Original subtitles

Oh, let me finish. So, for 300, you can talk to Mendel. Mendel's over here while

I drink a glass of water.

Dishes are all done.

Now, can I have a piece of cake?

Did you clean the oven?

I'll be right back.

Nice kid. Nice kid. I'm glad we married him, Sam.

I could never get him to do chores at home. What's your secret?

He makes better cake.

How do you think it's so moist?

Oh, well, I just, uh, I just did water.

I get a pair. I get a pair. Oh, this happens every time it rains.

Joe's a contractor.

Why don't you have him take a look at it? Joe, take a look at it. Huh?

You do like that cake.

Ever heard of acid rain?

Well, you got a leak.

Isn't he something?

Oh, yeah, he's wonderful.

Tell me, Mr. Wizard, if the water's coming in here, why is it leaking down

there? Well, the rain comes in along the window well metal, runs along the floor

joist to the lowest point where it collects and leaks into the room below.

I want you so bad right now.

Anyway, about the leak, what do we do?

Don't worry about it, Angela. I'm going to do some caulking along the L metal,

right? I'll add some weather stripping and that'll fix it. That'll make it

worse. You didn't let me finish.

You got too much dry rot. You need to replace the window.

Okay, we'll replace the window.

Hmm.

What? Well, I was just thinking, if we're going to replace that window, why

put in a bigger one? You know, I mean, your bedroom always has been kind of

and dank.

know about that.

Besides, a bigger window would be pretty expensive, right, Joe? Well, not

necessarily. Correct me if I'm wrong, Joe, but doesn't it mean just putting in

bigger header?

Well, it doesn't sound too bad, but I don't know, Tony. Oh, you're right,

right. It's not my room. I shouldn't be saying anything.

Well, actually, it will be when we're married.

Hey, that's right.

Damn the expense. Let's make this place livable.

Okay, okay.

Put in your bigger window. I always thought the room was bright and cheery.

do I know?

It's a lovely room. It's a lovely room. It's even going to be better when we're

finished. Look at this.

Picture this, Angela.

We're right here, right?

We're in bed, cuddling up, right? And we're looking out our new big window,

And then we're warming our feet in front of a crackling fire.

What fire?

Oh, that's another thing. That's another thing I was thinking.

See, wouldn't it be nice to have a fireplace over there? Well, that

sounds expensive, right, Joe? Not necessarily. Correct me if I'm wrong.

But since the downstairs fireplace goes right through this wall, couldn't we

just tap right into it? Well, you could tap into it. Great, let's do it. Let's

do it. Here's a picture of this. A fireplace.

A victim owned.

Pictionary. We'll never have to leave this room.

When you put it like that, how can I say no?

You can't.

Leave me alone, Joe.

As soon as our children get a divorce.

What? He doesn't like to work for friends or family. Oh, are you afraid

going to have to give somebody a break on the price? It's just a rule I have,

but there's a terrific guy I'd be happy to recommend.

Dave is good. He's responsible. He's tough. We were in the Marines together.

was shelled during the war.

So I'm sure he can deal with you.

Get away from me! You're insane!

It's the 16th of an inch wall paint does in life. It's not going to be a perfect

match. Fuck!

fix it. I quit.

But, but, what?

Shell shock.

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road.

There's a path you take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my

friend. Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life.

A brand new life, a brand new life around the bend.

So you want to close this off?

No, I want you to put a diving board up so I can jump into the neighbor's pool.

Sorry, my guy flaked out on you. Whatever the reason, which we'll find

As soon as we get him out of the fetal position.

I feel like it's my responsibility to finish this job.

Oh, Joe, you don't have to do that.

Yes, he does.

If it was a guy I recommended, I'd be doing the same thing and at a big

discount.

cover my costs and overhead.

I'm not out to make any money off of you. That's good. This way you won't be

disappointed. What's the news?

We appreciate your help.

Not as much as I do.

I'm the one that's got to share a bed with her until this is finished.

She's cold. She's bony.

And soon, soon she's going to be all yours.

Bony, huh?

may smother you in your sleep tonight.

Not with you in the room.

All right, please.

When can you start, Joe? Tomorrow morning. Great.

See, now you can relax the houses in good hands. I should be able to finish

up in three days. That's wonderful.

I just had a thought. Four days.

No, no, no, no, please. Bear with me. Bear with me a second here. Wouldn't it

great? Wouldn't it be great if this right here, this right here was a window

seat? A window seat, you see?

character to the room.

Oh, I've always loved that look.

It'll be so Laura Ashley with lace and pillows.

Hey, look, I don't know who this Ashley broad is, but you just added a week.

Another week with the corpse?

That's it.

That's it, I'm jumping. Come on, let's go pick out lace.

I said I'm jumping.

Hey, hey, hey, don't leave that there.

You damaged anything? comes out of your pocket.

I saw that.

Hi, hi, muffin man.

There you are. Enjoy yourself.

Saved you a banana nut, Joe.

Thanks, Tony.

Hate to interrupt, but you know, you got to keep those workers happy. Oh, you

got to keep the workers working.

Oh, okay, okay. I'm getting out of your hair. Since you're here, I do have a

question. You do? You do? What is it? Oh, boy, oh, boy.

This window seat comes with a reset light.

Oh, really?

That's cool.

I need to know where you want to switch. Okay, okay. Well, let's figure it out.

Let's figure it out. See, I come into the room, and I want to read. So I walk

over to the window seat, and I want to turn on the light here.

Fine. Right there. Although, although, wait a minute. Now, honestly.

Out of the bathroom or crossing down from the bed, I'd want the switch here.

So you want the switch here? Yeah, this will be good. That'll be good.

Although, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold it, hold it. Let's say I'm

breathing, right? I'm here, I'm breathing, right? And then I get up and

over to the bed. I get into the bed and then I look back over there and, oh, no,

I forgot to turn off the light.

Well, you know, I'm all cozy and warm and tucked in, right? Wouldn't it be

if I could just reach up?

and turn off the light without getting up.

I'll tell you what.

I'll give you a switch by the bed. Good.

I'll give you a switch by the seat.

And I'll give you a switch by the door, in case you forget to shut off the light

on your way out, which is where you're headed now.

Okay, I'm going, I'm going.

Oh, by the way, Joe, I just noticed, those wires, should they be hanging

like this? Yes, get out!

Switch right here by the door, huh?

Cool.

All right. I want you to keep the box flushed. Oh, wait a minute.

So this is how big the fireplace is going to be?

Yeah. So what you're saying is this is the actual size?

What do you have in mind?

Well, I don't know. Do you remember the Ponderosa?

Huh? Oh, sure. You remember, you know? Old Ben. Old Ben would...

Put his foot up on the fireplace and give Haas all that great fatherly

you know.

They had a tremendous Haas. They also had 140 ,000 acre ranch. You don't.

This is a sanitized fireplace. Trust me, you're going to like it. Oh, yeah,

maybe, maybe. I mean, if, you know, if it was where I could see it.

What?

Well, it's going to be down there on the floor, right?

You want it on the ceiling.

I don't want to lose ceiling, but what's the romance of having a fireplace in

your bedroom if you can't see it from the bed?

You know, you'd be like trying to see over the bed there.

So you want me to raise the opening? Yeah, yeah.

Give me a favor. Give me something I can put my foot on, huh?

Like Ben Cartwright. Exactly, exactly.

No, I'm glad I caught this. Good work, man.

All right, after your mud and brick, we're at 15 and three quarter inches.

Actually, it's 15 and 7 eighths.

What the hell is that?

Pretty neat, huh?

An electronic measuring device, huh?

Technology. Watch this, watch this.

Distance from me to the wall.

Huh? 10 feet, 7 and 3 quarter inches.

Distance from floor to ceiling.

9 feet, 9 inches.

41 and 3 quarter inches.

What's that?

I'm glad you're in such a good mood.

Here's your bill, Chuckles.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, $200 for light switches?

I'm charging you what it cost me. This is exactly why I didn't want to do this

job. Sure, of course. It would be a lot easier to gouge a stranger.

Hey, hey, we would have been finished by now and for half the price if you had

left me alone. If I would have left you alone, we would have been done. I would

have been done all wrong.

You think you could do it better? I know I could do it better and faster and

cheaper. Are you firing me? Are you changing your bill? No.

Six foot three and three quarter inches.

What's that?

The distance from you to the door, your thigh.

Thank you.

I've never seen Joe so happy. Things must be going great.

Going great, great, yeah.

Can I have my room back soon?

Yeah, as soon as I build it.

What's that?

Never mind.

So I need that brick delivered pronto.

That's right. I fired Joe, and I'm doing the job myself.

It's not funny.

Look, look, you're not dealing with an amateur here. So first thing in the

morning, I expect you to deliver 200 used bricks and four dozen of those long

metal thingamajiggers.

You just got to speak their language.

I can't believe you fired Joe. Why couldn't you just leave him alone?

Angela, I was looking out for us, Angela. If I didn't watch every move he

the job would have been done wrong, and then you'd have to look at it day in and

day out and say, oh, why didn't I listen to Tony?

In a pig's eye.

Listen, have some faith in me. Trust my judgment. I have faith in you most of

the time, but Tony, you can't do all this work yourself.

Way ahead of you, Angela.

Way ahead of you.

Just so happens I already hired a crew.

How'd you find a new crew so fast?

Hey, watch it! You watch it! I wanted to use the bus stop! I saw it first!

I gotta split the... Great.

Now the house is being remodeled by Moe, Larry, and Greasy.

Let me call Joe, I'll cry. He'll come back. Angela, relax.

My crew is qualified. For instance, take Hank here, huh? He worked for Joe, his

father, the contractor, for years, right, Hank? Yep.

And why did you quit?

I was accident -prone.

You mean you hurt yourself?

No, others.

Give me that. Give me that. Give me that. You, give me that.

You do the sanding, all right?

Tony. Angela, please. Hey, Al right here, electrician's assistant.

That's right.

Dear Mr.

Capasso, you know, he was a great teacher.

I'll never forget his last words.

Al! No!

Give me that. Give me that.

You're going to help with the sanding.

What's my job?

You ever kill anybody?

No, but I'm willing to learn.

That's the spirit, huh?

Look, I'm going to do this job on time, under budget, and have some fun, too,

all right? Come on, let's punch in. Follow me, men.

Good luck.

You can do it. I know it's going to be great.

Where are you going?

To move my car so the ambulance can get in.

Good work, boys.

Nice clean edges.

Jonathan, careful with that staple gun.

What? Never mind.

Wow.

This looks great.

Hey, guys.

What? We're construction workers.

Yeah, well, I'm the foreman's daughter, so you better watch it.

Back to work.

This is very nice work.

Surprised? Frankly, yes, I'm shocked, but I'm happy.

You really got a lot done.

I got a good crew, Angela.

Can I have my husband back?

I got one section of drywall to put up, then he's all yours. Till then, be gone.

Tony, I guess I was wrong.

I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

You really do know what you're doing.

I'm not going to gloat, Angela.

Because I take my satisfaction from putting in a hard day's work, building

something that's going to last, and having something to hold over you for

rest of your life.

You all deserve a lot of credit.

You guys really have done a great job. Where's Jonathan?

Jonathan?

I can't make an omelet without breaking a couple eggs.

Release him, man.

Careful with that hammer, Hank.

Never mind.

I cannot believe it. I'm in the middle of taking off my makeup in the bathroom

and all the lights go out.

Shattered the bulbs, huh?

No.

Tony and his crew short -circuited something.

They're up in the attic right now trying to track it down. I don't know how much

more of this I should take.

Jonathan, shake that flex cable again.

Okay.

What's over here, Tom? All right, all right, stand back, stand back. Watch

Watch out here.

Oh, here's the problem. Whoa, here's the problem.

All we got to do is rewire this thing, right? We'll be back on schedule, and

then we can knock off.

Great. It's been a long day. I'm starved. And this tool belt's giving me

Yours too, huh?

Why don't you just call Joe and ask him to finish the job? I can't do that.

This remodeling project was Tony's idea.

To take it away from him now would be an insult to his pride, ability, and

manhood.

Radio pout and cry, huh?

Like a baby.

Come on, you. Hey, hey, hey, check this out.

This is like the last thing I handed to Mr. Capasso. Ow!

No!

I'd

kill

for a dart right now.

I've fallen and I can't get up.

Tony!

I'm sorry about last night, Angela.

That's okay. I always wanted a skylight in that room.

Sit down. We have to talk.

It's not easy to make a skylight.

kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.

Now, don't take this the wrong way, but you're fired.

How many ways can I take that, Angela?

You're not fired as my housekeeper or my best friend, but if you touch another

tool in this house again, I'll have you arrested.

Angela, I think I could do the job. I really do. Tony, Tony, don't.

Don't how?

Ruth is, I can't afford the money you're saving me on a contractor.

Fired.

Fired by my own fiancé.

Come here, let me give you a severance hug.

No, no way.

You can't fire me and then grope me.

Anyway, we're going to get to finish this job.

I think I can patch the ceiling.

Oh, Joe's back.

You're bringing Joe back.

Hey, Tony.

Nice work.

Listen, I got to knock down a building over on 3rd Street. Can I borrow your

butt?

I will not have this man working on our house. He's a professional. It's what he

does. Don't I have a say in this, Angela?

You nailed my son in a wall.

All right, fine. If you're going to nitpick, let him finish the job.

But I'm going to be hawking you, Joe.

I'm going to be hawking you like a hawk.

But this is what it's going to cost to finish the job.

Now, wait a minute. Wait a minute. There's two figures here.

Right. The bigger one's what I charge if you stay here. The smaller one is if

you leave the country.

That's quite a savings.

Don't forget to write.

A trip would be wonderful.

You'll relax.

You'll get some stuff. I don't know if I can. I don't know if I can relax when I

don't know what this guy's doing to our house. Well, you can't relax even when

you know... what this guy is doing to our house. Tony, you drive yourself and

everybody around you crazy.

You've got to learn to trust the people you hire.

I'm not sure I can.

Hey, you trusted my son with your daughter. Trust me with your house.

Okay, fine.

You want me to leave?

Then I'm leaving.

That ain't gonna be easy for me because let me just tell you something about me.

I don't like to leave any job unfinished.

And this house here, Joe, remember this.

This is my pride and joy. It's like my baby.

It's very hard for me to just turn my back and walk away.

Evacuate the house.

Ask questions later.

It's all yours, Joe.

I don't know, Tony.

All the time, money, effort we're putting into this job.

Sometimes I wonder, is it worth it? Come on, Angela. Sure it's worth it.

Picture what it's going to be like when it's all done, huh?

With the lights low.

Uh -huh.

And some romantic music playing.

And we're warming our feet in front of a crackling fire.

Uh -huh.

And then, picture this.

It's worth it.