Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days. Tuesday, Friday,

happy days. The weekend comes, my cycle hums, ready to race to you.

These days are ours, happy and free.

These days are ours, share them with me.

Hello, blue. There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. You're so right. It

can't be wrong.

Rocking and rolling all week long.

These happy days are yours and mine. Happy days.

You

want

to do plates or silverware? It makes no difference to me. Fine, I'll do the

silverware. That's fine.

You want me to do the glasses too?

Fine, go ahead. Yeah, it doesn't matter because you're going to do what you want

to do anyway.

Hey, look who I found outside.

I found him outside begging for a free meal.

Come on, Mr. C, I wasn't begging. Ah, you have a napkin tucked under your

Hi, sweetheart.

What have you got to feed two hungry men? Oh, Howard, our daughter is

her mother's heart.

Get her out, Howard. Look, Marion.

You know, you know, when I decided to move back home, I thought it would be

living here.

Some fun.

Come on, Josh, let's go out. No, no, no. Oh, Dad, Dad, Mom's all been out of

shape because I was accepted into the special teacher's assistant program at

college. Is that why you're so upset?

Oh, sweetheart, I think that's wonderful.

Thanks, Dad.

Don't let her snow you, Howard. There is more.

You're darn right there's more.

Dad. This is an opportunity to teach in a real classroom situation.

And where is this classroom located?

At Georgia's Patton Vocational High School.

Gee, Joni, that's a pretty tough school. I mean, couldn't they give you another

assignment? Dad, it's hard enough to get into this program. If I don't go with

the assignment, I may have to wait two more years, and I'm not about to do

Now, you mind your tongue, young lady. Roger has told us all about... Stop this

horrible school. I told her when you got home, you were going to settle it. So

go ahead, Howard, and set her straight. Your father is going to set you

straight. Is that right, Howard?

I had ribs for lunch, Mary, and I have to floss.

Howard, come on. What's the difference? I know what he's going to say. He's

going to agree with you. He's known you longer.

I know.

Why don't we let Chachi be the judge?

What do you think, Chachi?

If you ask me, I agree with your mother.

Okay. Now, let's let Judgy be the judge.

What do you mean you agree with her? Look, Joanie, whether you like it or

Patton is a tough school.

I mean, at graduation, they don't give you a diploma.

They give you $5 and a cheap suit.

See?

You know what? Any kid in that school with teeth is a visitor.

Judge, don't you have something to do? Errands to run?

Cliffs to jump off? Save your breath, all right, Joey?

You're going to need it for when the cops tear gas that school anyway.

You know, I don't know why I'm listening to all this.

I wasn't asking permission. I thought you'd be excited for me, Mom. Dear, I

get excited when you do something that makes sense.

Oh, you want to see...

Bubble baths, timing is everything.

You've got to slip in there when the bubbles are at their fluffy peak.

You take bubble baths?

I happen to be a very easygoing guy. I let my dates pick the entertainment.

Bye, Mom.

Bye, Nick. I'll see you when I'm older. Hello, Joanie. Hi, Fonz.

What's this rift here in a harmonious suburbia, huh?

Joanie wants to be a teacher's assistant at Patton.

Yeah, I heard him through the grapevine.

I knew that I should not run my bath water before I take care of the family.

right, Joanie, you can do this.

Yo, Mr. C, family meeting. Let's go.

All right, let's get down to brass tacks.

First of all, I am the dean of George Patton High School. I'll be there to

over your daughter, right? No, no, no. All right, number two, very important.

all know how important this is to Joanie.

We've got to make her happy. We've got to encourage her. Number three.

Nobody.

And I repeat, nobody wants her to live near a marine base with Jenny Piccolo.

All right, there are the facts. I just passed it over this riff. Now, what do

you say?

I'm not going to change my mind.

I'm certainly not changing my mind.

Well, I have made up my mind.

Now, look, Joanie, there's a lot of wisdom in what your mother's saying. Oh,

Howard, thank you. In fact, your mother said a very wise thing when you moved

back into the house. She said, Howard, we've raised a wonderful daughter. She's

got a good head on her shoulders, and we can't make her decisions for her

anymore. We can offer her advice, but she has to make her own choices.

Yes, you did, Marion.

And if this is what she really wants, we're going to have to support her.

Well, if I said that. Well, then it must be all right.

I'm glad I settled that.

I know you're worried, but I'll be just fine.

I'm proud of you. You're going to be great. It's the hallway.

You know what this is? It's a water fountain. You're going to drink here.

Here we got a chalk outline of a body.

It's an art project, that's all. But don't step on it because the cops might

still need it, all right?

Look at this. Room 209. You know what that is? Senior English. That's you.

You're going to go in there. You're going to be great. You're going to go in

there and fill those empty heads with the hoes and knowledge.

It is my privilege and pleasure to introduce you to your new assistant

Miss Cunningham, Miss Cunningham, Michelle and Bart.

Welcome.

Always glad to have reinforcements.

All right, educatees.

Sit up.

Now, I'm going to introduce you to your new assistant teacher here, Mrs. Miss

Cunningham.

All right, you're going to treat her with great respect for two reasons. One,

she's very, very good.

For two, if you don't.

We'll do this.

You're going to be great. If you need any help, you say, hey, Fonz, I'll be in

on the hay. You understand?

I am going for a short break.

Now, if I'm not back, you give the little hooligans their homework

the desk.

Oh, wait.

I forgot your, uh, plane ticket.

It's one in the right -hand top desk drawer.

Thank you.

The old jumping snake bit.

You'll have to be a little more original than that.

Hey, can I go to the bathroom?

Joey, I'm sorry, but I didn't see you raise your hand to ask a question.

Yes, Joey?

Now, can I go to the bathroom?

Joey, I'm sure you can go to the bathroom. I'm sure you've gone to the

before. But if you'd like to use proper English, you may go to the bathroom.

Never mind. I lost interest.

All right, all right. What were you doing before I came in?

Joey was reading.

All right. Well, why don't you pick up where you left off?

His strong hands caressed her body.

At least, she said, my husband will be home any minute.

Let's wait for him. Oh, I said stop it right now. I mean it. Her nightgown fell

to the floor. Hey, stop it.

If you let your head where it is, I'd stop.

Thank you.

Frankie.

Thank you, Frankie. Listen, we only have a few more minutes left, so why don't I

give you your homework assignment?

in high school.

So you can see that there really isn't that much difference between you and I.

Or you and me.

Plus.

Now, I understand you have problems and I want to help you in any way, any time

that I can. So I'm always available to speak to each individual student.

Okay? Now let me give you your assignment.

Well, count it for a second.

You really mean what you said about giving extra help?

Sure, whatever I can do.

Oh, good, because it would really mean a lot to me.

I promised my mom I would graduate this year.

Oh, that's wonderful. Don't worry.

I mean, I'll help you in any way to keep that promise.

Thanks, teach.

Oh, excuse me, but I'm just dying to see the teacher's lounge. You know, that's

where the teacher's lounge.

Chachi, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your subbing for Potsy

It's the league finals. Hey, Mr. C, whenever you need help, all you got to

ask me.

Joanie, you sure you won't change your mind and join us? Oh, no, thanks, Dad.

Mrs. Schellenbach left me on my own for a couple of days. I have some lesson

plans to prepare.

Bye -bye. We're going to miss you, dear. Have fun.

Yes? Hi.

There you are.

Frank, what are you doing here?

Well, you said if I needed any extra help, you'd be available.

Well, actually, I meant at school, but as long as you're here, you might as

stay.

Well, is the pizza man staying?

No, Frankie's one of my students. He just came by for some help with

I brought this for you. I hope you like eating.

Family meeting in the kitchen. Let's go.

And Johnny, too. This is important. Trust me.

Johnny, kitchen, please.

Excuse us.

Excuse me.

My parents, they still think I'm their daughter.

Okay, are there enough Cunninghams here, or do I have to call Ireland?

I'm sorry. I just think it's important to talk when your daughter is making the

biggest mistake of her life.

Oh, Howard, and we were going to go bowling.

Marion, you don't even know what it is.

What is it, Josh?

I'm talking about Pizza Pete in the living room.

Chunchy, he's my student. He just came by for some help. When you grow up...

Excuse me.

Joanie, guys that age only have one thing on their minds.

He's practically the same age as you.

That's how I know.

Now, he may have something there, dear. Lots of students develop crushes on

their teachers.

I did.

Marion, I don't want to hear about Raoul again.

Chachi may have a very good point here. Thank you. Well, I'm sorry, but I refuse

to stand here any longer and indulge in these paranoid fantasies. Fine.

That's the last family meeting you ever call.

We're going to the bowling alley now.

It's a sudden death tournament.

We could be home at any time.

Frankie, I'm sorry to keep you waiting.

I'm sure you're eager to get started.

I like the way you got rid of the others.

Well, we wouldn't have gotten anything accomplished with them here.

You got that right.

Now, I think we should start with this semester's reading list.

Now, I'm sure there's something here that interests you.

Yeah, I already found plenty that interest me.

You know, you just better be picking lint off my sleeve.

Yeah, well, I hope you got lint all over you.

You better be picking lint off her sleeve.

Why don't you tell the guy who's dressed like a cab to leave us in peace?

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll leave a piece over here. I'll leave a piece over there.

I'll leave a piece over there.

Come over here tonight. We'll talk about this after class tomorrow.

Yeah, well, that suits me fine.

Nothing's going to happen here tonight anyway. Oh, yeah? Well, stick around.

We'll find out if doctors still make house calls. Yeah, I'm scared. All

let's go. Come on.

That's it. Come on.

You can't beat him up. He's my student.

When does he graduate?

boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Excuse me, Joanie. I thought maybe that I

could still care about you, though. All right, Chuck, you're right. Okay, he has

a crush on me, but I can handle it. Oh, yeah? Yes.

I'll tell you what.

This happens again, right? Now, what are you going to do about it?

Something. Like what?

Like something. Tell me what. I said something.

Oh, good. Now you got three ways to go.

Look, whatever it is, it's something I'm going to do by myself, and I'm not

going to yell for help. Fine.

Try to help some people.

Now, before we get down to work, I'd like you to pass your book reports to

front, please.

Sweet cheeks. You want me to collect them for you?

No, Frankie. I think I can manage. If I get tired in between rows, I'll stop and

rest.

Looks and yucks, too.

There are only three papers here.

Who didn't turn in their homework?

You, excuse me, in the back row, I don't see your homework.

That's because I didn't know if I was going to be here today.

So I mailed it.

What's your name?

It's Guido.

Guido Templeton.

I don't smoke.

Can I talk to you, please?

Oh, all right.

Scusa.

What are you doing here? Don't get mad at me, all right?

I just came down here to check on you and make sure everything was okay. Well,

everything isn't okay. I am totally humiliated. Now, I appreciate the fact

you're concerned, but if you have any kind of respect, you'll walk out of here

right now.

Now let's get back to work.

Uh, does anyone know what a pronoun is?

Oh, that's easy.

Yes, Dexter.

A pronoun is a noun that gets paid for being in a sentence.

That's good, Dexter.

Would you like to tell that joke to Principal Phillips?

He told it to me.

of machines here and he's on free play.

Listen, Frankie, I'm really glad that we have a chance to talk about this once

and for all.

You know, when I said that I'd be available, I gave you the wrong idea and

my fault and I'd like to apologize.

And then when you came over last night, I was wearing shorts and you sat next to

me and that was another mistake.

But now I want to explain it to you straight out.

I'm the teacher and you're the student. And we will maintain a professional

relationship. Now, I'm getting angry, Frankie.

Get away from me. I mean it. I'm getting really angry.

down the sleigh.

Come on, don't cry, sweetheart.

It's okay. It's over. Nobody got hurt. He's just hanging around. That's all.

Come on.

You tell me it's not this, right? It's something else?

Are you going to tell me what it is or do I have to guess?

Oh, Fonz, I failed.

I couldn't handle Frankie and I had to scream for you to help me.

If that's the definition of failure, man, everybody in Milwaukee's gonna have

run downtown and jump off the Empire State Building.

Oh, Fonz, don't you see?

This was my big test to see if I was cut out to be a teacher, and I failed.

Hey, Joan.

You took the wrong test.

You're not here to see if you can beat up these guys. That's my job.

You're here to teach, and I'm here to see that's possible.

Now come on, it's only been two days. You haven't done that bad. It's one bad

egg. Yeah, I guess for the first two days it was pretty good.

You know, there were moments where I'd see a kid in the back want to understand

what I had to say.

And that made me feel great.

You know why?

Because you're a teacher.

And you're going to get great.

Let's get out of here. Okay.

All right.

My.