Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:02,880
Sunday, Monday, happy days.
2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:05,360
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.
3
00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:07,860
Thursday, Friday, happy days.
4
00:00:08,080 --> 00:00:12,140
The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready
to race to you.
5
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:14,880
These days are ours.
6
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,120
Happy and free.
7
00:00:17,340 --> 00:00:18,360
Happy days.
8
00:00:18,620 --> 00:00:20,280
These days are ours.
9
00:00:20,740 --> 00:00:22,340
Tell them we're free.
10
00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:25,200
Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.
11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,980
There's nothing can hold me when I hold
you. So right.
12
00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:30,340
You can't be wrong.
13
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:33,680
Rockin' and rollin'. Sunday,
14
00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:45,260
Monday, happy days.
15
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:47,800
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.
16
00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:50,280
Thursday, Friday, happy days.
17
00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:52,740
Saturday, what a day.
18
00:00:52,980 --> 00:00:54,820
Roomin' all week with you.
19
00:00:55,640 --> 00:00:57,220
These days are ours.
20
00:01:34,830 --> 00:01:37,830
Please come on, line up, single fire,
and make sure you don't have nothing
21
00:01:37,830 --> 00:01:38,830
in your pants.
22
00:01:45,010 --> 00:01:46,410
Oh, Jenny, it's Christmas.
23
00:01:49,510 --> 00:01:53,310
Can you believe it? My parents are
coming all the way from Nairobi to see
24
00:01:53,590 --> 00:01:54,710
It's a miracle, Jenny.
25
00:01:54,930 --> 00:01:59,390
After all these years of fighting, the
Cunninghams will be a family again.
26
00:02:00,090 --> 00:02:01,090
Whoopee.
27
00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:05,900
All Christmas is at my house is my
father getting sauced on eggnog and
28
00:02:05,900 --> 00:02:07,820
how far up the chimney he can climb.
29
00:02:09,300 --> 00:02:10,800
Jimmy, you just don't understand.
30
00:02:12,100 --> 00:02:16,920
Christmas is not Christmas until it's
Christmas in your heart.
31
00:02:18,180 --> 00:02:20,500
Throw hot chocolates in an air thickness
bag.
32
00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:39,350
Thank you very much for your honesty.
Thank you. Here you go, huh?
33
00:02:40,810 --> 00:02:41,810
It's Santa!
34
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:45,250
Right, here you go, Santa. Here's that
bundle of joy I was telling you about.
35
00:02:45,710 --> 00:02:47,750
Oh, you must be Heather.
36
00:02:48,610 --> 00:02:50,370
Come, take a picture with Santa, huh?
37
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:53,730
All right, huh?
38
00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,390
Hey, look at that beautiful tree.
39
00:02:55,590 --> 00:02:56,850
Find out what she wants, huh?
40
00:02:57,350 --> 00:02:59,990
Listen, I'm just going to take a little
stroll, all right? I'll see you later.
41
00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:03,330
So tell me, Heather, why do you want
Santa to bring you?
42
00:03:03,770 --> 00:03:05,070
I want a dollhouse.
43
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000
A baseball glove?
44
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:13,200
Fonzie thinks I need one.
45
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:16,440
Uh, yeah, well, I didn't want her to
grow up and be a 50, you know.
46
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,520
Well, is that all, Heather? You want
anything else?
47
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,460
Well, there's one more thing, but it's
not for me.
48
00:03:25,020 --> 00:03:28,780
Uh, listen, uh, just tell Santa what it
is, and I will get it for you, all
49
00:03:28,780 --> 00:03:29,860
right? Santa?
50
00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:33,760
Yeah? Can you get my mommy to make up
with my grandma?
51
00:03:45,420 --> 00:03:48,500
Yes, I did. I said he could do anything,
but I'm talking about, you know, like
52
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,580
trains or little bicycles, you know,
hobby horses.
53
00:03:51,980 --> 00:03:53,260
This one is real tough.
54
00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:54,740
Yeah, tough, tough, very tough.
55
00:03:58,240 --> 00:03:59,240
It's all right.
56
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,780
I didn't get that wish last year either.
57
00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:04,440
Oh.
58
00:04:04,980 --> 00:04:06,980
All right, let's go home. Give me a fly,
all right?
59
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,680
Say thank you to Santa.
60
00:04:09,220 --> 00:04:10,220
Thanks anyway.
61
00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,180
are going to walk through that door any
minute. Right.
62
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,120
And you haven't spoken to him in 15
years.
63
00:04:42,340 --> 00:04:46,060
Right again. But look, Marion, I
promised you I wouldn't get into a fight
64
00:04:46,060 --> 00:04:49,320
Dick, didn't I? I know that, dear, but
he always says something that gets you
65
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:54,680
all riled up. You remember 15 years ago,
two grown men screaming at each other
66
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:59,020
about whether Ted Williams was a better
baseball player than Joe DiMaggio and at
67
00:04:59,020 --> 00:05:00,380
your grandmother's funeral.
68
00:05:02,980 --> 00:05:06,200
Jotun Joe DiMaggio was the greatest ball
player who ever lived.
69
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:11,140
I just can't stand the way my brother is
always telling me what to do and how to
70
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:14,740
do it. But don't you worry, Marion,
because no matter what he does or what
71
00:05:14,740 --> 00:05:17,020
says, I'm not going to lose my temper.
Oh, sure.
72
00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:17,859
Try me.
73
00:05:17,860 --> 00:05:18,860
All right, okay.
74
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,440
All right. Now, I'm going to be Dick.
All right.
75
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:25,280
Oh, Howard, Howard.
76
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:27,280
How's the hardware business?
77
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:31,600
It's a wonderful little business to be
in. You know, Howard, it's good to see
78
00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:36,040
you. I still say that... Ted Williams is
a better baseball player than Joe
79
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,000
DiMaggio. That does it.
80
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:14,680
Merry Christmas, Dick.
81
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,980
Merry Christmas, Howard.
82
00:06:24,900 --> 00:06:26,540
It's good to see you again.
83
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:30,100
Fifteen years is a long time to hold a
grudge. Sixteen years.
84
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:31,980
You were never good with numbers,
Howard.
85
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:37,060
Well, fifteen, sixteen, what's the
difference? It's good to see you again.
86
00:06:37,360 --> 00:06:42,020
Now, you two must be so tired from that
long trip all the way from Africa.
87
00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,380
I'm sure you'd like to freshen up a
little bit.
88
00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,419
Would I?
89
00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:48,620
The last time I had a shower, it was
with a gazelle.
90
00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,020
I've got the suitcase.
91
00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,820
Oh, hold it, Howard. I'll take him.
Don't forget it. You might throw your
92
00:06:53,820 --> 00:06:54,539
out again.
93
00:06:54,540 --> 00:06:58,280
There's nothing wrong with my back.
Well, maybe so, but you still have a
94
00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,120
terrible temper. Who says I have a
terrible temper? Howard!
95
00:07:01,460 --> 00:07:05,980
Howard! Oh, oh, oh. Well, if it makes
you feel any better, I'll take the
96
00:07:05,980 --> 00:07:06,980
one.
97
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,120
He's pushing me again, Marion. He's
pushing me. I don't know what to say.
98
00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:15,440
I'll take the match.
99
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:19,720
I saw something wonderful today, you
know. I was over to Cunningham's and
100
00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:22,800
were these two guys, Dick and Howard,
acting just like brothers.
101
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:24,240
They are brothers.
102
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:25,380
That's the beauty of it.
103
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,960
Doesn't Christmas make you feel warm for
family?
104
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,780
Maybe we should test the Christmas tree
lights.
105
00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:38,660
Over the river and through the woods to
Grandma's house we go. Fonzie. Hello.
106
00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,780
I know what you're doing and it's not
going to work.
107
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:43,480
Sure it's going to work. It's Christmas
time.
108
00:07:43,870 --> 00:07:45,290
Everybody loves to make up at Christmas
time.
109
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:46,750
I'll dial. You call. Come on.
110
00:07:47,310 --> 00:07:48,310
Get over here.
111
00:07:48,690 --> 00:07:49,690
Fonzie. Yeah.
112
00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:54,210
Do you have any idea what it feels like
to be deserted by your parents?
113
00:07:54,510 --> 00:07:55,469
First hand.
114
00:07:55,470 --> 00:07:56,470
So what?
115
00:07:57,210 --> 00:08:00,810
When I got married, my parents said, if
you go through with this, we never want
116
00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:01,689
to see you again.
117
00:08:01,690 --> 00:08:02,850
I didn't believe them.
118
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:05,830
I just said, when you change your mind,
give me a call.
119
00:08:06,670 --> 00:08:08,290
Fonzie, they never did.
120
00:08:08,650 --> 00:08:11,610
How do you know? The line might be busy.
You might have been out. Why don't you
121
00:08:11,610 --> 00:08:12,409
get a service?
122
00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:13,410
Fine, if you don't understand.
123
00:08:14,510 --> 00:08:18,390
When my husband walked out on Heather
and me, I was very, very lonely, and I
124
00:08:18,390 --> 00:08:20,730
really needed my parents, and they were
not there for me.
125
00:08:22,190 --> 00:08:25,030
I'm not going to call. I don't want to
talk about it. I understand. I would
126
00:08:25,030 --> 00:08:26,730
to ask you a question. That's all.
127
00:08:27,210 --> 00:08:29,250
Huh? Hey, get over here.
128
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,990
Why don't you try sending a card?
129
00:08:35,190 --> 00:08:36,190
Telegram. Oh.
130
00:08:36,870 --> 00:08:37,629
Forget it.
131
00:08:37,630 --> 00:08:38,950
Right. For now. Oh.
132
00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:47,490
The 2004 TV Land Awards are coming. But
first, go behind the scenes of last
133
00:08:47,490 --> 00:08:49,810
year's celebration for all the rehearsal
magic.
134
00:08:50,010 --> 00:08:51,010
Here we go.
135
00:08:51,930 --> 00:08:52,930
Backstage excitement.
136
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:54,210
Incredible to see all this people.
137
00:08:54,470 --> 00:08:58,970
Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke. Don
Knotts. And shocking revelations.
138
00:08:59,550 --> 00:09:03,790
I really wanted to be a part of it. Get
inside last year's TV Land Awards with
139
00:09:03,790 --> 00:09:07,930
your all -access pass, a half -hour
special, Wednesday, January 28th at 10 p
140
00:09:07,930 --> 00:09:11,770
.m., followed by an encore presentation
of the 2003 TV Land Awards show.
141
00:09:15,010 --> 00:09:16,010
We've been.
142
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:19,350
That perfect little lift in your day.
143
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,290
Tastes good, feels good.
144
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:26,530
We've been.
145
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,400
Use an ordinary pain rub on your
arthritis and everyone knows it. Use
146
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:36,620
aspirin instead and get clinically
proven, fast -acting pain relief no one
147
00:09:36,620 --> 00:09:37,620
about but you.
148
00:09:37,980 --> 00:09:41,920
Aspirin -free aspirin, fast pain relief
no one knows about but you.
149
00:09:43,020 --> 00:09:47,100
Let Weight Watchers jumpstart your
weight loss with our new Fast Track Kit.
150
00:09:47,100 --> 00:09:51,940
get a two -week meal planner and
exercise DVD free when you join. Hurry,
151
00:09:51,940 --> 00:09:56,740
ends January 31st. Call 1 -800 -651
-6000 today.
152
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:01,820
Need a lift? We'll take your lashes up,
up, and amazing.
153
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:03,840
Almay Bright Eyes.
154
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:09,640
Mascara with a revolutionary dual
-action brush for one, two, triple the
155
00:10:09,740 --> 00:10:11,060
Bright Eyes from Almay.
156
00:10:12,390 --> 00:10:17,330
Think of this. Itchy, flaky dandruff.
The kind that keeps coming back. Shut it
157
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:21,830
down with Neutrogena T -Gel. The number
one dermatologist recommended shampoo to
158
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:25,370
help keep persistent itching and flaking
away. Shut dandruff down.
159
00:10:25,990 --> 00:10:27,730
Neutrogena T -Gel. It works.
160
00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:29,910
This is taking forever.
161
00:10:30,290 --> 00:10:31,630
Just focus on the reward.
162
00:10:31,990 --> 00:10:34,010
And stop talking. You'll lose count.
163
00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:36,040
Thought you were counting.
164
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,280
No, I'm not.
165
00:10:37,460 --> 00:10:41,980
New Shed Spread Country Crock plus
yogurt. A taste of the country whipped
166
00:10:41,980 --> 00:10:42,980
yogurt.
167
00:10:44,720 --> 00:10:46,600
Hey, Piccolo, I need you.
168
00:10:46,860 --> 00:10:48,020
I don't understand.
169
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:49,780
What's the matter?
170
00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:51,560
Well, it's just a bathroom.
171
00:10:52,140 --> 00:10:57,600
Oh, I'm so disappointed, Fonz. I mean, I
had visions of so much more.
172
00:10:57,860 --> 00:11:02,480
An exotic male retreat. A chamber of
brotherhood.
173
00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:04,520
Oh, this is terrible.
174
00:11:05,260 --> 00:11:09,760
Well, I'm really sorry to disappoint
you. No, this, it's my old phone number.
175
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,040
Fonz, have you got an eraser?
176
00:11:15,440 --> 00:11:19,260
When you finish putting in a personal ad
that I see in the wrapping department,
177
00:11:19,340 --> 00:11:20,299
I need help.
178
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:24,380
Oh, Fonz, really, I mean, I've seen
leftovers wrap better than these.
179
00:11:25,460 --> 00:11:26,460
I'd be honored.
180
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:30,040
Oh, oh, this is beautiful.
181
00:11:30,970 --> 00:11:33,210
Is it cashmere? No, this is American.
182
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:34,510
Put it back in.
183
00:11:36,330 --> 00:11:38,570
I'll tell you something. I can't believe
it.
184
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:42,270
Why are you women so stubborn?
185
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:47,670
No matter what I do, no matter where I
go, I can't get Ashley to talk to her
186
00:11:47,670 --> 00:11:50,910
parents. So? I still live at home and I
don't talk to mine.
187
00:11:52,090 --> 00:11:54,230
But don't you understand? I mean, take a
kid who's...
188
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,820
Who's got every cool toy in town. I
mean, what happens? All them toys stay
189
00:11:57,820 --> 00:12:00,660
the old shelf, collect dust, right? Then
you can take a kid who's only got,
190
00:12:00,700 --> 00:12:04,660
like, this one beat -up teddy bear. The
ears are torn, the eyes are, like, down
191
00:12:04,660 --> 00:12:05,659
to here somewhere.
192
00:12:05,660 --> 00:12:08,760
Finger, please. Yeah, they just love
that teddy bear to bits.
193
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:12,420
Same thing with families. You got them,
you don't appreciate them. You don't got
194
00:12:12,420 --> 00:12:15,940
them, you spend your whole life hoping
somebody puts you on their lap and says,
195
00:12:15,980 --> 00:12:16,980
I love you.
196
00:12:17,940 --> 00:12:20,520
Oh, Fonz, that was beautiful.
197
00:12:21,720 --> 00:12:23,920
Danny Kaye couldn't have said it any
lovelier.
198
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,300
Where are you going?
199
00:12:26,700 --> 00:12:29,420
Oh, I have some last -minute shopping
that I have to do.
200
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,760
I have to pick up some gifts for this
older couple that I live with.
201
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:34,500
Hey, what about my packages?
202
00:12:35,100 --> 00:12:38,040
Oh, I really ought to pick out some of
my own, but thanks, Fonz.
203
00:12:55,560 --> 00:12:56,560
here with you.
204
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:01,860
Well, your government can rest assured
that she's a lovely girl, just like her
205
00:13:01,860 --> 00:13:02,860
mother.
206
00:13:03,320 --> 00:13:04,320
Howard.
207
00:13:05,580 --> 00:13:08,600
What are you doing? Well, you can't
start a fire that way. You don't have
208
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:12,520
kindling. Dick. Let me show you a little
trick. You just take a newspaper, roll
209
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:16,920
it like this, give it a twist, homemade
kindling. Dick. Here, let me show you.
210
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,620
There you go. Right like that.
211
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:23,540
How in the world do you ever get through
these Milwaukee winters without knowing
212
00:13:23,540 --> 00:13:24,540
things?
213
00:13:26,350 --> 00:13:27,350
Fast starter.
214
00:13:28,190 --> 00:13:29,990
Oh, sure. Take all the romance out of
it.
215
00:13:30,690 --> 00:13:31,690
Oh, Marion.
216
00:13:32,290 --> 00:13:33,290
Marion!
217
00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:36,630
He just burned my newspaper. I didn't
get to read my newspaper. I love to read
218
00:13:36,630 --> 00:13:37,509
my newspaper.
219
00:13:37,510 --> 00:13:41,510
Howard, I'm so proud of you. You didn't
lose your temper. I can't stand it
220
00:13:41,510 --> 00:13:44,410
anymore, I'm telling you. At least he's
only going to be here for one more day.
221
00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:45,650
No, two more days.
222
00:13:45,890 --> 00:13:50,250
Because you were getting along so well,
they decided to stay an extra day. Oh,
223
00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:52,870
look, Howard. The football game starts
in ten minutes.
224
00:13:53,440 --> 00:13:56,000
What do you say we watch the Colts walk
all over the Packers, huh?
225
00:13:58,680 --> 00:13:59,980
Are you kidding me?
226
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:05,100
The Packers are the world's champions.
Horny, star, fuzzy, thirst, and they're
227
00:14:05,100 --> 00:14:07,100
invincible. The Packers are a flash in
the pan.
228
00:14:07,340 --> 00:14:11,040
Only emotional people think Green Bay is
building up some kind of dynasty.
229
00:14:11,660 --> 00:14:14,180
But then you always approach sports
emotionally.
230
00:14:14,660 --> 00:14:19,880
Like when you thought that DiMaggio was
a better ball player than... Dick,
231
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,380
please. Let's not start with DiMaggio.
232
00:14:23,079 --> 00:14:25,880
No, Howard, I think an important point
should be made here.
233
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,340
The thinking man knows that Ted Williams
is a better ball player.
234
00:14:30,540 --> 00:14:36,000
Joe DiMaggio got hits in 56 consecutive
games and was the greatest ball player
235
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,240
ever to wear a uniform.
236
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:41,060
Well, what about Ted Williams' lifetime
average of .344? You think you know
237
00:14:41,060 --> 00:14:43,040
everything, don't you? Well, you don't.
You're wrong.
238
00:14:43,260 --> 00:14:47,020
Not only was DiMaggio a better ball
player than Ted Williams, he's a better
239
00:14:47,020 --> 00:14:48,020
fisherman.
240
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,880
And another thing, if Ted Williams...
Williams is so great. How come he didn't
241
00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:52,880
marry Marilyn Monroe?
242
00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:57,240
Howard, how could you? You're yelling at
Dick. Oh, brilliant observation,
243
00:14:57,580 --> 00:14:59,740
Marion, but he deserves it. You know
why? Because he's wrong.
244
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:02,620
You hear that? You're wrong. You're
wrong, you're wrong, you're wrong.
245
00:15:02,860 --> 00:15:06,480
No, Howard, you're wrong. Boys, boys,
you're acting like children.
246
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:09,520
You're right, Marion, this is silly.
We're adults and we should act like two
247
00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:11,440
grown men. Come on, you, step outside.
248
00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:12,599
My pleasure.
249
00:15:12,600 --> 00:15:13,600
No!
250
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:29,910
ICO out.
251
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:11,440
spirit coming out of every pore in the
wall.
252
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:15,740
And you got two abdominal snowmen out
there, rolling around in a manger.
253
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,240
Mr. Steve, please, get up.
254
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:29,000
It's all right. Go back on to caroling.
255
00:16:29,740 --> 00:16:32,120
I hope you're happy, Dick.
256
00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,880
Well, he started it. He deserved it.
257
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:37,920
Where is that candy cane? All right,
hold the phone. Hold the phone. I can't
258
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,060
believe it. Two grown men arguing over
whether Damasio is better than Williams.
259
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,880
Everybody knows it was Willie May.
260
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:46,320
All right, now tell me.
261
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:48,000
What is this all about, huh?
262
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,320
Uh -huh.
263
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:53,340
You know, gentlemen, you know what this
is like? This is like when you've got a
264
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:57,880
band -aid on your leg and you can pull
it off very slowly, huh? It hurts all
265
00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:59,720
way. Or you can just kind of rip it off,
you know?
266
00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:04,240
Gentlemen, I think it's time to lose
some hairs.
267
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:08,369
Fonzie has a strange way of expressing
himself.
268
00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:10,869
But he is absolutely right.
269
00:17:11,109 --> 00:17:15,010
I can no longer stand you telling me
what to do.
270
00:17:15,290 --> 00:17:19,490
I don't understand. When we were kids,
you used to ask for my advice all the
271
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:22,130
time. We're not kids anymore. I'm a
mature man.
272
00:17:22,530 --> 00:17:24,010
I provide for my family.
273
00:17:24,290 --> 00:17:27,990
And it may surprise you to know that for
15 years, I've been perfectly capable
274
00:17:27,990 --> 00:17:29,170
of lighting a fire.
275
00:17:29,650 --> 00:17:34,130
Well, it never meant any harm, Howard.
All I ever wanted to do was help.
276
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,600
But you didn't.
277
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,040
All you made me do was resent you.
278
00:17:38,700 --> 00:17:39,860
You drove us apart.
279
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:45,580
We used to have so much fun as kids
together.
280
00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:51,700
Hey, you remember that summer that we
went skinny dipping in the pond and the
281
00:17:51,700 --> 00:17:53,320
kids stole our clothes? Yeah.
282
00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:55,620
We both had to come home wearing a
barrel.
283
00:17:57,460 --> 00:17:58,460
Couldn't do that now.
284
00:17:58,700 --> 00:17:59,700
No.
285
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:03,700
Oh, Dick, I missed you. I miss you too,
Howard.
286
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:05,170
Thank you.
287
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:37,020
What's this over there? This one is for
your mother. Merry Christmas.
288
00:18:37,420 --> 00:18:38,420
Oh, thank you.
289
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,780
Santa brought me everything I wanted,
Mommy.
290
00:18:43,140 --> 00:18:45,060
So, where's Grandma and Grandpa?
291
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:46,560
Behind the tree?
292
00:18:47,140 --> 00:18:49,700
Uh, sweetheart, your grandparents aren't
coming over.
293
00:18:49,980 --> 00:18:53,420
But that's the Christmas present I
really wanted.
294
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,100
Maybe your mother could make a call.
295
00:18:57,580 --> 00:19:00,260
Fonzie, your grandparents know where we
live. They want to make up.
296
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:07,420
Let's open our presents here, Heather.
297
00:19:08,360 --> 00:19:10,380
This is so much fun, isn't it?
298
00:19:11,060 --> 00:19:13,840
This is the best Christmas I ever had.
299
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,220
Yeah.
300
00:19:20,900 --> 00:19:21,900
Okay.
301
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:23,640
All right, I will call.
302
00:19:25,020 --> 00:19:27,020
And I will wish them a very Merry
Christmas.
303
00:19:27,420 --> 00:19:28,700
But I don't make any promises.
304
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,420
especially around the holiday seasons.
305
00:20:30,940 --> 00:20:33,600
Oh, Heather is just beautiful.
306
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,140
Oh, I know you're going to love meeting
her.
307
00:20:36,500 --> 00:20:39,340
Yes. Oh, and I met this wonderful man.
308
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,640
Yeah, oh, you're going to love him, too.
309
00:20:43,740 --> 00:20:45,920
Oh, okay.
310
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:47,500
Okay, I will.
311
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,400
Oh, we should get together very soon.
312
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:57,440
That I wish them a very Merry Christmas.
313
00:20:58,860 --> 00:21:00,660
And that we miss them very much.
314
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,100
See that, sweetie? That wasn't so hard.
315
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,300
That was the housekeeper.
316
00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:17,020
My parents are off vacationing in the
Bahamas.
317
00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,400
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
318
00:21:21,780 --> 00:21:24,040
Maybe I'll try again sometime.
319
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:26,160
Who knows?
320
00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:28,200
Maybe we can patch things up.
321
00:21:30,780 --> 00:21:31,780
Thanks, Mommy.
322
00:21:31,980 --> 00:21:35,000
That's the best Christmas present I ever
had.
323
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:40,640
Yeah, I have to say ditto, you know. I'm
very proud of you. I mean, that was the
324
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,480
first step, wasn't it? That was great.
Come here for a minute.
325
00:21:44,100 --> 00:21:45,100
Wait. Yeah.
326
00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:49,640
I've got some mistletoe. Wait, wait,
wait, wait.
327
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,940
I've got some mistletoe, too.
328
00:22:03,150 --> 00:22:04,930
get a drink in this place. What's a guy
got to do?
329
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:05,949
Be a woman.
330
00:22:05,950 --> 00:22:06,849
Sure to that?
331
00:22:06,850 --> 00:22:07,850
See you, woman.
332
00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:11,710
Observe. Hey, isn't that Anna
Kournikova?
333
00:22:14,390 --> 00:22:17,950
I do the same thing with my dog and a
tennis ball. Always thinking, though you
334
00:22:17,950 --> 00:22:19,330
don't have to. Wouldn't hurt, huh?
335
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:27,430
The John Henson Project, Sunday at 10,
only on Spike TV.
336
00:22:32,140 --> 00:22:35,280
Where is it written that a big car has
to be boring?
337
00:22:37,220 --> 00:22:39,680
That only the rich get to feel safe?
338
00:22:42,220 --> 00:22:45,800
Where is it written that luxury is only
for the few?
339
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,500
If it is written somewhere, we couldn't
find it.
340
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,520
Introducing the Kia Amante.
341
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:02,260
Defy even your own expectations.
342
00:23:02,580 --> 00:23:09,260
With age -defying all -day lifting
foundation, see 30 % fewer lines in just
343
00:23:09,260 --> 00:23:12,960
weeks. Only Revlon makes it. Only you
make it unforgettable.
344
00:23:14,500 --> 00:23:18,580
In Los Angeles, Internet users are
taking the Net Zero High Speed
345
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:23,140
Two computers connected to the Internet
through ordinary phone jacks. One using
346
00:23:23,140 --> 00:23:26,280
standard dial -up, the other Net Zero
High Speed dial -up.
347
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,780
Net zero high speed is much better. You
can surf the web up to five times faster
348
00:23:30,780 --> 00:23:32,460
for only $14 .95 a month.
349
00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,700
Well, I think it's cool that it's
cheaper and faster. I mean, what more
350
00:23:35,700 --> 00:23:40,460
you ask for? Net zero high speed now
includes pop -up blocker. Net zero and
351
00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:44,140
zero high speed, both available now at
netzero .com.
352
00:23:45,140 --> 00:23:46,300
Can I cut in?
353
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,600
Sure. You look just like my third
husband.
354
00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:51,720
You look like a 1010987 user.
355
00:24:04,059 --> 00:24:05,059
No sweat.
356
00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:11,000
I can't believe it's three cents a
minute.
357
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,880
We're going to keep dancing until you
believe it.
358
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:19,760
From the depths of space, comes the DVD
collection that's out of this world.
359
00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:21,080
Danger! William Robinson.
360
00:24:21,320 --> 00:24:22,320
Holy cow!
361
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,960
All 29 episodes, plus the unaired pilot.
362
00:24:25,260 --> 00:24:26,179
Oh, the pain.
363
00:24:26,180 --> 00:24:27,019
The pain.
364
00:24:27,020 --> 00:24:29,760
Lost in Space, Season 1, only available
on DVD.
365
00:24:30,620 --> 00:24:31,620
I called.
366
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,640
So did I.
367
00:24:32,980 --> 00:24:37,320
I called, too. All these people called
to learn more about Prescription
368
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:39,060
and the free special handling program.
369
00:24:39,580 --> 00:24:42,520
If you have mild or moderate eczema and
you and your doctor find other
370
00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:46,140
treatments don't work for you, there's
concern about their risks, or you simply
371
00:24:46,140 --> 00:24:48,920
can't tolerate them, there's steroid
-free Eladel.
372
00:24:49,340 --> 00:24:53,380
You can use Eladel for repeated courses
as directed by your doctor, and Eladel
373
00:24:53,380 --> 00:24:56,200
can be used anywhere on your skin, even
on children as young as two.
374
00:24:56,670 --> 00:25:00,070
There is no cure for eczema, but Eladel
can help relieve the symptoms.
375
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:03,450
The most common side effects were a
feeling of warmth or burning were
376
00:25:03,750 --> 00:25:07,070
headache, cold symptoms such as sore
throat and cough, and rarely viral skin
377
00:25:07,070 --> 00:25:10,870
infections. You should also avoid
unprotected exposure to the sun and sun
378
00:25:11,050 --> 00:25:17,310
So call 1 -866 -433 -4700 to receive
your free kit with important information
379
00:25:17,310 --> 00:25:21,670
eczema. And get $5 off a prescription if
your doctor decides steroid -free
380
00:25:21,670 --> 00:25:25,450
Eladel is right for you. Call now to get
your free special handling kit.
381
00:25:25,850 --> 00:25:26,850
Make the call today.
382
00:25:30,450 --> 00:25:34,410
You're watching TV Land, where weekday
mornings are twice a night.
383
00:25:38,730 --> 00:25:41,410
So did Little Richard like his presents?
384
00:25:41,830 --> 00:25:45,570
Oh, Little Richard just loves his
presents.
385
00:25:46,970 --> 00:25:48,770
Hi, Rich. How are you?
386
00:25:48,990 --> 00:25:50,710
Oh, fine. Everything's just great.
387
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:54,070
Yeah, yeah, Joanie called. She and
Chachi are just doing fine.
388
00:25:54,290 --> 00:25:56,790
And Raj and Flip, they flew home for
Christmas.
389
00:25:57,930 --> 00:26:01,490
Yeah, he's here. Yeah, okay, hold on.
I'll talk to you.
390
00:26:03,450 --> 00:26:04,670
Yo, ho, ho, Richie.
391
00:26:05,130 --> 00:26:06,150
How you doing, huh?
392
00:26:06,750 --> 00:26:07,930
Yeah, of course we miss you.
393
00:26:08,390 --> 00:26:10,130
Hey, listen, I want you to meet
somebody, all right?
394
00:26:10,390 --> 00:26:11,209
Say hi.
395
00:26:11,210 --> 00:26:13,730
Hi. Hi. Don't they sound gorgeous?
396
00:26:14,730 --> 00:26:16,550
Oh, yeah. I'll tell you what. I'll take
some of that.
397
00:26:17,390 --> 00:26:18,390
What?
398
00:26:18,950 --> 00:26:20,090
We got a bad connection here?
399
00:26:21,290 --> 00:26:22,850
He wants us to sing.
400
00:26:23,090 --> 00:26:27,330
Oh, Richard just loves Mitch Miller. All
right, come on. We're all going to the
401
00:26:27,330 --> 00:26:29,550
piano now. We're over at the piano now.
402
00:26:31,010 --> 00:26:32,650
What? Get around.
403
00:26:32,910 --> 00:26:33,910
Fa la la la la.
404
00:26:34,170 --> 00:26:35,310
Fa la la la la.
405
00:26:35,530 --> 00:26:37,170
All right, you want it? You got it.
406
00:27:21,870 --> 00:27:23,430
go right. It can't be wrong.
407
00:27:23,710 --> 00:27:27,910
Stay tuned for another episode of Happy
Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice. It's
408
00:27:27,910 --> 00:27:31,950
not going to be nice. It's going to be
wild. No, Patsy. It's going to be nice.
409
00:27:32,110 --> 00:27:33,110
Twice as nice.
33846
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.