Original subtitles

Monday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my bike will hum, ready to race to you.

These days are ours,

happy, free.

These days are ours, share them with me.

Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

So right, you can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

I am definitely not an historian.

Basketball.

Fonz, me, huh?

How's your American history at school?

Oh, Fonz, you can't believe it, Fonz.

Fonz, it is so boring.

I mean, what is history anyway?

I'll tell you what it is.

Just a bunch of dead people running around wearing funny pants. I'm going to

answering yourself pretty soon, you know that?

Let me tell you something, pal, all right? American history is my best

That's right.

President number one, George Washington. Number two, John Adams. Number three,

Thomas Jefferson.

Fonz, I believe you.

What did you stop me for? I was going to name all 25.

There's over 30.

Just wanted to see if you were on your toes, huh?

All right, all right, all right.

What's this about here? What's your essay about?

They want me to write about America being described as a melting pot. All

that's true. Without a big T. No, fine. These aren't two false questions.

I'm all ears. I'm listening.

I'm listening.

Then they want me to talk about the immigrants who migrated to America and

helped shape the backbone of our nation. They did. All right.

Then in discussing immigration, talk about the following areas.

A, economic conditions.

B, political oppression.

C, cultural influences. And D, personal hardships.

See, there's your problem in a nutshell.

What you're trying to do is squeeze all these millions of people into your

story. But you're one guy living right through it, you know?

I don't get you, Fonz.

All right.

The story Mrs. C told me about Joanie's great -great -grandmother. She's in

Ireland, right? She's got this boyfriend.

He's got to leave. He's got to leave, huh? He's got to leave his country,

everything. No job.

We're talking Ireland, 1845.

We're talking a great spud famine here.

All he had was his good looks and like a shamrock sandwich, you know?

All right.

He sails to America. Now, picture this.

He's on the dock, waiting to board the ship, right?

Okay. He's got his meager belongings wrapped up in like a handkerchief.

Take care of me, darling.

May the ferries be good to you.

I will last a year and be missing.

And I you.

I'm feeling so lonely, though I've never felt closer

to you.

Thought I could hide the pain that's inside, but

I just can't take leaving you.

In the shell, so far from the beat Long after you'll

always have me Long after you

I may not hold the warmth of your hand, but the

love in my heart will be there.

This must have been really tough.

Thank goodness we don't have any spud families.

Okay, now I understand why people came for economic reasons.

But what about the second part? What's that? Uh, political oppression.

Ah, good old P .O., huh? All right, here we go. Political oppression.

Okay, I got it.

We're in a small European town, right? 1600.

Guy sits hanging out on the street corner.

He's got himself a strawberry popsicle, right? All of a sudden, there's a parade

coming through the town.

He sees the king, right?

Talks to the guy next to him. He says, well, look at that. The king is a tubbo.

Hey, don't let your tummy hit the ground, right?

Like that. They take his popsicle, throw him in jail. They take a rat in jail.

Or you could sail to America.

Jail or America?

What kind of choice is that?

Who wouldn't choose America? Josh, let me tell you something.

Sailing to America was not a piece of cake. You know, those boats did as much

sinking as they did sailing.

Then you got disease and rats.

We're talking rats big enough you could throw a saddle on them and ride those

sons of bitches.

There's always one guy willing to take the risk to come for freedom. The

you can only get here in America.

We've got good news from the God today.

Says we can sail to the USA.

We're leaving.

I ain't getting in that creaky old boat. Because if I fall off, I don't swim or

float.

Now let's get something straight right off of the bat.

This big, I can't sleep like that.

Scared and a little too bad.

I got the immigrant.

Don't chat about this new habitat.

By calculation, the world's still black.

Stay off the edge, not the cat.

I

don't

buy it. The world is black.

Beds are cool and I can put like a...

No, girly and right.

I'm about to immigrate.

And just hold your head high.

Think positive.

For my holiday meal, details matter.

So I cook with Swanson Broth.

Made with real chicken and just the right amount of vegetables and

Swanson Broth.

Flavors in, waters out.

You kiss a scrape to make it better.

You do a little dance to make the tears stop.

You've learned a million things to help your little one.

Like what to do with the first sign of diarrhea.

You give them Pedialyte. Because soda and sports drinks can be so high in

they can make diarrhea worse.

Pedialyte has the proper balance of fluid and electrolytes to help prevent

dehydration. It's all part of a learning process that never ends.

But why would you want it to?

Use Pedialyte.

When you store food, you want to keep it fresh.

But wraps and foils can be a pain to use and don't seal well.

That's why GLAAD introduced new press and seal wraps.

Just pull.

Place and press for a spill -proof seal.

Wow. New Press and Seal Wrap doesn't just cover. It's a whole new way to

food. It's strong and stackable. Seals tight to help prevent freezer burn and

protect in the microwave.

So try new Glad Press and Seal Wrap to seal in freshness in a whole new way.

Do you believe in Santa Claus?

Absolutely. He helped me pick this up.

This holiday, how can you possibly thank the woman who always believed in you?

The Leo Diamond, handcrafted by the artisans at Leo Schachter. The first

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Can I give you folks a lift?

Every kiss begins with Kay.

It's your last weekend to shop before Christmas. Come to Kohl's this Friday

Saturday and take 50 % off all sleepwear, loungewear, and robes, all

a great selection of kitchen electric.

Don't miss your last weekend to shop before Christmas.

Kohl's. Give happy, get happy.

You're making this stuff come alive.

I make a lot of things come alive.

All right, now we're up to, let's see, see.

Cultural and social influences of the immigrants on America.

Oh, yeah, well, that means where they brought their lifestyle over here when

they came.

Well, like what?

Well, like what? Like, from France, we got French toast.

From Rome, we got Romanians.

From Sweden, we got... I don't think that's what they mean.

I don't either.

No, what does it mean?

It means that when they came over here, they brought their music, their arts,

their crafts, their fun.

Immigrants have fun. Is that a giraffe? No, it's a tiger. That's all right.

And things were tough. And things got tough.

Their culture was like a source of strength for them, you know?

I would like to say something. So would I.

This is America.

Dad, it's the 20th century.

Would you make us get dressed up like this?

This is a day of celebration.

It's a great day.

It's the day that we traditionally dress like this. It's the family.

Look, we're Americans, but we keep our customs.

A toast.

To my home and family.

A toast to our hope and pride.

A toast to my two lovely girls whose

day was magnificent

in America.

Landed a big job today, landed a big job today. A whole lot of work, not much

pay. A whole lot of work, not much pay. Someday I'll own my own. Someday I'll

own my own cafe.

New America.

Can't be but New America.

There's no place like New America.

I started my first day at school. I started my first day at school. I met a

He's beautiful.

I met a boy. He's beautiful.

Never thought I'd find a guy. Never thought I'd find a guy so cool.

Yeah. What does that mean? That means keep writing here in Milwaukee.

I'll tell you something, you're really getting at stuff. Oh, yeah, and I'm

beginning to like it. Yeah, just don't ask me about algebra. No, I'm cool with

algebra.

All right, Fonz, we've got one left.

Uh, personal hardships.

Personal hardships.

All right.

All right, uh, Roger's grandfather came over here from Russia.

Russia? Yeah. I thought he was Irish. No, no, no, that was his mother's side.

We're talking his mother's side. Oh.

They wanted their son to get here to America to start a new life.

Maybe get a new name they could spell.

Of course.

Did he make it?

Yeah, you bet he did. They snuck him on the bottom of a borscht wagon.

Then he got to the border and he walked like weeks and weeks and weeks to the

Atlantic Ocean.

That's unbelievable.

Yeah. When you think about it, what is harder than leaving your family forever?

And I mean ever.

You remember to hide in the wagon. When you get to the border, stay off the

beaten path.

Yes, Papa.

Now, it's a good two weeks to the border, so if you have to go to the

you better go now.

Are you scared, my son?

Yes, I'm scared.

But I'm excited, too.

What am I to be?

What's in my life for me?

What can I do that no man has done?

What will my life bring me?

In America, America Shine bright on me, America

I'm gonna hitch my wagon to your star

America, America I'm betting on

America

Spreading in my memories.

For a chance for me to soar in America.

America. Shine bright on me, America.

Gonna hitch my wagon to your star.

Your star.

I love you, son.

And I love you, Dad.

You're the best thing.

that we've had but you've got to hitch your

wagon to that star i've

gotta hitch my wagon to that

you're

gonna make it gonna make it gonna make it big

In America, you're gonna make it, gonna make it, gonna make your mark.

In America, you're gonna make it, gonna make it, gonna make your life.

In America, in America, you'll be

big.

I'm gonna make it, gonna make it, gonna make it big.

In America, you're going to make it, going to make it, going to make it safe

to America.

You're going to make it, going to make it, going to make it safe in America.

You're going to make it, going to make it, going to make it safe.

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And music's most distinct diva.

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That's 1 -800 -298 -0389.

I guess that means we have some relatives that came over from Italy,

No, we were all planted here by Johnny Appleseed.

Of course, of course. What about Uncle Giovanni? Who?

All right, Uncle Giuseppe. Oh, I know him. Yeah, right. He came over on the

in 1904.

He had popcorn boxes in the bottom of his shoes because he got holes in them.

You know that people today are still coming here to America, the land of milk

and honey?

My store.

Even got my name on it, huh?

Hi, son.

This is something to be proud of.

I'm proud.

One day I'm going to have a different kind of store, maybe one without a wheel

and a wall. I'll have a wall, a door, maybe a bathroom.

Yeah, and why? Because in America, the place you could start with nothing and

you end up with something, huh?

You'll see to me.

You know what America is?

You can stand on a soapbox, you could be different, you could speak your mind.

You can have the courage to act out your own convictions.

That's true. You know what America is? America is John F. Kennedy.

Don't ask what your country could do for you. You ask what you could do for your

country.

It's Ben Franklin.

God helps those who help themselves.

That's what America is.

America is Jesse Owens climbing with me to the summit of this mountain higher

and higher.

It's the body.

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.

And America is Irving Berlin.

God bless America. Oh, God bless America.

Let's say something else. America is also the Lone Ranger. Go for all the

cookies, Santo.

That's right.

And Martin Luther King.

I have a dream.

That's what America is.

What do all these people I talk about, what do they have in common? They had

good hopes. They had high hopes. They had positive hopes.

Because you've got to think positive.

Let's hold your feet and just hold your head high. Click my dick. Click my dick.

So you gotta pay.

Think all Brady Bunch episodes come complete with a neat and tidy happy

Before you answer that question, watch this episode. It just may surprise you.

Stay tuned for episode 92 of the Brady Bunch on TV Land.