Original subtitles

And then you would catch the other end of the garden hose to the sink.

Uh -huh.

And there's your washing machine.

Wow.

You have made some improvements.

Oh, and I put in a new garbage disposal.

The switch is over here. Okay. Okay, got it. Don't ever use it.

Ever. What if I run some water through it? Especially if you run water.

Okay, now.

You know the freaky thing about the fridge?

Yeah. What's the freaky thing about the fridge?

Every time you open the door, a light comes on.

Now, if you want hot water, you have to throw this switch, climb up on the roof,

and take the tarps off the solar panels. But don't run the solar heater for more

than 20 minutes, or the reflection off the panels will cause the oak tree to

burst into flames.

You know what? You guys are only going to be gone a couple of days. We probably

won't even need hot water.

Good, because it really doesn't get hot.

Now, let me show you how to give the goat his eardrums.

He's getting dizzy again.

Greg, I want you to make yourself at home here.

Thank you.

So feel free to have sex wherever you want.

That's very generous of you.

Kitchen's nice in the morning when the sun hits it.

I'm sure it is. Yeah.

And the kitchen table will hold your weight, but, you know, don't take a

jump at it.

Got it.

Let me show you the built -in ironing board. Now, that won't hold your full

weight, but you can kind of bend over.

Do you have relatives up in Seattle or something?

No, why do you?

No, I just assume that's why your parents were going up to Washington.

Ah, Washington, D .C.

Oh, your father said up to Washington. That means Washington State.

According to who?

Everybody who lives under Washington.

He uses up for both.

He can't. It makes no sense.

Why are you getting upset?

So my parents are going to Washington, D .C.? Big deal.

It's a big deal because my parents are going to Washington, D .C.

Really?

Well, it's a big city. It's not like they're going to run into each other.

Yeah, I suppose.

Besides, my father's spending the whole time testifying at some Senate

environmental subcommittee hearing.

protesting outside of some Senate environmental subcommittee hearing.

It's a pretty big Senate.

It's not like they're going to run into each other.

Million to one.

Oh, dear Lord, what are the odds?

Was that your tongue?

I couldn't imagine.

Pretty late? Are you coming to bed?

Hang on a minute. I'm watching one of your dad's videos.

The Watergate hearings?

Doesn't look good for Nixon.

Are you uncomfortable sleeping in my parents' bed?

No, not at all.

Because you could sleep in my old room. Larry said he got most of the baths out.

No, no, I'm fine in your parents' room.

But... Okay, maybe I have a little problem sleeping

where your folks sleep and... Make love?

Wow, if that bothers you, then we should bring in some lawn chairs, because you

don't want to be sitting on this couch.

the lawn chairs wouldn't be good either.

And I'd avoid that ironing board.

You really should watch this, Kitty.

That guy's Eddie Murphy, and that other guy's Eddie Murphy.

Sir, that's first class. You can't go up there. I have a legal right to use any

toilet in the plane.

Oh, hey, look!

Spanklestein. Eddie.

Kitty. Small world.

Positively minuscule.

Oh, wow.

They give you fresh baked cookies up here in ruling class.

Well, help yourself.

Thanks. So, we're going off to Washington.

Why'd you guys hide it?

You're right. It's water, Venice. Thank you.

Did the Dramamine help? Yeah.

A lot, thank you.

Still weird about being in my parents' bed?

I prefer to think of it as my ocean of love.

That's what Larry calls it.

Now you ruined it for me.

Nunzio's making a pass at the goat again. Okay.

I'll go. Thanks, honey.

Doesn't he know it's a male goat? Don't judge him. Just bring him inside.

Hey, hey, keep it down. Keep it down.

What's that?

What you got there? You've been digging.

Nunzio, what you got there?

What you got, Nunzio?

upset, Greg, but you really can't blame the dogs. It's in their nature to dig up

bones. No, no, no.

You're missing the point. These are human bones. We have a body here.

I know. That's my Uncle Pinto.

Actually, he wasn't my real uncle, and his name wasn't even Pinto. I want to

Buster, Bobo.

It was something you'd name a clown.

Bingo?

What is he doing in the backyard?

It was his last request.

Dharma, there are laws against this. You can't just bury somebody wherever you

want. Why is that a law?

I don't know. Health reasons, zoning reasons, creepy reasons.

Pinto loved my parents, and he wanted to be close to them, even in death.

Plus, you know, he's giving back.

What do you mean?

Well, that's where Abby grows those tomatoes you love so much.

Okay. I think the Dremamine just wore off.

We have to call the police and report this.

Why? Because the law has been broken. And you want my father to get in

Of course not.

Well, I may be just a dumb girl with a shovel, but if you don't want to get a

feller in trouble, I reckon you ought not call the police.

I hate this. I know you do. No, I mean, I really hate it. Hate don't get the

whole dog, son.

I think we missed one.

Nunzio, I just planted flowers.

Daisies, get it? Yeah, I got it.

Will you stay out here with me while I say a few words to Pinto?

Yeah, sure.

Do you want to say anything?

Yeah, but you don't want to hear it.

We commit to the ground what I hope is the last piece of Pinto.

I'm sorry about the doggies, but it was really nice to get a chance to see you

again.

What do they want? What are we going to do? Relax.

We're planting flowers in the backyard.

That's good.

We're just a husband and wife planting flowers.

Hi. Hi.

Sorry it took me so long. We're just a husband and wife planting flowers.

What can I do for you?

We left a notice last week. We've got to lay some pipe through your backyard.

Does it have to go there? Because my wife just planted those daisies.

Oh, and here's something you're never going to believe.

Abby and Larry almost got married.

And, uh, is she talking to him? Yes, she is.

He's, uh, nuts.

But the gardening helps.

Could you possibly come back later?

Possibly? Well, I guess we can start in the neighbor's yard. Yeah, that would be

very, very much better. Goodbye.

Well, goodbye, Pinto.

Sleep with the angels.

Wake up, Pinto. Road trip. What?

The DWP is going to be here in a little while to dig up the yard for some pipes.

No, we won't let them. No, we have to let them. It's the law.

Oh, so they can just bury their pipes wherever they want, but we can't bury

friends in our own backyard.

What kind of sick world do we live in?

Just help me move the body. No.

Larry made a promise to Pinto that this would be his final resting ground. We

have to honor that. Okay, how about this? We'll just get him up for a little

while, and then they can lay their pipes, and then we'll put him back.

The only pipe he's spending eternity with is the one he was toking on when he

died.

made the promise to Pinto? What if I got him on the phone and he said that it

was okay to move him?

Craig, one thing you need to know about my father is that he never ever breaks a

promise. So once you remind him that he buried Pinto back here and that Pinto

was a friend of his and that he made a promise never to move Pinto, he'll never

let you do it.

Why don't I give it a shot?

In short, Mr.

Chairman, who are better stewards of the environment than those who derive their

livelihood from that very resort?

Excuse me.

Hello?

Oh, Greg, hi.

It's Greg.

Tell him you'll call him back, dear.

Son, I'll have to call you back.

Well, if it's that important... Hang on.

Could I have another moment, Mr. Chairman?

let you touch my daisies i promised my father no one's gonna hurt your daisies

we just need to move them put down some pipe and then we're gonna put them

back i'm sorry this involves a promise made by

someone who is not here to someone who is no

Call my supervisor and see if we can't just sort all this out.

I like your jumpsuit.

Okay, let's start digging.

Did you talk to my dad? Yes, I did. What did he say?

He said it was fine.

Greg. What does it matter what he said? If we don't move Pinto, then the DWP is

going to find him, and then the police are going to be here, and then the TV

cameras, and our life is really going to change.

I guess it would be nice to bury him a little deeper. Larry put him right over

the septic tank.

I'm never eating your mother's tomatoes again.

And as the arms of Mother Earth embrace you once again, we wish your spirit

peace. DWP!

I'm going to wrap it up.

Hi. Hey, how you doing?

Timmy told me about your wife's situation, about her not being, uh...

Totally right.

I appreciate that. Anyhow, we rerouted the supply trunk so we can avoid your

wife, Daisy, and we'll run the pipe right through the middle of that patch

dirt where she's kneeling.

Bring in the backhoe! Bring in the backhoe!

Oh, you know, I'm thinking you're going to bring those big, loud machines in

here, and she's just about ready for her nap.

How long can you give me?

Tell you what, we'll take our lunch break now and start digging in about an

hour. Thanks, thanks.

You guys, you do great work, you know, the water and the power. I don't know

you keep it all straight.

Everything is clearly marked.

And so, Pinto, we say goodbye.

It's weird.

I haven't thought about him in years.

And now all of a sudden I really miss him.

Well, then I have good news.

What's this?

It's Slowpoke the Third.

Slowpoke the Third? Uh -huh.

My turtle.

You know when we buried him, Greg?

When? Right after Rigor Tortoise set in.

You know, Grandma, we're running out of time.

Why don't we just put him back in the ground? I'm sure that Pinto loved

No! You can't bury Pinto in Slowpoke's grave. What was I thinking?

We recommit to the ground the earthly shell of Slowpoke III, son of Slowpoke

and Shelly.

I think I just found the Polk family plot.

Hey, sorry we're late.

We had a nooner.

You had a nooner.

You had a ringside seat.

Grandma?

Isn't there any place in this yard where we can bury a body?

Uh, we've got a bigger problem.

What? I can't find his head. Oh, gee, Sticky, did you take the head again?

But no, you have to play with a human head.

They're going to be here any minute. Okay, okay, I'll look for the head. You

look for a place to bury the body.

Did Dharma say where her parents were going to be this weekend?

No, she said, come on over, the place will be ours.

I don't want to know anymore, do you?

Not really.

Nothing? Rock.

No, that was a lunchbox. I heard it.

Bay City Rollers.

What pet was this?

I don't know.

Nothing in it?

Oh, that was my fear of the dark. Abby and I buried it.

Bye, Pinto. You're in a better place now.

Well, he's certainly farther away from the septic tank.

Hey, look who's up.

Want to see our big digging machine?

We're not ready because, well, it was going to be a surprise, but we were

to dig for you our tree.

What's that?

You know, we don't live here.

But you know who does?

This guy. This guy who was buried here a long time ago by his friends who

wanted him to rest in peace. And if that's wrong, then freeze this till they

find a cure.

That's a guy?

Like, a dead guy?

Yes.

Well, I guess I know what we got to do.

Dog leg around the grave and connect back to the secondary main on a 45.

You mean you're not going to call the police?

What time is it?

Four o 'clock. Do you know what this means?

No.

Don't work past.

Congratulations on getting your bill passed.

Thanks. You fellas put up a first -class protest.

A lot of good it did.

You should have seen it 30 years ago.

I tell you, civil disobedience is a young man's game.

Anyway, here's your phone. Oh, thanks.

I made a call. When you get the bill, I'll pay you back. No problem.

It was to my mother up in Miami Beach.

Come on, we're blocking people.

Enjoy your offshore drilling rights.

Can I have a couple of those warm cookies?

Edward, what are you doing?

I'm going to go cheer them up.

Judas Priest, they pack you people in like sardines.