Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

And found a trail.

And at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life.

Brand new life. A brand new life both round and in.

What a day at the office. I am exhausted.

Mother, all you did was answer six phone calls.

I know. They kept waking me up.

Ooh, what have we here?

A letter from a fraternity, Pi Delta Gamma, no less.

If that's for me, tell them I already gave.

It's for Tony. I wonder what they could want.

I find that light works better.

Ladies, Joe College is home. Abba, abba.

Abba, abba to you, too.

What are you up to?

Nothing, just leafing through the mail.

Oh, this one's for you.

Well,

why didn't you steam it open?

We didn't have enough time.

How are you going to open it? It's from Pi Delta Gamma. Yeah, I know. It's an

invitation to a rush party. They've been after me all week, you know.

These frat guys don't take no for an answer.

Mona, not a word.

Oh, Tony, you can miss weddings, you can miss funerals, you can miss buses, but

you cannot miss a frat party. Yeah, well, I'm missing this one. I mean, I

tons of homework. I got to wash the kitchen floors, and I'm going to can

preserves. Who are you, Aunt Bea?

Look, Mona.

I am going to college to study and to learn and to get an education.

You sound like such a bore.

And she should know.

That is right, Mother. I, too, never took my nose out of the books, never

venturing out of the library stacks.

And then I would look at the kids and I would feel so envious of their youthful,

reckless abandon.

Don't you feel like you ever want to be a part of that?

Well, you know, you mean like when I'm leaving on a Friday and I see... All

those kids tossing frisbees around without a care in the world. Their

blasting and the smell of pizzas being delivered.

Yes, exactly.

Never crossed my mind.

Tony, go live. Take time to smell the pepperoni.

Don't make the same mistake I did. You're only a college freshman once. I

that, Angela. I know that. But I can't join a frat. I mean, I'm too old.

I mean, granted, I am oozing boyish charm.

But I wouldn't fit in, would I?

You would fit in anywhere.

You are a regular social Lego.

You think I... No, I think... Well, maybe I'm... No, I don't want to. Oh,

please.

This is not exactly Sophie's choice.

Will you go to the damn party?

It's all right, Mona. What the hell? I'll go to the party. What's the worst

could happen?

I'll be your date.

There's your answer.

Mm -hmm.

How do I look?

Fine.

Fine? What's wrong?

Dad, it's your hair.

It needs to be longer.

Well, Sam, I don't have time to grow it.

Maybe if I just try to fix it, okay?

That's perfect. That's it. Just don't move your head, okay? Okay, I'll just

around like this.

Well, your date is ready. Wow, awesome.

Dad, helpful hint number two.

Don't talk like a doofus. Why doofus? Why, why? Dad, awesome... It's been out

since Brooke Shields said it on the Bob Hope special.

Hey. Hi.

So, where are you guys going tonight?

To a college fraternity party.

No, really.

Where are you going?

I'm staying home. No way. I'm not going. Come here.

I want to show you something.

Look. Is that a dude or what?

Yeah, I'm a dude.

Hey, let's hit the road, doodad. Hey, what do you say?

Hey, let's go to college. There we go.

Boola, boola, boola, boola.

Geeks. Totally.

Nice

party,

huh? Oh, yes, it's very nice.

You want to go?

We've only been here 15 minutes.

I know, Angela, but nobody's even talked to us yet.

Well, maybe we should extend ourselves a little bit more.

Hello there.

I'm... My,

it is getting late. I told you this was a mistake. We're out of our element

here. We're out of our decade.

You know, if we leave now, I could be in bed by 10 o 'clock.

Hi.

Mike Greenspawn here.

Oh.

Hey, Tony Maselli here and Angela Bauer there.

So, is that your lady?

My lady? No, actually, we just... Hi.

Want to dance?

Me? Oh, sure, why not?

I really don't have to be in bed by ten.

We don't have to decide that right now.

Hey, Captain Goodtimes, keep it in neutral, huh?

Would you, uh, would you mind holding my purse?

Mingo, mingo.

Hi. Hi.

Nice purse.

I'm just holding it for my boss.

Oh, is he here too?

No, no.

He's a she.

She's out there dancing.

Oh, so does this mean you're available?

I guess.

Well, I hope you don't consider this too forward. I mean, I don't usually do

this kind of thing. No, I'm flattered, actually, but... I think you'd be

for my mom.

Your mom.

Who's that? How very thoughtful.

Would you excuse me for a second?

Hey, chill out. I'm getting ready.

Oh, my God.

Maples.

You know, you're very pretty.

Oh, thank you, but there's lots of pretty girls here.

Yes, but there's only one woman.

Um,

look, I hope you don't consider this too forward. Wait a minute.

Does this have anything to do with your mom?

My mom?

No, I just wanted to dance.

I knew that, I knew that.

Hey, you're a pretty good dancer. Well, I'm okay.

Hey,

show off.

Having a good time?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you know, who would have thought it? You were right.

You should listen to me more often. Yeah, I think I will. I mean, I feel so

Friday afternoon on the Quaddish. I mean, the only thing that's missing is

smell of pepperoni.

Pizza's there.

I'm in heaven.

Hey, you know what goes great with pizza?

Yeah, vodka.

Yeah, whatever this stuff is.

So, Tom, let me take you on a tour of the house.

We got a serious pool table upstairs you play. Well, I've chalked a few cues in

my time. Want to come along?

Hi.

Hi.

No, thanks. I think I'll just browse.

You're drooling, Angela.

Oh, if mother could see me now.

Oh, boy.

Angela, you going to join us for the chugging? Oh.

No, no, no, no, no, no. No alcohol for me. I'm driving.

Oh, come on, Angela.

Okay,

okay. Just to show you, I'm not a part of your war.

I'll join you, but I'll have punch.

Ready when you are. Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug, chug.

This is a blatant violation of your probation.

Loud music, drinking, and worst of all, an exotic dancer. Hold it.

Hold it, Bunky.

Are you saying I look like a stripper?

Yes. Why, thank you.

You people don't seem to understand.

Well, I warned you. This is the last straw.

Wait, wait, wait.

Hey, how dare you come in and rain on my parade?

You're missing me and my buddies.

Just who do you think you are?

Who am I?

I'm the man who's seriously considering revoking this fraternity's charter.

You wouldn't do that, would you, Cuddle?

Oh, you're so cute. I want to take a Polaroid of you.

That does it. Consider your charter revoked. Oh, hey.

Listen up, look.

Hide, hide, hide.

One, two, three.

to the security office.

Let's go. Come on. Let's go.

What a bummer.

I love that table. Oh, I gotta tell you, Pat.

I love the table. I love the house. I love the guys.

This is one great fraternity.

It was. There is no fraternity anymore. Thanks to your date.

What? Angela? Where is she? What happened? She told the dean off.

She got busted and she got her charter revoked.

Is this going to affect me becoming a gamma guy?

Campus security officers log, 7 October, 2100 hours.

After receiving several complaints of rowdiness at the Pied Delta Gamma House,

proceeded to investigate and found... rowdiness.

I have detained one individual, female, who... We gotta get out of this place.

And it's the last thing we ever do.

Will you stop?

Stop in the name of the Lord before you break my heart.

Hey, hey, hey. Stop. Hey, you can't do that. This is no joking matter.

I demand to see the warden.

Warden.

He smiles more.

Angela.

Tony.

Look, officer, I apologize for her.

I better get her out of here. Do I have to sign something to get her released?

Not so fast. I have some more forms to fill out.

You two stay here.

Angela. I'm shocked.

I'm appalled. I'm getting out of here.

Now, Angela, you can't do that, Angela.

It can lock up our bodies, but they cannot cage our spirit. Well,

what have we here? The great escape?

Officer, I can explain.

You're in.

now, Angela. Just take it easy and don't try to move until you think you're

ready.

I think I'm gonna be sick. You're ready.

What are we doing in jail?

Think real hard.

Ow, it hurts.

But let me try to refresh your memory.

According to legend, which you've already become.

You danced on a table, shaking everything in front of 37 very

young men.

Everything? Everything but the tassels.

Then, you fondled the dean's cheeks, practically undressing him, which caused

him to revoke the fraternity's charter.

Oh, Tony.

I ruined everything for you. Your chance to be in a fraternity, to have the full

college experience.

What you must... Think of me.

I've been living with you for four years now, and I never knew you had such a

fondness for demon rum.

I take exception to that. All I had was a little punch.

Come to think of it, I had a lot of punch.

I think somebody must have spiked it.

The punch?

Yeah.

Why, they spiked the punch, so you were just a victim.

Yeah. Why, you dirty little rotten... I mean, you could have been hurt. You

could have fallen down a flight of stairs or gotten behind the wheel of a

taken off more than your jacket.

You didn't, did you?

Of course not.

Boy, what a night.

I would have thought back at 8 o 'clock when Sam messed up my hair that I'd end

up like this.

Still looks good.

How about me?

You don't want to know.

You know, the last time I did anything this crazy was when I went to Woodstock.

Get out of here.

You went to Woodstock?

Oh, I went to Woodstock. Peace, love, flower power.

Well, I'm sorry, Angela. It's just a little hard to imagine you grooving to

Country Joe and the Fish.

Who?

I thought you were there.

I was. I did go. I just never felt like I belonged.

And then I took one look at the rain and the mud and the line for the bathroom.

I checked into the nearest motel.

Even then the music was so loud I couldn't finish my poli -sci paper.

You brought homework to Woodstock?

Believe me, I've spent weeks on this in therapy.

The Picken Avenue bus stop.

What?

I was just thinking, you know, when you were a flower child, I was a fish kid.

I was working for Mrs. Rossini at the fish market in Brooklyn.

And every morning I'd see those guys on their way to Brooklyn College waiting

for the bus across the street.

You know, and they'd be having such a great time, you know, and they'd look so

cool in their corduroy jackets, you know, the ones with the suede patches.

Oh, yeah, those are great.

And then I'd get to daydreaming about what it would be like to be one of them,

and then I'd hear Mrs.

Rossini screaming, Tony, those fish aren't going to gut themselves!

And then I'd watch the bus pull away and wish I was on it.

You had as miserable an adolescence as I did.

Well, it wasn't that bad. I just missed college.

Which one of you is the tonester?

That would be me.

Some visitors here to see you.

Thanks, Fredster.

Tone.

Tone, my man, you're doing time.

What happened?

Figures.

An update on the frat front. Our probation has been extended six months.

But the good news is we're not going to lose our charter. Oh, I'm so glad.

When you're glad, I'm glad.

We talked to the dean and told him we'd kick out the guys who spiked the punch.

Good. So we are back in business.

All the bros are behind you.

You're a lot to be a gamma guy.

Well, I'll tell you the truth, Pat. I've been thinking maybe...

This fraternity stuff isn't for me.

I don't get it. What are you going to do for fun? Hang out at home?

Yeah.

I'd stay at home, too, if I had a wild woman like that.

Come on, Meister. The

woman is trouble.

Hey, I happen to like trouble.

Um, Tony, I don't get it.

I thought you wanted to be in a fraternity.

What about the frisbee and the stereo and all the reckless abandon?

Well, I got a frisbee and I got a stereo and you got reckless abandon coming out

of your ears.

Besides, Angela, I mean, if your life is working, who wants to be 19 again?

Oh, Tony.

I really think I'm going to be sick.

We've got to find a great place to put it where we're sure he'll see it.

Hang it by the mirror. He's always looking there.

Good idea.

That right here?

Okay.

Tony, come down here for a minute, please.

Angela, later. I'm studying.

It's important.

What?

What's the matter? What happened? What?

Notice anything different?

You two got your teeth cleaned?

No.

Take another look.

Fingerprints. Oh, no.

No, not the mirror. The jacket.

Oh, yeah.

Hello.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hang on, hang on, hang on.

It's Mike Greenspan.

Oh, the gamma guys never give up. Tell him I'm not here.

Excuse me, dear. I think that's for me.