Original subtitles

Monday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

I've been free.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye gray sky, hello blue.

There's nothing can hold me what I hold you.

It's all right. You can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all these flowers.

Monday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are all right.

Oh, hey, we can go see the block.

Is it any good?

Yeah, I saw the movie. It's about a big ball of icky, icky.

It's disgusting.

It rolls all over town. Just rocks up everything inside.

It's fine.

What are you guys going to have to eat?

I'll pass, Al. Give me the same, Al. Whatever you do, don't go see Psycho.

not? Clarence thought he hasn't taken a shower since.

He bathes in the sink.

All right, Clancy, which

one? How about the girl by the jukebox?

14 feet, 6 inches.

How you doing? A little date night right here in the old mall shop, huh?

I want to tell you something, old Rockwell saw your two little American

he put you right on the cover of Saturday Evening Post.

Yeah?

What are Potts and his friends doing?

All right, Potts, come here, talk to him, yeah?

Well, you see, I'm doing the study on Fonzie's power over women.

I'm either going to call it exceptional extrasensory attraction capabilities of

homo sapiens, or how to pick up girls.

Thank you. Yeah.

I'm talking, it's a bother here, you understand?

I mean, my name could go right up there, you know, like Louis Pasteur. Oh, yeah?

Yeah, the man who invented milk.

Yeah, I'll see you later, all right?

Hey, Chachi, let's forget the movie.

Why don't you come over to my house and we'll watch TV?

Oh, great.

Oh, but I second thought I'd better not.

Your father's been dropping hints lately that I shouldn't come over so much.

Hints? Like what?

Oh, like when he said, Chachi, don't come over so much.

Let's go over to your house and watch TV.

Oh, no, we can't. Why?

My TV's broken.

You said you watched the basketball game last night. Look, Joanie, I just want

to see a movie, all right? Is that all right with you?

Well, what's wrong with you? I travel in paradise.

Jenny, we're having a discussion.

A private one.

I know. Some people around here are just so nosy.

Go on.

You know, we've been going out a year, and I've never once been to your house.

What? Johnny, you've been to my house. When? Yeah. Name one time. Just one.

Just last week. We doubled with Tony and Gloria, and I had to go back home

because I forgot my wallet. Remember? Yeah, and you made us all sit in the

So? You made her sit in the car. Yeah.

Oh, that's disgraceful.

Look, inside or outside, what's the difference? You were at my house.

I've never met your mother.

You have never introduced her to your mother.

You know, that's just rude.

Jenny, don't you have something else to do? No.

Didn't the fleet get in yet? Not until tomorrow at nine.

Come to think of it, it's not so unusual that he hasn't introduced you to his

mom. I've been dating Eugene and he hasn't met my parents yet.

Thank you, Jenny. There, you see that?

Well, why haven't you introduced him to your parents?

Because I'm ashamed of him.

You know something?

If you start swimming now, you can meet the fleet early.

I was just trying to help.

Solve your own problem. Thank you.

felt this way.

What way?

How long have you been ashamed of me?

Johnny, I'm not ashamed of you, okay? You're getting emotional.

I am not getting emotional.

All right? If you're not ashamed of me, then introduce me to your mother. I'm

not ashamed of you. I'm here with you in public, aren't I?

I mean, I haven't asked you to wear a bag over your head. A bag over your

Here's your ring.

Listen, if you're too ashamed of me, then we have no relationship.

Goodbye.

Johnny, wait.

This is yours. I never gave you a ring.

That figures.

Why would you give a ring to someone you're ashamed of?

Nice going, Romeo.

Here you are. All right, come here, sweetheart.

I heard the whole story you broke up with Chachi, right? That's right.

I can't believe what a bonehead he is. Here is everything. Hold it, hold it,

hold it.

Details like that don't mean nothing.

How are you doing?

School research, fine.

This has nothing to do with me and chicks. It has to do with me and

alone.

Shortcake's a chick.

Yes, that is right. You see how much you learned in one night.

Take a break, all right?

This is Patsy Weber, signing off from the frontiers of science.

Come on, guys.

I forgot to put the tape in again.

We got it.

We got broken romance, right? Romance on the rocks. Tell me what it was. You

didn't like your dress.

He didn't take you to a place you wanted to go. He got fresh with you. You told

me I'd take care of it. None of the above.

How about this? Yeah. Your cousin, Chachi, is ashamed of me. No, come on.

know that after a year, he still refuses to let me come to his house or to

introduce me to his own mother?

Let me get this straight. You never met my Aunt Louisa?

Is that her name?

You know what kills me?

Here are these guys here from college. They're researching me for science.

I got a cousin who don't take the benefit of knowing me in person. Where

Fonzarelli finesse, you know? No idea.

Hey, sweetie, plan what security is for you, all right? Really?

Give me a kiss right there. Yeah. Thanks.

Hey,

Chachi, you see my cleats?

Yeah. Yeah, right here with the gonzo.

Okay. Who's game today?

Hey, we're playing Army.

President Coolidge is going to be there. Oh.

walnuts. Can't have a game without walnuts.

Let's go.

Hey, good pets.

See you later.

Hey,

Fonz. Yeah, how's it going? How's it going here?

Did you speak to John here? Of course I spoke to John. And you fixed things up?

Yeah. Oh, that's great.

No, he's great. You're great.

Where's Uncle Gonzo? Where else? Of course.

Hey, Gonzo.

Hey, Fonz. How's the game?

Hasn't started yet. The referees haven't shown up. All right, no long pets.

You understand?

Is he dressed?

Yeah. See, he's getting better.

How'd you fix things up with me and Joanie? Well, very simple. I asked them

to come over here tomorrow night for dinner.

Here? Yeah. For dinner? Yeah.

During my lifetime?

Yeah. Are you crazy? They can't come here for dinner? Why not?

Because.

Because my mother's having surgery.

Hey, Louise, is it sick? Oh, did I say surgery? I meant a bridge party.

A bridge party? Yeah, you see...

A bridge party made up of some of her friends who've had surgery. That's why I

got confused.

Very natural mistake. So it can't be tomorrow night. Maybe some other time.

handle all the details. Bye, Ponce. Bye.

Fonzie! Anne -Louise!

You look very healthy. Oh, come on. I look awful. Are you kidding?

That Ponce -y Weber called me downstairs to his apartment to help him fix his

garbage disposal.

I explained to him he doesn't have a garbage disposal.

Taste this honey here. Yeah, it's delicious.

It's great. I love it.

Anyhow, Patsy's cramming garbage down his thing and turning the light on and

waiting for things to happen.

I'm telling you, managing an apartment building is not all glamour. Oh, Mom,

I'll do that.

Oh, is this a face, huh? Is this a face? Look, this is also a face? Yeah.

I got faces. I gotta ask you, are you busy tomorrow night? Of course I am.

I'm having tea with the queen.

Yeah. Good.

Listen, I took the liberty of inviting all the Cunninghams over here tomorrow

night at 7 o 'clock for dinner.

Wonderful. I've been trying to get shot to do that for a year. I'll be right

back. All right.

I'm back.

You haven't eaten yet, have you? No, but I haven't eaten. Now you've got to have

a little something. Come on, come on. You've got to eat a little something. If

you don't, you'll get sick. You know, you won't feel good. Come on. Sit down.

There you go.

There you go. Eat.

You know what?

I'm so excited. A girlfriend and her family are coming over. Oh, boy. I know

just what I'm going to wear.

Is that enough?

One.

Oh, this will be great.

Joanie's going to bring her parents here to meet my mother.

And my mother will talk about fixing people's toilets.

And then, then they'll get to meet Uncle Gonzo.

So what, is it where it got?

Fonz, the man is on the roof waiting for new Rockne.

He's not playing with a full deck fine, but he's going to be here to party, I

promise. Fonz, I don't want a man running around here like a lunatic

I've got to win one for the Gipper.

I love it when he does that.

Fonz, you know, he leaves his one with shells all over the place. You know how

that looks?

And then, then Mr. C will say, oh.

And where's Chachi's room?

And my mother will say, you're eating in it.

You know, I'm getting a picture.

You're not really ashamed of Joanie, are you? It's just your mother, where you

live, your family. It's great.

Fonz, it's just that... I mean, they cut camps like father knows best.

Yeah? They have a perfect life.

Richie's got his own room, and he doesn't even live there anymore.

Me? I got an uncle that sits around in his underwear all day, breaking walnuts

on his head.

We'll be right back.

I'm back.

Let me tell you something.

You're ashamed of being poor. That's exactly right. And I want to say

else. I'm ashamed of you.

You got a mother. You got an uncle. You got a mother. You got a roof over your

head.

And everything is going to be fine unless you blow it.

All right, Fonz. I'll do my best. That's what I want to hear.

That's the cousin I love.

What's the worst that could happen?

He's here.

He's here.

Go track me. He's here. I'm coming, Coach.

years he played football, he should have worn a helmet.

He'll be all right, I think, Kelly. I promise. I promise he'll be good.

Andy Griffith, your show's been on TV line to 10 p .m. long enough.

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Yeah, you big dummy. Easy, Fred.

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How's the spaghetti sauce, honey?

Oh, it's good.

But you know what, Mom? I think it might be a little too spicy for the

Cunninghams. See, they mostly have meat and potatoes.

Oh, honey, relax.

They're just people. They put their pants on one leg at a time, just like

everybody else.

Besides, that's my special sauce.

Let's see. Me, Joey, Joey. Oh, I'm still short of chair.

I took my vest off so it would look like I have another suit.

I wish I had another suit.

Josh, you can't get rid of that suit. You just grew into it.

Mom. Mom, what is that?

A chair. I got ingenuity. Mom, it's not a chair. It's an end table. That's

perfect. It's right at the end of the table.

Glasses, plates, chairs. Mom, nothing matches.

Nice variety, huh?

Nice. It looks like the back room of a pawn shop.

They'll think they're having dinner at a garage sale.

It's all you've got.

What's the difference? A plate is a plate. A glass is a glass.

It doesn't matter.

They're coming here to have food and meet your family.

I forgot Uncle Gonzo. I need one more chair.

Oh. Tell Luganzo he's got to wear his pants to dinner tonight.

Luganzo's not going to be here. I sent him to the movies.

You gave Luganzo money?

Mom,

he'll be all right. You've given him money before.

He spends it all on walnuts. I know.

All right, you stir this off and put my nice dress on.

Hi, kiddo, what's up? Oh, that's nice.

Luganzo!

What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the movies. He didn't give me

enough money.

You blew it on walnuts, didn't you?

What's a movie without walnuts, huh?

Want some? No, Uncle Gonzo, we're having dinner.

Look, I'll tell you what. I'll give you all the money, all right?

Now, please, just promise me you'll go straight to the movie. There you go. All

right, let's hurry up or you'll miss the cartoon.

Okay. Oh, what's playing?

Roadrunner. Hey, that's my favorite.

Beep, beep.

Chach?

Oh, Mom, you look great.

Oh, thanks.

Probably Uncle Gonzo.

Okay.

What, more walnuts?

Oh, hi.

There was a walnut salesman here a minute ago. A real pushy guy. Oh, that

have been that strange man we saw coming in.

He broke one open on my head.

Chachi, Chachi, where are your manners? Invite them in. Oh, come on in.

Mr.

and Mrs. Cunningham, this is my mom, Louisa.

Oh, hi. How do you do? I've heard so much about you. And this is, uh...

Oh, Joanie, you're beautiful.

Oh, we've got another face here.

This is not the type of family that squeezes faces.

It's so nice to meet you. This is our call. Oh, thank you. Oh, please call me

Louisa. Everybody calls me Louisa. I'll call you Howard. I'll call you Marion.

You're a cute couple.

I've just got to squeeze on the face.

What about the sauce?

Oh, sure.

Anyone want a drink? No, Mom, I make the meat sauce.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, come here, come here. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know, just when Chachi's

father, rest his soul, used to come in, the first thing he'd say was, Hey,

Louisa, where's the sauce?

Oh, the man had no manners.

But boy, could he kiss.

Chachi, he could.

Marry him. You know what I mean.

You know what? Let's sit down. Come on, come on. You sit, you sit.

Oh, be comfortable. Come on. Over here. Come on, Chachi, sit down.

Sit, sit.

Good, good.

Oh, I wish I had a camera.

Oh, it's boiling. It's ready. Oh, soup's on.

Oh, I love soup, soup.

Oh,

we're not having soup. We're having spaghetti.

Soup's on is an expression I learned when I was working at a logging camp.

Where would you like us to sit? Oh, you sit at the head of the table. Oh, that's

nice.

Here we go.

You know, Chachi's worried about the plates don't match.

I say a plate is a plate. Am I right?

We say that all the time.

Yes, we do.

I don't know why we haven't done this before. This is great.

Yeah, I'm tickled to death.

Okay, everybody, come on, dig in. I hope you like it. Oh, we will, won't we,

Howard? Oh, boy, we're going to love it.

It's my special sauce. It's a little spicy.

Oh, we love spicy.

I'll take the bread. We love bread.

Oh, Louisa, this is just great.

Oh, it looks delicious.

Well, that's my mom, a great cook.

wrong with you?

There's cayenne pepper in this.

Well, you're allergic to cayenne.

I know that, Howard. Cayenne pepper makes you sick. I know that, Howard.

not make a fuss.

Well, here, drink some water.

That was wine, wasn't it?

Yes, would you like some more? Oh, no.

Thank you so much.

Where's the...

right through there.

Oh, here, let me help you. You've got to keep the door shut with your foot.

She reacts to certain seasonings, but the food is delicious.

She was too spicy, Mom.

Oh, Howard, you just go back and sit down.

Don't you want me to come with you? Trust me, dear, this is an experience we

can't share.

She'll be out in just a few minutes.

I've seen the movie and the cartoon.

That's the guy.

Uncle Gonzo, this is Mr.

Cunningham and his beautiful daughter, Joanie. Hey, you're a pretty big guy.

You ever play football?

Oh, a little bit in high school, yeah. Oh, good. Suit up. You're going in for

Zambrowski.

I'm going to what?

You're going in for Zambrowski.

You're going to have to excuse Uncle Gonzo. He played football with the

Bulldogs. And never once did I wear a helmet.

Of course not.

Gonzo, the Cunninghams came here to eat dinner.

Nice, how nice.

Pleasure to meet you. Thank you. Now tackle me.

Take the blow, I'll tackle you.

We

have

a great dessert.

You're a doll.

I only got one more chair to take back. That Mrs. Johnson's so generous, she's

been standing up playing bridge all night.

All right, I forgot. I'll be up in a little while.

Do you see now why I didn't want you over my house?

No. Boy, isn't it hard keeping the door closed with your foot?

Mom, how are you feeling? Oh, so much better.

Oh, I'm just so embarrassed. I just ruined your mother's party.

The minute she mentioned Spice Day, I should have told her about my allergy. I

hope she'll forgive me.

Or forgive you.

This whole evening has been a disaster.

Oh, no, it hasn't. Your mother is the most charming woman. I'm just so glad I

met her. Thanks, Mrs.

Where's Gonzo?

He's up on the roof changing the scoreboard.

See, I'm sorry about Uncle Gonzo and tackling it. Oh, don't be, Chachi.

Look, he fixed my back.

Hasn't felt this good in years.

Besides, every family has an Uncle Gonzo.

In our family, it's Marion's Uncle Leroy. He thinks he's shrinking.

Do we have to mention poor little Leroy?

Marion, do you feel better? Oh, so much better.

Now, I want you and Chokshi to come to have dinner at our house next week. And

you must bring Uncle Gonzo. We'll stock up on walnuts.

While we walk outside, let the kids stay for a few minutes. All right. Good

night, Chokshi. It was a wonderful evening.

Joanie, I was never ashamed of you. I know that.

I was ashamed of other things. Why?

Why?

Uncle Gonzo and his walnuts, your father's back, your mother sticking her

against the bathroom door. Are you kidding? But we had a wonderful time.

It all worked out. And your mother was so nice to me.

All I care about is you.

And you know what else?

What? You've got such a face.

Thank you. I had a wonderful time.

See you tomorrow.

Okay.

Oh, thank you very much. It was wonderful meeting you. Hi, Joni.

Oh, they put nice people.

What was that for?

Because I love you, Mom.

You've got such a face.

But this is the original face.

Do you suspect there might be more to Tony and Angela's relationship than just

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Tony Masselli, I'm the housekeeper here. No kid can resist the taste of rich

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Boy, I just love beat the clock. Yeah. If the guy breaks all those water

balloons in ten seconds, he wins the luggage.

Oh, I don't know why we're watching this program. It's so boring.

Wait, it's starting.

Here we go. Ten.

Nine.

eight five four three two one

i'm just so happy for his wife

beat the clock oh i

missed beat the clock there i bet they have water balloons yeah so how'd it go

last night

I wish you had done that a long time ago. And my young cousin thought it

wouldn't go all right.

Hey, listen, I bought you over some presents here, huh?

Dig in.

You know, I'll tell you something. There's only one way to eat these

huh? Yeah, we know.

Next

up,

I Dream of Jeannie.

Nothing can hold me when I hold you. If you go right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and golden all week long.