Original subtitles

Dr. Davis, telephone, please. Dr. Davis, telephone, please.

I'm sorry, sorry. Oh, Angela. Oh, I'm so sorry. I hope she forgives me.

Dad, you heard what the doctor said. It's not that serious. Everything's

to be okay.

But doctors are trained to lie, Samantha. What do you think they mean by

bedside manner?

Well, I thought... Don't you dare, Angela.

I was going to agree with Sam. I know things look bad now, but trust me,

Angela's going to be just fine.

Yeah? Yeah.

All right. Yeah, yeah, you're right. You're right.

What happened?

Is everybody okay? Oh, yeah, yeah, we're fine. We're fine.

Are you sure? Yeah, we're fine. Oh, thank God.

Ow! What's that for?

For leaving me this, though.

Yeah, Mom, we're at Mercy General.

There's been a shooting.

P .S. Don't touch the VCR. I'm taping MacGyver.

What are you doing?

Nothing for me. I'm in a hospital.

Then who was shot?

Smart money's on the guy behind curtain number one.

Mr. Hamilton?

I can't believe this. How did this happen? What kind of horrible monster

do this terrible thing to you?

You shot my biggest client?

Sorry.

and face the wind open road and a road that's hidden a brand new life around

bend there were times I lost a dream or two

found a trail and at the end was you

there's a path you take and a path not taken

the choice is up to you my friend

Don't worry, Mr. Hamilton.

I'm sure you're going to be just fine.

He is going to be fine, isn't he? Yes, it's just a flesh wound in the foot.

He's a little drowsy from the anesthetic, but he'll recover 100%.

were the one who brought him in? Yes, that's right. And what is your

relationship to the victim? He's the assailant.

I am not the assailant. I'm an innocent bystander. Oh, innocent bystander. Good,

good. Stick with that story.

Don't you have something to videotape?

I was kidding, so shoot me.

You know, Dan, I just called Gus from the old neighborhood.

He said if anything like this ever happened, he could make it go away.

Sam, go away.

I can't believe you did this.

It wasn't my fault. It was an accident. And if anybody's to blame, it's Mona.

Me? Yes, you.

Yes, if you'd have listened to me, none of this would have happened in the first

place. This would never have happened if you had just butted out. Well, you

started this. Now, if it's my fault that you're trigger happy?

I did not shoot this man.

See? See? Now stop it, both of you.

Now, Tony, just tell me exactly what happened. Oh, yes, right. As Tony, you

always pick him first.

I don't care who tells me the story. I just want an explanation.

I'll tell it. All right, well, then just stick to the facts. I intend to.

I guess this all started when you were saying goodbye to Dirty Harry. Oh, Mona!

Yeah. My cab. I really have to go. Oh, I'm going to miss you. Me too.

I know. I know. That's why I packed you this.

Oh, Barf.

You're only going to be gone two days.

Two whole days.

Or about as long as it's taking you to say goodbye. Will you get going? Right.

Oh, right. Mother, I need my tickets.

Tickets. Right.

Where did I put them?

Oh, Mother, you didn't lose them, did you? Of course not.

Just can't remember where I put them.

Well, retrace your steps, why don't you?

Okay.

I was born in Texas.

I was a beautiful baby.

Mother, Mother.

Oh, relax.

They're around here someplace.

I found them. Of course you did. You saved the day, my hero.

Wait a minute. I was the one that stood in line three hours for the stupid

tickets, and he's the hero?

He kisses better.

Oh, I wish you were coming with me. Hey, I wish I could go. I could be ready in

ten minutes. Mother, you get to stay here and run the office.

Well, clean living finally paid off.

Mother, don't forget to send me the slim coat papers. Oh, and most important,

send the new ad copy to Reed Hamilton's hotel.

Reed Hamilton?

Ooh, I've always wanted to meet him. Mother, you stay away from him.

I'll call you tonight at 8. Okay. I feel better just having you in charge here,

my big, strong man.

Do you really have to go?

I mean, hasta la vista, baby.

Mona?

Mona?

Oh, excuse me. Have you seen Mona around?

Yeah, she's around here somewhere.

Probably faxing her butt to Cleveland.

Lisa, fax this right away.

What? Oh, come on, Mona. Angela just left and you're faxing your marketing

reports? What are you doing here? You forgot the Slimco file at home.

Thank you, Tony.

That is an old file. I have already faxed Angela the upgraded version.

I knew that.

Yeah, right.

You are here to check up on me.

Why would I do that? Because you think I am lazy, incompetent, and

unprofessional. But not in a bad way.

That is it. Now you take a walk, you bozo. Ah,

those lilting tones.

That voice I've heard over the phone a thousand times. Now the face.

More beautiful than I ever imagined.

We meet at last.

And by the way, ditto.

So, you're Mr. Hamilton of Hamilton Decharging. The soap guy, huh?

Stay away.

Right.

Ordinarily, I wait for the ad copy to come to me, but something just drew me

here. Now that I've seen you, I know exactly what that something is.

You ain't seen nothing yet.

Mr. Hamilton, have I told you how soft my hands are from your products? Here,

feel this, feel that.

Excuse me, Reed. I have to discipline the Xerox boy. Who's next?

Oh, ow, ow, wait.

A Catholic school flashback.

He's wrong. with you? What's wrong with me? I'm not the one who could mess up

Angela's biggest account by messing with Angela's biggest account.

I'm just flirting. It's all a part of the game.

I know, I know. You're the league's leading scorer.

Look, this is my daughter's agency and I would never do anything to jeopardize

it. Excuse them, Ma Reed.

I have a 40 -year -old Xerox boy who thinks he runs the place. Now, where

we? Never mind where we were. What matters is where we're going to be

Oh, I'd love to, but I'm afraid I'm going to be working around the clock on

Hamilton account.

I'm giving you a chance to work on Hamilton himself.

So tempting, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to turn you down.

Company policy.

Way to just say no, Mona.

Nobody turns Reed Hamilton down.

Well, I guess you're not going to be able to say that anymore, are you, Reed?

I'll get your copy in just a minute.

Bauer Agency.

Oh, hi, Angela.

Oh, oh, it's Angela. Reed, it's Angela.

Oh, oh, let me talk, let me talk, let me talk. Reed, it's Buzz Head. This is a

business call.

Mother? Mother, is that Tony's voice? Let me talk.

In a minute. I have something important to tell you.

What went wrong, Mother?

Nothing, nothing. As a matter of fact, this morning...

I caught a huge typo in the Brubaker ad, and I'm going to save you a lot of

money. That's terrific, Mother. That's really terrific. Okay, now put Tony on.

knew you'd be thrilled, dear.

In great on line two. Good, good.

Hi, Angela.

Fine, and you?

Oh, just jeans and a T -shirt.

What do I have to say or do?

Good enough. Let's go.

What happened to company policy?

Well, I'm not going anyplace in this company anyway.

Hey, are you kidding? I got everything under control. In fact, Mona and I were

just schmoozing with Reed Hamilton.

Yeah, he's here. I'll put him on. Hang on a second.

Reed Hamilton here.

You should have seen old Ted Turner's face when my yacht nosed him out at the

finish line. And pow!

Pow?

That was almost as exciting as when I won the Baja 1000.

Now, that... I'm not boring you, am I?

Oh, no, no. I'm just yawning because it's 7 .30.

Where does the time go?

I'm sorry. We spent the whole evening talking about me.

I want to hear about you.

Really? Sure.

You seem to have something on your mind. Come on. I'm a great listener.

Well, my daughter is in this new relationship, and I'm beginning to

Don't talk to me about daughters, man. I could write a book.

And my son, what a jerk.

Well, apple trees make apples, huh, Reed?

We're home.

Well, good night. Good night.

I thought maybe you'd pick up a few things, join me at my place in Long

Oh, you don't need me, Reed.

You're all ready with the love of your life.

You.

Not a smart way to talk to your biggest client.

I'm sorry.

How's this?

You're a boring, bombastic blowhard.

Sir.

Oh, Homer Lee. Way to go, Mona.

Nobody, I mean nobody, talks to me like that. Oh, yeah?

Anybody ever do this to your antenna?

Hey. Hey, hey, hey.

God, she's vandalizing his car.

God, what a horse's patootie.

Are you crazy talking to him like that? That's Angela's biggest client.

Ha! Not anymore.

Couldn't you just have faxed your butt to Cleveland?

Let me get this straight.

Mother had a fight with my biggest client. He threatened to pull the

So you shot him?

No, I did not shoot him.

Guys, I think the victim would like to make a statement.

Get off the bed. Get off the bed.

Mr. Hamilton, are you trying to tell me what happened?

Smiling duck.

Smiling duck?

Do you think he's all right? Oh, sure. He's fine. He's fit as a fiddle.

So, uh, what happened next?

What were you thinking, Mona? Don't you know that mixing business with a

personal relationship is like the dumbest thing you could do?

Isn't that what you and Angela are doing? No, it's completely different.

I'll ask the questions around here.

Yeah, what?

Oh, hi, Angela.

So, how are things over there?

Well, they're better than I thought. How's everything there?

Well... Great, great, never better.

What's wrong, Tony? Nothing, Angela, nothing.

Everything's fine. We'll see you tomorrow.

Bye -bye. Miss you.

Tony, thanks for not telling Angela what happened.

I didn't do it for you. I did it for her.

I mean, I don't want to ruin her good mood. Now, you get on that phone, and

get in touch with Mr. Hamilton. You get that account back before she comes home.

Oh, not necessary.

I know his type.

Believe me, by tomorrow morning, he'll be telling this boring story about how

dumped me, and then it's going to be business as usual. Mona, I'm warning

You better do something. Believe me, the worst thing in the world you can do is

chase after a guy like this when he's mad.

Mr. Hamilton!

Mr. Hamilton.

Mr.

Hamilton.

Mr. Hamilton.

Don't shoot. I'm out of season.

Get inside. You're scaring off the game.

Oh.

Oh, it's nice.

It's just dark.

Oh, gee, I love what you've done with the place.

Aren't you the Xerox boy?

Oh, actually, Mr. Hamilton, I'm Angela's boyfriend.

Way to climb the ladder, kid.

All right, right.

Jeez, it's cold in here than I thought it would be.

Come here.

Here, wear this.

Thanks, thanks a lot.

Hunting rabbits!

What are you doing here?

Well, uh, the reason, I mean the reason, the reason I'm here is to square things

between you and the Bauer agency.

I mean, I don't know what got into Mona.

But just because you're mad at her, don't throw the baby out with the

I mean, you need the Bauer agency and you need Angela. And to leave her now

would be like a big mistake.

I'm not leaving.

You're not?

No.

Well, see you out, weed.

I'd be crazy to leave her. Before Angela came along, I couldn't give away my

crummy soap.

Oh, so you're not mad at Mona for yelling at you?

Of course not.

She was only yelling because I dumped her.

Before she could get her hooks into me.

Funny, but, you know, Mona said she doesn't think she's ever going to forget

you.

Well, I guess my work is done here.

Stay, stay.

Relax.

We'll drink some coffee.

We'll eat some donuts.

We'll kill some ducks.

To tell you the truth, Mr. Hamilton, I'm not really much of a hunter.

That's okay.

Prince, my retriever, he's at the vet.

I'll need somebody to fetch.

I'm really not that good a swimmer either, especially like with dead

my mouth.

Here, you spot him, I'll shoot him.

Do we really have to shoot him?

No, but it'll make your job a lot easier.

This is living.

Why can't a woman be more like a duck?

You know, with a duck, you just shoot them and they're dead. Quack, bang,

With a woman, it's quack, quack, quack the rest of your life.

You should show this sensitive side of yourself more often, Mr. Allen.

Be quiet.

There are ducks out there.

Oh, oh, I see them. Oh, oh, look, it's a daddy duck and a mommy duck.

Oh, and a cute little baby duck.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Don't shoot me. Hold on a second.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Look, look, the daddy duck is smiling. Cute

daddy duck smile. He's so proud of his little family.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, Mr. Hamilton. Oh,

wow.

That's probably going to be black or blue in the morning.

So, you see, it wasn't my fault.

See, it really was an accident, Mr. Hamilton. Yes, and we hope that we can

continue to count on your business. What do you say?

Prince!

Good boy.

I think that means the account is safe, right? What a good boy.

Mother, why were you blaming Tony when he was only trying to undo what you did?

Oh, please. This would never have happened in the first place if you had

listened to me. But no, nobody here listens to me. You two are so wrapped up

each other, you never hear a word that I say. I'm probably going to have to

repeat this.

You're right, Mother.

Okay. I said, oh, please. This would never have happened in the first place.

heard you.

Well, that's a first.

I guess we have been ignoring you.

Thank you.

Oh, I'm sorry, Mother.

Gosh, why didn't you say something?

You know, Angela, I think she actually did. You know, that's why she was being

so productive, so efficient, so responsible. It was like a twisted cry

You're right, Tony. And you know what, Mother? From now on, I promise you we're

going to do everything together all the time. That's like starting this weekend.

What do you say we go to the Cape? Oh, that's wonderful. Stay at that wonderful

little bed and breakfast. We'll watch the sailboats. We'll walk on the sand

dunes. What do you say, Mother?

I'd rather be the diaper on a sumo wrestler.

Is that a no?

I can't believe... Did you think that I am desperate enough to actually want to

go with you two?

What has all this been about?

I just wanted to be invited.

Oh, Angela.

I feel awful.

Really? You know, Tony, we have got to be more sensitive to the needs of

You know, Angela, we've been so wrapped up in our relationship that we've only

had eyes for each other.

to the needs of those around us.

Oh, Angela, you're so great.

You know, that was a wonderful brunch. Where are

Tony and Mr. Hamilton?

They went for a walk in the park.

Oh, that's nice.

Tony's trying so hard to make up for the accident.

Now, wasn't that fun?

I can't wait for Prince to get back to Nevada.