Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

I've been free.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye gray sky, yellow blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

You're so right, you can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Monday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

Happy days are yours to buy. These happy days are yours and mine. Happy days.

That's great. We're finished. That's the last number. Will you hold it?

What about when they get hysterical and beg for more?

They never have.

Did you look in the eyes of that last crowd, huh?

They were thinking it.

But we can't think small anymore.

We gotta go out there, and we gotta pretend that it's Madison Square Garden,

know?

Close your eyes.

Uh -uh.

I know what you do when I close my eyes. I said I'd never do that again,

remember? Promise? I do.

Okay. Got them closed?

Okay. Here we go.

Well...

All right, all right, no more fooling around. All right, okay. All right,

those baby blues. Here we are. Can you see it?

Madison Square Garden.

10 ,000 people.

Five bucks a head.

That's, uh... $50 ,000.

Right.

$50 ,000.

Oh,

but don't forget we got to pay the band.

And there's traveling expenses.

And, of course, bodyguards for me.

It sure smells sweet when the wind comes right behind the rain.

Thank you both for that nothing. Wait till you hear Suri with the fringe on

This is going to be the best musical that our little theater has ever done.

Mom, you do Oklahoma every year.

Yes, but this year we're using live chickens.

Oh, that's okay. I think you're young enough.

Howard Pottsy's here. I'm all ready.

I am so proud of her.

She's worked her way up from tumbleweed.

Boy, I can't wait till I get my spots.

Oh, you've got to become a leopard cub first, Pottsy.

If you don't get blackballed at the meeting tonight, then tomorrow night

get your initiation. And I gotta tell you, it's not easy.

Now, wait, wait.

They're not going to do these crazy things like they do in fraternities.

Potsy, Potsy, Potsy.

The Leopards are a community service organization.

We don't do silly things like that.

We blindfold you, take away your clothes, and leave you out in the woods.

No way.

No blindfold.

Night, kids.

Night. Night, Dad.

Look, Chach, if you're that sure that we're going to get an encore, there's a

million songs we can do.

Uh, Twist and Shout, Sweet Little Sixteen.

I got a better idea.

Oh, man, this is the best idea I've ever had. Tell me.

We'll write our own song.

But I don't know how to write songs.

How hard can it be? It's only going to be a few minutes long, right?

Right, we'll write it on the way to Arnold. That's a good idea.

Breaking Bad, then you're gonna be in trouble.

Where'd you guys go tonight, Fonz?

Fonz, where'd you go tonight?

Rod, where'd you go tonight?

Uh, Sophia Loren movie.

You like her, huh, Al? I could take her and leave her.

Next show starts in 15 minutes. I think I'm going to take her.

I thought the ending to the film was rather enigmatic, didn't you?

Oh, Fonzie.

Say it again.

I love it.

Buongiorno.

With my name. Say it with my name.

Buongiorno, Roxy.

Oh, fine.

How do you do that?

So, Alice, I've been reading this very interesting book about a boy raised by

wolves. Okay, Roger. Thanks very much.

So, anyway, this poor boy is raised only by wolves until they find

him. And then they rehabilitate him. And, well, now he works for the

squad.

Sniffing luggage at the airport.

I just remembered I forgot to turn my water off.

Oh, don't get up. I live nearby.

Thank you for the memorable evening.

Should have started the wolf boy story sooner.

Time turned around.

A feeling lost is found.

What do you think?

Oh, my music is great.

But I'm not too sure about your lyrics.

Oh, really?

Can we try my lyrics now?

You make me shout.

You make me shout. You make me shout.

you rhyme shout with shout.

Well, what else are you going to get to rhyme with shout?

How about get out? How about get out?

Well, how is the song coming along? Yeah, we're having a ball.

How's Oklahoma doing?

Not so good.

Fire broke out backstage and got the chickens.

We won't be able to do the play tonight, but at least we'll have dinner.

No such luck.

We looked all through the woods, not a trace of him.

Well, what do you have here?

His clothes, in case we found him.

But don't worry about it, Marion. He'll find his way home.

You see, we gave him a compass.

Here it is.

Well, you'll have to go and find him and give it to him. Oh, Marion, it's so

cold out there. No, but if we don't find him, no telling when he'll come back.

That may take weeks.

dropped him off ten feet from a gas station.

You'd think he'd turn around.

George, you know, this song really isn't worth fighting over.

You know, I read somewhere that Rodgers and Hammerstein never wrote together.

One wrote the music, and the other wrote the lyrics, and then he put it

together.

Yeah, that's pretty good.

I'll write the lyrics.

I'll write the music.

I'll tell you what, I'll write the music. I like doing that anyway, okay?

No more fighting? No more fighting.

I'll see you later. Okay.

Bonds, I have to talk to you about my date last night.

She walked out on me in the middle of Arnold.

Everybody's staring at me. It was so humiliating.

Dan, see ya.

Hey, Bonds, what am I gonna do? I mean, what am I doing wrong?

I get plenty of dates. That's not the problem.

The problem is they never go anywhere. They never get exciting.

All right, all right, the doctor's in. All right, all right. I gotta hear about

your M .O.

M .O.? Motorship Arenda, named after the guy that invented it. Oh.

Now, just tell me, like, I want to hear the first few lines you give to these

girls when you meet them, all right? All right. Okay.

Well, Fonz, usually I like to start the evening off by saying that I find her

appearance quite pleasing to the eye.

And then, of course, I'll ask her what her plans are for the future.

And then I segue right into one of my wolf boy stories.

Fonz.

Fonz? Boring.

Very, very boring, Roger.

You've got to be short, sweet, to the point. You've got to say, hey, baby, if

told you you've got a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

How many do they love with? How many do they love with? I don't know, Fonz. I

don't think that'd work for me.

Does anything work for you? No. So good. Come on.

Hey, what happened to Chachi? His lip's cramped.

He went home to work on our song.

Oh, yeah? What's up?

All right, all right. We're going to try a little experiment, all right?

I would like you to allow Roger to ask you out.

Hans, he's my cousin. Use your imagination.

Ah, the imagination.

That's what separates us from lower forms of life. That and the thumb.

Did you know that no other animal other than primates have thumbs?

I guess that's why we never see them bowling.

Now, can we get on with it, please?

Her name is Sheila. You've seen her across the room all evening.

You're going to make your move.

Your way. Go ahead.

Hi, Sheila.

Listen, there's a really fine film opening up at the Bijou Theater Saturday

night, and I thought if you didn't already have plans, maybe you'd like to

accompany me, and we could, uh... All right, hold it right there.

Hold it right there.

Would you go with him?

Yeah, I guess so. What kind of time would you have?

A nice time.

Imagine, when girls go out with you, they get nice.

For me, they get thrills, surprises, animal pleasures.

For you, they see a lawnmower, you know, kids, a station wagon.

I'm a Ferrari. Put a little more of a boom in it, will you?

Come on. I got it, Ponce. I hope so. I got it.

Sheila, baby, your clothes are driving me wild, and that's only because you're

in them.

That's better.

Did it, Ponce?

Ponce, did I overdo it? No, no, no. Unless I get a hernia here, right?

Now, look.

What are you standing so straight and tall for? You're going to get a posture

medal. Put a little lotion in your motion, huh? All right, all right.

Now, tomorrow night, the Falcons are having a bash. You make your debut right

there. I'm ready, Fonz.

All right, hold it. One thing.

Ferraris do not wear suits. You want to lose your suit. All right? You're right,

Fonz. Tomorrow night, the world is going to meet the new Roger Phillips.

Animal!

National TV here. Tune in for our 48 -hour marathon.

It's on at 10 .30.

Actually, it's on all weekend long. Well, forgive me for living. Two

days of unforgettable skin.

We're all here.

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Hi, guys.

Hey. Honey, I got that dessert you like. Oh, great.

Oh, and look what else I got.

Honey? Kids.

It's new natural citrus Listerine. It's less intense.

Sure. All right. Sounds good.

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Ah,

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Hey, fun!

I'm glad you could make this. I want to taste some. I love the outside of your

house. I mean, a very interesting use of barbed wire.

Oh, yeah, my wife's idea. She got it from a necklace.

Right. All right, look, this is my very good friend, Roger. Roger Phillips,

right here. How do you do, Mr. Roofie? Thank you for having me in your nice

home. This is for you.

It's an interesting little... It's an interesting little bottle of wine. It's

robust flavor.

It goes very well with... You really ought to let that breathe.

Never mind.

Not any more?

No, not a thing.

Some guest.

If you don't bring enough for everybody, don't bring.

That's $20.

Will you stop being so you'll get over there?

Get over there.

What are we here for?

I've got to be more uninhibited. I've got to unwind. That's right. Pick up the

sweater. That's first.

Loosen up here. Right.

Open that button. Come on. Right, right. I'm coming, I'm coming.

How's that? All right, all right, all right.

Something's wrong.

What? I don't know.

Shit, this is Hillary. Hillary, this is Rodney.

Hmm, I can show us that.

You've got a pretty good set of lips.

Did you ever spit for distance?

No, I don't spit.

Oh, yeah?

So what do you do with your gum?

Fonz, Fonz, I lost Hillary.

Congratulations, you're the first one in history.

What are you going to do? Are you going to curtsy?

Get rid of him.

Get rid of him.

Go out there and find somebody, huh?

Right. A little glide and slide.

Right. All right.

Hey,

Patrick, please.

What do you say we shake it up on the dance floor a little bit, huh?

Thanks, but I don't feel like it. Well, maybe you feel like this.

Excuse me, that's my wife you're kissing.

And a bottle of wine only gets you so much.

Your wife?

I knew that. You see, I thought she was drowning, but I'm a trained lifeguard.

I think I see one of my fraternity brothers over there. Better go flip from

grip. Why do you embarrass me in front of my friends? Didn't I wax before?

Didn't I buy you flowers?

Ron,

Ron, this isn't working out.

It was working out for me when you came along.

Bonds, I just kissed Rocky Brookie's wife by mistake.

That is the only way to kiss her.

Let me tell you something, Roger. A bottle of wine only gets you so far, you

know.

Get over here.

What?

We came here to meet single girls, right? Right. Okay. Turn around. Yeah.

Go find one.

Do what I taught you. Right. Get out there.

Would you hold it against me?

What?

If I told you you had a beautiful body, could I... If either of us had beautiful

bodies, would you hold either of them against me?

Okay, honey.

Who'd get too lonely without me, huh?

What is it, Al? What happened?

Oh, Fonty had me dressed this way so I'd be more exciting to women.

Does it work?

Does it work?

Al, watch.

Hey, Beverly, my lips are getting very, very lonely.

And on this time, it was my sleeves holding me down.

Skip dinner, skip the movie, and skip on over to my place, huh?

Okay. Really? You go with me just like that?

Sure. Why not?

Why not?

Because you don't even know who I am.

Sure I do.

You're a robber.

Roger.

Close enough.

Look, I could be a maniac or something. I could be some crazed, love -starved

sicko, you know.

You should be more careful.

You know, you sound... just like my mother. Yeah, well, mothers know things.

Uh, look, Ronald.

Robert, uh, Roger.

I don't understand.

I mean, like, what are you, some sort of cub scout or something?

Well, yeah, actually, I, well... Right.

Look, Beverly, you've really flattered me by all this, but, uh, I don't think

this is gonna work out.

Okay, bub.

It's your loss.

Take it, Ronald.

That's Rodney.

Did you tell her about the wolf boy? I didn't even get to it.

Look, I don't know. I guess this lifestyle just isn't for me. I mean,

it. I'm not a love him and leave him kind of guy.

I'm not even a love him kind of guy sometimes.

You are who you are. Oh, sure. Insult me.

That is not an insult.

That's the truth.

You're the kind of guy, you meet a girl, you talk, you ask her out, you fall in

love, then you kiss her.

I, of course, take a more scenic route, but we still get there, eh?

Hey, Fudge, lock out for me, will you?

I'm going out cruising.

You gotta know what kind of guy you are.

You also have to know what kind of girl you want to go out with.

I gotta find Beverly.

I thought she wasn't your type. She's not.

I think she took my wallet.

What a creep.

Who you calling a creep? Who you calling a creep?

I'm not a creep.

I agree with Jan. She's not a creep.

Thank you.

You're a super creep.

People call me a creep all the time and it doesn't bother me a bit.

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Wetting the bed, I'd really like to stop that. If one of my friends came over

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They helped me be more confident in myself.

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They got all excited.

She started talking about the baby's room.

And he said, what baby?

Next thing you know, They own a house.

They brought in pictures of the baby's room and asked me what color to paint

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You're watching TV Land, where weekday mornings are twice as nice.

Time turned around.

The child in me is found.

I'm alive again.

What's old is new.

It's worth the pain that I've been through. Time turned around. The

child in me is found.

Time turned around.

Since I met you.

I'm seeing colors where they once were none.

The world seems so much brighter with my tie undone.

Years of disbelief in things that might be true since I met

you.

And time's turned around.

The child in me.

It's worth the pain.

Goodbye, great guy. Hello, boo.

Someone can hold me when I hold you. It can't go right. It can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

These days are ours.

Happy and free.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Stay tuned for another episode of Happy Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice.

It's not going to be nice.

It's going to be wild. No, Potsy. It's going to be nice. Twice as nice.