Original subtitles

Monday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, but I go home. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy, happy days.

These days are ours.

Tell them to me. Oh, baby. Oh, black, gray sky, yellow, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

So right.

It can't be wrong. Running and rolling.

Sunday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days. Thursday, Friday, happy days. Saturday,

day. Groovin' all week with you.

Isn't that the greatest thing you ever saw, Marion?

Four dollars for this contraption?

Four dollars is not a lot of money, Marion.

Our marriage license cost three dollars and you wanted to drive to Mexico.

But look at the way the ball comes back, sweetheart.

Watch this one. This one is a downhill bump.

driver's training.

A D?

There's nothing to it. It's simple.

Gas, go, brake, stop.

Not so simple, Mr. C.

She was on gas, go, and she drove straight through the groundbreaking

for the new cafeteria.

Oh, gosh, you should have seen the mayor. He flew straight through the

beef just like a meat thermometer.

Oh, Howard, everything will be all right. You taught Richie and Joanie how

drive, and you can teach Casey how to drive.

When ducks... swear loafers, Marion.

I am finished teaching teenagers how to drive.

Well, then I guess Casey won't be getting that very large discount that

insurance companies do give to those students who do pass the course.

Oh, Casey!

You gotta get them where they live, Mrs. Dean.

She's gonna make some man a lovely wife.

She's still in Chicago. She's got some classes.

Oh. Well, what are you doing here, dear?

I don't know. I got this phone call from Fonzie telling me to drop everything

and fly down here. Some kind of emergency or something.

What is it?

94 minutes took you, right? You stopped for ice cream and soda. One, I admit it.

But what's the problem, Fonzie? Everybody okay?

Everybody's fine. Mr. C, Chachi and I must talk.

Oh. I understand. A little family business.

That's all right. There have been lots of conversations that you haven't been

invited to.

How many?

I'll tell you something. I still feel like I'm driving.

Yeah. All right, what's the emergency?

Here it is.

You and Jody still getting along?

Yeah. Thank you very much.

That's it? Yeah. You did good. Thanks.

Wait a minute.

I leave Al hanging up in Chicago.

I drive down here like a maniac. I'm busting all the way to go to the

just so you can ask me one lousy question.

All right, this is it. What?

I wanted to know if a man with my blood in him could be content being a one

-woman man, you know? I mean, you run out of things to say. Oh, this is about

you and Ashley.

Getting pretty serious there.

We're getting serious.

Fonzie and Ashley sitting in a tree.

I'm getting a little serious, you know, and, uh...

I know that you know her. You like her? Yeah, I like her.

Wait a minute. Since when do you care what other people think? I don't care.

On this one, I do care.

Well, why stop with me?

Why not throw a party and buy all your friends down and have them give their

opinion of her? Eight o 'clock.

And be there.

Rog! Oh, hey, Fon. What a diverse group of people. I haven't seen anything like

this since, uh, since the Yale Glee Club visited Attica.

You sent me the album.

It's okay, it's not

bad.

I hope Animal wasn't offended, but I started to feel a little bit faint when

put those magnets to his forehead.

Magnets to his forehead? I've got to see this.

It's going to be okay. Look. Here's Sally. Here's Barbara.

Burton. Fun.

And Buffy and Rocky Barofi. We can start the party now. We

are invisible.

Invincible.

The man's a genius.

Bones, we would have been here a lot sooner, but we had a big fight over what

bring you. Are we talking friends here or what? What to bring? You didn't bring

me anything.

What did you bring?

Lovely. You are, you are lovely.

This is Ashley, sister, who I am very involved with.

Oh. Involved.

Well, I know. They can duke it out over you. Everybody!

Unless, of course, you want to.

No fight.

Oh, she is a mother.

You could have taken her, you know.

Hey, folks, we got two kids now. Want to see some pictures? Oh, yeah.

Oh, they're adorable.

He looks like you.

These are the old ones, though. Show them the new ones, Rocco.

Okay,

listen, I want you two girls to conversate. I want you to conversate,

I got a little talking, all right?

I'll see you later.

What do you think?

I mean, squawking personality, huh?

Oh, who cares?

She's got a great body.

Grandma.

Grandma Nussbaum. Yes, he's sweet. Thanks for being here.

Hey, thanks a lot for bringing him.

That's a nice boy.

He faced our hands on the bone and he got his hair cut.

Fonz, this is a great party, so I got to get going, right? No, no, no. What are

you talking about?

Hang around, grab some food, stay away from the room. Mark, because I left out

the chestnuts.

Fonz, Johnny's worried about me back in Chicago. I was supposed to be home a

little while ago. No, I'm telling you, I insist.

Fonz, I owe Animal money. I got you. Okay, listen, give my best to Johnny.

Grandma.

Give me a grandma.

Ashley. This is Ashley Pfister. This is Grandma Nussbaum. How do you do? No

swearing. Yes, to me, too.

Are we talking about the Pfisters who own Milwaukee?

Yes, but I'm afraid I was disowned.

Really? What did you do?

I married someone my family didn't approve of. Me, too. Four times.

She is a great woman, a good mom, great accountant.

Wears a seatbelt.

Nice work, Skippy.

Skippy? You didn't hear that.

Hey, Mr. and Mrs. Bond, can I get you something to drink?

Oh, uh, could I have just a small glass of very dry sherry? Oh, I think we only

have beer.

It's better.

I'll be right back, Skippy.

You know I love it when you're having fun.

What do you think?

Skippy, I think she's the nicest girl you ever brought to me.

Grandma, she's the only girl I ever brought to you.

You know, I want to ask her a very important question tonight.

I just don't know how to say it, you know?

I know.

So say it with this.

Your grandpa Pantarelli gave it to me.

Everybody say it. Yeah?

All right.

Love last forever.

I guess if you're going to give me this, then you really like her, huh? Oh, I

really do.

You hold on to it, Skippy dear. I think Ashley is a very, very sweet girl.

And what a body.

I'm going to ask her to go study tonight.

I never thought those words would come out of my mouth.

Whoa.

Did I pass?

You passed what?

A test.

Why don't you sit down here for a minute?

Here, come on. Come on.

Hey.

Hey. We'll both sit down.

I think we should stand up.

What is it?

Ashley, when I first met you, I was overtaken, you know?

It was like I found this beautiful painting at the supermarket, you know,

didn't know how you would look in my house. So what did I do?

I hung it up.

You got a blanket on the wall here.

So I hung it up, and I straightened it out, and it lit up my room

like a blowtorch.

Are you getting my drift?

Yeah, you think of me as being somewhere between a Da Vinci painting and a

Schlitz beer sign.

I think you better sit down again.

I like you.

You like me, right?

So I think that maybe we shouldn't see anybody else except for us.

In other words, I believe that we should go... That

we should go steady.

Go steady? Yeah.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Fonzie. I mean, do you know what's involved with going

steady? I mean, have you ever gone steady before?

No.

I know that you date me, I date you, and as songs on the radio become much more

meaningful.

You leave me no choice?

I would love to.

Yeah?

But go in steady.

Well,

should we shake hands, or do you want to punch me in the arm?

I got something.

I got something.

Come around.

This is a genuine halloween.

Oh, Fonzie.

It is the real thing. I promise, guaranteed not to make your neck green.

Fonzie. Yeah?

I love you.

I love you, too.

The 2004 TV Land Awards are coming. But first, go behind the scenes of last

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Here we go.

Backstage excitement.

Incredible to see all those people.

Mary Tyler Moore and Dick Van Dyke. Don Knotts. And shocking revelations.

I really wanted to be a partridge. Get inside last year's TV Land Awards with

your all -access pass, a half -hour special, Wednesday, January 28th at 10 p

.m., followed by an encore presentation of the 2003 TV Land Awards show.

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Start something good with Crisco.

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Okay, Cassie.

You got it? Yeah.

Start the motor.

Keep your foot on the brake and put your gear shift in the drive position.

Now, gently take your foot off the brake and put it on the accelerator.

That's the one on the right.

Now, ease it off gently and give it a little gas.

Okay.

Okay, now.

Okay, see, that's it for today.

Everybody okay?

No problem.

Hey,

it'd be cheaper to get her a chauffeur.

All right, back to work.

Bye -bye, Sherry Pie.

Dave, I love your face.

Who is this?

Yo, come on in.

Oh, the petulant.

Fonzie. Paula.

Long time no see.

Oh, Fonzie.

I didn't know where else to turn to.

Well, you did right, sweetheart.

Come here, sit down. In times of disaster, I'm like the Red Cross.

No moods bothering you? I'll get you a donut.

Okay. Well, I really don't know where to start.

At the beginning.

Well, everything was going great. I had this neat job as an usher at the Fox

Theater. Yeah, you were always a film buff.

Yeah.

I started dating Phil Fox, my boss. Yeah? And pretty soon, me and Fudgie.

Fudgie's my cat.

Hi, Fudgie. We moved in with him.

Hey, very cozy.

It was.

Until today.

When Fudgie and I came home from the vet, we caught him with another woman.

Whoa. It was his wife.

The nerve.

And that's not all. What else could there be?

Oh, fun. Yeah.

He left me with an unwanted pregnancy.

I don't believe my ears.

Poor Fudgie's due in four weeks.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry, Fonz. We have no place to go.

Oh, Fonz.

What's going to happen to us? Okay, okay.

Listen, you've got to sort things out, right? Yeah. Now, I'm kind of going

steady with somebody, but you could certainly spend the night here.

I could?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, gee, Fonz.

You've got a big heart.

Mi casa is my house.

Look, Mommy.

Fonz plays huggy face with other...

I'm so glad you came. Hey, Ashley Pfister.

Ashley Pfister. And this little one here is Heather, her daughter. Hiya,

sweetheart.

The big one is the one I'm going steady with.

This is Paula Petralunga.

How do you do, Miss Petralunga?

Yeah, you would not believe what happened to this poor girl. No?

Try me.

Well, I'll explain that to you on the way to the movies, okay?

Now, you, don't wait up for me, all right? Because we're going to go see

White and the Three Stooges. You're going to love it.

I'm going to walk the bike.

Mommy, why don't you dress like that?

Because I have taste.

Budgie, I think this is going to work out just fine.

Ashley, I don't know what you're so upset about.

There's a woman living in your house. There is a woman living in my house, but

thought we went over that. We did.

Good night, Fonzie.

Now, wait a minute, Ashley.

Come on, let's not get crazy here, all right?

Paula Petrolunga is a very good friend of mine and her cat is pregnant.

Well, how would you feel if you walked in here and saw my ex -husband hanging

all over me and then found out he was spending the night?

All right, good question, good question. I would kill him. All right.

Now, you know how I feel. Now, I expect the same commitment from you as you

expect from me. Hold it. Time out.

We're not talking commitment here. We're talking friendship, helping a friend.

I respect that, Fonzie, but I thought we were going together.

Of course. The next time I see a guy drowning, I'll just say, Hey, Jocko, I'm

real sorry, but I'm dating Ashley. Can't help.

Fonzie, this is different. Paula is an old girlfriend, and if she needs a place

to stay, I expect you to put her up at a motel or at Rogers.

Of course.

Of course. The cuckoo's out of the clock.

You don't trust me, do you?

It's women like Paula Petralunga that I don't trust. Look.

Fonzie, I just don't think you understand what's involved with having a

relationship with one woman. I know. I've had thousands of them, and not one

them was based on mistrust. You understand?

So, if this is what study is all about, I do not want any part of it. Thank you.

Oh.

Oh, that's just fine.

If that's how you feel, maybe you'd like to have this back.

What, do you think this upsets me? Hey, this is one size fits all.

Aren't you?

Auntie?

Oh, yeah, hey, listen, go back to sleep, Paul. It's okay.

I'll just set myself up.

Oh, but there's plenty of room right here.

You know, I found out that sleeping on the table makes it so much easier to

breakfast in bed.

Hans? Yeah? I didn't get you in trouble with your girl, did I?

You're so weird.

You think you know somebody, you think you know everything about them, and

bam, they pull the plug.

They pulled a rug right out in front of your eyes.

Hey, you know what would make us both feel real great right now, Fonz? No,

If we climbed on your bike and rode up to Lake Mendado.

True? Yeah.

I mean, the wind blowing in your face.

Yeah, nobody else around?

Just the two of us.

No commitment?

No responsibilities?

No one to worry about.

No one cramping your style.

No one to share things with.

No one to tell you to take out the garbage.

Nobody to care for, nobody to love.

Paula? Yeah? Get off the bike.

I'm going to do something I should have done when you first got here.

Now you're talking.

Hotel time.

Oh, how romantic fun.

I'll register, and then you can sneak in.

You register. I'm going to Ashley's and patch things up.

But Fonzie, you're making a big mistake.

I'm going to correct one if I'm not too late.

Ashley, I'm telling you, you've got to let me in. This is a matter of life and

death. I doubt that.

Ashley, there is an old lady out here holding a shotgun on me.

Oh, it's all right, Mrs. Dickerson. He may look like a hood, but he's only a

jerk.

Good night. Sleep well.

I hope I'm not interrupting scrimmage or something like that.

Did you wake me up in the middle of the night to discuss sports?

Ashley, as a matter of fact, that is exactly why I woke you up.

I have learned something.

I have never been one for, you know, team sports.

I was always concerned about myself and what I was going to score in that, you

know?

So what I learned was...

But you have to think about the team, or we don't win.

Oh, I'm sounding like Roger now.

Hold it.

Making a lot of sense.

Fonzie.

I don't mean to clip your wings, and I didn't mean for you to not help your

friends.

And I'm sorry if I went overboard, but it's only because I care about you so

much.

See, I learned about going steady. I mean, it's like in the movies, you know?

It's not a horse, a guy, and a gal riding off into the sunset. It's all

them doing a lot of work together, you know?

I'm a quick study. I could learn fast.

Fonzie?

Can we kiss and make up?

Some time now, you've heard me use the term Medicare participating provider.

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Most drugstores will file Medicare forms, but that doesn't make them a

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They decide what they're going to charge, and you know you may wind up

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Now, what if there's not a Medicare participating provider in your area?

Well, Medicare suggests that you use a mail order provider like Liberty.

With Liberty, you pay nothing up front. Your supplies are delivered right to

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Now that you know the difference, there's no question who you should call.

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What's the good word?

Did Casey pass her driving test?

I don't know. She and Marion haven't gotten back yet, and I'm beginning to

nervous. Well, if it makes you feel any better, I haven't heard a siren for at

least an hour.

Penny, have you ever considered taking up social work?

Stay tuned for the Brady Bunch. In one scene of tonight's episode, a

temperamental actor wouldn't take direction and had to be fastened to the

No, no, no, not Bobby.

It's Tiger, the dog.

Episode number five is coming up next on TV Land.