Original subtitles

Last time on Who's the Boss.

So, how'd it go with your dad? Did you tell him?

Well, actually, I told him how terrific you were, and he wanted to come to his

wedding. That's nice.

Did you invite him to ours?

I'm real sorry about coming on so strong back there. Can I ask you one question?

Why a puppeteer?

Well, because I wasn't into medicine, but entertaining children is something I

love. You're getting married?

On the interstate, and it's about 40 miles to the chapel.

Are you sure we're doing the right thing?

If we want to be together, do we have any choice?

And now, the show.

They're gone.

Yes, so's Hank's car.

Oh, no. I just put a coffee kick in the oven.

Who the hell cares?

Excuse me. When I get nervous, I have an uncontrollable need to feed people.

Yeah, well, you must get nervous a lot.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Oh, Tom, here's your car keys.

What are you doing with them? Well, Sam has to move the car so they can get out.

You saw Sam and Hank? Yeah. Well, what'd they say?

Move the car, creep.

That's all they said? They didn't tell you where they were going? No. Well,

which way'd they go? Which way'd they go? Hey, who are you, Hopalong Cassidy?

I am just trying to get a clue as to where they might have gone.

Well, Sam was reading our brochure when they left. What kind of brochure?

There was a picture with a blue sky and a lot of green, like maybe a forest.

And I think a little stone building.

Oh, no, Tony.

That's a brochure of the chapel that I was showing.

A chapel?

This building. What did it look like? Gee, I don't know. Was there steeples,

stained glass, a cross, anything?

Well, I... Think, boy, think.

Do I know you?

It's gone. I put the brochure on the table, and now it's gone. Oh, great,

They went to get married. Joe, eat this.

All right, look, Angela, you saw this brochure. Where is this place?

Uh... Hey, woman, think.

Not so fun, is it, Mom? Okay, okay.

Uh -huh, let me see.

Remember, it said it was nestled near a sparkling brook in a magical forest. I

want highway numbers.

I want exits. I don't want Never Never Land.

Oh, Little Chapel of Love Highway.

off the Unionville exit. Great, let's go, let's go, let's go. Hold it, hold

Are you two eloping? No, Sam is.

Oh, oh, poor Tony.

First you get tied to a car, then you fall off a roof, and now your only

daughter runs off with a puppeteer.

God, you amuse me.

Okay, fine. Just remember, no fighting, no blaming, no name -calling. We have to

present a united front. I agree.

Me too. We're in this together. Right, I'll drive. Like hell.

I got a Mercedes.

Well, I got a Jeep. And Jeeps beat the Nazis, so I win.

Fish, lady.

Not a good time, Mrs. Rossini. Let's go. Move it, move it. What?

Where's everybody going? I got 50 pounds of muscle here. You call that muscle?

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my

friend. Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new

life, a brand new life around the bend.

All right, all right, here.

The way I figure it, we're 10, 15 minutes behind them. We keep up this

We'll intercept them at the Unionville exit.

Maybe we could slow down a little bit so we're alive when we intercept them. If

we slow down, we'll be there in time to kiss the bride.

Pedal to the metal. Pedal to the metal.

Oh, no.

You are not smoking that in here.

Don't worry. I'm not going to light up.

That's attractive.

I thought the window was down.

I may throw up.

Please, this time make sure the window's down.

She's not put in the back seat. You better pull over and let her switch with

Angela. We don't have time.

Oh, my stars.

All right, all right. Hang on here.

I'll move back there so you can come in the front. Come on. I'm trying to drive

here. I know, I know.

Now I know how the Japanese Prime Minister felt.

Better?

Hey,

we're getting low on gas here, Chief.

Don't worry, I know my vehicle.

When the needle's on the knee, I still got 26 miles highway, 18 miles city.

Chief?

Tony, I'm sure Joe was just trying to be helpful.

Hey, that's strange.

Oh, tell me about it. 18 years, he's never once mowed the lawn.

What I meant was strange. There's a car following us. Last 15 miles, every turn,

every lane change.

Is there a car?

Wait a minute.

What? Who are you calling?

Mother, are you following us?

Is Jonathan with you? Yes, Jonathan's here.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, Tony, I'm here, too.

You must be going crazy.

Can you hear me?

I can hear her.

What's that?

Can't be any cause for alarm. Tony knows it's vehicle.

I can't be running out of gas. I mean, I took everything into account.

Everything smarty pants.

Everything except the extra tonnage in the back seat.

Great. Now we're stuck here.

No, we're not.

Mother will see us. She'll stop and pick us up.

At least somebody from the family is going to be at the wedding.

This is a sacred union of man and woman.

For what we have brought together, let no man tear asunder.

If there's anyone here who objects to this union, let them speak now or

hold their peace.

I do.

Not yet.

No, I do object.

It's the puppet thing, isn't it?

No. Hank, no, it's not you. It's me.

This just doesn't feel right. I don't want to do this without my father here.

But if your father were here, he wouldn't let us do it. Look, I know it's

I know it's crazy, but I'm not going to feel right unless I at least try to call

him.

All right. Okay.

Okay. Do you have a phone around here? Right through the door to your left.

Excuse me, honey.

What's the puppet thing?

Thank you for coming back to get us, Mother.

Well, I wouldn't have if I'd known I was going to be trapped between a Greek and

a fat place.

I am not Greek.

Wait a minute.

Oh, my stars.

You nauseous again, Franny? Everybody roll down the window.

Does that smell like dead fish? It's crustacean.

Got 50 pounds of muscles in the trunk.

You brought them with us?

Well, if you're going to have a wedding, you need shellfish.

What if there already was a wedding? We would have been there to say I don't if

somebody hadn't run out of gas.

Hey, would you like to step outside? You want to fight? No, I just want you to

step outside.

Let me out.

Oh,

let him pop a vein. Come on up here.

What's wrong with you guys?

Look, whether you like it or not, you may already be related.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

There's no answer.

Well?

I guess we tried.

By the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut, I now pronounce you...

Hold everything!

I object!

I object! This is wrong!

It's a mistake!

It may be legal, but that doesn't make it right!

Oops.

with this man?

Just ignore him. There'll always be people like him. No, stop.

No, it wasn't. It's not like that. It's not like that. I thought that she was my

daughter, you know. Not that I would have a problem with my daughter marrying

you. You know, you marrying my daughter. You know, my... Carry on.

Nice couple.

Dad.

Sam.

Glad you could make it.

I just can't believe that you could run off to a loaf behind my back. I

couldn't. I tried to call you to invite you up, but there was no answer. We were

just trying to decide what to do. Well, I'll decide for you. You're not getting

married and we're going home. The only people who are going to make that

decision are Hank and me.

But, but, but, but.

Tony, we have to talk for a second. Come here.

While nobody's looking, take the jag. It's full of gas and shellfish. You

be in Canada by morning.

He'd only track me down there, Mona.

He didn't track you down. I told him nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

Stop. Stop and listen. This is what you're going to do.

You're going to go to Sam, and you're going to tell her you made a terrible

mistake. I said listen.

You're going to apologize?

And you're going to admit that you overreacted and that drove them away.

And if they are going to get married, you want them to do it in their own way

and in their own time.

Yeah?

And that'll give us time to break their will and knock some sense into them.

Oh, Angela, you're sneaky.

You're evil.

Thank goodness you're on my side.

Don't ever cross me.

But, but, but, but, but... I'm sorry, Dad.

I believe in what I'm doing.

Joe, Fran, I got something to say to the kids.

Go ahead. You got my permission to knock some sense into them.

All right.

Kids, I'm sorry.

Huh?

We overreacted, Joe. We overreacted, and that's what drove you to do this.

I mean, it's our immaturity that's robbing you of a wonderful wedding.

So if you want to come home and plan the wedding of your dreams, you have our

blessing.

Well, that does sound nice.

Great. And then you'd have a lot more time to talk us out of it.

Oh, no, no.

Dad, forget it. It's not going to work. I told you it was a dumb idea.

Honey,

I just, I didn't want you to rush into anything. You could make a terrible

mistake. Dave, you're so young.

I mean, not that you have to wait eight years like we did. That may not be the

best idea either. You know, sometimes I wonder why we waited so long. Maybe four

or five years would have been plenty. But, you know, we had to keep waiting. I

mean, I could have maybe had... Eye on the ball, Angela.

Eye on the ball.

Look, look.

I know that we rushed up here and it wasn't planned.

But now that we're here, it just, it feels right.

Doesn't it?

Let's tell the minister we're ready.

Sam. Hank.

I don't believe this.

They're going to get married.

Yeah, and there's nothing we can do about it. There's nothing we can do

it. There's got to be something we can do. I mean, something that shows them

that they're throwing away the rest of their lives.

Oh, but it's got to be something dramatic, Joe. Something very dramatic.

Heart attack. Oh, a heart attack.

Great idea, Joe. You're a genius. You're a genius.

Wait, wait, wait.

Don't overdo it. Now save some for the kids. Kids.

Look what you're doing here. You're killing your father.

Green and blue. Nice touch. Go, go, go.

I don't believe this. Joe! Oh, my stars! Wait a minute. He's really having a

heart attack? Oh, my stars!

Free! Get back! Free! Free!

Thanks very much, guys. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank God it was only stress.

I'm fine. I'm fine. Joe, I was just scared.

Me too.

You know, I think I realized something.

Life is short.

And if getting married makes you kids happy, then you got my blessing.

Thanks, Dad.

I know that this is driving you nuts.

Look, it's been the craziest day of my life, too, but one thing has worked out

right.

Everybody that I love is here.

And I want to go through with this.

Okay?

No.

No, it's not okay, Samantha.

Because if you go through with this, everyone you love will not be here.

I cannot stand by and watch you do something that I know is wrong.

So if you go through with this, you will be married without your father.

Maybe I didn't make myself clear.

Dad, don't do this, okay?

I want you to be at my wedding more than anything.

But if you leave now, I will go ahead without you.

Sam, I don't believe you would do that.

Dad, look.

I love Hank, okay? And I can't imagine not being with him.

It's hard to explain. I don't... It's like... It's like you being without

Angela.

Can't you understand that?

Take care of my little girl.

Oh, I will.

Good.

Olive, if you're ready, I'm ready.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to unite in holy matrimony

Methele and Henry the Muppet. The Muppet! The Muppet!

Sorry, sorry.

As I was saying, if there's anyone here who objects to this union, let them

speak now or forever hold their peace.

I knew it. I knew it was too good to be true. Let's go to Vegas.

No, no, Sam, Sam.

It's all right. It's all right. It's just that I always pictured you getting

married in a long, flowing white dress, not black Levi's. No, Tony, it's too

late to do anything about that now.

Actually, I have a lovely gown I wore the night horse and I were married.

And you'd lend it to me?

No, but I'd rent it to you.

Oh,

would you look at her?

Well, I would if you'd get out of the way.

She was beautiful.

Yeah, my angel.

As I was

saying, if there's anyone here who has any reason why these two should not be

wed, let them speak now or... What? What now?

It's just that I just realized you guys don't have a ring.

Dad, let me have that cigar.

It's beautiful.

This ring is a circle that has no beginning and no end. And it symbolizes

love you have for each other.

Do you, Henry, take Samantha to be your lawful wedded wife?

To love and to cherish in sickness and in health as long as you both shall

I do.

And do you, Samantha, take Henry to be your lawfully wedded husband, to love

to cherish in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live?

I do.

Then by the power vested in me by the state of Connecticut, I now pronounce

husband and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

You're not such a rock after all, huh?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm so happy for you.

I knew you'd get married before I did.

I'm so glad you were here, Dad.

Hey,

it's because I gave you away.

Don't mean you're not still mine

Can

you believe our little girl

Take a chance

and face the wind

Uh -huh.