Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy, free.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Tell them with me.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

All right, you can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

These happy days are yours and mine. Happy days.

Let's go surfing now.

Everybody's learning how. Come on a safari with me.

Come on a safari with me.

There you go, Pat.

Pal, these are waffles.

I know they're waffles. I'm not new at this business, you know. I ordered a

cheeseburger. Oh, no.

I'm sorry, Ponce. I got a lot of things on my mind. The mind?

Hey, that's my area, Al. Psychology.

Hey, listen, what's your problem, huh?

Oedipus complex?

Delusions of grandeur?

Sexual tension?

No, no, no. None of that stuff.

I'm just trying to find out what I should get Fonzie for his birthday, you

What was that last thing you said?

No, never mind. Never mind.

I don't know what to get Fonzie, either.

I gotta think of a clever way to make him tell me what he wants for his

birthday, you know?

You gonna eat those?

I don't think so. Oh, fine.

Now I gotta wait for someone else to order.

Hi,

Popsie. Hi, Cynthia.

Have you seen Fonzie? Many times.

I meant today.

Oh, no, not today.

Well, if you see him, would you please tell him that I've gotta give a flute

lesson, but I'll call him later? Sure.

Vance, Vance, listen, glad I caught you. Yeah.

Cynthia told me to tell you that she has to give a flute lesson and she'll call

you later.

Thanks, Vance. Anytime.

You know, if you put your head up to his ear, you can hear the wind blow.

Want to sit down?

Sure. I got something for you.

What?

Two tickets for the concert tonight. Beethoven is playing.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Yeah. Although I think you mean that they're playing Beethoven.

Beethoven's dead.

Then she can't go to the concert.

Hey, I'm just kidding. I know that Beethoven is dead. I read the papers.

Thank you. You know, I hear they're doing a fantastic variation on the

Oh, yeah?

I got a variation for you.

You're pretty, Sponge.

All right.

You know, I was wondering, Mother's Day is coming up, and I wanted to get a nice

present for my mother, and I'd like your advice.

Oh, fire away.

Well, I got down to three choices right now. Tell me what you think is the best,

okay? Yeah. All right. A pair of boots, a crash helmet, or a year's subscription

to the Playboy magazine.

Are you talking your mother here?

Oh, of course.

Hey, Pop.

Yeah, Al.

Buddy boy. Well, anything you get for my birthday, I'm going to love you.

He can see right through me.

I know what I'm going to get you. I know what I'm going to get him. I got it.

You know what? It's true. My birthday's coming up, and I would love to share it

with you.

I'd love that, too. That would be very nice.

Now, the thing of it is, with all my other girls, you're going to have to get

there very early, because I'd like you to sit next to me.

You're inviting other girls to your party?

Yeah, it's tradition. I do that every year.

Oh, how lovely.

Just out of curiosity, exactly how many girls, Vaughn?

Good question. Good question. Because this year I want to make it very

I narrowed it right down to four.

Four, that's in this round number.

But listen, the girls that don't get invited, they come to the gym, you know,

and I give them a little speech. They carry me out on their shoulders, you

You don't have to come to that.

I think I'll pass on the party, Vaughn.

Look, I know that you see other girls. Yeah. And I'm not thrilled about it, but

apparently that's something that you find a need to do.

Maybe those 40 other girls don't mind sitting around together at your party.

I do.

I have more respect for myself than that.

Yeah, but Cynthia, you get your own hat and horn.

I'm sorry, Fawn.

When you're mature enough to make a commitment to just one woman, let me

Give me a call.

I would really be interested.

When I am mature enough.

Hey, do you know how mature I am?

I have been shaking since I was 12.

I just saw Cynthia. Yeah, Cynthia.

I just invited her to my bidet bash, right? Yeah. I said she could sit right

next to me and a cake. Yeah. She said, oh, I would love to.

And I told her about my other girls and everything. She went weirdo, you know,

on me. And she said, when you're mature enough, give me a call.

You believe that?

Yeah.

I don't believe you. You meant no, but it came out yeah, right? No, Fonz, I

meant yes. It does happen. You know, people do pair off.

Besides, you can't blame a woman for wanting to be your one true love.

I mean, to put it that way about my one girl and my birthday.

All right, let's look at it this way then, huh? All right. All right, say

you like cornflakes. No, I don't like cornflakes. Just say that you do.

Right. Now, you're not going to have cornflakes every day. You're going to go

out and get your variety pack.

You're going to have your sugar pops, your raisin bran. You're going to have

your fruit loops.

Fonz.

Fonz, women are not cereal. I know that, Roger. I know that. I was only making

an analogy.

An analogy?

Yeah, a metaphor.

A metaphor? Yeah.

Where did you learn that word? From Cynthia. Very smart. Very smart. You

I'm taking her to a concert tonight. She's going to see Beethoven. He's dead,

you know.

That, too. Yeah, but it doesn't much matter anymore.

How about mudflaps?

Or a grease gun?

Oh, he's got one of those.

Think big.

We've got to top the motorcycle that we got him last year. Right.

We got to think of something that he wouldn't buy for himself.

A brassiere.

Does she have to be here?

use them.

I can't wait. I'm going to go upstairs and try on these new clothes.

I don't think they're going to fit you.

What's that?

Oh, I got the cutest plant for the bedroom. He's bringing it in.

I'll go with your mother to buy a cute plant and I come home with Sherwood

Forest. No, not here, Howard. Take it upstairs.

Why don't we just water it and let it grow upstairs?

I'll take it up in a few minutes.

Well, gang, what are you up to?

Well, trying to figure out what to get Fonzie for his birthday, Mr. C. Yeah.

Have you guys gotten anything for him?

No, I haven't. Marion, have we gotten anything for Fonzie's birthday? Oh,

I forgot.

We could give him a nice plant.

Hey!

What do you know? The county fair just opened this Sunday, Marion. We gotta go

again this year.

Oh, I don't know, Howard. Every time you go, you act just like a little kid.

I never act like a kid.

Oh!

Ranger's going to be there.

What?

At his house.

That's it.

What? That's the present, the Lone Ranger.

Oh, come on, that's what Fonzie's idol since he was a little kid.

Oh, man, if we can get the Lone Ranger to show up at Fonzie's party, that'd be

something he'd never forget.

Chachi, that's perfect. Okay, now all we have to do is go down to the fair and

talk to the Lone Ranger.

Look, we can all go. We can just make a whole day of it. Yeah, great, but

listen, not one word to Fonzie, okay? Right. I want this to be a surprise.

Oh, look, the evening paper.

Pressure, no pressure, but three more shopping days till my birthday.

We know something you don't know.

What?

We're giving you the best birthday present you'll ever get. Let that girl

Get that girl up here. I'm going to tell you what it is, you guys. It's really

great. It's better than the motorcycle.

It's better than my motorcycle. Come on, Tom.

Call me when they let you go. Call me. Call me.

It's better than my motorcycle.

Happy birthday to me.

And I got a door to you.

What about, Franz?

Well, about sowing my wild oats. Oh, my. Well, have a nice time.

Sowing your wild oats?

Mr. C, now, look.

You know me a long time, right? Mm -hmm.

Now, maybe you haven't noticed, but I date, like, quite a few ladies, you

Oh, you're the guy.

So, I was thinking that, uh, I had a lot of fun.

And maybe it's time that I just, uh...

Starts with... Settle down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, I must say, this is a side of you I've never seen before.

It shocks me, too.

Never thought I'd live to see this day.

Have you picked out some girl?

Could be.

Let me ask you a question.

When was the first time? I mean, how old were you when you started to go steady

with Mrs. C? Gave her your ring.

I couldn't afford a ring. We just shook hands.

in high school and got married when I was 21.

21?

Man to man, buddy to buddy, person to person, huh?

Any time that you feel that maybe like you didn't do the right thing?

Howard, get up here!

The baby just went nice, nice, and it's your turn to change him!

Yes, plenty of time.

Well, we, uh, just talked to Long Range's manager.

Want to know what he said?

Yes. The only way we'll get to see him is at a distance with the rest of the

fairgoers. Can you believe that?

You know, he talked to us just like we're nobodies.

We are.

Oh, yeah.

Well, maybe we can catch him after the performance.

No, no, we thought of that, too. But his book's off for two days, and then he

leaves for California.

So much for Fonzie meeting his idol.

Is Jane Russell in town? He likes her, too.

Right up here, buckaroos. Only cost a quarter. Now, any of you who can stay on

Old Diablo for the full ride can win yourself a free dinner with the Lone

Ranger. Yep, that's right. The genuine masked man himself.

Now, who'll step up here and give it a whirl?

Did you hear that?

He's offering a chance to have dinner with the Lone Ranger.

And all you gotta do is ride that mechanical bull.

Huh? I can do that.

Yeah, but, Chuck, you're a city boy.

I know that, but the bull doesn't.

Hey, folks, we got us a rider here.

What's your name, son? Chachi.

You're a kid.

Well, what's your name?

Elmo. Oh, that's a good name.

I sure hope he makes it. Let's help Chachi out here.

Chachi.

Well, not well enough. Well, you did your best.

No, he didn't quite do his best.

I think I'll try it. I'm going to ride Diablo.

Oh, Howard, Pat.

Oh, you're still beautiful to say the least.

If shots you can ride it, so can I, homie. Dad, you can hurt yourself, and

there's a lot more of you to hurt. No offense.

For Fonzie, it's worth it.

You know, I really don't think it's such a good idea.

Howard, now stop this foolishness right now. Marion, I have made up my mind.

Next. Here you are. I'm next.

Good luck.

Thanks, purple dad.

Okay, folks, we got ourselves another cow puncher here now. What's your name,

partner? Duke Cunningham.

Friends is coming to TV Land. We are talking about national TV here. Tune in

our 48 -hour marathon.

It's on at 10 .30!

Actually, it's on all weekend long. Well, forgive me for living!

Two straight days of unforgettable skin.

We're all here!

Watch the Carol Burnett and Friends marathon all next weekend on TV Land.

Being able to wake up every morning with Allison is kind of like having a

sleepover with your best friend.

Everyone deserves to find the love of their life.

I love my husband. We have so much fun. We do everything together.

Hi, I'm Dr. Neal Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony .com. After 35 years of

research involving thousands of married couples, we've developed a system for

helping singles find a love that lasts a lifetime.

Marriage is like a sleepover every night with your best friend. Did you use that

line too? Oh, yeah.

It is. It is so much fun. The secret behind eHarmony .com is our patented

compatibility match.

I love puzzles. Any kind of puzzle.

That's why I get excited when people bring their taxes into H &R Block.

It's like this really complex puzzle.

I don't just help them get the maximum refund.

I work on the bigger puzzle. I help them plan for the future, save for education

or a house.

It's almost as challenging as the Sunday crossword puzzle, which reminds me, do

you know a five -letter word for boomerang? The new H &R Block Advantage.

I couldn't pay my bill.

It was ruining my life.

I couldn't answer my own phone because of the bill collectors.

Between student loans and my credit card, I could barely make minimums. I

there had to be a way out.

If this sounds familiar, we can help.

Profina Debt Solutions is a nonprofit credit counseling service that's here to

help you get out of debt. Our trained and certified counselors discuss your

options, stop the collection calls, and put you back in charge of your life.

Profina works with creditors nationwide to reduce your interest rates and lower

your payments, helping you pay off your debt faster and more affordably than you

could on your own.

You don't have to own a home to qualify.

I was on the verge of bankruptcy.

Soon I'll be debt -free.

I have my life back.

Stop living in fear.

Profina can help you regain control of your life.

It's private and confidential, so make the call and get back in charge of your

life today.

I'm proud of you.

You gave it your best shot.

I guess finding me in the Lone Ranger wasn't meant to be.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

What? Let me try it.

He's checked out, huh?

Oh. Okay, thank you.

Well, Lone Ranger is on his way to the airport. He's flying to California

tonight. I don't know what else to do.

Well... I guess the only thing to do now is just tell Fozzie that we did the

best we could, but there'll be no special present.

Oh, no.

The birthday boy is here.

How are you? Who wants to be the first to kiss the birthday boy?

Tosca, I'll talk to you about something. Me first.

I just want to tell you, this is going to be one of the most important and

biggest nights of my life.

Let's wait tonight.

I'm not going to have a birthday bash. I repeat.

No birthday bash. Why?

Because I am going to spend my birthday with Cynthia, and Cynthia will lose.

Well,

Cynthia's a very lucky girl. Yes, she is, and so am I, you know, because this

might be the beginning of something that is the beginning of something, you

know. Franz, it's about your birthday present. No, no, no, no. It's all right.

Special night, special girl, special present, huh?

Whoa.

Okay, wait.

You know what?

I mean, here's a thought.

There might be a Mrs.

Fonzarelli and a lot of little Fonzarellis, but don't you worry, Mr. C.

If I got eight, ten, fifteen kids, we're all gonna live above the garage,

because I like that place.

Did you hear what he said? Special present, special girl?

Oh, I hope he won't be too disappointed. Me too.

Well, there still might be a way. Howard, where are you going?

I am going to the airport and head off the Lone Ranger at the pass.

Oh, Howard, if two ladies are already on the plane, they'll never get there in

time. Maybe, Marion, but Fonzie would do the same thing in this situation that

I'm going to do now. He's been too good a friend to us, and I am not going to

let him down.

Oh, tough little guy.

and let your birthday go by without getting you something special.

So, we all got you this.

Yeah. I'm all a tingle.

All right. I don't know what it is.

Oh, what could it be, huh?

Oh, this is great.

I don't know.

Here it goes.

This is going to be something.

I know it. I know it. This is going to be something. All right.

It's a pair of pants.

Hand -stitched. Hand -stitched.

Pair of pants. Well, we thought they'd go with your leather jacket and your

sports coat. They do. They do. This is a very lovely pair of pants.

That's not all, Ponce. I know it. That's not all. Close your eyes.

Huh? Close your eyes. All right. You ready? Yeah. You're going to love this.

There it is.

Oh, there it is.

All right.

All right.

Here we go.

This is great.

It's a belt.

Buckle has your initial on it. Yes, it does.

Yes, it does. They spelled it correctly.

A belt.

And a pair of pants. You like them?

Great. I love them. Thank you.

Thank you very much, really.

Happy birthday.

Well, we'll get out of your way now, Fonz. Yeah.

Happy birthday, Fonz.

Bye -bye. Bye -bye. Bye -bye.

Sorry, Fonz, but this wasn't exactly what we had planned, but happy birthday,

anyone. Sure. I love my belt. I love my pants.

Play on some.

It's a very nice belt.

Sure. Last year, they gave me a motorcycle.

You may not know it, Vaughn, but you've given me a very special gift tonight.

What did I give you?

You broke a tradition.

You spent a very important day of your life with me.

And only me.

Thank you.

You feel that way?

Thank you. Thank you.

Hold that pose.

I'm trying to create like a romantic... Oh, that helps. That helps.

Guys,

I love my cancer belt. You know, I mean, I don't...

you've been wanting to meet me for a number of years.

I'd like to say it gives me great pleasure to meet a man who has patterned

life after mine.

Well, with all these loyal friends, you must be a good -hearted man.

I'd like to leave you with something that can stand as a symbol to our

and our friendship.

Where's that masked man?

Gosh, I'm afraid he's left.

But I didn't get a chance to thank him.

Hey, you children!

Away!

Hey, you!

Hey, you!

Hey, you!

Last year.

Gloria would say something like, Daddy!

And then Edith would chime in, Oh, I can't! Next year.

2004 TD Land Awards, coming in March.

Craftsman has the right tool for every project, even yours.

So, Pete, your family workspace is officially organized.

Finally, Bob, I got that monster mess under control.

You know, when I started, I thought the hardest part was going to be those

stripped screws.

Yep, that's a really common problem, Pete. But the job was painless, with

Craftsman Screw -Out Damage Screw Removal.

They work fast and easy. They're made of heavy -duty tempered steel to grab

stripped screw heads and hold tight.

You get the resistance you need to take them right out.

This tool's great. Easy to use, too. They work on most any screw. If the

there, this tough little craftsman tool will get it and won't damage the

surrounding area.

You can use Screw -Out with any power drill or a hand driver.

It even digs in on tough, painted -over screws.

A set of three sizes, only $19 .99.

You know, once those screws came out, I broke down the old shelves pretty fast.

Then it was on to phase two, and this Craftsman cordless drill made all the

difference.

The 19 .2 -volt EX drill was definitely the right tool for this project.

It has the most torque in its class to really power through the job.

All I know is I never took a break.

That's right. With two battery packs, this drill is with you till the end.

This tool's great. The EX drill has a 24 -position clutch to help prevent

overdriving.

and variable speed to give you extra control.

It's only $99 .99, and one of the best -in -class family of Craftsman EX

I had my share of dark spaces, too.

Yep, the Craftsman safety glasses with LED light let you keep both hands free.

Smart idea, and only $19 .99.

Hard to believe this is the same space.

I know I'm impressed.

Hey, Bob, come back any time. I have lots of projects.

An innovative tool for every project.

Ideas for the good life. Craftsman at Sears.

She wore blue.

Do you know that he only gives this to real good guys?

Hey, partner.

I hope you don't think I forgot about you. I was just waiting for the right

moment.

Another present.

Happy birthday.

See my silver bullets? Oh, yeah.

I love this.

I read that myself.

Yeah, I can tell.

I hope you don't have one just like it.

Al, trust me.

This is great.

Up next, the Brady Bunch. Want to learn how to drive?

Just get an egg, a pylon, and a driving instructor in his underwear.

That's how the Bradys do it. Stay tuned for episode 111, The Driver's Seat,

coming up fast on TV Land.