Original subtitles

I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. No, no, it's fine, really.

It doesn't hurt at all.

I'll just have to buy all my clothes now at the big, tall, and L -shaped store.

Oh, you poor thing.

Could you use a coaster?

I'll get that.

I got it, I got it. Tony, why don't you let me get it for you? Tony? Tony!

Oh, Mrs. Zosini, thank goodness.

How'd you know it was me?

Support hose and pump sneakers.

Who else could it be?

What happened, you poor boy?

Well, they were up in Angela's room, the lights were dim, and they were clinging

to the bed for dear life.

We were flipping the mattress.

Oh.

Well, when I was young, I flipped a few myself.

Tony, we were trying to get the lumps out.

Right, and I dropped my end and Tony strained his back.

Oh. See, my version was much better.

Help has arrived.

Lie down and I'll walk on you.

Write that down. Those are the last words Tony will ever hear.

All right. All right.

Little tootsies, work your magic.

Oh, yes.

Yeah. Yes. Yes.

Hi, guys. Hi,

team. Hey, Dad. There's this great job opening at the campus travel agency, and

you know how the manager has the biggest crush on you. So I was wondering if

maybe you could pull a few strings.

Oh, yes.

Yes, yes.

Great, great. Then you could call her this morning. Oh, no, no, no. Sam, Sam,

Sam, please. I'm not pulling any strings to get you a job. Why not?

Oh, because. Come on. After what happened when I got Jonathan that job,

about it.

Why what? What happened with Jonathan?

Nothing. Nothing happened with Jonathan.

Nothing? He only blew the World Series for the Mets. I said I was

sorry.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Wait a minute.

Jonathan blew the world's cherry. How?

Oh, boring story.

Angela? Too painful to talk about.

Sam, don't ask me.

Talk to me, Tony.

Oh, come on. It's your taste. There's no way that I'm gonna... Oh, it was three

months ago. Almost to the very day.

She's home.

My love must be a...

Trying to save on electricity?

Oh, actually, I was trying to make some.

You know, it's been quite a while since we shared any time alone there, Andrew,

so what I was thinking we'd do is we'd have some hors d 'oeuvres, and then

we'd listen to some music.

I don't know if it's loud enough. A night game at Shea Stadium, eh? With a

picnic dinner under the stars.

Sounds pretty romantic, doesn't it?

Tony? Yes, yes, Angela.

Am I a good mother?

Oh, yes, yes. And I've been a very bad boy.

What's on your mind, Angela?

Jonathan, we had a fight.

Oh, no.

Yes. He called me at the office, and he asked me if I would give him a job at

the office, and I said no, and he said I was heartless in me. That's terrible.

I know.

A mother who won't hire her son. Shame on you.

I'm sorry. I just don't believe in nepotism.

You hired Mona.

Yeah, yeah, and look at her. She's lazy and spoiled and thinks she's got a job

for life, and just between you and me, sometimes I wish I'd never hired Mother.

Sometimes I wish I hadn't relied on the rhythm method.

Tony, am I a good daughter? Oh, please, Angela, cut it out. Look, look, where I

come from, family helps family. Tutti alla famiglia. Oh, yeah?

Well, we Anglo -Saxons have a little saying of our own.

Oh, you are such a colorful people.

It's his first job. It shouldn't be handed to him on a silver platter.

I can't get a job. I want to die.

Honey, what happened?

I can't get a job. I want to die. Now, Jonathan, you've only been looking for a

couple of days. I'm sure you'll find something.

No, I'll never get a job, which means I'll never get a car, which means I'll

never get a date.

I'll die alone and penniless up in my room.

Well, I might as well get started.

Hey, if I don't see you.

I can't run.

Honey, I've never seen him like this.

Maybe you should take him to the game.

Oh, come on, Anson. I wanted to take you. And besides, you heard him. He's

already got plans.

Tony. Okay, okay, I'll do it. Oh, you're so great. Jonathan, honey, he's really

going to enjoy this.

Did you change your mind about the job? No, no, buddy. She didn't. She didn't.

But hey, what do you say tonight? Me and you, we go to the Mets game together,

huh? What do you say, slugger?

Oh, sure. Maybe I'll get lucky and get hit in the head by a foul ball and

that I have no future.

Hey, it could happen. We got great seats.

What a great game. What a great game.

Hey, way to go, Mets. We're number one. Yeah, that's us.

Jonathan, Jonathan, this finger's acting like a mood ring here. Get rid of this

here. Hey, I got something to cure what ails you. How about a visit with the

doc? Dwight Gooden? Dr.

K himself.

Oh, that's great, Tony.

Oh, but we'll never get in. There's too many people here. Oh, please, follow me.

Will you follow me?

Coming through there. Excuse me, excuse me. T. Maselli, coming through. Gangway,

please. Gangway, please. Coming through. Jonathan, listen. Hey, I'm sorry, sir.

You can't come in here. Oh, that's okay, son.

I'm Tony Masselli. I'm a friend of Jerry Kaminsky's, your boss.

Come on, Jonathan, let's go. Hey, not so fast, musclehead.

You gotta have a badge to come in here.

See, you don't seem to understand, son.

I played pro ball.

Yeah, yeah. If we let in every old codger who used to warm the bench, we'd

quite a traffic jam.

So move on. Now, hold on a second. Hi.

I don't know anybody, and I don't really belong here, but can I get in? Oh,

sure.

Hey, she didn't have a badge.

Rules, rules, rules.

You're so uptight.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah. Well, let me tell you something. You are approaching your

20s, which is a very painful time in life.

Good cut, Tony. Come on, let's go. No, no, no. Hang on a second. Hang on a

second. Let me tell you something.

Tony! Hey, Jerry, what are you saying? Hey, Jerry, this is Jonathan. Jonathan,

this is Jerry Kaminsky. He manages the stadium. Hey, Jonathan, good to meet

Tony, what are you doing here? I'm trying to get into the clubhouse, but I

have a badge.

Oh, well, no friend of mine needs a badge. Oh.

I don't need a badge, huh? Well, thanks, chair.

Come on in.

Hey, hey, your shoe's untied. Made you look, made you look.

He's just doing his job. Yeah, yeah. Remember how serious we were when we

ushers, huh? Oh, yeah, yeah. It's hard not to let the power go to your head.

You were an usher?

One of the best, huh? And let me tell you something else. It was the best job

ever had.

I mean, I got paid to watch baseball games and rub elbows with living

Willie Mays, Ernie Banks, Brenda Lethiery.

That was one fan that no usher could strike out with.

Ba -da -boom.

I wonder what happened to her.

I married her.

Nice girl.

Great job. Sounds perfect.

I'd give anything to work here.

Well, Jonathan, the only opening I have is for a ball boy. And I got a list of

kids a mile long. Wait a minute, Jerry.

If everybody was by the list, we would have never had our jobs. Yeah, I know. I

understand. But Jonathan's a good kid. He's a hard worker.

He loves baseball. He loves the Mets.

Oh, by the way, Jerry, he's only got three months to live.

No, I don't.

He's honest, too. Unbelievable.

What do you say?

All right, John, I'll see what I can do. Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you very,

very much. Yeah, no problem. Look how polite he is. He's polite. He's a great

kid. Thanks, John.

Oh, thanks, Tony. Hey, welcome to the big leagues, my boy. I can't believe you

did this, pulling those strings for me, especially after what Mom said.

Oh, yeah, wait a minute.

Pulling strings?

Mom doesn't like that, does she?

You've got a lot of guts, Tony.

A lot of guts, but no brains.

Hi, how was the game?

Oh, great.

The Mets are great. New York is great. Life is great. Tony's great.

Good night. No, great night.

So cool.

Oh, what's he so happy about?

I rented him a seat cushion.

Glad he's feeling better. I knew if anybody could cheer him up, it would be

Yeah, right, right.

I want to say thank you. Oh, you don't have to thank me. Oh, yes, I do. No, no,

no, you don't. Oh, yes, Tony, after all you've done for Jonathan, it's the least

I can do. You don't know the half of it.

Tony, don't be modest.

You know, now that he's feeling better, I know he's going to get a job sooner or

later. Yeah, well, probably sooner than later.

In fact, he already has one.

Really? He does?

Where? He got hired tonight as a ball boy at Chase Stadium.

Tonight? Yeah.

But how?

Isn't that a tough job to get unless you know someone?

He does.

Who?

Me.

Tony! You went out and got him a job! How could you? Angela, please, before

get angry, I think there's something you ought to know. What? I only have three

months to live.

Morning.

Morning. Mad?

Yes. Come on, Angela. Come on. I didn't mean to go against you. It's just that I

saw an opportunity and it sort of just slipped out.

Without thinking? Yes, because that's what I do best.

You know how I feel about nepotism. Ah, ah. But technically, this isn't

nepotism. Jonathan and I aren't even related.

Oh, that is such a childish defense.

Forget about how he got the job. The important thing is he's happy. No, the

important thing is he's going to think that that's how you get jobs in this

world through who you know.

Then he'll be right.

I mean, that's how you get jobs in this world. Maybe in this world, but not in

this house. Oh, please, Andrew.

I'm glad you're here, Mona. Would you please tell your daughter she's being

unreasonable? I'm not talking to her.

Why? Tell her that I am sending out applications for someone who will

having me around.

Oh, you're looking for a new job, huh? No, a new daughter.

I said... I was sorry. How long are you going to keep this up? Oh, look.

The Judds are coming to town.

How that little girl loves her mother.

Hey, didn't the mother get the daughter the job?

Oh, that's right.

Hey, hey, hey.

What is going on here? We are family. We do not argue. Let me tell you what

happened. It's so silly. It's so silly. I got Jonathan a job as a ball boy at

Shea Stadium. You did what?

Could you? I always wanted that job when I was a kid, but you wouldn't let me.

Yeah, but you were so young, Sam.

Exactly.

You scarred my childhood.

I would show you my wounds, but you cannot see my soul.

Look what just came from the stadium.

Jonathan, Tony told me about this job. Oh, yeah, isn't it great?

Look, I got my own uniform, my own cap, my own... Wow.

Vulcanized rubber.

All of this could have been mine.

Well, most of it. Oh, please.

This is the best thing that's ever happened in my life. Thanks, Tony.

Mom.

Uh, honey?

Yeah, Mom?

Can I come to your first game?

Well, you promised you wouldn't go fast and embarrass me. Of course I won't.

She will.

Hey, you made the right decision there, Angela. I'm proud of you. Do you see how

adorable I would have looked?

It's the bottom of the ninth of a typical Dodger -Met pitching duel.

wind -up. He delivers.

He sits down on the field line.

What a shot, huh? What a shot, huh? Did you see that?

Angela, Angela, what's the matter?

I was just watching Jonathan.

Do you think the camera was on him when he was picking his nose?

No, I don't think so. Besides, the shortstop was doing a lot worse.

Trust me, nobody is watching Jonathan. He hasn't done anything for the whole

game.

Bravo, bravo, my son.

It could have been me out there picking up garbage.

No littering.

Hey, you know, they call him the mad dog, and I think you can see why, huh?

Hey,

hey, this job's really helping his confidence. Yeah, he seems to be doing

I guess maybe I was a little rigid.

I've been saying that for years.

That's rigid!

Excuse me, can you give this note to Daryl Strawberry?

Sorry, that's the end of the rule.

Are you sure?

We were hoping you'd be as nice as you are cute.

I am.

Hey, check it out. He's even doing good with the girls.

Go, Jonathan!

That's my grandson.

It's trail two to one. Jeffrey's on first. Owen, two to Hojo. He swings.

Grab ball down the right field. Yeah,

I hear now.

A ball!

Jeffrey was on his way home with a tying run.

I'll get that. Oh, no, some kid is going for the ball.

He picks it up. All of a stupidity.

Is it that bad?

He just caused the Mets to run. Jonathan!

Jonathan, that ball was in play. It was? Oh, no. Give it back. Give it back.

You've got to do something quick.

Jonathan,

let's get out of here.

Hey,

Samantha. Samantha, you cut that out.

Honey, are you okay?

Yeah, I just feel bad that I let you down.

Well, you and New York.

Speaking for me and the five boroughs, especially Brooklyn, hey, don't sweat

Tell that to Mr.

Kaminsky.

It's not going to be that bad.

You just walk in there, you admit your mistake, and you handle yourself like an

adult. And don't you worry, Mom, you'll be in there holding your hand.

Please, you know, look, I'll go in there with you. Jerry owes me a few favors.

I'll get him to go easy on you. Maybe we should both go in. Well, yeah, maybe

that's right. Strength in numbers.

I think this is something I've got to do on my own. I have a Jonathan. No, I

mean it.

You got me hired. I can get myself fired.

Bauer, get in here!

Okay.

I'll be fine.

Hey, well, how do you like that kid, huh?

Going in there by himself, ready to take his medicine.

I have never seen this side of him before.

Maybe something good did come out of him.

Stop, guys! Bauer, of all the boneheads, Lane Gray... moves. I can't believe it.

You picked up the ball.

You ruined the game.

What the heck were you thinking?

Oh, you know, I know he doesn't want me in there, but nobody calls Jonathan a

bonehead. I'll fix this guy.

That's silly!

You know, boneheads, they used to call me that. But that was just... One game?

How'd he blow the whole series?

Well, he didn't blow the whole series, but that was the beginning of a Mets

tailspin, you know. In the press, they had a field day. They kept pointing to

that game as the beginning of the bad luck streak.

And then they went from first to fifth, and they blew any chance of postseason

play.

All that was caused by you.

Yeah, not to mention the recession and the San Francisco earthquake.

Well, I think he's almost over it.

Oh, poor kid. He had to run around in a disguise for two weeks. Fright wig and a

big nose.

And you know how painful that can be.

You want pain?

I know every pressure point in the human body.

Ow, ow, ow! Yes, I can vouch for... Hey, I'm walking.

It's a miracle.

That's why you don't want to help Dan get that job? Yes, I'm afraid that if I

help her, it's going to cause another disaster.

Look, it's a travel agency. What could go wrong?

Ever hear of the Hindenburg there?

Somebody's daughter sold those people on tickets.

Tony, Tony, you and I both know that Jonathan is okay.

Yes, it's true, that's true. Well, then what are you sitting around for? Get off

your duff and help your daughter get that job.

All right, all right. Hey, it's the least I can do. And anyway, it'll be a

of cake.

This girl at the campus travels got some crush on me.

Hello, campus travel?

Oh, hi. Oh, hi, Jennifer.

It's Tony.

Yeah, I died and went to heaven, too.

Yeah, look, the reason I'm calling is, you know, my daughter, my daughter

applied for a job down there.

She did?

Oh, she got it.

It's great. Thursday night?

Oh, no, I'm sorry.

Jennifer, I'm sort of, you know, involved with somebody.

Well, it matters to me.

No, Jennifer, you can't fire her because of that, Jennifer.

Jennifer, don't you... She hung up.

What a... Oh, gosh. Oh, no.

See? See? I tried to do something good. It turns out wrong.

You know, I've been thinking...

And, Dad, I shouldn't rely on you to get me that job. I can do it on my own.

That's what you think.

What? Well, what she means is, honey, I don't know how to tell you this, but if

you think you can get that job, you go out there and do it.

I'm going to go down there and be a traveler.

That's good, good, good, because I'm leaving town and I'm going to need a

ticket.

See you later.

So, girls, even though it's a campus travel agency, I can still make all of

reservations. Oh, well, that's great. You've got our business. How did you get

Jennifer to hire you, after all?

Well, I sort of implied that she might still have a shot with Dad.

You did?

Good. She's going to be all over Tony.

Well, she is persistent, but Dad's found a way to avoid it.

He has? Yes.

Bye guys.