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Monday, Monday, happy day.
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Tuesday, Wednesday, happy day.
3
00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:11,880
Thursday, Friday, happy day. The weekend
comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to
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00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:12,880
you.
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00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,820
These days are ours,
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00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,100
happy, free.
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These days are ours, share them with me.
8
00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:25,220
Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.
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There's nothing can hold me when I hold
you.
10
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So right, you can't be wrong.
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00:00:30,500 --> 00:00:32,840
Rockin' and rollin' all week long.
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Let's dance.
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00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:36,340
Let's
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dance.
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00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:45,360
Monday, Monday, happy days.
16
00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:47,900
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.
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00:00:48,140 --> 00:00:50,380
Thursday, Friday, happy days.
18
00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:52,820
Saturday, what a day.
19
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,860
Groovin' all week with you.
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These days are ours.
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this isn't a crank call. I really want
to go there.
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Mom,
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Tony, you'll never believe it. Richie
just called. They're opening the base to
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wives this weekend and I'm going to go.
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Oh, Richie. Oh, Richie. How is
everything?
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Oh,
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Richard, you sound like a woman.
28
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Oh, that army.
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Oh, Mom, it's the airline. I'm trying to
get a reservation.
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Oh, Mom.
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Oh, it's really nice talking to you. And
I'll give you back to Laurie Beth now.
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I'm so embarrassed.
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Well, you know, this is a perfect
weekend to go to Greenland. It couldn't
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colder than it is here.
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Oh, thank God.
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An hour. The plane leaves in an hour,
and I have so much to do. I have to
37
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:12,770
I have... Oh, I can't believe it. After
four long, lonely months, I get to see
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Richie, and he'll take me in his arms.
He'll look me in the eyes. Laurie Beth,
39
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not in front of gentlemen.
40
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don't mind taking care of Richie Jr.,
he's having his first cold.
41
00:02:28,370 --> 00:02:32,390
So you'll admit that he's going to get a
hundred colds. No, I mean he might be a
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little hard to handle.
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Oh, I don't mind, I don't mind. Oh, Mom,
it's that darn boiler again.
44
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Is Dad ever going to fix that thing? He
says he doesn't have the right tools.
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He owns a hardware store, Mom.
46
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Could I borrow a suitcase?
47
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Oh, yeah, yeah.
48
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Oh, great. I got a hundred over here.
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Oh, Lori Beth, I miss Richie so much.
50
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Gee, I wish you were coming with me.
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No, you don't.
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You're right.
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00:03:00,730 --> 00:03:01,730
Oh.
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00:03:02,030 --> 00:03:04,190
Hold up.
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Feels good to be home.
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00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:11,530
How many times do I have to tell you?
You don't live here. This is not your
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home.
58
00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,050
I know that, Mr. C.
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00:03:14,670 --> 00:03:15,710
Is that today's paper?
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00:03:16,550 --> 00:03:19,150
Oh, Marion, I got great news for you.
I've been prepping.
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00:03:21,550 --> 00:03:24,330
All day long, trying to figure out how I
was going to tell you this. So hold on
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to your hat, Barry! Mr. Seuss got two
free tickets to New York. I got two free
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tickets to New York.
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Well, tell me about it. Well, it seems
like I ended up selling more Happy
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Plungers than anyone else did.
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00:03:38,290 --> 00:03:39,290
So, Mr.
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Happy is giving us a free trip to New
York, and he wants to talk to me about
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taking a job with his company.
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You want to have a job in New York?
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No, Mary, and I just want the free trip.
Oh, you and I could have a ball.
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00:03:58,920 --> 00:03:59,920
I'm going this weekend.
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00:04:00,580 --> 00:04:02,420
Paris. No. Hawaii.
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00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:03,760
Oh, no.
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00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,100
Omaha.
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00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:06,920
Oh.
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00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:09,580
Sit down over here. Oh, thanks, Bob.
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How did you know that?
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00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:13,600
Process of elimination.
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Get back in line.
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00:04:16,620 --> 00:04:18,980
Why are you going to Omaha?
81
00:04:19,339 --> 00:04:23,660
You were looking at the delegate from
Jefferson High to the new teacher's
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convention. What kind of a teacher's
convention?
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00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,290
I'm going to brush up on my library
skills.
84
00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:35,850
Brushing up on your library skills?
85
00:04:36,070 --> 00:04:41,210
Mr. Seekerman, I found out last year 96
% of all the delegates were ladies.
86
00:04:41,470 --> 00:04:44,150
Ah. So I figured I'd put a little Dewey
back in their decimal system.
87
00:04:46,690 --> 00:04:48,630
Dad, did you hear the good news?
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In less than an hour, I'm on my way to
see Richie.
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00:04:52,330 --> 00:04:54,710
Oh, that's great. I'm going to get my
best record.
90
00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,550
Wonderful, sweetheart. And Mom and I are
going to New York.
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00:04:58,790 --> 00:04:59,790
Oh, New York.
92
00:05:00,010 --> 00:05:01,670
Oh, I'm going to Omaha. Yeah.
93
00:05:02,430 --> 00:05:03,430
I'm going nowhere.
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00:05:03,690 --> 00:05:04,690
That's right.
95
00:05:06,770 --> 00:05:08,610
What about the baby? Where's the baby
going?
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00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:11,090
The baby.
97
00:05:11,790 --> 00:05:13,050
Oh, that's right.
98
00:05:13,330 --> 00:05:15,370
Well, no, that's very simple.
99
00:05:15,670 --> 00:05:18,290
I just can't go to New York. I can go to
New York.
100
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:22,790
No, Mom, it's my baby. I should be the
one to stay home.
101
00:05:23,130 --> 00:05:24,130
I can go to Greenland.
102
00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:28,500
You know, there must be some responsible
person who can take care of the little
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00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:29,500
guy for a couple of days.
104
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,620
I can't think of anybody.
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Oh, that's all right.
106
00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,600
Just because I'm going to be home and
the baby's going to be home, that's no
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reason to think of me.
108
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:47,280
Well, I'm just a little baby myself.
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I'll go up to my room and play with my
Barbie doll.
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00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:52,680
What's that all about?
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00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,100
Well, here's a wild guess.
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She wanted to take care of the baby, no
one thought about asking her, you know.
113
00:05:57,900 --> 00:06:00,980
Oh, well, that's ridiculous. I mean, who
ever heard of a kid taking care of a
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00:06:00,980 --> 00:06:04,460
kid? Mr. C, you haven't noticed, but
your child is no longer a kid.
115
00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:06,860
Joan of Arc saved France at her age.
116
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,360
Of course, Joanie can do it. She's
wonderful with the baby.
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00:06:10,700 --> 00:06:11,679
I don't know.
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00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,140
Do I know kids? I know kids. You know
kids. Come on, she's great.
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You're right.
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00:06:16,660 --> 00:06:18,900
Joanie! How are you doing the right
thing?
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00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:20,960
Come on down, will you, sweetheart? I
want to talk to you.
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00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,720
I hope this is... I left Barbie naked.
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00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,840
Look, sweetheart, I don't know why we
didn't think of it before, but, well, we
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00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,880
would appreciate it if you would take
care of the baby this weekend.
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00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:43,580
Oh, Joey, I know you'll do a great job.
Oh, you won't be sorry. I'll bathe him,
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00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,400
and I'll feed him, and I'll burp him.
I'll even get him to grow some hair.
127
00:06:47,300 --> 00:06:49,340
I'll take great care of him, I promise.
Oh, great.
128
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:53,620
I'd better get going. Yeah, we'll drive
you. I'll warm up the car, huh?
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00:06:54,280 --> 00:06:55,280
I'll get your coat.
130
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,700
You've got to help me out. He will not
leave me alone.
131
00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:02,500
I'll do anything for you. Thank you. All
right. Here you go, Mr. C.
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00:07:03,060 --> 00:07:03,979
Hey, Patsy.
133
00:07:03,980 --> 00:07:04,980
Patsy. Yeah, Pats?
134
00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,040
How long has it been since we hung out
together?
135
00:07:07,380 --> 00:07:08,380
Five years.
136
00:07:09,860 --> 00:07:11,800
Let's make a deal that we meet every
five years, all right?
137
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:13,840
I'll treat you to a game of skeetball.
138
00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:15,119
Oh, great.
139
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,700
Boy, is Ralph going to be jealous.
140
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,780
Will you pick me up a couple of bagels?
141
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,720
Sure. Oh, that's terrific. You go to
Bertie's Bakery. You see, you take the D
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00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:32,560
train, get off at Jerome, you transfer
to the 44 bus, then you get off at
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00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:35,160
Morris, you walk six blocks west, and
there it is.
144
00:07:35,900 --> 00:07:38,640
I'm not going to have time for that. I'm
going to be in business meetings all
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00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:41,520
afternoon. Afternoon's too late. You've
got to get there five o 'clock in the
146
00:07:41,520 --> 00:07:43,880
morning. That's what Bertie takes. He
takes about a day off.
147
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:48,380
Well, I'll tell you what. We'll spend
the night at the bakery and forget about
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00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,380
the hotel, huh?
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00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,400
That's what I always do.
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00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:56,620
All right, gang, we're going. Now, you
take care of yourself and make sure that
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00:07:56,620 --> 00:07:59,300
you lock up all the windows and the
doors before you go to sleep. All the
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00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:03,060
Oh, rabbit, little baby. Mommy's
sleeping. Okay, now you leave a few
153
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:05,600
burning at night. Don't open the door
before strangers.
154
00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,620
And then we wait an hour after eating
before you go swimming.
155
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000
It's the middle of winter.
156
00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,040
Then you really shouldn't go swimming at
all.
157
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:17,740
Mother always gets nervous when she
flies.
158
00:08:18,120 --> 00:08:20,720
I don't like that thing, Mr. C. I'll be
around here a lot.
159
00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,300
That's it, I'm saying.
160
00:08:24,300 --> 00:08:27,300
No, Mr. C, what I meant was I'll be
around here in the daytime a lot.
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00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,160
Now, look, you don't have to worry about
a thing. I'll make sure that Joanie
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00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:34,000
leaves two lights on, and I'll be out of
here every night at 10 o 'clock. 8 o
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00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,240
'clock. 9 .30. 8 o 'clock.
164
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:36,440
8 o 'clock.
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00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:37,600
8 o 'clock? It's a deal.
166
00:08:38,580 --> 00:08:39,439
No, Mr.
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00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,880
C, there's no one more responsible than
our little Joanie.
168
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:45,100
Kids, it's party time!
169
00:08:46,320 --> 00:08:48,860
No way. Yes, no party.
170
00:08:49,120 --> 00:08:53,120
Listen, Jenny, this weekend is very,
very important to me, and I want to
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00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:56,260
proved everyone that I'm just not a
little kid. Well, I don't think you
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00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,260
understand something, Joanie.
173
00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:00,620
When kids' parents leave town, there's
going to be a party.
174
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,739
Oh, really?
175
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:03,320
Well, how does everybody know this?
176
00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,840
Well, you see, Chach, it's like a
grapevine.
177
00:09:06,180 --> 00:09:07,600
It goes mouth to mouth.
178
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,520
And whose was the first mouth?
179
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:11,120
It could have been mine.
180
00:09:11,620 --> 00:09:15,920
You just tell everyone that there's no
party. Oh, you guys are a couple of
181
00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:16,819
-goodies, you know that?
182
00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:20,700
And listen, if you ever get bored or
anything, you can always give each other
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00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:21,700
crew cuts.
184
00:09:25,300 --> 00:09:26,680
Yeah. Isn't this nice?
185
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:30,420
You, me, a baby. It's just like if we
were married.
186
00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:33,120
You know,
187
00:09:36,060 --> 00:09:36,779
you're right.
188
00:09:36,780 --> 00:09:38,240
It is just like we were married.
189
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:40,200
Hey, I got an idea.
190
00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:43,580
Why don't you go outside and pretend
you're my husband coming home from work?
191
00:09:43,980 --> 00:09:47,940
What? Oh, come on. Oh, Joni, come on.
It's freezing outside. I don't want to
192
00:09:47,940 --> 00:09:50,820
that. Don't you have any romance, Joni?
193
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:53,680
All right.
194
00:09:55,790 --> 00:09:57,630
I'll be right back with some romance.
Okay.
195
00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:03,650
Hi, honey, I'm home.
196
00:10:04,110 --> 00:10:05,270
How was your day, dear?
197
00:10:05,550 --> 00:10:07,830
Oh, not too bad, honey. I got a beat on
that math quiz.
198
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:10,730
Come on.
199
00:10:10,930 --> 00:10:11,930
Act like we're married.
200
00:10:13,190 --> 00:10:14,190
Okay. Okay.
201
00:10:18,330 --> 00:10:19,950
Another new dress, huh?
202
00:10:26,510 --> 00:10:27,890
stuffing your mouth with bonbons?
203
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:32,170
But I work 12 hours a day in the mines?
204
00:10:32,390 --> 00:10:33,670
Huh? Huh?
205
00:10:35,690 --> 00:10:39,450
And how was your day? Oh, the usual.
206
00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:42,410
Did the laundry, bought a new toaster,
had an affair with the milkman.
207
00:10:43,490 --> 00:10:44,670
How dare you?
208
00:10:45,050 --> 00:10:47,430
How dare you buy a toaster without
asking me?
209
00:10:49,270 --> 00:10:52,070
Come on, Sutton. We're making a mockery
of the whole thing.
210
00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:55,010
Married people are happier than that.
211
00:10:55,370 --> 00:10:56,370
Yeah, sure.
212
00:10:56,490 --> 00:10:58,010
They don't have to be home at 8 o
'clock.
213
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:04,310
Oh, no, it's that darn boiler again.
214
00:11:04,770 --> 00:11:06,730
You know, it is getting kind of cold in
here. I know.
215
00:11:07,170 --> 00:11:09,110
Chach, will you go look at it? Yeah, all
right. Thanks.
216
00:11:10,330 --> 00:11:11,330
Oh, sure.
217
00:11:11,730 --> 00:11:14,570
12 hours a day in the mines, and now I
got to go back down again.
218
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,370
This is fun. Yeah. I like playing
married.
219
00:11:22,150 --> 00:11:23,150
Can't you be a gentleman?
220
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:31,359
No one was home.
221
00:11:31,360 --> 00:11:32,360
Well, where were they?
222
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,080
Here.
223
00:11:36,100 --> 00:11:36,879
Oh,
224
00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:43,400
my.
225
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:50,200
Who will win the TV Land Award for
favorite crime -fighting duo?
226
00:11:50,620 --> 00:11:53,860
Who will be named TV's all -time
dreamiest teen idol?
227
00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:58,620
Which unforgettable classic TV theme
song will be honored at last?
228
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:05,980
It's all up to you. The 2004 TV Land
Awards are coming, so cast your vote. Go
229
00:12:05,980 --> 00:12:10,080
TVLand .com and select your favorites in
the Viewer's Choice category.
230
00:12:10,860 --> 00:12:12,320
Make your choice heard.
231
00:12:12,820 --> 00:12:14,400
Log on and vote today.
232
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,360
I hate you. You look fabulous.
233
00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:21,000
My new diet.
234
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:22,760
What are you doing, one of those carb
things?
235
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:24,760
Way better. You should try it.
236
00:12:25,070 --> 00:12:28,590
I'm too busy. Well, me too, but they
portion it, calculate it, and ship it
237
00:12:28,590 --> 00:12:29,329
to your door.
238
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,410
Really? Really.
239
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:32,550
How good can that be? You tell me.
240
00:12:33,990 --> 00:12:38,170
Now there's a better way. It's called
Nutrisystem Nourish. It's new, and it's
241
00:12:38,170 --> 00:12:39,370
not like any other plan.
242
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:43,330
With Nutrisystem, there's never any
counting, measuring, or guesswork. Just
243
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:46,570
hundred great -tasting snacks and meals
ready to heat, eat, and go.
244
00:12:46,970 --> 00:12:48,530
Mmm, no way that's done.
245
00:12:49,130 --> 00:12:53,170
Only Nutrisystem is based on the
glycemic index, an extraordinary new
246
00:12:53,170 --> 00:12:57,290
loss plan that's rich in good carbs and
low in fat. You can burn more calories
247
00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:58,290
more effectively.
248
00:12:58,890 --> 00:13:00,390
Fabulous. I feel thinner already.
249
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:04,030
Well, that makes two of us, since you
just ate my entire lunch.
250
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:09,990
Get the good carb answer with
Nutrisystem and lose weight. For the
251
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:15,830
Nutrisystem, call 888 -660 -THIN. That's
1 -888 -660 -THIN.
252
00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,220
The Uh -Oh Oreo, the greatest tasting
goof ever.
253
00:13:31,620 --> 00:13:35,400
Look what's new at Publisher's
Clearinghouse. Just a few clicks. Now
254
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:40,180
to pch .com and in no time enter to win
$10 million February 26th. It's a whole
255
00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:45,440
new world. This can't replace us, can
it? Easy entry at pch .com. That's
256
00:13:45,440 --> 00:13:46,440
new at Publisher's Clearinghouse.
257
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,320
Every night at 1130.
258
00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:52,580
Cheers.
259
00:13:58,370 --> 00:14:02,830
Everybody's doing a band -aid dance now.
Okay, everybody, let's get naked and
260
00:14:02,830 --> 00:14:03,830
see who's best.
261
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:10,310
Jaunty didn't mean it. Besides, who'd
take their clothes off if they were fat?
262
00:14:11,130 --> 00:14:12,310
You're not helping.
263
00:14:12,830 --> 00:14:15,870
I think Bobby's getting a little out of
control.
264
00:14:16,210 --> 00:14:17,250
Oh, Jaunty's harmless.
265
00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:20,990
He's just unwinding from the pressures
of maintaining a straight C average.
266
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:26,570
Besides, Jaunty, sweetheart, don't be
upset. It's your party. You make the
267
00:14:26,570 --> 00:14:27,570
rules.
268
00:14:31,690 --> 00:14:34,230
It's like a party. Yeah, there is a
party. It's in the living room.
269
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:36,610
Why don't you invite me?
270
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:41,830
Oh, wow.
271
00:14:41,950 --> 00:14:44,190
Look at this cute little Tammy from my
third period.
272
00:14:44,430 --> 00:14:45,430
Hey, Tammy, how you doing?
273
00:14:47,030 --> 00:14:49,250
Oh, man, I hate third periods.
274
00:14:51,090 --> 00:14:53,550
I'm sorry I'm unmanaged. Did you fix the
boiler?
275
00:14:53,770 --> 00:14:54,489
Fix it?
276
00:14:54,490 --> 00:14:55,490
Are you kidding?
277
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:57,430
I just gave that thing its last rites.
278
00:14:57,830 --> 00:14:59,310
Yeah, it's going to be shot. Shoot.
279
00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:02,130
I'm going to call a repairman.
280
00:15:02,550 --> 00:15:03,950
Here, start looking.
281
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:06,790
All right. Beep, beep.
282
00:15:56,110 --> 00:15:57,230
the party any less fun.
283
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,250
Yeah, this is great.
284
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,430
Next week and all done.
285
00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:05,710
Gosh, Eugene.
286
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:07,210
Sure know where the action is.
287
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:10,970
If you're not having fun, you can leave.
288
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,410
Joanie, nobody said we weren't having
fun.
289
00:16:14,910 --> 00:16:16,430
Oh, a ringing doorbell. That's fun.
290
00:16:20,610 --> 00:16:21,610
Rudy to the rescue.
291
00:16:23,070 --> 00:16:24,070
Who died?
292
00:16:25,790 --> 00:16:26,790
Do they know?
293
00:16:28,490 --> 00:16:29,490
You must be Rudy.
294
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:31,430
What does that say, Liberace?
295
00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:34,190
So where's the busted boiler?
296
00:16:34,470 --> 00:16:35,470
Oh, it's in the basement.
297
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:36,610
Good.
298
00:16:39,370 --> 00:16:40,990
You want me to dig through the floor?
You got stairs.
299
00:16:41,370 --> 00:16:45,250
Oh, oh, uh, follow me. Uh, time to...
Oh,
300
00:16:46,490 --> 00:16:47,490
can you fix this?
301
00:16:47,630 --> 00:16:50,450
Are you kidding? My mother didn't name
me Rudy to the rescue for nothing.
302
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:53,690
Yeah, well, uh, listen, Rudy to the
rescue, what's this gonna cost?
303
00:16:54,700 --> 00:16:57,760
Look, Rudy's got a special this weekend.
Only $199 .95.
304
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,240
$200?
305
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,320
No.
306
00:17:01,580 --> 00:17:02,580
$199 .95.
307
00:17:03,380 --> 00:17:06,079
Listen, I don't think my parents would
want me to spend that much money.
308
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:07,700
Okay. It's been nice meeting you.
309
00:17:09,099 --> 00:17:11,400
Tony, I don't even know if you have that
kind of money. Do you?
310
00:17:11,619 --> 00:17:14,260
Well, my dad left me that blank check in
case of emergency.
311
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,560
Come again?
312
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:20,700
What's the matter? I'm sorry. When I
hear blank check, the blood rushes to my
313
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:21,700
head.
314
00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:22,920
I'll get started.
315
00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:26,960
Well, wait a minute. Hey. I could take
the baby to a hotel and this could wait
316
00:17:26,960 --> 00:17:27,960
till Monday, right?
317
00:17:28,740 --> 00:17:33,900
Well, you see, what you got here is your
standard Crookshank galvanized pipes.
318
00:17:34,800 --> 00:17:36,760
Now, Crookshank was an idiot.
319
00:17:37,820 --> 00:17:41,620
And in this weather, if there's no heat
going through these pipes, then the
320
00:17:41,620 --> 00:17:43,840
water in this pipe freezes and expands.
321
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:45,960
So? So.
322
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:47,940
They could boist.
323
00:17:50,080 --> 00:17:51,080
Boist?
324
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,460
You could be doing sea hunt down in your
basement.
325
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,180
You know what?
326
00:17:57,200 --> 00:17:58,520
This happened in my mother's building.
327
00:17:58,760 --> 00:18:00,240
Really? Yeah, it cost her two grand.
328
00:18:00,460 --> 00:18:02,740
Two grand? Listen, you better listen to
him. He knows.
329
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,660
Johnny, that green lamp upstairs, is
that an antique?
330
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:07,920
No.
331
00:18:08,360 --> 00:18:09,940
That's a load off my mind. You got any
glue?
332
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:12,120
What? Never mind, I'll find it.
333
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:15,280
Beth, Beth, Beth, you gotta decide.
334
00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,400
You gotta decide. It's just $200 now or
it's $2 ,000 later. It's up to you.
335
00:18:19,460 --> 00:18:20,680
Johnny, you better get up here quick.
336
00:18:24,720 --> 00:18:28,140
Hey, makes no never mind to me. I can
save your house or I can save somebody
337
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:30,180
else's. All right, all right, all right.
Save mine.
338
00:18:31,540 --> 00:18:32,980
I don't know why I'm so nervous.
339
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:36,780
$200. Sorry, I'll tell you what to do.
You go up to your room. I'll talk to
340
00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,520
father. You push your bed right in front
of the door.
341
00:18:39,500 --> 00:18:41,460
I spent the money. I'm going to tell
him.
342
00:18:42,740 --> 00:18:43,860
I'm very proud of you.
343
00:18:44,360 --> 00:18:46,240
Thanks. All right, I'll take a look.
344
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:47,680
Thanks.
345
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,540
You know, it's them crookshank pipes.
The guy was an idiot.
346
00:18:53,230 --> 00:18:54,410
if it's any consolation.
347
00:18:54,710 --> 00:18:58,930
I just want you to know that your best
friend in the world, Jenny Piccolo, will
348
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,970
be right here, right by your side.
349
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:02,810
All right, we're home.
350
00:19:03,490 --> 00:19:04,490
See you, Jones.
351
00:19:05,430 --> 00:19:08,190
Did everything go okay, dear?
352
00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:09,410
Yeah, just fine.
353
00:19:09,650 --> 00:19:11,230
The baby's cold is all gone.
354
00:19:11,510 --> 00:19:14,750
Wow, Dad, did you lose some weight? You
look great. No, as a matter of fact, I
355
00:19:14,750 --> 00:19:17,970
gained four pounds. Well, I knew it
looked good. I don't know how it
356
00:19:18,150 --> 00:19:19,150
Want a bagel? No.
357
00:19:19,430 --> 00:19:20,630
Those are for Al.
358
00:19:20,870 --> 00:19:25,790
I know, but... Oh, those pumpernickels.
Did you have a nice weekend here?
359
00:19:25,990 --> 00:19:29,150
Oh, yeah. Well, enough about me. How was
New York? Were you going to move in?
360
00:19:29,410 --> 00:19:31,130
No, no. I turned the job down.
361
00:19:31,370 --> 00:19:32,690
We got off to a bad start.
362
00:19:33,070 --> 00:19:35,870
We took a cab from the airport and he
showed us some sights.
363
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:37,470
Like Boston.
364
00:19:38,690 --> 00:19:40,590
Well, it sure is good having you guys
home.
365
00:19:40,870 --> 00:19:44,950
Thanks. So, any trouble with the boiler?
Sure. Go ahead. Blame me. I knew you
366
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:45,950
wouldn't understand.
367
00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:49,310
Well, the repairman was threatening to
leave and the baby was crying.
368
00:19:49,530 --> 00:19:50,770
Sweetheart, what are you talking about?
369
00:19:54,380 --> 00:19:56,560
and he charged me $200 to fix it.
370
00:19:56,860 --> 00:19:57,860
What?
371
00:19:57,980 --> 00:19:59,060
I don't understand.
372
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,560
I don't understand.
373
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,240
I leave you alone for one minute and
what do you do? You throw open the
374
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:07,940
and you holler, Hey, everybody, I got a
blank check. Come and cheat me.
375
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,940
Dad, I don't know anything about
mechanical stuff.
376
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:13,700
Well, then why don't you listen to me
when I explain these things?
377
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:18,840
Because, Howard, you just explained them
to Richie. Yeah. You man, you just love
378
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:22,040
to have your little secrets about
boilers and plumbing and...
379
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:27,159
know anything.
380
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:32,560
Oh, I'm sorry, Joanie. I didn't mean to
yell at you. It's just that the whole
381
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,560
thing hit me so hard.
382
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,360
200 bucks.
383
00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:38,660
Boy, that's almost what I spent for the
cab ride.
384
00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:44,800
Joanie. Oh, let me bet the happy
wanderers are back. Yeah, I find.
385
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:45,799
How you doing?
386
00:20:45,800 --> 00:20:47,360
Someone went down there to look at the
boiler, huh?
387
00:20:47,700 --> 00:20:48,700
You know what I found?
388
00:20:49,740 --> 00:20:50,740
Bagels.
389
00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:53,060
Will you tell me what did you find?
390
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,039
All right.
391
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,360
$200 well spent that Joanie hadn't
thought fast could have cost you $2
392
00:20:57,680 --> 00:20:58,720
Really? Oh, yeah.
393
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:02,420
Oh, sweetheart, I knew you'd make the
right decision.
394
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,920
Tomorrow I'm going to teach you how to
turtle land.
395
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:09,500
Isn't that wonderful, Howard? Isn't that
wonderful?
396
00:21:09,820 --> 00:21:11,320
She's really growing up.
397
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:13,480
Aw, you were always the baby.
398
00:21:13,740 --> 00:21:17,340
It wasn't so bad when Mitchie grew up
because I still had you as the baby.
399
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:19,440
But now you're not the baby anymore.
400
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,820
Why don't we let the baby be the baby?
401
00:21:23,649 --> 00:21:24,649
Oh, perfect.
402
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,390
Why don't we go and see the baby? Oh,
yes!
403
00:21:28,110 --> 00:21:31,730
Oh, Johnny, I'm proud of you. I knew
you'd make the right decision under
404
00:21:31,730 --> 00:21:35,170
tremendous pressure. Oh, thanks, Dad. I
used to have a green lamp in this room.
405
00:21:35,250 --> 00:21:38,050
Oh, oh, we'll talk about that later. I
want you to see how well I took care of
406
00:21:38,050 --> 00:21:38,569
the baby.
407
00:21:38,570 --> 00:21:40,450
You broke it? The baby's just fine.
408
00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:45,310
By the way, uh, how was the teacher's
convention?
409
00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:50,550
I had such a weekend, I can't believe
it. 400 luscious teachers, huh?
410
00:21:50,790 --> 00:21:53,260
Oh. I wish I could have seen that.
411
00:21:53,620 --> 00:21:55,600
Meet me up at my apartment. I'll be
there in an hour.
412
00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:05,120
I say this calls for action, and now,
nip it in the bud. You got to nip them
413
00:22:05,120 --> 00:22:06,120
things in the bud.
414
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:08,960
I'm going to get my bud nipper and go
over there and nip some bud. There's
415
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:12,680
one way to take care of it. Nip it in
the bud. That bud is nipped. There's no
416
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:14,840
place like TV land. Nip it.
417
00:22:15,580 --> 00:22:19,340
Can I get life insurance at my age in my
health?
418
00:22:19,980 --> 00:22:24,380
I'd like to leave my loved ones with a
little something when I'm gone, but I'm
419
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:26,360
afraid I'm too old to get life
insurance.
420
00:22:26,620 --> 00:22:30,820
If you're like these nice folks and
thought life insurance after 45 was
421
00:22:30,820 --> 00:22:35,060
impossible to get or impossible to
afford, I've got good news.
422
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:42,020
If you're 45 to 79, Physician's Life
guarantees you up to $10 ,000 of
423
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:46,380
modified whole life insurance designed
to help your family with the expenses
424
00:22:46,380 --> 00:22:47,379
they will face.
425
00:22:47,380 --> 00:22:51,760
You cannot be turned down because of
your health. You can buy this insurance
426
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:57,220
policy if you're 45 to 79 and you're
insured for life, no questions asked.
427
00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,640
Just $1 pays for your first full month
of protection.
428
00:23:01,020 --> 00:23:05,120
After that, you can continue at a
monthly renewal rate that can never be
429
00:23:05,120 --> 00:23:09,520
increased. Plus, your coverage can never
be canceled because of your age or
430
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,680
health. Easy to get and easy to afford.
431
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,560
Now let me tell you why this protection
is so important.
432
00:23:17,020 --> 00:23:20,980
All of us someday may leave behind
expenses for our loved ones to pay.
433
00:23:21,180 --> 00:23:22,480
There's no escaping it.
434
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:26,120
These expenses can easily add up to
thousands of dollars.
435
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:30,720
You know, some people even expect the
government to take care of these
436
00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:37,140
But the fact is, Social Security
currently pays a death benefit of just
437
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:39,060
and only if you qualify.
438
00:23:39,600 --> 00:23:42,580
That's why I urge you to take a look at
this coverage.
439
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:47,480
It's one sure way you can help leave
your loved ones with dollars instead of
440
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,300
debts. I'm proud to be their paid
spokesman.
441
00:23:50,650 --> 00:23:54,450
This is one phone call your loved ones
will be thankful for later.
442
00:23:54,710 --> 00:23:56,390
So call right now.
443
00:23:57,030 --> 00:24:01,910
To get your free information kit
directly by mail, call toll -free 1 -800
444
00:24:01,910 --> 00:24:07,170
-5900. That's 1 -800 -258 -5900. There's
no cost or obligation. You're just
445
00:24:07,170 --> 00:24:08,170
calling for information.
446
00:24:09,930 --> 00:24:11,710
We're here when you need us.
447
00:24:12,610 --> 00:24:13,610
Physician's Life.
448
00:24:16,130 --> 00:24:17,270
Dad, this is done.
449
00:24:17,610 --> 00:24:18,930
It's go time. Oh, boy.
450
00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,320
Here's one way to take computer help.
451
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:22,840
Target in sight.
452
00:24:27,300 --> 00:24:29,200
Can I help you?
453
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:33,880
Not a word of this to your mother.
454
00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:35,400
Hang on.
455
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:41,520
Here we go. What do you want from me? I
want you to make...
456
00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:43,020
Go away.
457
00:24:43,780 --> 00:24:46,600
Please. Don't go there. Go down.
458
00:24:47,070 --> 00:24:50,270
Hey, there's a reason people gave Dell
an A -plus for service and reliability.
459
00:24:50,710 --> 00:24:52,510
First, Dell makes rock -solid PCs.
460
00:24:52,850 --> 00:24:57,110
Then, they stand behind us 24 -7. Like
this Dimension desktop with an Intel
461
00:24:57,110 --> 00:24:58,110
Pentium 4 processor.
462
00:24:58,270 --> 00:25:03,090
It's just $499 after mail -in rebates.
And right now, pay no interest till
463
00:25:03,350 --> 00:25:08,250
Plus, get a free CD -DVD burner. A PC
you can rely on. Thank you!
464
00:25:08,850 --> 00:25:12,050
Easy as death. Dell PCs and Intel
Pentium 4 processors.
465
00:25:28,149 --> 00:25:29,310
Howard. For us.
466
00:25:30,390 --> 00:25:32,530
I ran right over as soon as I heard you
came back.
467
00:25:33,010 --> 00:25:34,250
I brought my cream cheese.
468
00:25:34,630 --> 00:25:35,690
I brought my pipe.
469
00:25:39,490 --> 00:25:40,490
Ready.
470
00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:43,530
What are you talking about, Al?
471
00:25:44,170 --> 00:25:46,050
My bagels. Did you bring my bagels?
472
00:25:46,270 --> 00:25:48,110
Oh, your bagels.
473
00:25:48,750 --> 00:25:50,430
Sure, they're right here on the counter.
474
00:25:52,950 --> 00:25:53,950
That's great.
475
00:26:05,940 --> 00:26:07,760
Why, I don't believe this.
476
00:26:08,100 --> 00:26:10,180
Marion, call the police. We've been
robbed.
477
00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:12,420
Save.
478
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:14,500
You ate them, didn't you? Yes.
479
00:26:15,220 --> 00:26:16,320
You ate them!
480
00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:19,640
I'm sorry, Howard. I blinked after just
a second.
481
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:21,680
Come on, sit down.
482
00:26:21,860 --> 00:26:22,860
Tell me.
483
00:26:22,900 --> 00:26:24,540
Tell me how they tasted.
484
00:26:25,100 --> 00:26:26,100
Don't leave anything out.
485
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:29,080
I can't do this. I wonder how they're
tasting.
486
00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:30,420
Mike!
487
00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:32,440
All right, put down that butter knife.
488
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:38,320
Okay, I did exactly what you told me to
do. I went to Bernie's bright and early
489
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:42,060
in the morning. Nice and clean. Oh, boy,
and they were piping hot. Oh, you can't
490
00:26:42,060 --> 00:26:45,360
touch me. And then I rushed back to the
hotel and I cut them up with a knife and
491
00:26:45,360 --> 00:26:48,220
I put a little butter and a little cream
cheese and a little lox in them.
492
00:26:48,420 --> 00:26:49,420
Oh!
493
00:26:49,520 --> 00:26:50,520
Yeah, yeah!
494
00:26:52,460 --> 00:26:54,000
Little bites are big bites.
495
00:26:54,510 --> 00:26:58,210
I started out with little bites, but
then I just couldn't control myself, and
496
00:26:58,210 --> 00:27:01,190
found myself popping them into my mouth
left and right like Nina.
497
00:27:01,510 --> 00:27:02,630
Stop it. Stop it.
498
00:27:03,550 --> 00:27:04,550
What is it?
499
00:27:04,690 --> 00:27:05,690
Start over.
500
00:27:26,700 --> 00:27:30,320
Stay tuned for another episode of Happy
Days on TV Land's Twice as Nice.
501
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:34,480
It's not going to be nice. It's going to
be wild. No, bossy. It's going to be
502
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:35,860
nice. Twice as nice.
40255
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