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There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.
An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.
There were times I lost a dream or two.
Found a trail and at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken.
The choice is up to you, my friend.
Nights are long, but you're not awake to a brand new life, a brand new life, a
brand new life both round the bend.
Hey, Mona.
What's new in the world?
Violence, violence, violence.
Beetle Bailey got punched out by the Sarge again.
But why does that man keep reenlisting, huh? Hey, how about some nice Sunday
brunch? We got eggs.
We got muffins. We got juices.
We got Mrs. Rossini an hour early.
I got it. It's gotten.
Mrs. Rossini.
Tony. Oh, you look so...
Alphonse. Don't be strange.
Tony,
Angela, this is Alphonse.
Al, it's nice to meet you, Alphonse.
Al. Oh, it's nice to meet you, Al.
Yeah.
I heard a lot of nice things about you.
Cool.
Does he ever string together more than one syllable?
Yes.
know each other? Oh, we're family.
Actually, Al is Mrs. Rossini's uncle.
Yeah, well, Mrs. Rossini's great uncle got married late and Al's mother got
married early and... Then came out. Hey.
Well, actually, Al came before the wedding.
Actually, I was at the wedding.
Anyway, yeah.
Al's out here going to college. Oh, that's great. That's great. We go on
Norwalk, Fairfield.
American Beauty College.
It's accredited.
Well, hey, it's a good school. I've seen the ads for that on the backs of buses.
So what made you decide to go to beauty school?
Beauty college.
Well, it was heated at the juvenile hall.
And the judge said... Alphonse, come here.
Be a doll and bring in that nice package of mackerel we brought for Tony. And
take your time.
They're real subtle.
She's just going to tell you about the car radios they found on me.
Car radios?
He's a teenager. He likes music.
Tony, he's a good kid. He fell in with a bad crowd.
He really needs someone to show him the right way. That's why I brought him up
here. If you could just spend a little time with him, you know, maybe help him
find an after -school job.
I want to see him, Miss Rosini. Tony, he reminds me a lot of you.
Remember when you were sent to Juvenile Hall for taking that garbage truck on a
joyride?
Yeah,
we took it down to Fort Lauderdale for spring break.
We didn't do so good that year.
Now look, you went through a phase.
Al's going through a phase. You turned out to be a fine young man.
So will Al, with your help.
All right, Mrs. Rossini, I guess I could spend some time with him. Oh, thank
you, Tony.
I tell you, not many people living in a fancy schmancy neighborhood would help
out a kid like that.
Hey, you know what would be a good idea?
I might give him some odd jobs around the house, huh?
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I mean, if it's okay with you, Angela.
Tony, can I speak to you for a minute, please?
Oh, sure, sure.
Talk among yourself, Mrs. Rossini.
Yeah.
Tony, as owner of this fancy schmancy house... Schmancy.
That's what I said.
No, dear, you said schmancy.
Okay.
As owner of this fancy schmancy house, I think... You did it again.
Schmancy, schmancy. Okay, okay.
Anyway, we have a very expensive stereo system.
We have an expensive stereo system. We have my grandmother's sterling. Oh, oh,
oh, hey, Angela.
What are you saying?
Look, Tony, I...
I'm as liberal as the next guy, but couldn't Al hang out at the next guy's
house? Oh, Angela, I am shocked.
I'm shocked. I mean, let's look past the dirty fingernails and the greasy hair
and the motorcycle jacket, huh? I mean, let's look to the boy, to the boy
inside, a frightened kid who hasn't had a chance. I mean, if we don't have that
kind of generosity in our hearts, then what do we have?
Maybe you're right. I guess maybe I'm being just a little cynical.
It's time to trust and...
Lend a helping hand.
Mother, keep this at your house.
Looking good, Al. I know.
Except, you know, you should be using little circles. That leaves less
Pardon me.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Mrs. Johnson. Happy jogging.
Johnson, bring your mother over any time.
What's the matter with you? That's one of our neighbors.
People around here, they don't respond well to yo mama.
How about yo baby?
How about yo nothing?
Hey, chill out, man. I was just trying to be friendly.
Hey, nice bike.
Yeah.
A friend of mine in school used to have one just like it until they confiscated
it for illegal parking.
Yeah? Where was your pa?
In the girls' locker room, and we were still on it.
In fact, it's funny you say that because that's exactly what the principal, Mr.
Archer, said.
Principal Archer?
What, you went to PS86?
Yeah, class of 68, you. Class of 87.
Right. And 88.
Hey, Al, let me show you what I meant by little circles, huh?
Here, look.
Take a little bit of this.
And little circles.
Here we go. Oh, yeah.
Less streaks, eh?
So tell me, how was your first week at beauty college?
It was cool, you know. I met the teachers.
I was issued a hair dryer, you know.
Figured out how to work those chairs.
Sounds like a full week, huh?
You know, this beauty stuff may not be so bad, you know. You get to meet a lot
of chicks.
You get to play with their heads.
I mean, meeting chicks is cool. But there's some work involved in it, too. I
mean, if you want to make something of yourself. If it gets too hard, I'll bail
and go to famous broadcaster school.
I got good diction.
Now, do you mind if I give you a little lecture?
Yeah. Listen, you're growing up now.
And pretty soon you're going to have to decide what you want to be in life. And
then you're going to have to go after it like you mean it.
Well, that's it.
End of lecture.
You heard it before?
Yeah.
But you did it better than most.
Oh, great.
Then we understand each other, huh? Yeah.
Okay. Hey, by the way, Mrs. Rossini's coming over for dinner. You want to join
us? Hey, I'd like to, but I got a test tomorrow on follicles.
Then you better brush up, huh?
Ow, ow, ow. Little circles. Come on. It
was like the worst dance I ever went to.
Jason takes me.
To his dad's country club, and it turns out that it's team hoedown night. Oh,
no. Oh, yes, it was the worst. There were cardboard cows and little
and kids dressed up in plaids saying, Howdy, partner, and yahoo!
Gross. Sam?
Who's the guy waxing Angela's car? That's the guy my dad's trying to help
think his name is Al. We're supposed to be nice to him.
Hello, Al.
Say, how should I know?
Okay, okay, okay.
You know, you really should be using little circles.
What's the deal with little circles?
Whoa.
Hi.
Hi.
Uh, little circles keeps it from streaking.
You must be related to Tony, right?
Yeah, I'm his daughter, Sam.
I'm out.
I'm Bonnie. My dad told me you'd be helping out.
Yeah.
Oh, this is my friend Bonnie. She has to go home now and take care of that
cough.
No,
you don't. Remember, bed rest and plenty of liquid.
And call me in the morning.
Sweet kid.
So, hi.
Hi.
Nice hair.
Thanks. You blow dry?
Yeah.
Keep it on low and use a diffuser.
Hey, it's my racket.
Thanks, I'll remember that.
I won't go.
Mother. No, you can't. Me.
Look. I think you should take this class. It won't kill you. It's only six
weeks. You'll learn typing, shorthand, and a lot of other secretarial skills.
Oh, no, you're not tricking me. You learn that stuff, and before you know
people are expecting you to do it.
He ain't heavy.
He's my brother.
If I'm lady.
Hi, ladies.
Well, you're in a good mood.
Why not, huh? I mean, it feels good to help a fellow human being and a future
beautician. Well, I have to say that I think he is fine. I think Al is doing a
wonderful job. He did a terrific job on my car, and my radio is still in it.
Nice to know that some people around here have ambition.
My, oh, my, I am so deeply ashamed of myself.
You know, I think that kid's okay.
I think he just needs to push in the right direction, and I'm just the guy to
give him a show.
Hey, have you seen Al Carly? Hey, hey, nice bike, huh?
Yeah, even Sam looks good on it.
Sam!
Hey, hey, hey!
Oh, God, this is terrible.
Yeah, he promised me the first ride.
False alarm. It's just old Mrs. Graham starting up her chainsaw.
Whatever happened to Mr. Graham?
Who cares about Mr. Graham? My baby's out on a motorcycle.
Oh, I think your baby's about to be off the motorcycle.
And she'll never be on one again.
Hi.
Young lady, don't you ever.
Ever, I repeat, ever get on a motorcycle again. It's too dangerous and you are
too young and that is it.
Okay, you're right.
Don't you even give... You bet I'm right.
I'm sorry, I should have known better.
Good, good.
Dad, now I can see why you wanted to help Al out. He's a really cool guy and
different from the guys around here.
We had so much fun together.
is coming to dinner.
Who? Al.
I talked him into joining us.
Why couldn't it have been Sidney Poitier?
Dad,
do you like my hair like this?
Oh, yeah. It looks nice. But it always looks nice.
He suggested that I use my blow dryer on low and use the diffuser. A diffuser?
A diffuser?
Aren't you a little young to be using a diffuser?
Right, Dad. I don't know what got into me.
What's a diffuser?
It's an attachment to a hair dryer. Why?
Do you think I need one?
Maybe, but...
But that's not the point.
You know, I've been thinking, I've been thinking, you know, we could be doing
more for Al here. I think I'm going to get him a job over at Ernie's Hardware
Store.
Tony, that's two towns away.
Three, but who's counting?
But this way, this way, he'll see more of Connecticut, you know. Why should he
be confined to the Fairfield area in our house, you know? And Sam?
Sam, Sam, Sam?
Come on, Angela.
Come on. Where do you get these things?
I thought so.
Aren't you the one who said we should give Al the benefit of the doubt?
Yeah, yeah. And aren't you the one who said we should look beyond the dirty
fingernails and the motorcycle jacket? Yeah, yeah, I said that, yeah. And what
about, he's not heavy, he's my brother. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I
sang, I sang.
If I lay down... All right, Angela.
I get the point. I'll try to keep an open mind.
Oh, Sam, every time I see you, you become more and more a woman.
Please, Mrs. Rossini, she's not a woman yet. Estelle Getty, now that's a woman.
Come here, come here.
Hi, Tony.
Hi, Sam.
Hello, hello, hello.
Hello, Angela. I pinch, but I'm holding cannoli.
Gee, what a shame.
I got you a little something.
Shampoo, mousse, conditioner, body oil.
I'll take that.
Dry elbows.
Open mind.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Keep this.
Mona! Don't even think about it, sister.
Moe. Al. Joe.
Moose. Cool.
Totally. Right.
Sit.
Oh, what a cute couple. I wish I had a camera.
You know, I had a really great time today.
Yeah, me too.
You diffused it, didn't you?
Well, kind of.
You know, have you ever thought of an upsweep?
Well, dinner's ready.
Let's eat.
I didn't hear the timer go off.
Ding! You happy?
You know, this accentuates your swan -like neck.
Hey, here's one to chew on.
If your daughter and my uncle...
Tie the knot.
That would make me Sam's niece.
And your brand niece.
Ding, ding, ding, ding.
Dad, you know, Al and I really aren't that hungry. And there's an 8 o 'clock
showing of Daddy's little girl at the Cineplex.
Oh, go enjoy.
You're only young once. Speak for yourself.
Dad, I'm way ahead of you on this. I'm driving.
Joe. Oh, I wish I had a camera.
Would you stop it with a camera, please?
I've got a Polaroid. You would.
Look, I don't want no pictures.
I don't want them dating, and I don't want to be your great uncle.
Tony, what are you worried about? They just went to a movie.
Don't worry. Angela, how can you say don't worry?
It's easy.
Al is not that bad.
What do you mean, not that bad?
Hang out of this.
Look, Mrs. Rossini, I don't want my daughter dating that hood with a
You forget where you came from, Tony Maselli. You used to be Al.
And now you're just turned into some suburban... Snob?
Bingo!
Snob. Snob.
Snob. Snob.
One who despises one's inferior...
and whose condescension arises from social or intellectual pretension.
Pretension.
Hey, you think I'm a snob? You're darn right you are.
Heather, snobbery's not based on one action. It's a certain attitude towards
some people. In your case, people from Brooklyn.
Oh, hey.
Hey, yo, I love Brooklyn.
I am Brooklyn.
I didn't leave Brooklyn to get away from Brooklyn.
I left Brooklyn so my daughter wouldn't have to grow up with the rough crowd
that I grew up with, so that she'd have some of the choices that I didn't have.
Also, sue me that I wanted to marry a doctor or a lawyer, or even a
if he's a solid kind of guy, which, by the way, Al may someday be, but right
he isn't. So if that makes me a snob, then I'm a snob.
Hey, I can live with that.
Well, if you can live with my daughter, you can live with anything.
Dude, for a couple of minutes there, I didn't like myself.
Hi.
Hey, back to stuff?
Where's Al? He's in the washroom.
Samantha, we need to have a serious talk about Al.
Oh, yeah?
What?
I don't want you going out with him anymore.
Is that an order?
From the Supreme Commander.
Is that so?
Yes, that's so.
Well, Commander, it's just lucky for you that I don't want to go out with Al
anymore.
You don't? No.
He was such a total embarrassment.
He was rude to the ushers. He threw popcorn at the people in front of us. He
talked back to the screen.
Oh, well, great.
Great that we don't have any problems.
But if I did like Al, you and I would have had some fight tonight.
Oh, yeah?
Oh, yeah? Well, I bet I would have won that one.
taken that bet. Oh, yeah? Well, you would have lost big.
I love her spirit.
When I was Sam's age, if I'd gone out with somebody who threw popcorn at the
screen, I'd have dumped him, too.
Oh, gee, then it's lucky we didn't know each other.
What? You threw popcorn at the screen? No, no, ushers.
Well, That's different.
Oh, yeah, Mrs. Rossini, that mackerel was delicious. Thank you very much.
I love you too, Mrs. Rossini.
Yeah, I think you look great as a blonde.
Okay, bye -bye. All right, bye.
Oh, do you believe the influence Al has over Mrs. Rossini?
Excuse me, Mr. Al.
I'm just glad I don't have to deal with that with Samantha.
Yo!
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