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Sunday, Monday, happy days.
Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.
Thursday, Friday, happy days. The weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to
you.
These days are ours,
happy, free.
These days are ours, share them with me.
Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.
There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.
So right, you can't be wrong.
Rockin' and rollin' all week long.
Monday,
Monday, happy days.
Tuesday, Wednesday days.
Thursday, Friday, happy days.
Saturday, what a day.
Roomin' all week with you.
are yours to buy.
My name's Eddie Monroe.
I'm a basketball scout for Eastern Florida University.
Really? You graduate in June, right? Right.
You play a good game, kid.
Oh, thanks.
You know, I can play even better, but I'm breaking in a new pair of socks.
You did just fine.
Listen, have you talked to any other scouts?
Oh, are you kidding me? Plenty of them.
Well, uh, one.
See, the other guy was from the University of Arkansas.
Oh, nice.
Nice school, but you know it is in Arkansas.
Yeah, he was very honest about that.
Well, now, Florida, you know, you got sand, you lay around in the sand, you
palm trees, beach parties, pretty little bikinis going by with girls in them.
Those are the best kind.
What about your grades?
What about them?
Well, I've seen them and they're a little shaky.
Well, maybe a little shaky.
Why, does that bother you?
Well, let me put it this way. It doesn't bother me as much as it would bother
Arkansas.
You see, we at EFU know how to handle a student in your situation who may be
academically disadvantaged.
Are you talking about a scholarship?
You got it, kid.
Chachi, come on. Come on. We're going to celebrate. Oh, okay.
Who's that, your girl? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Isn't she great?
What a face.
You know, I'd hate to leave her behind to go to Florida.
I mean, if I left her for four years, she's liable to date.
Who's going to Florida?
Your boyfriend.
You are.
Where are you going to college?
I don't know. What's your name? Joanie.
Joanie, how would you like to go to college in Florida?
Florida? Oh, sure would be a lot warmer than in Milwaukee.
That's right.
You're a very intelligent girl.
How would you like a scholarship? A scholarship?
Oh.
What for?
Listen, we'll work something out. Leave it up to me, okay? We'll be in touch.
This is so exciting, Judge.
Come on, come on. The gang's waiting for us at Arnold. All right, let's go
celebrate. All right. Nice talking to you. Nice talking to you.
See you later.
Judge, a basketball scholarship. Oh, and Florida.
I'll see you in a few minutes, okay? Yeah, I'll meet you outside the gym,
Hey,
Frank, this is Eddie.
Yeah, I'm in Milwaukee.
Yeah, I saw the kid. He's good, all right. Yeah, I think I can get him.
Yeah, I know I said that about the other kids, but this kid's different.
Yeah, he's eating it up.
What do you mean it's my last chance?
Frank, I'll get him. No matter what, I'll get him.
I'll get him.
Mom, Dad, I got a scholarship to college. No.
Yes. What?
Where? Where? Wow. Okay, I got a scholarship to Eastern Florida
Oh, that's a big school. What kind of a scholarship?
Cheerleading.
How nice.
Cheerleading? You got a cheerleading scholarship?
Yes. That college scout that's been talking to Chachi also recruits
cheerleaders. You're going to go to college on boom -a -locka, boom -a
Boom -a -locka, boom -a -locka. Well, I wouldn't have gotten a chance if it
wasn't for Chachi. And you know what they say.
It's not what you know, it's...
you know.
I don't understand this whole thing.
Howard, that scholarship means that we're going to save $2 ,000 a year.
That part I understand.
Hey, Mr. C, I am excited.
What is your question?
You hear what happened to my baby cousin?
on a basketball scholarship.
And everybody said when he was dribbling that little ball around that he was
just goofing off. Yeah, that's right.
Including you, Fonz. I was only repeating what I heard.
Part of the deal is Johnny's cheerleading scholarship.
Isn't this exciting? We're going to go to college together, Chuck.
Hey, Chuck, didn't they say anything about your grades?
Oh, yeah, but Eddie, oh, that's the recruiter, he says all I have to do is
the entrance exam and I'm in. He's in. And he's got a great campus job lined up
for me. Oh, really? What's the job?
You ready for this? Yeah. My job is to turn the lights on at the football
stadium.
200 bucks a week.
Wow.
200 bucks for turning on the lights? There must be a lot of lights.
We're talking a load of lights. You know, and a great responsibility. You
play football in a dog.
And Eddie's even loaned me a car to get back and forth to the stadium. Oh, and a
scholarship for Joanie.
There's just so much to do. I'm going to start throwing those little name tags
in all your clothes. Oh,
we could take a trip and see the campus. I'm going to go upstairs and I'm going
to call Grandma Kelp.
Joanie is going to college with Chachi.
We should have a little talk before you go.
What do you say we go out, huh? I got Eddie's car and he even gave me
an advance.
On laundry money.
Really? Well, how much of an advance?
A hundred little Georges. A hundred dollars for laundry.
Boy, I'm in the wrong business.
Wait a minute. Get over here.
Give your cousin a hug.
I'm so proud of you. I'm so proud of him, you know.
Boy, oh boy, what a day.
Yeah. They both got scholarships.
I saved about $8 ,000.
Josh, he's got a car. an easy job, a pocket full of money?
This is all wrong, isn't it, Roger? I'm afraid so. I know it's too good to be
true. What are you talking about, too good to be true? What are you talking
about? Look, Fonz, colleges are allowed to give athletes tuition, books, and $10
a month for laundry.
Who made up those silly rules? The kid's got talent, you can pay for talent,
that's the American way.
Fonzie, don't you think this whole thing is taking on a strange aroma?
I mean, you must admit, a cheerleading scholarship for Joanie is...
Somewhat out of the ordinary.
No, I don't. The girl is gifted. It is very hard to jump and spell at the same
time.
That's not quite the point I was making. No, I'll tell you what the point is,
Mr. C. The point is that this college has a heart. You know what I mean?
They're trying not to break up the little lovebirds.
Did you ever meet a college with a heart before?
Great. And where's Chachi gonna be when he gets out of school? You tell me where
he's gonna find a job turning on and off the lights. You know, I'll tell you
something. I can't believe this.
That's four years away. He's going to have a college education by then. He'll
get a great job.
Great. Great education.
He'll be taking those Mickey Mouse classes like famous referees.
History of sneakers.
You know, you're making my ears drum.
If the man has to take an entrance exam, that means that he is smart enough to
get in and get out.
By the time he gets out, he'll have a good job. And he's going to pass that
test. Out of my way.
Of course.
You know, Raji, you're jealous.
How come you're always taking Metamucil? So it won't get thick and gritty. Mommy
doesn't, Dad. I found an easier way to take fiber.
Betafiber. It never gets thick like Metamucil can.
It's taste -free, too.
Smart Mommy.
Betafiber. The choice is clear.
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I found my green.
Oh, blueberry. Hey, Judge, how you doing?
He's in a lot of trouble. Oh, would you look at these problems?
This stuff is murder.
Murder.
Let's see. If one boy mows 10 square yards, he gets $8 .45.
You got that.
So if two boys mow three acres, what do they get?
Tired?
Chachi, you wrote tired?
Hey, what up, windy coach?
Come on, Lori Beth, back to work.
Chachi, you wrote tired? I thought I might get extra credit for humor.
Think again. Look, keep studying, Chachi, all right?
Hotshot, how are you doing on that sample test?
Eddie, I think I should level with you.
You see, when I was younger, like last year, I didn't study that much.
As a matter of fact, I didn't study at all.
I wish I had.
Well, how many of those questions did you get wrong?
About half.
Well, that's not so bad.
I only did half.
I guess I don't get to go to college, huh?
Nah, not necessarily.
You're probably what we call an ALB.
What's that?
An academic late bloomer.
That's the type of guy who's not ready for college right now, but in a couple
years will probably be a genius.
You think so?
I can tell.
Now, what we have at old EFU for the ALB is the DSA.
Do you understand that?
N -O -D -S -A.
Deferred Scholastic Achievement. It's a plan to help people just like you.
You see, you don't have to take your entrance exam right now until you get
degree. That way it takes the pressure off.
I like that plan. It's a good plan.
Hey, listen, why don't you go out and have some fun? All right. Hey, did you
bring your birth certificate?
Oh, yeah, my, uh, B .C., right?
Hey, very clever. You're going to do real well in college.
Listen, what do you want?
Well, I'm going to have to make a copy of this for EFU. You know, clerical
stuff. I'll get it back to you in the morning. Oh, fine, whatever.
You know something, Eddie?
I really feel like you're my pal.
Well, at old EFU, when you say Eddie, you're saying pal.
See you later, pal.
Morty, I'm going to need you to take a test for a kid.
You'll get the usual.
So how well do you want this kid to do, huh?
Genius or just a slip -by?
I want him to do very well. Here's his birth certificate.
He wrote...
What a BB brain.
Roger Phillips, basketball coach at Jefferson High. Hello, Eddie Monroe.
I understand you've been talking to Chachi about scholarships.
You should have talked to me first. I'm his coach.
Yeah, well, I meant to talk to you, Coach, but I wanted to clear the air
Chachi first.
That's all right. Where is Chachi? He was just here studying. Oh, well, he
finished up. You know, he's a bright kid.
He doesn't have to study anymore.
Is that so?
I love your confidence.
Are you kidding? It's not cool a kid could pass this test with his eyes
You know, I've been meaning to tell you, Coach, I like your team. I like your
colors. As a matter of fact, I like your tie.
I like it the other night, too.
Good color.
Hey, where's Chachi? I brought him a snack to help him study.
I guess he feels adequately prepared.
Well, look, I got to go. I got a date tonight. I forgot to get flowers.
I'll see you. Yeah.
You know what I'm going to do, Lori Beth?
I'm going to go down to that test center tomorrow morning and wish Chach good
luck. It's the least I could do, right?
Yeah. Well, we'll see you.
It's Steve!
Steve!
They went out to dinner. I'm the only one here. Well, that's good, because I
some good news. You know I got anxious, right?
So I called that testing place. They tell me that Chachi passed the test with
flying colors. You hear me?
Flying. We're talking to Wright brothers.
I'm telling you that they were in a frenzy over his score. The woman on the
phone was in tears. She said the man is a genius.
Except he has to lose a little weight. I don't know what that means. I'll tell
you what it means.
I'll tell you what it means, Fonz.
It means that Chachi didn't take that test.
Another kid took it for him.
You don't lose very graciously, do you?
Fonz, I went down there to where they were taking the test. Yes. Just to wish
Chachi some good luck. Yeah.
Only Chachi wasn't Chachi. When they called out his name, this little round
raised his hand.
Why didn't you tell me this sooner?
Fonzarelli, communication is impeded when the person with whom you were
to communicate is not so disposed.
One more time.
Fonz, you wouldn't listen.
We're talking major cheating here. Major.
How could Chachi do this? What, has he got animal crackers for brains?
Who is it?
Come in.
Hey, Fonz. Hi, Coach.
You guys see Joanie around?
No, she went with Jenny to watch her brother wrestle.
Oh.
Jenny's brother is crazy.
You know, one of these nights, that alligator's going to win.
Yeah.
You and me have got to have a little talk.
Scratch that. I'll talk. You listen. Sit down.
Somebody took an entrance exam for college, and it wasn't you.
What? That's right, I went down there and I know you didn't take it yourself.
Yeah, listen, no, this is family stuff, you know, kind of private. You want to
leave us alone? Oh, I'll go get a little cake. Yeah, true, don't listen, huh?
Right. Nice time.
You cheated.
What are you talking about?
Eddie said I didn't have to take the test.
Oh, they're going to make an exception for you, right? They're going to let you
in on your good looks. Look, Fonz, Eddie says I'm part of this new thing they
got. They call it the future genius program.
Future genius?
What are they talking about?
Way in the future? Look, Fonz, I'm sure Eddie wouldn't do anything that wasn't
okay. He's my buddy. You're making me crazy with this, Eddie. This school is a
ripoff. They let a little round kid take a test for you. You ain't going to a
crooked school.
I'm going.
You're not going. Hold it. Time out here.
What did you just say to me? Look, Fonz, I'm sure everything is okay.
Is it okay to let another kid take your test?
Another kid took my test? Oh, now we start to listen to him.
Well, Eddie probably set it up, but don't worry about it, Fonz.
You know what it's like? Yeah. It's like an assistant basketball, right?
Now, one guy feeds another guy the ball, and he makes the basket.
The school just gave me an assist. Your brain needs an assist. There's something
wrong with this. I don't know what it is yet, but I'll figure it out. Well, you
won't figure this out.
I got a scholarship, and I'm going to EFU. Well, you're going to get very
then. Why is that? Because you can't eat without teeth.
That's your coldest cousin. Hey, buddy, I can't see.
There's nothing to see. When there's something to see, you'll see, all right?
Hey, it's nice meeting you. You ought to be very proud of your cousin. He's got
16 points.
Don't talk to me about 16 points. I'll take 16 points of your body and make
black and blue.
You cheated my cousin into your school.
Didn't he tell you about being an academic late bloomer?
I'm talking cheaters, not bloomers.
Hey, what do you want from me? If you don't want him to go, he doesn't have to
go. But he said he wanted to go.
You're 17 years old. How many 17 -year -olds do you know that are mature enough
to say, went ahead of the world on a plate? No, no, no. It's all right. I'll
take it the hard way. Hey, I happen to have confidence that the 17 -year -old
kids know their own minds. Maybe I have more faith in the youth of America than
you do.
You know, you're amazing.
You make it come in poison ivy, come out smell like a rose.
Let me tell you something. Hey, why don't you sit down? You're spoiling a
view.
One, two, three. Jackson!
Back on the court.
Here's the ball.
That's the hill.
That's the hill.
Arcola steals the ball. Arcola!
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All right, what's the story, Doc?
Well, I think some ligaments have been torn away.
Yeah, so bad?
I don't think he'll be playing for a long time.
But, Doc, after all that, will I have 100 % use of my ankle?
Well, I can't be sure.
I hope so.
Look, meet me in my office tomorrow. We'll x -ray him, okay?
You better take good care of him.
You know I will.
I'll see you after the shot. I feel so bad.
Uh, kid, this may seem like a lousy time for this bit of news, but there was a
problem with your entrance exam.
What problem?
Well, it seems that he had some other kid take his test for him.
I didn't. You did.
I don't recall that. Look, I'm going to have to go back to Florida, and they'll
decide whether this young man tried to cheat on his exam.
It may take a good while to make that decision.
All right, wait a minute. What you're really saying is you're going to wait to
see if this ankle heals, right?
Well, that's your opinion.
You want my opinion?
As far as you hold my jacket, I'm going to give this guy my opinion.
right now, okay? What's your opinion? Do you want this opinion?
Do you want this opinion?
Let me get one shot.
You want to know something? I have never seen this man come up to violence.
You know what kind of sleazebag you must be to get him to this point?
You know, I'm crazy about you. I really am, you know? You pump these kids full
of sunshine.
You eat them up and you spit them out, you know?
Come here for a minute. I'm talking about spitting it out.
Hey, now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. This isn't my fault. This is a business.
This is the way it's done.
There's a hundred guys all over the country doing the same thing.
Yeah, and there's hundreds of guys out there doing it right, too.
I'm going to report you to the NCAA.
There's too much talking. Not enough hitting. All right, all right, all
Why don't you just find yourself right off campus, all right?
All right?
Hey, kid, I hope your ankle heals.
that you wanted to take care of here for four years, huh?
Fonce, it's all my fault.
I let that guy tell me things I knew were wrong.
Only because I liked what he was telling me.
Most important thing is you realize that now, I mean, the guy was a smoothie,
you know. Right.
Charge that ankle, Hill. There'll be other scouts. But what if they don't
my grade?
Hey, this is my kid.
You go to junior college, you get your grades up. Yeah, listen to him. He knows
what he's talking about.
What are we sitting around here for? A hundred people waiting in honors for a
victory party. Okay, let's go. Yeah.
Now I gotta tell you something.
Very impressive about how tough you got, you know? Yeah. I don't like to show
that side of me, Fox.
I could be an animal.
Yes, I know.
Come on. What?
Oh,
I almost forgot.
Where are you going?
I got to go back to the locker room. The guys are going to throw me in the
showers. Ah.
It's a tradition.
See you, Chuck.
I'm going to miss that.
They left me all alone here.
I can hardly walk.
I was waiting for you outside.
What did the doctor say about your ankle?
Well, he said it would be all right after a while.
Look, uh, Joanie, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to get you at the EFU.
Oh, that's all right. My dad was a little down on that anyway.
And they're going to be laid up for a while, so I can't go to the party
Well, that's okay.
I'll get it right from somebody else.
What?
I'm just kidding.
Did it hurt? Oh, a little bit.
Do you want to know something?
What?
We are all alone here.
We are.
Next up, I Dream of Jeannie.
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