Original subtitles

Ladies and gentlemen, the Dean Martin Celebrity Roast, honoring the man of the

hour, Mr.

Bob Hope, with tonight's guests,

Ginger Rogers, Reverend Billy Graham, Johnny Bench, Foster Brooks,

Governor Ronald Reagan, Mitzi Russell,

John Rickles, Sugar Ray Robinson, Mark Spitz,

Jar Jar Gabor, John Wayne on location, Secretary of State Henry Kissinger,

and your Roastmaster, Dean Martin.

And tonight's very special man of the hour, Bob Holtz.

This is the most sensational happening since they found Toadie Fields'

in the backseat of Wilbur Mills' car.

Bob was born in Eltham, England, one of seven brothers, and oddly enough, There

are similarities in our birth data or data, either one. Bob was the fifth son

a stone mason, and I was the stone son of a white mason with a fifth.

There was very little excitement in the town of Eltham, England, except on

Saturday nights.

That's when the townspeople sat around and waited for their polygrip to harden.

must say, he couldn't afford writers then.

In the late 30s, Bob was in vaudeville and then starred on his own radio show.

When World War II broke out, Bob hoped to volunteer to go overseas to entertain

our G .I.

Bob holds the singular distinction of being the only civilian who was ever

slapped by General Patton.

All during the war, Bob was always where the action was.

The Whacked Barracks.

During the Italian campaign, when the bombs fell on Salerno, Bob did a heroic

thing. He threw himself on Sophia Lorenz.

Nine times he threw himself on Sophia Lorenz.

And at Bob's last Christmas show in Vietnam, it was Ho Chi Minh himself who

to Bob,

Which means no more bring Jim neighbors.

And now I'd like to introduce Flip Wilson, who is also known to millions of

Americans as Geraldine.

But like most overnight successes, Flip worked many years to achieve stardom.

There was a time when he would put on the same blonde wig, miniskirt, and high

heels, and no one would recognize him except for a couple of psychiatrists and

handful of vice squad officers.

Ladies and gentlemen, here she is, Flip Wilson.

At first, I plan to talk about Bob Hope's contribution to the advancement

black people.

So I did a little research and found out that, Bob, you've stiffed us.

Then I remember there was one area where he must have come across with a little

bread for the brothers.

I said, there had to be this one area. I mean, this had to be a lot for us.

So I checked it out.

Nothing.

Found out he washes his own car.

So my subject tonight will be golf.

At least we have that in common, Bob.

I play the game, too.

I don't have to tell you what my handicap is.

You told me when I tried to join your club.

Bob, I must say that I've always envied your having your own golf tournament.

The Bob Hope Desert Classic.

I've decided to have one of my own.

called the Flip Wilson Ghetto Open.

Now, Barbara, I know your tournament is played to benefit the Eisenhower

Memorial Hospital.

Mine will be played for the Ritchie Pryor Clinic for rat bites and bullet

wounds.

The winner of the tournament will receive a check for $36 ,000, or, if he

prefers, $100 in actual cash.

In case there's a tie, you'll be settled by sudden death.

That way, we won't have to play an extra hole.

With this one, you're going to have some special prizes, too. For instance, if

anyone makes the hole they want, he wins a car.

The exact make and model will be determined sometime late that night.

And just like you have celebrities that you torment, we're going to have our own

group. You had Billy Graham.

We're going to have Reverend Ike.

You have Dinah Shore, we're going to have Moms Maybe.

You have Spiro Agnew, we're going to have Spiro Agnew.

As in term of the governor of California, the Honorable Ronald Reagan.

Thank you, Dean. I was a little surprised when I was asked to be here

honor Bob Hope.

Well, surprised isn't exactly the right word.

Annoyed.

I've got a lot of important decisions to make in the next several weeks.

Like, do I go with beacons or stick with U -Haul?

Accepting this invitation, I don't want the taxpayers to think that I'd make a

special trip down here just to be on this program.

Now, that would be frivolous. I just happen to be in town anyway for

really important.

A guest shot on Hollywood Squares.

Bob would do well in politics. He certainly has to be one of the most

faces in America.

He's entertained over 10 million troops and seen by more than 100 million TV

viewers. And if you throw in the 27 people who've seen these movies, you

pretty sizable consideration.

I'm the last one to criticize somebody's movie career.

I've had a few disasters myself.

I don't criticize governors either.

Bob Hope is a man of remarkable accomplishments.

He's been America's most favored comedian at a time when America was in

bewildered state of mind.

He's entertained six presidents. He's performed for 12.

Seriously, Bob, I know that over the years you've received many tributes and

awards, and it gives me great pleasure to tell you that in honor of this

occasion... The state legislature has unanimously passed a bill naming you

California's foremost citizen.

I vetoed it.

Our next guest is America's favorite Western hero, John Wayne.

When Duke first rode into California, all he carried was a gun and a snakebite

kit. in case he was bitten by Don Rickles.

And now, Duke's up in Oregon filming his new movie.

See if you can spot the clever way he sneaked in a plug for his picture.

Ladies and gentlemen, here's my old buddy, John Wayne.

Hi, Bob, this is John Rooster Cogburn on location in Bend, Oregon, filming the

sequel to True Grit, co -starring Catherine Hepburn, a Hal Wallace

Wayne.

Did I do that okay, Dean?

Perfect, pal.

I'm really sorry I couldn't be there with you tonight, Bobby.

You know, one of the great disappointments of my career is that I

been able to make a picture with you.

About as disappointing as not doing one with Jane Fonda.

I gotta go now, Bob.

My big scene is coming up.

We have got a little problem.

Hepburn thinks it's her big seat.

See you, friend.

Have a good rope.

Bob Hope has one of the most hectic schedules in the world.

A typical week may find him in a dozen cities, ten different countries. The

responsibility of flying him to all of his commitments, such as the roast

tonight, rests on the shoulders of one person.

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the man who has been Bob Hope's personal

pilot for the last 32 years, Captain Foster Brooks.

I feel too bad you packed her shooter to safety, eh, safety?

As I did.

I hate laying those great gray things down in the dark.

As the steward for Alitalia just told you, I

am boo -bop, pop -boo -boo.

I am buh -buh -buh.

I am our host's personal child.

So far this year, we've logged three million miles together.

Most of them trying to find this place.

Not everyone is qualified to perform a

task as demanding as the one I have chosen to make my wife's

work.

It requires a man with rich...

or sharp reflexes, a man with complete control of his senses, a man who is able

to execute split -second decisions, knowing that the slightest error in

could mean the demise of one of the most revered and best -loved citizens on

Earth. I think I'm going to throw up.

Bob, a lot of your friends and admirers couldn't be here tonight.

They're so lucky.

So they sent you some wires.

I'm going to read the first one. It says, Dear Mr. Hope, you probably won't

remember me, but you said many, many years ago that when you made it big in

business, you'd come back and get me. I'm still here in Cleveland, your wife,

Dolores.

I'm going to give you a very great quote for this last one. It says, Dear Bob,

I've been trying to get your attention for some time, but you've been too

preoccupied. I feel this is important enough to send a telegram.

Your fly is open. Signed, Jimmy Stewart.

Mr. Jimmy Stewart, Jimmy and I made a picture together a few years back called

Bandolero. In the picture, Jimmy could draw his gun in less than half a second.

But by the time he said, I got you covered, everybody in the picture was

I was just thinking, making outdoor pictures like Bandolero

must do you good.

You know, you always had a kind of a healthy glow.

I remember you had a glow on all during the picture.

There was one scene in that picture that I think I liked you best of all in, and

that was the fight in the saloon.

You got knocked down a flight of stairs, you crashed into a table, you tossed

over a bar, you're thrown out of a window, and you never spilled a drop.

I'm here tonight to salute Bob Hope, a man who knows

the secret about how to make people laugh.

And the one thing you can say about Bob, he sure knows how to keep a secret.

Well, as a matter of fact, I was in a picture with Bob

one time. It never reached the theaters.

It was Bob's first dramatic role and his last one. But Bob

played a sheriff.

And in the big scene, he'd just been shot, you see.

And I was kneeling in the street beside him with a cradle in his head and my

hands. And they'd written this marvelous death speech for him. And I remember

Bob looking up at me.

And he had a sort of a dramatic cough that he'd worked up.

And his face was all twisted in pain. And he began his dying speech.

And he said,

This is Bob. It's good to be shot in Tucson, Hope.

I want you to get those two guys that shot me.

One of them was tall and skinny.

He was so skinny, you had to tie knots in his legs to make knees.

The other guy's real ugly.

In fact...

Vultures used to fly past them with one wing over their eyes.

Things are getting dark for him.

Things are getting... We've ridden a lot of trails together, you and me.

All of them, most of them side saddles.

As I was saying...

I owe you a lot.

I owe you a lot, partner. So, thanks for the memory.

Right now, I'd like you to be Mr.

Milton Berle. And now, if we give him a nice round of applause, maybe we can get

him to remain in his seat.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I am very, very, very happy to be here tonight to honor my good friend Bob

He and I go back a long time, back to the days when hot pants was a condition.

Bob Hope became a big movie star. He made Paramount Studios what it is today.

An empty lock next to a cemetery.

I'm sorry. That's when Bob Hope in those days thought he was a lover.

Didn't you, Bob?

Poor Bob.

Today we're going through a sexual revolution just when Hope ran out of

ammunition.

This man that I am talking about, this Burt Reynolds of the menopause sector,

where does he get his energy to keep working the way he does? It's very

He loves to keep busy. He loves to make people laugh.

And besides, Dolores wants him to get the hell out of the house.

Our next guest is... Billy Graham, a man known all over the world, and he and

Bob Hope have been friends for a quarter of a century.

I count Billy Graham among my friends, too, even though the first time I shook

hands with him, one half of me went sober.

It is now my pleasure to introduce the Reverend Billy Graham.

Thanks, Dean. I saw the drink here, and I thought you were going to leave it

here for me.

But as I look over your congregation and some of your guests here tonight, I see

that I have a great deal of work still to do.

And one of the reasons that I think that Bob Hope has lasted is because of his

genuineness. He's absolutely genuine, 100%. There is no pretense about Bob

except when it comes to counting his golf goals.

We've been friends for a good many years, but there's nothing probably that

wouldn't do for each other or to each other.

For instance, I recall down in Dallas some time ago, we were golf partners in

golf tournament with Byron Nelson.

And Bob asked me to sign his scorecard.

And I had to refuse on the grounds of the Ninth Commandment.

Thou shall not bear false witness.

So you know what Bob did?

Bob signed my name.

to the scorecard on the grounds that there's no commandment that says thou

not commit forgery.

God bless you.

See, they got my whole act up here.

And there's Howard Cosell.

Pretending to have a good time.

But I'll tell you what's really on his mind.

Nothing.

Now, Howard's sitting there saying to himself,

I hope this roast doesn't go too long tonight because I've got to get home and

make up some more of those funny signs for next Monday night's football match.

You know what he's thinking?

Now, remember, it's Bob, oh, Bob, oh, Bob, Bob. Now, when you get

up there, remember, it's Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob.

You know, come to think of it, now that I look over the

days here, I can do everybody up here. Well, almost everybody, but the guest of

honor. You can't do Geraldine, honey.

I'm going to throw you the highlights of Bob Hope's movies.

This won't take very long.

All of Bob Hope's pictures had the same thing in common.

They were sophisticated, cultured, and high class.

Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man.

Bake a cake as fast as you can.

Patty cake, patty cake, baker's man. Bake a cake as fast as you... Patty

patty cake, baker's man.

Bake a cake as fast as you...

Patty cake, patty cake, baker's hat, baker's cake.

Bob has never won an Oscar, and here's the reason why.

I can't go on.

open your big mouth and ruin the only good scene I got in the picture.

Finally, here's Hope the Dancer.

Bob has great rhythm until it reaches his feet.

A two, a three, a four.

Now here's the outspoken master of the English language, Mr. Howard Costell.

all know Howard.

He's delivered so many big words, he has stretch marks on his mouth.

Ladies and gentlemen, the great mouthpiece, Mr.

Howard Costell.

You know, my good friend, it's a specious honor to be introduced by an

like yourself, who has made, ladies and gentlemen, such staggering contributions

to American music.

Who will ever forget the memorable content of those lyrical and poetic

When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore.

than never to be forgotten, you know?

Oh, Laurie.

Oh, oh.

Oh, Laurie.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

But actually, you look great tonight, Bob.

One looks at you and knows it's the orthopedic tuxedo.

I wager the thing, Bob, Hope is best noted for, Dino, unlike yourself, is

entertaining the serviceman.

He's discontinued the trips. He still can't get out of the habit. This

Christmas, ladies and gentlemen, Robert Hope is going to Mattel Toys to

entertain the G .I. Joe doll. We'll all be there.

Howard, you're great with words.

Nothing with jokes, but great with words.

Ladies and gentlemen, the sunshine boy, Mr. Jack Benny.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. I'm glad to have been invited here tonight.

And I'm sure you'll hear some wonderful things said about Bob.

but not from me.

For the benefit of you, who may not be aware of it, Bob was born in England,

and the first time he came to entertain to America was to entertain the troops

at Valley Pord.

In fact, Bob liked entertaining the troops so much, he decided to make the

every Christmas.

And he did this at a great sacrifice.

On every one of these trips, he had to take with him Jill St.

John, Anita Egbert, Raquel Welch, Ann Margaret, and the Gold

Diggers.

I wouldn't go through that ordeal for a hundred dollars.

Almost every TV comedian, of course, uses cue cards.

But Bob's the only one I know who uses them at house parties.

He even used cue cards on his wedding night.

Can you imagine a man not knowing what to say on his wedding?

He was so nervous, he finally threw up his hands and shouted, Not now,

sweetheart, I have a headache.

And his wife, Delora, said, Bob, you're reading my card.

You always make fun of Zaza Gabor and her marriages. I don't know why. She's

only had five husbands and four of them were her own.

One she drew back because she was over her limit for the year.

Ladies and gentlemen, a woman of whom the 4th Hungarian Cavalry once said...

Well, Bob has his way of entertaining the troops, and I have mine.

Darling, you've said such terrible things about me. Am I glad I never

you?

Dear sweet Bob, you always have a soft spot in my heart.

That's why I never married you.

Even though Mama says, how can a man with $300 million not be sexy?

But somehow you manage it.

Your monologue lasted much longer than one of your marriages.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Nipsey Russell.

We herald and acclaim Bob Hope tonight for his accomplishments and his deeds.

Bob did a benefit performance in what? And opened the show singing Bye Bye

Blackbird.

that have been said here tonight because Bob is the soul of propriety. When he

was doing his show in New York City, he got back to his hotel room, found two

gorgeous females languishing in his boudoir, undulating seductively

to lustful music. Bob said, just a minute.

He said, I'm a married man.

You're beautiful, but it is not proper for you two young girls to be here in my

room.

his elbow, he wouldn't shake my hand.

And I appealed to Bob. I said, Bob, tell the man that it's time my people took

their rightful place in society.

Bob said, your rightful place is in the rhythm section of the band.

But anyway, I stand here as one of the few people who has had the great

fortune of making a tour with Bob Hope.

I remember he rushed onto the wrong plane accidentally and sat down with

people being transferred to an institution for the criminally insane.

The attendant came by checking his roster. He said, one, two, three.

He saw Bob. He said, who are you?

He said, Battlefield Bob, troubadour of the war zone and friend of every

president of the United States.

The guy said, fire.

Nipsey is funny, I admit that, but let me tell you, uptown we got niggas like

better than him and we ain't working.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very proud to be able to introduce this time America's

only living five -star general, General of the Army, Bomar Nelson Bradley.

It was during World War II that I first met old Geno here.

I cannot deny Bob's great courage.

Time after time, while flying to do a show, his plane was shot at,

by the enemy.

I'm grateful to be here, part of this show, especially since earlier this

evening...

Bob implied that he is thinking of getting

out of show business.

Maybe this isn't so startling and bad after all.

This great American has always been willing to do what's best for the

Ladies and gentlemen, the six million dollar man.

Thank

you,

Dean.

Dean, you are a beautiful hunk of man.

And if General Bradley orders me to attack, you're first.

I am to be here because I owe a lot to Bob Hope. It was Bob Hope who made it

possible for me to have my facelift.

He sold my old nose to Carl Malden.

But when I first came to Hollywood, it was Bob who discovered me. I was working

at a kennel.

Testing flea collars.

in a movie with bob what a lover he really knows how to kiss a girl i

seen movement like that with lips since i gave my dog a sticky tootsie roll

now

i'm not saying the picture was bad but the premiere was held at a photomap

You made me what I am today.

Depressed.

I asked Bob if there was anyone special he'd like to appear on tonight's roast.

He said he'd always want to meet Howard Hughes.

I said, gee, Bob, you might as well ask.

For the man in the moon, so he did, and we got him.

Mr. Neil Armstrong.

Shortly after our moon landing, Bob invited me to join him on his annual

Christmas tour.

This was in keeping with one of Bob's firmly established traditions, exploit

anybody in the news.

I know this comes as a surprise to you, Mark.

Of course, the lunar landing made headlines all over the world.

So it seemed a bit strange when Bob said, come with me on the tour and I'll

you famous.

But Bob, just to show you that there's no hard feelings, I've arranged a

treat for you.

You often told me how you'd... I'd like to have a ride on a rocket.

So I've fixed it for you.

Your rocket is waiting on the rim of the Snake River Canyon.

Have a good night.

There have been so many attacks on Bob Hope tonight, we figured we should call

in a mediator. Ladies and gentlemen, it's my honor to present from

.C., our Secretary of State, Dr. Henry Kissinger.

It is a great pleasure for me to pay tribute to my friend and fellow

globetrotter, Bob Hope, who symbolizes so well the sense of humor of our

country.

There was some doubt as to whether I could make an appearance on this show

because of my tight schedule.

But when I hesitated, Bob said that if I didn't appear, he would stop paying his

taxes.

And you know what that would mean for government solvency.

We don't do anything in Washington these days without asking the permission of

Congress.

So I asked Congress whether I could appear, and I have a message to you from

entire Congress.

They have proclaimed you the funniest man in the world.

The vote was 268 to 267.

I think we can all agree that Bob's humor, his joy, and laughter, and

represent something universal in the human spirit.

I am therefore delighted to be a part of this evening's tribute to my friend,

Bob Hope.

Thank you.

And now it's time to introduce the master of the insults.

The only man who holds a black belt for hatred.

Evel Knievel's next jump is his mouth.

Ladies and gentlemen, I hope you've had your rabies shot because here he comes,

Mr. Don Rick.

Dean, I thank you for your wonderful introduction.

You would love the evening if you knew you were here.

We have so many great celebrities. Of course, I want to thank Neil Armstrong.

Neil?

Over here, Neil. You're down.

Neil Armstrong, the great astronaut, said in the capsule, Hey, man, it's the

moon. But I kid you. You're a great hero. You've told me that time and time

again.

Thanks, Sugar Ray Robinson, who said to Rocky Graziano in the fifth round, hey,

baby, you're hurting me.

Sugar Ray is a great champion. Sugar, we'd ask you to talk, but you know the

blacks, your lips lock.

I'll tell you this.

I kid Jack Benny, a great star, God bless him. Milton Berle, great people.

is wonderful being here at the home.

And I say this from my heart.

No, it's a joke. It's a joke.

It's a joke.

It takes many years to be a great comedian.

Sure does. You ain't reached that year yet.

Uh,

thank you, Jerry.

Why not, Dean? There's a contract out for you.

Wants to knock your friend. Wants to knock you off.

Manganzo, mangananzo.

Bob Hope just turned around.

Is he troubled?

I kid. I kid, Dean. He's Italian. And we need the Italian people to find out

where the mail goes.

We need people like Bob Hope.

He is not Irish. He's not Jewish. He's not Italian. He's not black.

Just an all -American guy. When he was born, he came out of his mother with a

flag wrapped around him.

Jimmy Stewart, one of our great stars.

And James Stewart, I'd love you. We'd ask you to stand, but we know the

could make you ill.

Jimmy Stewart has been a great star for so many years. General Omar Bradley, all

our great stars. Governor Ronald Reagan, who's going to retire after so many

years of good service.

And Governor, I say from my heart, I'm fed up with you.

It was great to all of you. And Billy Graham, bless you, Billy.

I mean that from my heart. You've helped me to walk again.

And I know this from my heart.

I've always walked, but Billy helped me to walk faster.

And as Billy Graham and Marjo always said, If Bob Hope knows...

And so in all honesty, America loves you. Our president loves you. You are

America. And to you, Bob Hope, may God be good to you and yours.

And I thank you for letting me be part of this dais. On behalf of my wife, my

children, I am delighted to say I know Mr. Bob Hope. Bless you.

Our next speaker is the person who over the years has been closest to you.

Yes, Bob, even closer than Les Brown.

For the past 40 years, your wife, Dolores, has raised your children, kept

house, and packed your bags.

In fact, she told us that she sent you packing over 200 times, but you never

to hit.

And now my great pleasure to introduce to the audience and to you, Bob, your

lovely wife, Dolores.

However, very difficult to sit back and sit quietly while all these things

were being said about Bob, these insults and ridicules.

Many times I felt like jumping to my feet and shouting, here, here.

Dean, I'd like to thank you for...

giving me the privilege of introducing the guest of honor, which, oddly enough,

is what we call him at home.

And so, ladies and gentlemen, here's that moment we've all been dreading.

The man of the hour, my husband, Bob Hope.

Thank you very much.

I wish she'd get steady work.

No, it's nice to see her.

I haven't been traveling too much lately, and I've gotten to know some of

family personally.

It's nice to be here, Dean, and I wanted to tell you that I'm happy that NBC

renewed your liquor license for another year.

Don't you love the way Dean reads cue cards? If he doesn't like the joke, he

breathes on it and erases it.

Now, it was nice of Flip to show.

Is that all of them?

I've never seen him before without high heels. Is that it?

Well, thank you, Flip. No, I really miss Flip's theories, but he has to face the

facts. He's good, but he's no Sonny Bono.

And I do want to thank Governor Reagan for his kind words. Incidentally, the

governor has no presidential aspirations.

In fact, he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell him he's not running

anything.

Milton Berle's here.

Milton's the first comic to ever be impeached.

Johnny Bennett, the greatest catcher of all time.

You ever see him behind the plate? He wears more padding than Phyllis Diller.

I like John. I really do. He doesn't care about baseball. He just stands in

hall out here watching the chicks and smiling.

Of course, you'd smile, too, if you spent all your afternoons on grass.

I really enjoyed Phyllis Diller, the girl who inspired that great movie,

I can't get over how well she looked since she had that operation. It's a

miracle. It was over a year ago, and the stitches on the right are still

holding.

And wasn't John Wayne wonderful?

In his next sequel to Through Grit, John is really giving us a thrill.

He's wearing the patch over his mouth.

And Sugar Ray is one of my great, great favorites. Everyone knows about the

great job you're doing, Sugar, with your youth foundation, football, baseball,

boxing, basketball.

You taught those kids how to bet on all of them.

And Ginger Rogers. The last time I worked with Ginger was on a Christmas

Alaska. She not only stole the show, but she replaced two electric blankets.

And thank you, Billy Graham.

Star of radio, television, and heaven.

I expect to see General Jimmy Stewart here. As usual, Jimmy's the man of few

words and even fewer laughs.

Now, Jimmy had me over to his house last week, and what a thrilling evening. He

showed slides of his last trip to Fresno.

And it's nice to see Zsa Zsa now that she's free again.

Oh, I'm sorry. I should have said divorced.

She's never been free.

Ladies and gentlemen, by General Bradley's presence here this evening,

about great generals. On June the 11th, 1944, he was parachuted behind enemy

lines and under cover of night, snuck into the heart of Berlin and single

-handedly captured Marlene Dietrich's garter belt.

And next time you were really up there tonight, you keep it up and you'll be

pumping gas for Chico and the man.

And Don Rickles got some news today. He was made poster boy for Tidy Bowl.

Don, I just can't figure out why you're doing commercials for Right Guard. You

should be on for Raid.

Closing, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a great night. You know, somebody once

said you can measure a man by the caliber of his enemies, and I flatter

to believe it might also apply to the friends who come to roast them.

And if I am right in that assumption, and it is rare that I am not,

Then I thank all of you giants of our business for the size your affectionate

malice lends to me. Thank you very much.

Motor trips and burning lips and burning toast and prunes.

How lovely it was.

Thanks for the memory of candlelight and wine.

Castles on the Rhine, the part of the night. And moments on the Hudson River

line.

How lovely it was.

Many is the time.

we feasted.

And many the time that we fasted.

Oh, well, it was swell while it lasted.

We did have fun and no harm done.

So thanks for the memory.