Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy, free.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye, great sky, yellow, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. It's all right.

You can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Monday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days. Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

I'm sure I just said, hey, Rog, I felt the words chip off my tongue, you know?

Sorry, Fonz, I'm really into this book.

Oh, yeah? What are you reading here?

Female psychology.

I read it.

Junk.

Got girl problems, huh? Yeah. Well, Fonz, you know how it is when you like a

girl more than she likes you.

No.

Let me tell you something. I've got some wonderful, you know, middle class

charm. You just go right over there, you say, I like you so much.

Fonz, I can't.

You got a... You got to grab that bull by the antlers.

I like two Fonz, but I don't want to be too presumptuous.

What? Presumptuous.

Oh, yeah.

Well,

let me ask you a question. When you were up there at Yale, you know, playing

basketball, would you do ask permission to take a shot? No. So what pumped you

up? What made you a crazy man?

Well, Fonz at Yale used to have this great cheer. It went like this, right?

dying to hear it.

Bulldog, bulldog, bow, wow, wow.

Here I am.

Sun, sun, be like, go through the line. This is the time we have.

and I'm going to be a crazy man.

Bulldog, bulldog. Who's going to name a bulldog Eli?

I thought I'd be spontaneous.

You spontaneous?

Yeah. If it works out, I might be spontaneous on a regular basis.

Well, this is my dad.

How do you do?

Call me Hank. Right, Hank.

And this is Guts.

Don't mind him. He's only vicious.

And big. And so are his teeth.

And listen, this dog loves me. Let me show you. Would you make a fist?

Now, pretend to hit me.

Oh, don't worry. You won't hurt me. You won't even get near me.

Guts will tear your arm out of the socket before you even stand.

See what I mean?

Oh, is that a face?

Come on, Guts. Let's go get you some raw...

Guts is like the sun he never had.

Oh, Mona, you look really pretty tonight. And I really like that scarf.

you. Listen, uh, I'm thinking maybe we could go over to my place tonight. It's

quiet. We could talk without losing a limb.

Roger, I'm sorry.

I have a date tonight.

Yeah, you have a date?

Tonight? On a school night?

Yeah, I'm just waiting for him to call me so I'll know where to meet him.

He's not picking you up?

No, he never does.

I don't believe this, Mona. I was worried about not calling you.

Roger, I'm really sorry about this.

Couldn't we make it another night?

Please. I promise to muzzle Gus.

really bad about this, but I've got to run. I hope you understand.

Oh, sure, I understand.

Johnny? Right.

Oh, Johnny!

All right, look at this.

Tonight, after Gidget grows up, she goes Hawaiian.

Boy, she can do it all, can't she?

What's bugging you?

Nothing.

It's just, I don't like to plan my social calendar by the TV guide.

Remember when we were first going out?

Every night we'd go to the movies or out to dinner.

Used to carve our initials in jello.

Joni, nobody can keep up that pace.

Movies, gifts, restaurants.

And have you seen the price of jello lately?

You know, let me tell you something.

The nice part about finding the right person is that you can just relax and

enjoy each other's company.

Wanna bet?

Johnny and Chachi, would you mind bringing in the rest of the groceries

car? Come on. We're on our way, Mrs. C.

Hey, you see that? We're going out.

I wish I had time to do my hair. Your hair looks great. Nice.

Oh, Roger, all the way home you didn't say a word. Is something the matter?

It's just girl trouble, Aunt Marianne. Then you should talk to Uncle Howard.

Uncle Howard?

Did you know that I married Howard because of his passionate nature?

And then what happened?

Oh, no, it's true.

As I can prove it to you, I'm going to show you something that I haven't shown.

No, I shouldn't.

Yes, I will.

Now,

Roger, I don't want you to tell anybody that I showed you this. Right, Ann

Marie, your secret's safe with me. We wouldn't want anybody to know that you

have one of those.

Howard's love letters.

The ones that he wrote to me when he was a cook in the army.

Sit down.

Oh, right.

Are you ready? Ready.

Because this is going to flip your switch.

Oh, this is one of my favorites. To my foo -foo butter duck.

You see, he used to call me that because... Well, never mind.

Oh, Marion. Oh, Marion.

Your name is like a clarion.

A call to love.

A call to... sing, born to earth on angels' wings.

Impossible to render due the reverence I owe to you.

My heart is servant to your eyes.

I wait upon them with my sighs.

The distance from your fiery hair is how I taste the word despair.

I draw my life from your sweet voice, which leaves my trembling heart no

but to propose unbended me and feed your mercy to such as me. Just one more

thought. Just one more line for you to ponder.

Remember,

I your poopsie am.

You will be my cunning ham.

Marion, what are you doing?

It's all right. It's only Roger and Chachi and Joni and... Marion,

how could you? You promised... Promise me you'd never show those letters to

anyone. Oh, Howard, it's been 25 years. I figured that by now... A promise is a

promise. Well, I'll swear everybody to secrecy. Let's have a show of hands

Get it.

Oh, Howard, see, they are so beautiful. I didn't think he'd mind.

Now, this one is... Marry him!

Coming, poopsie!

Poopsie?

the booties I bought him? Oh, he ate one.

He's on salad food.

I gotta run. All right, take it easy, huh? Bye -bye, Lloyd.

Hey,

Ponce, I'd like some of that coffee. Yeah, sure.

Hey, Ponce, listen, can I talk to you for a little bit? I'd like some advice

a personal problem.

Oh, absolutely, but I gotta talk to Roger first, all right? Yeah, go ahead,

ahead. I'll wait. Sure, fine. Listen, uh, Rog, make it snappy because I gotta

date myself, you know? Right.

So, from what you tell me, it sounds pretty good with this girl. I mean, you

good going out of the gate. You got overtaken on the turn. Well, yeah. I

was kissing her. The phone rings. Some other guy's calling. Next thing I know,

she's out the door like a shot.

She likes you. She runs after him. There's a reason for that. What?

I'm thinking.

All right. She runs after this guy.

Of course.

She likes the guy who takes charge. You got to lay down the law.

You lay down the law. She won't ask for you. Huh? You got to go after her.

Totch, lock up for me, will you?

Why don't you do yourself a favor and go and call her?

I don't know, Ponce. Come on, come on, come on. Call her on my phone right here

in your office, all right? All right, I'll give it a shot. Of course.

Look, if somebody cleans up, you know...

What a beautiful scar.

Mona.

Excuse me, I have to powder my nose.

Why don't you powder everything that shines?

Vance, the phone's busy.

All right, look, you gotta give it some time. Go back in there and try it again,

please. All right, one more time.

I forgot my purse. Hey, allow me.

Fonz! Fonz!

The father said she's out. She's probably with that other guy having a

time. Will you please get this other guy off your mind? He's probably some wimp

with a crew cut and a fetus cut.

You're right, Fonz. You're right. Look.

I guess I'll just go home because I'm more comfortable climbing from my house

anyway. Absolutely.

Yeah, go home, relax, take a shower. She'll come, she'll come.

See you, partner.

Yeah.

No, no.

Climbsie. More, more, more, more, more, more, more, more, more.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Action. I'll get you for this, Deputy.

Reaction. Action.

Reaction.

Action.

Reaction. And furthermore, an object in motion tends to stay in motion.

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I said I was sorry about the letters, Howard.

Why are you still upset?

Marion, if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, you'd cherish those letters for the rest

of your life, wouldn't you? Oh, why shouldn't I? They're just... They're

sentiment and love.

Yes, they are.

They're letters only you could write.

No, they're not.

I didn't write them.

Of course you did. They're all signed Love, Howard.

You remember my army buddy, Leslie Ellingsworth? He used to write poetry

army paper.

And now he writes for the monsters.

He wrote those letters for me, Marion.

Well, I feel like such a fool.

I married you because of those letters. I cherish those letters. Our marriage is

based on lies.

It's not all lies.

It was my stationery.

I'll get it. It's probably Chachi coming over to watch TV.

Oh, thank you.

Oh, my goodness, they're beautiful.

You still bring out the romance in my heart. Oh, Chacha came throughout.

What a welcome.

I think I'm going to come in again.

And now for the thank you.

Oh, Josh, they're beautiful.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

What?

The flowers you sent me, they're gorgeous.

Come on, Joanie, how could I send you these?

These must have cost 20 bucks.

I should have known they weren't from you.

You'd send a TV guide.

What kind of creep would send flowers to another guy's girl?

The kind of creep that knows how to make a girl feel special.

Oh, is that right? Yeah.

Well, let me tell you something.

Anybody can be a creep if they've got money.

But, Marion, I was young. I had no confidence. I couldn't think of words

enough for you.

Oh, it's all right, Howard. Look on the bright side.

Now you don't have to worry if you get hit by a bus.

I know I won't.

Boy, if I got a girl who's making my life miserable, who cares?

You call her?

Uh, Fonz, actually, I haven't. You haven't called, huh?

Will you get on this phone right now? Well, what am I going to say? I'll tell

you. You're going to say, look, I'm crazy about you, you're crazy about me.

Let's cut out the games. Here you go.

Dial. You're right, Fonz. That's right. You're absolutely right. I always am.

Bulldog, bulldog.

Hi,

look.

You want me bad, I know it and you know it, right? So look, drop this other guy,

be at my place in a half an hour. Right.

What'd she say?

Drop dead.

All right, so your phone personality needs a little help. Here, grab your

and let's go. What are we going to do?

You're going to this girl's house and I'm going with you. Let's go. All right.

All right, guts.

The next time the mailman comes, we're going to give him a real scare.

Just great.

Now I'm going to have to train him again.

Let me ask a question. Is your daughter around?

Yeah.

I'll call her for you.

Mona!

Mona? Yeah, Mona.

Mona!

You two know each other?

You two know each other?

You two know each other.

I hope this isn't what I think it is. I think this is exactly what you think it

is. Fonz, how could you do this to me? Hey, I was just doing it. I didn't know

was doing it to you.

Fonz, that is my girl. What am I supposed to do? Every time I meet a nice

lady, call you up and check in? Fonz, I am serious about this thing.

Hey, if you're going to cry over your Buster Browns, I can bow -wow -wow, you

know? Eli, yeah, right?

That's great. All right there, Raji. She's all yours, huh, Mona? All yours.

Gentlemen, why don't you just gift wrap me?

It's not your decision who I go out with. It's mine.

You know, the young lady is right. So sorry, Raji.

Wait a minute, Fonz. What do you mean, so sorry, Raj?

How do you know she wasn't going to pick me?

That's right. If you're going to dream, dream big.

Roger, I'm sorry.

But to tell you the truth,

I can't go out with either one of you.

It would make this situation very awkward. I'd feel self -conscious after

Thanks, Fonz.

Thanks for helping me lose my girl. You know, your behavior has been crass,

overbearing, and repugnant.

When I get to a dictionary, you're in trouble.

I can't believe this, you know. I come over here to help you with your girl,

what do I get?

Insults and infections.

What are you talking about friends? You see a friend of mine in here? I see a

crass, overweight Republican, too.

Roger, I'm really sorry about all this.

Sure, Mona, right.

You know, Mona, there's a few things I'd like to say to you first.

Which I'll just write down on a small letter. Guts, I'll call you.

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See, you got one of them things you put half an orange on, you squeeze it into

oblivion.

You mean a juicer, Fonz. Yeah, that's right.

In the top right -hand drawer, dear. Thanks very much.

Oh, Fonz.

Look, I'm glad I found you.

Look, Fonz, I had all night to think about what happened over Mona's.

I guess when I saw that you were dating Mona also, I...

I got a little crazy. A little crazy? There's a rip in your marble bag.

I guess I was just head over heels over this girl.

Well, I will discount some of them very rude things you said to me because it's

very hard to think with your head over your heels, right?

I appreciate that, Fonz.

Yeah.

I mean, I guess it was a very rough night for you. Yeah.

Yeah, listen, Raj, I know that you thought this Mona was Miss Right, you

wasn't in the car. There are millions of girls in this naked city.

She just isn't one of them.

I'll take you upstairs. I'll make you some orange juice, a little vitamin.

I like that.

Well, Alphonse, you know, you really didn't do anything to hurt me on

In fact, in fact, you tried to help. And besides, no woman, I don't care how

sexy, how beautiful, or how desirable she is, is worth breaking up a

I wouldn't say that.

Anyway.

Oh, Joanie, did you ever find out who sent you those flowers?

Nope. So far, my secret admirer is still a secret.

I know who it is.

You do?

Dad, is it cute?

Well, your mother used to think so.

Well, who is it?

Me.

You? You sent Joanie flowers?

No, Marion, I sent you flowers.

Joanie intercepted them.

Oh, Dad, this is really embarrassing.

Why did you let me think that they were from me?

Well, if I saw how happy you were, I didn't want to spoil things for you.

Well... I guess these are for you.

You still bring out the romance in my heart.

Howard.

Did you write this?

Yes.

Well, I had a little help from the sales lady.

Howard. Look, Marion, those love letters were Leslie Ellingsworth's words.

I wish they were mine.

I wish I could have written them.

They were my feelings, but I just couldn't write things like that. I was

any good at that sort of thing.

But I have tried to live them.

You have.

And what you just said is better than anything Leslie Ellingsworth ever wrote.

Hi.

Up next, Bobby falls in love with Mary from Little House on the Prairie. If

got married and started a new show, a good name would be Little Brady on the

Prairie. Stay tuned for episode 99, Never Too Young, coming up next on TV