, then you could go up.

Hi, Eric. Come on in.

Thanks.

Why not get Jenny? Oh, don't bother. I just dropped by to get my car. Oh, okay.

Oh, but you can give her these.

Ooh, something for Jenny. Mind if I just peek? Go ahead. It's just my laundry.

Look, when she's done cleaning my apartment, she can just leave the key

the mat, okay?

She's cleaning your apartment?

Yeah. Oh, she's been a great help.

Frankly, I don't know why she's doing it.

Well, I suppose because she likes you.

Yeah, I can accept that.

I just hope she doesn't get too hung up on me.

That happens to me a lot.

Jenny, hung up?

Never, never.

Good.

Because, hey, you know how it is.

Sometimes plain Janes like Ginny, they get their kicks from hanging around good

-looking, rugged athletes like myself.

Catch you later, kid.

What a cow, Patty!

I'll take one last dip before we drain this sucker.

It's Jenny.

Yeah. Jenny thinks that she and Eric are a couple.

And Eric doesn't see it that way at all. And I just hate to see Jenny get hurt.

Yeah, I know. Casey, look, you're new in town, right? We've all been down this

road with Jenny before. And believe me, it is a dead end.

Excuse me.

Jenny, we've got to talk.

Oh, save it. I've got to get Eric's sweater ready.

You certainly do. You do a lot for Eric.

Oh, come on. I just do his laundry and... Walk his little doggie and

his furniture.

No big deal.

He's gorgeous.

But is he worth all of this?

Casey, come out of your coma.

When Eric and I walk into that party tonight, all of those girls are going to

finally look at me and say, I wish I were Jenny Piccolo.

And then I'm going to look at them and laugh with that cute little way that I

do.

My skirt's ready yet?

Why, Eric.

Quelle chance, my love. It's good to see you.

Okay, Fina, we're just talking about the party tonight.

I've been thinking about that, too.

Which reminds me, I've got pineapples galore to dice in here.

You know, I'm getting the impression that a lot of people are starting to

of us as an item.

Well, let the tongues wag.

Well, frankly, it's making it kind of difficult to date other girls.

Suppose I don't mind if you were to see other girls.

Just keep it out of the paper.

What I'm trying to say is I think that you should go to that party tonight

without me.

What?

Eric, you can't do that to me.

I already hired a photographer.

It's not that I don't appreciate all the work you've done. If it's any

consolation, I really like the finish on my dining room table.

Look, I'll make you a deal. I'll weatherstrip your windows if you come to

party with me for just five minutes.

No, no, no.

Ginny, what I'm... That's exactly what I mean. I don't respond to desperate

women. But I'm not desperate.

Oh, please, let me convince you of that. Just give me another chance.

Ginny, you're scuffing my boot.

Look, I'll level with you.

You're a good egg.

I'm just not interested in you as a woman.

You're not the perfect... Bye, Ginny.

Didn't I ask you to put these on hangers?

You just have to do one little thing for me.

What? Cancel your party tonight.

I'll stick with the poi popsicles.

I wish you could talk Jenny into coming out to the party. You know, she's going

to miss the limbo contest.

I'll try, Aunt Marion, but, you know, if Melvin's torch dance didn't get her out

here, nothing will.

So stirring.

Hi, Lloyd.

Jenny Piccolo.

How'd you like to make a fast ten bucks?

Listen, come to a party with me tonight and pretend like you're madly in love

with me.

What do you mean, 75?

No way, butter.

Forget it. I'm not that hard up.

Jimmy, come on out.

There's a lot of people that don't have dates.

Excuse me, Casey, but everyone out there is expecting me to show up with Eric.

If I walk out there alone, they'll think he dumped me.

He did.

I know that.

But if I walk out there with someone else, they'll think I dumped him.

Let's see.

Excuse me.

Tony Zignowski.

Yuck. Greece or city, I'm not spending a penny over five bucks.

Oh,

Dawn, sweetheart, you've come back just like a little homing pigeon.

Don't say another word.

Isn't he just adorable?

Oh, Dawn, I'm so glad you saw through all those silly little things that I

to you in Arnold.

No, but I think I did finally see the real you.

Oh, I'm nothing like the real me.

Jenny, I really liked you.

But I realized that somebody who cared about me wouldn't treat me the way you

did.

I'm sorry.

I really liked you, too. I'm sorry. It's too late, Jenny. Oh, just give me

another chance.

I'm here with Shelly.

Oh, Shelly Rusulo?

Yeah. The Alpo Queen?

She's a cheap date.

You don't need to bring her any flowers. Just a rawhide bone.

Ditch her.

Maybe that's your style, Jenny, but it's not mine.

Oh, sure.

Just this new guy in the Tri -State area will go out with me tonight.

At least it's not the first time.

You see, I have been dumped by two guys in the same day.

They're probably going to name a landfill after me.

Come on.

Gray skies are going to clear up.

Put on a happy face.

Oh, Casey, please. I feel sick enough as it is. Don't make me nauseous.

Does with the American classic.

Fancy Jenny's heading down that dead end again, and this time I think she's

going to need a tow truck.

All right, I'll talk to her. You do me a favor. Yeah? You eat this.

If you're checking for coins between the cushions there, forget it.

I already checked it out.

You don't want to be seen with me either. I didn't say that.

Then you'll take me to the party. I definitely did not say that either.

I don't blame you. Why?

Because I'm not pretty enough.

Because I've got a very big mouth.

And I've got a body that doesn't quit. It just knocks off early.

Yeah, right, right.

No guy will ever really want me.

I seem to remember a guy following you around like a pool toy after a two -year

-old. But that was just Don. Oh, yeah, right, just Don. We don't like him.

Oh, we like him. Oh, yeah?

I thought he wasn't very nice.

He's pretty nice.

Uh -huh.

So I certainly understand why you gave him his walking papers.

Fonzie, I dumped Don for Eric.

Right, Eric, the man who treated you just like a queen.

Not exactly like a queen.

You had great fun with him, huh?

No, not really.

Yeah, he wasn't very nice.

Not especially.

Yeah, that's what I thought.

But when I went out with him, heads turned.

Jenny, you're unbelievable.

You know, I knew a guy once that had a VW and took him everywhere he wanted to

go. But he thought it didn't have enough flash.

That sounds like Don.

So he got himself a Cadillac.

That's Eric.

I'll tell you, when he pulled up a red light, people, their eyes perked up, you

know? Then one day it broke down.

He didn't have any money for the brake job, so he parked it in his driveway.

Everybody looked at it and thought, whoa, he's rolling dough.

Meanwhile, he's taking a bus to work.

That's my life.

Mm -hmm.

Thanks, Fonz. I feel worse than ever.

See, that's what I'm here for.

Nick at night's getting ready for Valentine's Day. It's a romantic evening

weekday mornings are twice as nice.

What do I always talk to you about?

Back. And where does that come from?

It comes from your heart, Jenny, not what you drive or who you're with. Can

dig it?

Thanks, Fonz. I'm not done yet.

Now, you've got two choices.

You could stay and hide in here and miss this fantabulous party, or you could

get up the courage and go out there and show everybody that you do not mind

being yourself.

Now, I'm done.

Well, here I go.

What the heck?

All by myself.

By the luck, this sucker will break up early.

Hello, people.

Stay tuned for another episode of Happy Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice. It's

not going to be nice. It's going to be wild. No, Patsy, it's going to be nice.

Twice as nice.