Original subtitles

Happy Day Happy Day Happy Day Happy Day Happy Day

Happy Day Happy Day Happy Day Happy Day

Happy Day

Rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Good Monday, Monday, happy day.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy day.

Thursday, Friday, happy day.

Saturday, what a day.

Rubin all week with you.

It's the most ridiculous thing.

Let's say goodbye here.

Are you sure you're not going to mind me dating this weekend, Rich? Me? Oh, you

silly goose.

I'm going to be with my parents, so you go ahead and have a good time.

Well, Fonzie will be up there, too.

Right. I might have to find him a date.

Find Fonzie a date.

Oh, I'm going to miss that sense of humor.

Bye, Fonz.

I'll load up the car.

Right. You got it?

Yeah. Hey, Fonz, are you going to ride up to Lake Pinewood with us? No, I'm

going to take my bike. Four wheels make me very nervous.

Oh, yeah, dumb question.

Well, bon voyage, Fonz. Let me ask you a question. Do you believe in destiny,

Ray? I believe in everything a little bit, Fonz. Good.

A mile away from Pinewood Lake lies the bumper guard

farm.

That's good to know. Thank you, Fonz. Well, I'll see you up there.

And on that farm is Helga and Inga. E -I -E -I -O.

That makes sense. I better get going, Fonz. I gotta get the suitcase. I want

tell you, this is an opportunity of a lifetime.

We're talking two luscious milkmaids. We're talking legends who are so, so

lonely it could make you cry. Can we let those women stay that lonely?

Well, Fonz, I don't know. Helga and Inga.

Oh.

Yeah, they are gorgeous. Why are they lonely?

Very strict, Fonz. Yeah?

Fonz, I can't see the whole article. Could you move your hand? Just a stupid

headline, Rich.

Dairy farmer shoots Tupperware salesman.

Enraged father Vernon Bumpergard yesterday shot... Fonz, that man is more

strict. He didn't mean it.

Listen, by the time you get up to Pinewood Lake, I will have a foolproof

E -I -E -I -O.

Isn't this breathtaking, Howard? Look at the beautiful lake. Yeah, I hope the

fish are biting.

I hope the mosquitoes aren't.

Richard, why don't you come down to the lake with us? Maybe we'll see some

good... That's loons, Mary.

No thanks, Mom.

I'm gonna write Lori Beth a letter.

Well, you'll beat the letter home, Rich.

Yeah, and when that letter arrives... What,

you gonna go fishing or something?

Eh, maybe.

Your mother and I have a bet on to see how long it takes before Joanie's

father... I see hunks!

I lose.

Howard, you should have known better. Hunks are everywhere.

Hey, look! Look, they're surveyors. Yes, they are. And they're certainly

surveying Joanie.

Don't be for long.

Hi, fellas.

I see you've met my almost 17 -year -old daughter.

Here we are, Lake Pinewood. Fine. This is an aerial map.

Yeah, that's correct.

We're going to go along this highway here up over the hill into the bar.

How did you get an aerial photograph of the Boomer Guard farm?

Lindbergh. You know Charles Lindbergh? Who's talking Charles? I'm talking

Lindbergh and her crop duster.

All right, all right. So now, uh, how do we get into the barn?

Who is the greatest buffalo hunter of all time?

Buffalo Bill. Wrong.

Cy McClintock.

How'd he get the name? Put on a buffalo hide and he tiptoed through the herd.

All right? Dig this.

Fonzie, I cannot do this. I want you to picture those two girls and their

dreaming. Can you see them?

Yeah, they are cute.

Yeah, I agree. Can you see Helga on the left? No, Helga's on the right. Oh,

silly of me. All right,

Fonzie. And you know what they're dreaming about, Cunningham? No, what?

They're dreaming about two red -blooded American boys. They're dreaming about

us.

It's the 60s, Cunningham. A new business.

A new frontier.

And I wanted to share this experience with you.

Thank you, Fonzie. Thank you for this opportunity.

Let's get in the cow suit. Which end am I?

I should have known.

All right.

Cowhead, you're going to muss my hair.

It's worth it. Test run. It's pretty dark in here, Fonz. Trust me. All right.

shit I've made friends.

How far to the farm, Fonz?

Well, let's see.

Oh, yeah, there's the barn over there.

Okay, Richie, we're on the way. Check.

Let's recon it. Huh?

Do you see him, Fonz? Do you see him? Long -stamped, goatee -daunt. Okay.

Let me see him, Fonz. Can I see him?

Oh, sorry.

Long -stamped.

Breathtaking, huh?

Taking my breath away. What do you see?

I see two -barrel, both 12 -gallons.

Tupperware salesman would show up. Yeah, and I know what I'd do with him. What?

I'd grab him, hug him, and kiss him. Then Pa would show up and shoot him.

Oh, Inga.

I'm so desperate for a man.

Me too.

What's going on in there?

It's just that, Pa.

I thought I heard a noise.

Well, give me a hand outside moving the cheese into the root cellar. Come on,

move for long.

I just wish I had some voice.

We know.

Did you hear that?

They are waiting for us. Yeah, and my lips are ready for them.

She loves me.

She loves me now. No time for that shit.

Let's get a foolproof plan to get past that car.

Okay. So, uh, what's the idea, Fonz? The idea is to get into this to get out of

here. Oh, that's a good idea. It's almost milking time.

Imagine running into Laverne and Shirley.

Okay, let's see what we've got here. One swollen ankle and a bunch of bee

stings. I'll have this fixed up in a jiffy.

Vicky's Florence Nightingale.

Ooh, look at this swelling coming up right through the cow pants.

Girl, that's his wallet.

these pants off. Oh, I wouldn't mind leaving the stingers in. Then I'm going

need a needle about yay. Fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Ice works just as

Let's find some ice. Okay.

Okay.

Laverne, would you do something here without a needle? Sure. What are you

walking so fast for? I'm limping here.

I'm sorry. What would you want me to do? Limp too.

Of course.

He was only trying to keep me warm. Well, would you please get off so I can

the ice cubes on?

Okay, but I'm telling you, Fonz, crushed ice keeps it a lot cooler. Okay, let's

take care of Fonzie's ankle now.

I want you to go over and check on the Cunningham boys' swelling, all right?

go do that.

How do you feel?

I may be in a little shock.

Okay.

You know something?

If you're good, I'm authorized to give you either a balloon or a lollipop.

If memory serves me correctly, we just take the boot off very quickly.

Well,

then that must be very quickly.

Excuse me.

Would you follow me? Just a minute.

I'll grab the other part, and we'll just ease it off very gently, okay?

Okay.

Easy does. Come on, get up.

Easy does.

Here we go.

Open!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

I'll do anything you want.

Just don't keep throwing me at Richie no more.

all by themselves?

I'm sure this thing has been coming out all by themselves.

Bravo. Bravo.

Okay, now I've got to wrap that ankle. Let me see. I'm going to need a bandage

and some... What are you doing?

You want to cause him to have a relapse? Okay, let me wrap it. I'll wrap it. I

want to wrap it.

Girls,

girls.

Can I have my balloon now?

I'll wrap it. You do what you do best. Do your bedside manner. Talk him out of

the pain and things like that.

How you doing, G .I.? You want to write a letter home? Tell him how good the war

is going?

Huh? Got any extra nylon? Some chocolate?

No, I don't got any chocolate.

I got one question.

What are you doing here in the first place?

vacation, and he didn't have any cabins, and my pop's too old to sleep in a

tree. Well, that's easy. You helped us. I'll help you.

Roscoe's Wigwam City.

Roscoe's Wigwam?

Yeah, at least you'll have a roof over your head, even if it is a little

pointed.

I'm feeling much better.

All right, there we go. Let's see what we did.

Why don't we test it out on our patient here? Just get a...

This is no time for hero worship.

This foolproof plan?

Hold it right there.

I think you asked me just a little late.

Burning bumper guard?

That's for guard.

Yeah, whatever.

FBI.

You don't look like FBI men. Right.

We're undercover.

Yeah, sure.

Let's see some identification.

Who wants to see identification?

We don't have any. We don't have any because we're undercover.

Yeah, they won't let us carry identification. Are you kidding? Right.

reason we're here... We're here that you make the best...

in this entire state.

He says... Should I tell him?

I guess so.

President of the United States, John Kennedy.

The president likes my cheese.

All right, president's driving through.

The president? Here?

Yes, and he would very much be honored if you would bring some of your cheese

personally. Elmo's gas station, one hour. He'd be there. I'll go right now.

Oh, and if he's late?

Wait for him. Yeah.

Fonz, Fonz, you were great. You weren't so bad, he said.

You sure you saw him headed this way? He'll be here any minute.

Richie, I tell you something, I feel like Caesar. I came, I saw, and I'm

to come.

Hail Caesar.

Hail, hail, the gang's all here.

I'm here, girl. I'm here.

I'm delighted.

Fonz, which one do you want?

Fonz? Radio, turn on some music. Yeah.

You have to go in the dance. I love the dance.

Oh, right.

Would one of you care to dance?

Dance? Hail to dance.

Oh, good.

Fine, sure.

Maybe you better take Helga. Sure.

Oh,

I

bet you kissed girls before.

Once, twice, who remembers?

I heard if you kiss a man right, he passes out.

Yeah, but I'm one rough, tough guy.

Oh, please, may I try it again?

Well, it'll make you feel better.

You stay away from my daughters.

All right.

And you take your Tupperware with you.

Hang up, hang up, or you'll start another one.

Did you see that, Barnes? Let's get out of here, Cunningham. And F -A -S -T.

Faster, faster.

All right, take it nice and slow. Come on, slower.

Slower.

Yeah.

Barnes, come on. That was too close for me.

Just about for enough.

Fonzie, please tell me you said that.

Well, I'd love to, Rich, but I can't.

What a snowy job, trying to fool a boomer guard.

You come here, young fella.

You soiled my daughters.

You know what that means?

Well, you're going to shoot at my feet, aren't you?

No, I'm not.

You're not?

No. You, too, are going to marry my girls.

I'd much rather have you shoot at my feet.

No, no, look, these girls, hey, girls, girls, you don't want to marry us, do

you? Oh, yeah.

I got to be totally honest. I got a bum leg. I can't rotate crops.

Sir, Fern, from the most sincerest part of me, I would love... to marry your

daughter, but I can't. What do you mean you can't? We are engaged.

To him.

That's to him.

He didn't mean it.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It just slipped out.

I am betrothed to one Laverne.

Defends you.

Right.

Shirley Feeney. Yeah, we're practically married.

Come on, Pa. Make him marry us. Make him kiss us again.

We'll settle this.

You with the apple pie face.

Where are your fiancés?

Oh, in Pinewood Lake. Yeah, pining away for us.

I need proof.

You go get them.

I don't go anywhere without my friend.

One man can't travel faster alone.

But very surely you bring them here? Right. Quick. You move, young fella.

If you ain't back here in one hour, your friend have more holes in him than fish

cheese.

My life is in your feet, Richie. Well, you're in good hands, Fonz. I mean feet.

I can really... Will you get out of here?

That young fella better run fast.

If he ain't back here in one hour, it'll be Fern and Conchitichin.

What?

Curtains for you.

What's the matter, Fish?

Don't you like worms?

Dad! Dad!

Dad! Come quick!

Fonzie's in trouble!

Don't worry, Richie! I'm coming!

Hey, how you doing? Let me ask you a question, anybody?

Fonzie, I haven't got time to talk to you now. Fonzie's in big trouble.

Either Richie's crazy, I'm crazy, or you're crazy. Now, which one is it? I

think anybody's crazy, Mr. C. I gotta find Richie. Where is he? Well, he just

ran by here hysterically looking for you. He just ran by. He left me an hour

ago. I gotta buy that boy a compass.

Well, what happened?

You won't believe this. We're in this halo with some girls, right? Then the

father comes in and he says, Hey, I'm gonna kill you. And if you don't marry

daughters, right? So then Richie escapes, leaves me facing a double

shotgun. It's a very ugly story.

Well, how did you get out of there?

Oh, Patsy saved my life.

Patsy's in Milwaukee.

That's right. See, Richie escaped, and I convinced the father that Ralph and

Patsy would marry their daughters because they're rich doctors. But I've

find Richie, all right? I'll see you later. Oh, listen.

Did you catch any big ones yet? Oh, tons of them.

Yeah, but I threw them. I like to throw them back.

You're a very thoughtful sportsman.

That's why I'm crazy about you. You know that?

I'll see you later, all right?

Hey, Chief!

Hey, Jenny!

Would you guys like to jump up in here?