Original subtitles

Happy and free.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Goodbye gray sky, hello blue. There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It's all right.

It can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all we know.

Monday, happy days. Wednesday, happy days.

Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Proving I'll meet with you.

These days are ours.

How can I shave like this? The water's so hot.

I'm going to fix it.

One more, please.

Marry him.

I've got a razor in my hand.

Oh, forget it.

You know, I am sick and tired of having to shave down here in the living room

while Joanie is up there holding the bathroom hostage.

She's a young lady now, dear. It takes her time to put on her face.

Lon Chaney didn't take this long to put on his face.

I hate shaving downstairs because I always cut myself.

Oh, gosh.

Now I'm going to be late for work.

Well, Potsy can take over while you're away.

Potsy, huh?

You're talking about a guy who went out and bought a rocking chair and then

asked for an instruction booklet.

Well, he's very good at it now.

I wanted to be at the store when that first shipment of silent toilets

Oh, the whisper flush.

I'm going to demonstrate him at the hardware convention.

It's going to be a big hit.

Couldn't mean a lot of money for it.

Oh, Howard, I don't need money to be happy.

Couldn't mean a trip to Sweden.

Marion. Marion, I got a crazy idea.

Oh, Jill, you're already late for work.

Now, this is real wild.

Now, just go along with me.

What would you think if we added a second bathroom?

Right in the house?

No, sweetheart, in the car.

Of course in the house.

Huh? I mean, the whole works. A shower, a tub, lock on the door so I don't have

to whistle while I'm in there.

This is instead of the trip to Sweden, isn't it?

Oh, no, I couldn't do that to you.

No, I guess having a second bathroom is just a dream.

It's not meant for people like us.

Okay, Jody, your half hour is up.

Get out of there this minute.

But, Dad, I'm not finished doing my hair.

You want to bet?

Oh, right.

But I have to teach classics, period. I'm going to look like Mahatma Gandhi to

me.

Now, you listen to me, young lady. There is such a thing in this world as

consideration. You know, when I was your age... I know, Dad. You used to sell

newspapers on the corner.

No, that's another story.

When I was... Marion!

That settles it. I am calling a contractor, and we are going to build a

bathroom. Well, there goes Sweden. You weren't going anyway.

Well, thank you for your estimate.

And in all fairness, I think I should tell you that this is the last time you

will ever talk to me.

Weren't you a little rough on him, Howard? The man is a thief, Marion. He

to charge more for the second bathroom than I paid for the whole house.

Howard, that was 25 years ago. You could get a suit for $16.

You still can if you know where to shop.

I don't want to talk about it now. We'll discuss this when I get back from the

convention.

Try to stay out of jail this time, Howard.

Marion, that was not my fault. Those guys stole my clothes, and I had to get

through the lobby.

Dad, I'm glad I caught you. You know that bathroom you're going to build?

Oh, yeah, well, that's run into a bit of a snag.

The minimum wage law.

Well, I found a guy that can beat any price.

Really? Mm -hmm. Well, if he's so cheap, he can't be very good.

Not very good.

This is a master bathroom builder.

You, Ponzi?

Yeah. You, Howard, huh?

All right, let's get serious. Let's talk pictures here, Mr. Z.

Well, Arthur, this is so good of you.

Yeah.

Who's that?

Oh, ignore him. Don't worry about it. So, you want a stall shower? You want a

tub? You want a sink? You want a sink and a stall shower? What do you want?

you see person to person when they visited Jane Mansfield?

Who is that?

Nah, don't be in your mind.

I sure did. I saw that. I got the bathroom just like that. You know, she

everything pink. Everything was heart -shaped.

Oh, and she had a heated tail bar.

Oh.

Who are they?

Mr. C, don't worry about it. They're like bees.

You don't hurt them, they don't hurt you.

Now, look, Fancy, I don't know about this.

Yeah, okay, so I'm going to level with you now. I'm going to be a man. I'm

to put it right out straight for you.

Joanie?

Dad, Fonzie has a wonderful idea for a work -study program for the kids of Pat

and I.

It's called the L .O .D .P.

The L .O .D .P.? Yeah, Learn or Die Program.

And our bathroom is going to be their semester project.

Neat, huh? The kids from Pat and I?

Yeah. Oh, I don't think they can build a bathroom. Oh, Mr. C., let us not

underestimate these kids, you understand? They have made a machine gun

blender. Yeah.

Mr. C., look.

You're going to help them locate their self -confidence. Can you dig it? You're

going to help them locate their self -esteem. Yeah. Well, I appreciate the

offer, Fonzie, but I don't think it's going to work. Well, then, of course, it

doesn't cost you a dime. On the other hand, self -esteem is very important.

I'm getting down here. We're going to thank you. This is a wonderful thing

you're doing, huh? Mr.

C, God bless you.

Everybody, down here, down here. Let's go.

Thank Mr. C. Do it.

Yeah, uh, look, kids, I just want to...

That's my suit.

Fancy, I don't think this is gonna work.

Don't you understand that one bad egg is gonna ruin the entire barrel of apples?

Will you talk to the man?

Mr. Cunningham, I wasn't stealing.

It's just that I never had a real man suit on before, and I wanted to see what

it felt like.

Oh, Dad.

When I was confirmed, My parents bought me a suit for $14. Where?

I don't want to ruin it for the others, so I'll just take the suit off and go

home. Oh, hi, Dad.

All right, now look, Fonzie, you'll keep an eye on all of them, huh? Think of me

as a mother eagle watching her cubs. Okay,

I'm going to trust you now. All right, I got to go. I got to catch a plane.

Excuse me.

All right. Hey, what are you, wax fruit? Get up there. Let's work. Let's work.

Bye,

sweetheart. Goodbye, dear. Bye, Johnny.

$14, huh?

I wonder if I pass that store on the way to the airport.

Goodbye, dear.

Bye, Danny.

but the plane wouldn't leave the gate until I took it off.

Oh, well, my darling, how was the convention?

Oh, it was terrific, sweetheart.

I ran into this guy, Dwight Mesmer, and he's thinking of placing an order for

487 Whisper Flush toilets. Oh, he must have a big family.

He owns a hotel, Marion.

Well, I should think he would with a family that size.

I may be in for a big order when he comes to dinner next week. You see, I...

want them to hear the sweet silence of the whisper flush in person.

Marion, don't tell me those kids from Patton High haven't finished the

yet. Well, Howard, it isn't even a week yet, dear. Yeah, but the contractor

would have done it by now.

Oh, dear, if you're going up, why don't you take this up to the kids?

Marion, there's meat on these sandwiches.

No, yes, dear, it makes it taste better.

You say that you've been making them sandwiches all week?

Don't be ridiculous, Howard. Yesterday I took them to a restaurant.

But don't you understand?

Mesmer is coming.

He's got to see the whisper flush in a finished bathroom.

Marion, when you're selling toilets, atmosphere is everything.

Hey, that's very good. That's very good. Thanks, Fonz. Sure, now turn it on.

Fonzie, this place is a mess.

You want to make lemonade, you got to bust up some lemons.

But you don't understand. This bathroom's got to be finished by next

There's no problem there, Mr. C. We can do it by a Wednesday. I didn't say a

Wednesday. I said a next Wednesday.

I have an important customer coming here to examine the Whisper Flush.

Now, I don't think you understood.

This is a semester project.

These kids are going to take all semester.

Hey, yo, Pops, could you hold this up for me? Right here. Look, Fonzie, if you

don't finish the job by the end of the week, I got to get somebody else.

Wait a minute. You told me for money for a business proposition, you're going to

sell out my kids. You got it.

Excuse me.

I have gone about as far as I can with you on this, Fonzie.

You guys are fired.

Uh, hold it, Mr. C. You cannot fire that. This is schoolwork.

Excuse me. You're expelled. Now get out of my house. All right, everybody wait

for me in the hallway. Let's go. Come on, Lee.

Mr. C., you cannot do this to me. Don't you understand? If we do this, these

kids won't trust anybody anymore.

Oh, talking about trust, Fonzie, when you asked me for this job, you didn't

anything about taking all semester to do it. Au contraire.

As a matter of fact, Joanie said...

It's going to take a semester.

And when you heard the word cheat, you didn't care if canaries did this.

I am not going to stand here and let you call me cheat. All right, where do you

want to go?

Fonzie, there's an old saying.

Friends should never do business together.

Well, that's great, because right now we are neither.

Howard, what did you say to Arthur and the boys to make them so mad?

One of them mooned me on the way out.

I fired them, Marion.

Well, how are we going to get the bathroom finished?

I'm going to do it myself.

Yourself?

You're gonna turn this bathroom into a real show place here. Yeah. How you

doing, Johnny?

She still looks great.

Did you come over here to ogle my daughter, or have you got something else

mind? You mean I get a choice? No.

Well, in that case, I got something on my mind.

Mr. Cunningham finds he's really down.

You know, he says you're his second father to turn his back on him.

Oh, boy, give me a break, huh?

Look, tell Fonzie I'll be glad to make up with him. I'm big enough to accept

apology. Look at Fonzie's words exactly.

He seems to see you guys think alike. You belong together.

Just like Liz and Dick.

Like Simon and Schuster.

Like Rocky and Bullwinkle. Now, I happen to have a very important client

coming here, and this bathroom has got to be finished by tomorrow night.

Not that I don't appreciate your coming over here to irritate me. Anytime.

No, no, I'd say you did a pretty good job here. Oh, thank you. My head is

spinning with praise.

I can't figure out how to still her open.

Huh.

It doubles as a desk, right?

I'll fix it.

Hey, is that the whisper flush?

Water is boiling.

I bet you can make spaghetti in this thing.

Look, you build your bathroom your way and I'll do it mine.

Mr. Cunningham, you're in big trouble here. Can I give you some advice,

Can you call a contractor?

Call a plumber.

I got an idea. Call Fonzie.

I got a better idea.

What's that?

Why don't half the people who are here now be here now?

I guess you'll have to go back to whistling again.

Now the water's off in the other bathroom.

I can fix it, Marie. Well, Fonzie can fix it, darling. Fonzie can fix it.

can fix it. Can Fonzie do this?

Mr. Mesmer, I've been upstairs for a long time. I hope everything's okay.

Oh, everything's all right. You know, I really have to hand it to your father.

The bathroom looks great. It does. And it was finished just in time.

It's so exciting having two baths. Makes me feel Japanese.

How about that, huh, Mr. Mesmer?

Didn't I tell you that that whisper flush was quiet?

Cunningham, I have to admit, even with my head in the bowl, I couldn't hear a

thing.

My hair dry yet?

Well, everybody sit down. Dinner's ready.

I hope you like this. This recipe has been in our family for generations.

Oh, I was hoping for something fresh.

How about that? He's got 500 rooms in a hotel in a sense he over.

All right, so, uh, this is the toaster you want me to fix, huh?

I thought this was Lodge Night. I didn't know you were going to be here. I

thought you were going to growl at somebody.

I'm entertaining a business associate, Fonzie. This is Mr.

Mesmer, Mr.

Fonzarello. Oh, don't get up, don't get up. I'm just a tenant here.

Boy, you lucky, huh? This woman spreads out a great table.

Used to be my seat.

I'm only going to fix your side.

I was saying, Mr. Mesmer, I'm sure that you're going to find that the Whisper

Flush is quiet, efficient... Cutting him, cutting him, please. Cut the sales

pitch. I'm sold.

Oh, it worked great. I just happened to have the contract right here.

And I'll tell you something, Mr. Mesmer. You can certainly expect prompt

delivery. You see, when you buy a toilet from Cunningham Hardware, you're not

only... You're not only getting the toilet, but you're getting the man

behind the toilet.

Cunningham, what's going on here? Oh, it's probably nothing. You see, this is

old house. It's just the humidity.

Now, if you'll just sign right here.

And if you would be kind enough to initial right... Cunningham.

Your whisper flush should make a noise so that some people can get a warning.

Don't do that!

Oh, and Cunningham, another thing.

Don't even think about staying in one of my hotels.

I can fix it, Marion.

Hey, Mr. C.

You wanted to... This won't take long. I just need

to talk to you.

Oh, uh... I don't want to be picky or anything, but your medicine cabinet's

crooked.

Howard wanted me to ask you if you could get your students back to fix our

bathroom.

What is he, a ventriloquist?

I'd love to see his lips move.

Oh.

Fonzie, if you ask the students to come back and finish the bathroom, I'll...

Spit it out. I'll pay him.

You will pay them?

All right, all right. I know I have a reputation for being a little frugal,

you've got to understand that people my age, they grew up in the Great

Depression, and times were tough.

Guys would sell apples on street corners, and okay, I'm cheap.

I want to tell you something. It takes a very big man to admit that, Mr. C.

I'm sorry, Fonzie. I should never have put business above friendship. I let

those kids down.

No, it wasn't, you know, just your fault.

I should apologize, you know, for, um... Well, for, um...

Yeah, I think this one is your fault.

Yeah, well, I guess I let... My frugality got out of hand, but, uh...

I'm going to change.

Does that mean we can get a dishwasher?

No, but it means you can start using hot water, ma 'am. Oh, how.

A shortcake.

Oh, hey.

If you haven't seen 24 from the beginning, you don't know Jack.

Jack Bauer, that is. Keeper Sutherland stars in the critically acclaimed 24

every Sunday at 8 Eastern on Superstation WGN. See it from the very

minute.