Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy, free.

Happy days. These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye, gray sky.

Hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me. I hold you. You're so right. You can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all week long. So let's hit this thing.

Monday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

Mason sure has one tough case on his hands.

Who do you think killed that uppity debutante, Howard?

I bet it was the jockey.

The jockey?

Marion, how could you possibly think it was a jockey? The uppity debutante was

strangled. Now, she was five feet eleven. He's only four and eight.

Well, maybe she bent over for him.

you to perk up your ears because you're going to have an audio party here.

Richie wrote me a letter. Oh, wonderful.

Howard, if you can tear yourself away from the set for a second. Richie has

written a letter from the Army. All right, go ahead. I'm listening. I'm just

going to turn the sound down. Oh, please, could I read it?

Uh, Mrs. C, I think I'd better read this letter. Oh, Arthur, please. Well, Mrs.

C, uh, uh, uh, yeah, why don't you go right ahead and read that letter then?

All right.

Dear Fonzie, hello from Fort Silverman.

Enclosed is a picture of me in my

Oh, yeah, I got that right here.

Oh, Howard, he looks like a cantaloupe.

Read the letter, Mary.

I applied for the job as editor of the camp newspaper, but they assigned me to

latrine duty.

The guy that got the job as editor used to be a plumber. That's the army, all

right.

Ralph is doing better, but still begs the sergeant to leave the light on at

night.

He told four guys from back east all his morons. They invited him out for a

drink in the lake. Ha -ha.

She wrote ha -ha. Yeah.

Speaking of jokes, Fonz, here's one you can tell down at the garage.

These two Marines sneak into the nurse's quarters.

This one nurse just got out of the shower and... Oh, my...

That's why I wanted to read the letter there, Mrs. C.

All right, the nurse got out of the shower.

I like that joke. I like that joke.

All right, right back, your pal, Private Richie. Yeah.

He sounds thin.

Oh, come in the kitchen. Quick.

Hey, I'm not hungry, Mrs. No, Joanie's coming home from a date, and she doesn't

like it if she sees us looking runny like we're waiting for her to come home.

Now, you know, you crazy.

Now, I'll never know who murdered the uppity deputy.

It was the jockey. Well, how could he, uh... He had a ladder. Oh, I see.

Wonderful time.

Yeah, me too.

You know, that was the best science fair the school ever had.

They're not here.

Oh, will you look at them?

Why did Joni have to go steady?

She should just play the field.

Now, come on. Joni and Shot, you really care for each other. You know, we're

talking electricity here.

Well, she's too young for... Listen.

Hey, you kids are getting too much in a lather here, you know. You got to relax

a little bit. Have a cookie.

I'll take care of it, I promise. You all right?

Excusez -moi.

We're making the parents crazy here.

Come on, let's go.

All right, all right, here we go, nice and gentle.

Okay.

From a distance. From a distance.

Back right out the door. He'll speak to you later. He's crazy about you.

Hey, will you get your lips off the door?

Hi,

Joanie. Hi, Daddy.

Hi, Joanie. Hi, Mom.

I would speak to her.

Yeah.

Joanie.

Your mother and I feel that although Chachi's a very nice boy, you might be

seeing too much of him lately.

So for the next couple of weeks, we'd rather you wouldn't.

I couldn't do that. I just died.

Well, now, it's just for two weeks, and you can date anybody else you want, but

not him. I'd never do that. I'll give you your own phone. It's a deal.

Oh, Howard, I'm glad you're home.

Where's Joanie?

She's talking on her phone to Chachi.

Again?

But doesn't she realize that that defeats the whole purpose?

I mean, she's supposed to be going out with new boys.

Face it, Howard.

She's bamboozled you.

Au contraire, Marion.

I didn't just fall off a tomato truck, you know.

You did once, Howard.

I was pushed, Marion. Would you let me finish?

I brought home Joanie a date.

A blind date?

Started working part -time down at the hardware store.

Nicest boy you ever want to meet. And he works for less than the minimum wage.

That's probably it.

Oh.

Marion, this is Wilbur. Oh, how do you do, Wilbur? Oh, you brought flowers for

Joanie. Why, no. These flowers are for her lovely mother.

Well, thank you, Wilbur. They'll be just lovely down at bowling.

Oh, Joanie, come on down here.

I'm on the phone.

Hang it up. I got a surprise for you.

This day is going down in my diary.

First, I got to set up the new shellac display.

And now, a date with a girl.

Yikes!

Where's my surprise?

Joanie, this is Wilbur.

Hi, Wilbur.

Now, where's my surprise?

The surprise is that Wilbur is taking you out tonight.

Yikes!

Gee, I'm really sorry, but I can't go out with you because my hair's dirty.

Oh, so is mine.

There, you see, you both have so much in common.

Well, I'll go get my sweater.

Oh, Ty, Dad.

Well, uh, we've got to hurry, dear. We're late.

A lovely girl. She favors you, Mrs. Cunningham.

What a nice boy.

Oh, and you should see the shellac display.

Somebody please open the door. I forgot my bowling shirt.

Why was the door locked?

Why are your glasses on upside down?

Oh, I thought I was upside down. Thank you. Here's your bowling shirt. What a

nice boy.

Daddy!

He what?

if it wasn't important?

We only have four more days to go. Call me. But I have to say it'll only take a

minute, okay? Okay.

Oh. Oh, no.

When you tell us I thought about this, it's gonna be bye -bye telephone.

Who would tell him?

Me. He keeps calling me up all the time asking me if I see the two of you

together. So, tell him you had it. Yeah.

I can't do that.

We're fellow leopards.

Besides, he's the grand pooper. He could take my spots.

tied by your leg. Shh, I wear it for luck.

You'll need it.

Sit down. It's not fair. Oh, that's nice.

See you later, kids.

Now, what's so important?

Remember the tickets I sent away to the Beach Boys concert in Chicago?

Yeah. Well, they just came in the mail, and we've got two great seats for

tomorrow night.

Oh, why tomorrow night?

Next time I see the Beach Boys, I'll ask them.

Johnny, we've both been looking forward to this.

Now, tell me, what's more important?

The Beach Boys or your stupid phone, huh?

Oh, I know.

Oh, gosh.

Tom.

Where are we going to sit, bossy? We are not together. This isn't a date. I

swore, we're not on a date. We're not on a date. But you drove me over.

No, no, no. I stopped at the light and you drove in the car.

Why don't you just have fun with your girlfriend?

Someday, tall, dark, and handsome, you're going to want me bad.

Hey, guys.

Hi.

What's the matter?

Chuch, he has tickets to the Beach Boy concert, and we can't go.

Great!

No, I mean, I'll buy them off you. Uh, four bucks?

No, it doesn't look like we'll be needing them. Right.

Well, I know how you can get to the concert.

Sure, and blow my phone.

Listen, tomorrow night you're supposed to come over to my house for a slumber

party, right? Right.

Well, as soon as your folks drop you off, Chuch, he picks you up, and you're

to Chicago.

Then what, Jenny?

Well, after the concert, you come back to my house and go on home in the

morning. Your parents will never know what happened.

Of course you are going to miss a fantastic slumber party. Why?

Because we're being crashed by the football team.

How do you know?

I'm picking them up.

Jenny, what if my parents call your house and want to talk to me? Jones,

cover for you. Oh, great.

I'll tell them you were too drunk to come to the phone.

Jenny.

Have fun, Joanie. Don't worry, I'll cover.

Hurry, we've got to go fast.

Don't worry, nothing will happen.

We won't get caught. No, I promise. We'll have a good time. Yeah.

Oh, nice car.

I borrowed it from Fonzie's garage.

Chicago, here we come.

Boy, the concert was fantastic.

Boy, would you look how lucky you are. Only one room left and it just happens

be the honeymoon suite.

Well, there's the bathroom and there's the bed and...

Are you sure you don't have two rooms?

Oh, I'm positive.

But how can you afford two rooms? You can't even afford luggage.

Well, it just so happens that we belong to a religion that forbids luggage.

Well,

you certainly travel light. I mean, no car, no luggage, no wedding ring.

back from the Beach Boys concert in Chicago.

Hey, she's telling the truth. The garage said he'd have it fixed by tomorrow.

Sure. And you two are stuck here in a motel till then, right? Yeah.

Listen, would you answer a question for me, please?

If you're married, how come you ask for separate rooms?

She has a cold.

See?

Please. Now, why would he do that?

Please, Johnny, you're getting hysterical. Well, why shouldn't I get

I'm with a guy alone in a motel.

We didn't come here on purpose.

Now, would you forget it's a motel?

Forget it's a motel? There's a sign out there flashing motel, motel, motel.

Johnny, don't worry. I wouldn't try to take advantage of this situation.

Are you sure? Of course.

Why not?

Are you trying to drive me crazy?

Oh, I'm sorry. I don't even know what I'm saying. I know I should have never

listened to Jenny Pickle and my life's over.

No, it isn't.

Look. Your parents think you're a Jenny's, right? Uh -huh. So here's what

do. We'll get a good night's sleep.

The car will be ready first thing in the morning, right? Uh -huh. And you'll be

back home before anybody knows the difference. Yeah, right.

Yeah.

I can hardly keep my eyes open. Oh.

I'll tell you what.

You sleep on the bed and I'll sleep on the desk.

Oh. But why don't you sleep on the floor?

Because I don't like my face so close to where thousands of people have walked.

Oh, yeah.

Well, night, night. Night, night.

Here you go.

Are you comfortable?

Are you kidding?

This is better than my bed at home.

Well, I had to get into my comfortable position.

I guess I'll sleep in the bathtub.

As soon as they put one in, that is.

Listen, I got a good idea.

In the old movies, they couldn't show a couple in bed together unless they each

kept one foot on the floor. That made it innocent.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. All right. Okay.

Yeah.

One foot on the floor, right? Right.

Hey, this is a great idea.

Yeah. Now you won't be so nervous.

Right. Ah. Ah.

Well, we dreamed. Myself?

What was that?

What are you doing on the bed? Nothing.

Someone's at the door.

Who is it?

Sandra Dee, open up, Judge.

Oh, sniffing at my nose.

Come in.

Come on.

What's going on here?

What a surprise.

I was just reading the Bible.

That's a very, very good book. Looks like two of every animal I know is dark

right across your bed.

So, what brings you around here?

Mirage calls me up at six in the morning, says they need a part. I

license plate. I'm here. Why did they call you? Who else are they going to

So, how was the concert?

Oh, it was great. Yeah? Yeah.

So, poor Joanie had to stay home alone, huh? Yeah, well, by my lonesome, Fonz.

Why are we stuck like glue? I love you. I'm tight.

Well, it was nice to see you, Fonz. Have a nice ride back, okay? Hey, wait a

minute. Wait a minute here.

That car ain't going to be ready till four on Wednesday. I'm here to take you

home, get you stuff. Let's go.

Uh... I think I'll take the bus back, Fonz. It's been a dream of mine for a

time.

I know that you dream about Natalie Wood.

Well, in a dream, I meet her on a bus, you see.

That reminds me, can you loan me some money for the bus? Yeah, sure, sure.

Where's that glue again? I still love you.

All right, here, what do you got? Three dollars, that ought to cover, right?

Can I have six?

Just in case I lose three on the way to the station.

Yeah? Yeah.

Well, I'm going to stand in the way of a man's dream, even if it is a bit

bizarre.

Let me ask you a question, right?

You're acting very, very strange. Are you going through puberty again?

Talk to me.

Those are souvenirs from the concert. Is there a girl in here? What?

Huh? That's great. You go to a concert, you gotta leave Joanie home. You just

pick up anybody you meet, huh? Yeah, I'm a bum, Fonz.

Bum is already a compliment for you.

You know, give me that $3 back. She's gonna walk. I don't know this girl. Come

here. I'll tell you something.

Sit in front of the bus. You get there quicker.

Oh, my. That was really close. I was just about to dig a tunnel through the

bathroom wall.

What do you have to wear shoes for, anyway?

You know what?

On second thought, I can't let her walk home.

So let's meet this girl you met. Yeah.

Hi. Whoa!

That's good. Yeah, just tell me another one. We kept one foot on the floor. I

was kidding about telling you another one.

You know what that pothole you gave me when you were 12?

I was 10. I don't care. I'm giving it back.

And you, I'm going to treat you differently. We're no longer relatives.

Fonz, Fonz, how can we not be relatives anymore? It's very simple. I'm going to

drain your body of every bit of Fonz's early blood. We're going to start right

now. Mr.

and Mrs.

Argoa!

You two got married?

not. Why should you?

Are you folks all right?

I thought I heard some fool beating his head against the wall.

Thanks, we're fine.

Oh, good. By the way, if you're planning to spend an extra night, I happen to

have one extra room.

Would you believe it? They ask for separate rooms. Oh, youth, it's wasted

young.

You see?

All right, all right, all right. Maybe you did ask for two rooms. Honest ones.

Don't you think you owe us an apology?

No. That's good enough for me.

And you, your parents all snuggled safe in bed thinking you were at a pajama

party? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you're not going to tell them, are you, Fonz? I ain't going to say a word.

Great.

Oh, you're going to make me tell them, aren't you? Hey, if you're old enough to

be here in a tell room, then you're old enough to let

them know if you want to let them know.

All right, let's go to the garage. Come on, come on. Get your shoes. Get out of

here. Keep a distance.

Keep your distance.

It's a new inside.

Doctor.

All right.

Here's my phone.

Thank you.

Now, you believe me about the motel. Nothing happened.

Absolutely. But I'm disappointed you broke our deal.

Joanie, the fact that you were out with Chachi is nothing compared to the fact

that you could be out there in trouble in the middle of the night and not have

the good sense to get to a phone and call us. Mom, I promise I'll never go

without a dime.

You know, one good thing came out of all this. At least we learned that Chachi

is a boy that can be trusted.

Oh,

I'll get it.

What are you doing here?

Listen, I got some tickets for the Johnny Mathis concert. Can you get out

you're grounded?

I don't know.

haven't been completely settled yet. It doesn't matter. I got a ladder. You can

climb out of your window. Oh, no, no.

Oh, no. Hi, Mr. C.

Hi, Chachi.

What are you doing here?

What's that you got?

What, this?

This is a ladder. What's it for?

I, uh, I just came by to, um, paint your house.

Well, now, isn't that nice?

Yeah. They're Brushes and paint out in the garage. You go ahead and get

and I'll check on you later. Mr. Senior, Joanie?

Yes, Joanie. Now there's a boy who can really be trusted.

Next,

on The Brady Bunch, producer Sherwood Schwartz's daughter, Hope, somehow lands

the plum gig as Greg's on -again, off -again girlfriend, Rachel.

Hmm. It's episode number 68, The Big Bet.

Stay tuned.