Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hidden. A brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost in a dream or two.

I found a friend and at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long that you might awaken to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

new life around here.

Isn't my bride beautiful?

Oh, she's Mona beautiful.

She's Mona.

Friends and relatives, we're gathered together to join this man and this woman

in holy matrimony.

Usually I ask this question later in the ceremony, but all things considered,

I'd like to clear it up now.

Is there anyone present who objects to this union?

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

I object.

Me too.

Mona, I thought we had a date Friday night.

Wait a minute. She's going out with me Friday night.

Mother, mother, this is embarrassing.

No, it's not, dear.

Settle down.

Hey, settle down.

Guys, thanks for the memories.

It was great while it lasted.

And some of you lasted longer than others.

But from now on, I am a one -man woman.

They're lighting candles in singles bars all over New England.

Oh, you big lug.

I'm yours forever.

So, that's my dream.

It's so clear in my mind, I can almost hear the tin cans rattling behind my

robe. Oh, Max, you paint such a romantic picture. Yeah, Mona getting married.

Makes me want to throw wild rice.

So am I to assume that I have your permission to marry Mona?

Oh, Max, take my mother, please.

Oh, you have made me so happy. Welcome to the family.

Mona kissed a lot of frogs to get to this prince.

All right, all right, guys, now listen.

I want your advice on how to pop the question.

I want to make this a very special moment for Morna. Oh, I know exactly

do.

Down, down, down.

Take her to a little French restaurant for a candlelight dinner, and when she's

not looking, you slip the ring into her champagne glass. But make sure she

doesn't chug a log.

You know, Angela, I'm a little surprised.

I thought you might go for something, you know, a bit more romantic.

Like, picture this.

You're at Yankee Stadium.

Yankee Stadium.

On a hot day.

In one hand, you got a hot dog, mustard and relish. In the other hand, you got a

cold beer, okay? In your lap is a box of Cracker Jacks. Now, during the seventh

inning stretch, you go for the Cracker Jacks, you open the box, and you pull

the prize.

And let me tell you, it ain't no plastic whistle.

It's a diamond ring.

Oh. Suddenly, the organ player plays, and

you hear over the loudspeaker, Angela Bauer, will you marry me?

You say yes, the crowd roars, and we live happily ever...

Well, I mean, you and the lucky guy live happily ever after.

That is beautiful, Tony. That is so sweet. Sweet, sweet, sweet.

nothing. Good things come to those who wait.

Wait? Wait for what?

It's a surprise.

Oh, come on. Come on now. Give me just a little hint. All right. I'll give you

just one little hint.

Will you marry me?

What?

Guess you couldn't wait till baseball season.

Well, will you?

Oh, you big lug.

I'm yours.

forever.

Just as I pictured it.

But my answer is no. No? No.

No. There's that echo again.

Wow.

I never had my name in the sky before.

Oh, Max.

The candy and the flowers and now this.

You are spoiling me rotten.

And I'm a pushover for rotten.

And the answer is yes.

Well, everything's going so well for us. Why change it?

Mona, I want to be with you all the time.

We'll take a cruise around the world for a year.

Mona, I want to take you away from all of this. Well, I don't want to get away

from all of this. I want to keep my job.

I want to watch my grandson grow up and...

I want to insult my daughter.

Why, fine.

Then we'll get married and stay here.

Max, what's the rush, huh?

Can't we just enjoy the moment?

Good moment.

That must be my darling grandson delivering some more of your romantic

Beat it, Jonathan.

Suzanne Roberts.

I don't know any Suzanne Roberts.

I do.

That's my ex -wife.

Beat it, Suzanne.

Is Max there?

I'd better get it. She's a very persistent lady.

Hello, Max.

Suzanne, what are you doing here?

Aren't you going to invite me in? No.

He never means what he says.

You must be Mona.

And you must be 25.

Next April.

Suzanne, what was important enough to bring you all the way up here to

Connecticut? You.

Remember what you said when we split up? That it was the biggest mistake of our

lives?

You are absolutely right.

Don't do that.

If you'd like to talk, we'll talk, but this is neither the time nor the place.

Okay. How about my apartment?

Tonight.

How about right here? Right now?

You don't mind?

No. Of course not.

I'll be downstairs at Angela's.

How very gracious of you, Mona.

Max and I have a lot to catch up on. Well, take your time.

Oh, and if you need a break, there's a scratching post in the kitchen.

Oh. All right, all right.

Oh, baby.

Oh. Oh.

Come to papa.

A center cut roast.

New potatoes.

Baby carrots and gravy to die for.

Perfection in a pan.

Too bad I'm stuffed.

I never should have had that last chocolate.

Yeah, order 40 before it.

Life is wonderful.

Oh, I'm glad to hear that, Mona. I hope you're hungry.

No, I couldn't eat a thing.

Why don't I just pack up my meat to mom and go where people eat?

Well, maybe I'll have a little later on. It's just that...

Well, right now, I'm just too excited.

What do you mean?

Well, I've decided to marry Max.

Oh,

Mona, that's terrific.

Well, that's wonderful. What made you change your mind? Who cares what made

change her mind?

We're getting married.

Ladies and young ladies, presenting...

this living room only, the future, Mrs. Mona Robinson Muldoon.

So what do you think?

Uh, well, Mother, don't you think that's a little risque for the wedding night?

This is for the wedding.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, let me tell you. We had the greatest time out there. It's

bride's heaven out there, huh? We picked out stemware, flatware, china patterns,

sheets, and towels.

I could not get him out of housewares. Yeah, yeah. All she wanted to see was

stealing mirrors.

Come on, Samantha.

You can help me unwrap all the packages.

Oh, great. I can't wait to see what you've got. Yeah, yeah. Mona, Mona,

let her near that red box.

Gee, you know.

Weddings are a lot of work.

Makes you wonder if they're even worth it.

What? I thought this is what you wanted.

I thought it was, too.

Well, so what's wrong?

Mona's happy.

Max is happy. I'm happy.

You're a wet blanket.

Tony, something just doesn't add up. One minute she wants to be free as a

gazelle, and the next minute she's making a lifetime commitment.

Well, that's Mona.

You know, flighty, free -spirited, wacko.

But, hey, she could take care of herself.

Yeah, well, maybe you're right.

Aren't I always?

Do

you

think that I should invite Edith and Edgar Simmons?

Sure, if you want to.

Well, I don't really want to, but they invited me to their wedding.

So invite them.

Yeah, but it was a real snore.

Oh, don't invite them. But, you see, I gave them a pricey gift, which probably

means they'll give me one.

Because Edith is incredibly small -minded. She remembers these things.

Gosh, you know, isn't life funny?

You know, I mean, one minute you're saying no, no, no, and the next minute

you're saying I do, I do, I do.

Well, you know... Mother, what... What was that magic moment that made you

change your mind?

Well, actually, there were several, dear.

We'll talk about it when you're older.

Mother,

I just can't help but think nothing... Ah, Tony.

Just the man I wanted to talk to. Oh, yeah? Do you think that we should invite

the Simmons to the wedding? Oh, the Simmons. Well, I don't know. You know,

party he went to, he got drunk, he put a lampshade on his head, and he started

taking his clothes off.

You're right. They're in.

Oh, it was terrific.

You should have seen the costumes. Oh, and the routine.

And the legs on those babes.

Tongue to the floor.

Where did he get these things?

Pee -wee's Playhouse.

I almost forgot.

I've got some munchies here for you. Oh, boy.

Hey, Mona, Mona, do not ruin your appetite. I reheated this roast twice

One more time, I'll be wearing it on my feet. Tell me, Cracker Jacks. With the

pies?

Oh, open it up, Mona. You know, it's a good appetizer for roast.

You know,

the last time I opened one of these things, I got one of those things you

that makes cricket noises.

That's from Cricket Clicker.

We helped pick it out.

We? You wanted to get the smaller one. I was the one who held out for the major

rock.

That's my girl.

Oh, Max, we're going to be so happy together.

Just the three of us.

A small token of my love. And not that you care, but it's twice as big as

Suzanne's.

Suzanne? Who is Suzanne?

Oh, Max's ex -wife.

She dropped by a couple of days ago. Let me tell you, Mona showed a great deal

of class.

Oh, what was your ex -wife doing here?

She wanted to get back together again.

Hey, hey, hey.

This guy is spoken for.

Now you're talking, Max, my man, huh? Is this a cute couple or what?

Come on, Max, let's go up to my place.

Mother, could I have a word or two with you in the kitchen, please?

No. Mother, we really need to talk.

You sure know how to spoil a girl's fun.

Don't go far, caveman.

I won't.

Well, Johnny, don't you think it's time that we planned my bachelor party?

How about Thai Babylonia jumping out of a cake?

Just want to ask you one thing.

Was the night she came over the night you decided to marry Max?

Who remembers?

Angela, if you will excuse me, Max is waiting for me, and I have some

to show. Just tell me if it was the same night.

Angela, what is it with you?

Mother, just look at the fact. One minute you want to be free, and the next

minute his ex -wife shows up and you've got a diamond the size of a coconut.

Oh.

So that's what it's about, huh?

Coconut envy. Give me a little credit.

I just... I just think you feel threatened.

Mona Robinson does not know the meaning of the word threatened.

It means insecure.

Vulnerable.

Feeling inadequate to a former wife.

Who happens to be a younger woman.

Time to check my roast.

Angela, you don't know what you're talking about. Mother, I just don't want

see you marry Max for the wrong reason. Well, if you feel that way about it,

maybe you shouldn't come to my wedding. Oh, we feel what way? Mother, I think...

You're overreacting. We can find some other place to have the wedding. Some

place with more room and nicer furniture.

Oh, Rona, why don't we just rent other chairs?

We'll have it at Max's apartment.

Or on the yacht.

That would be very nice. Oh, time out.

Wait, what happened?

Don't worry, Tony.

You're still invited to the wedding.

What'd you do?

That woman will not listen to reason. Do you know why she's marrying Max?

Because she's afraid of losing him to Suzanne.

Oh, Angela, I don't think you're right. I know I'm right.

Well, maybe you are, but maybe you're wrong.

Hey, one thing's for sure.

She's your mother, she's getting married, and you should be there.

You heard her. She doesn't even want me there.

What is this world coming to?

It's enough to break a housekeeper's heart.

All right, Jonathan, are you ready to take over? Sure, Grandma. What do I do?

Well, right here where it says the wedding will take place at 3344 Oak

Drive, cross that out.

Put Pier 61.

Getting married on a boat is a neat idea.

If anybody brings a cheapo gift, you can make them walk the plank.

Yes.

How's it going?

Fine. I couldn't be happier.

Jonathan, would you like to run out and mail those invitations?

Sure, Grandma.

As soon as you marry Max, will he put me in his will?

Goodbye, Jonathan.

I came to deliver this.

Oh.

Our first wedding gift, huh?

Yes, it's from me.

Why?

Open it.

It's great -grandmother's sterling comb.

Yes, you gave it to me when I married Michael.

And now I want you to have it.

Do you remember what you said when you gave it to me?

Break it and you're dead.

I mean after that.

Just some mushy stuff.

I remember exactly.

You said Michael wasn't your first choice for me as a husband.

But that I'd always be your first choice as a daughter.

I said that?

Yes.

And you said that as long as I was happy, that's all you cared about.

And now I'm saying that to you.

Thank you, dear.

And now can I please come to your wedding?

You should see Suzanne.

She's really beautiful.

Max has great taste in women.

This insecurity thing is new to me.

You've come to the master.

You could lean on me.

I will.

In just a second...

Mother, where are you going? I'm going to stop Jonathan from mailing those

invitations.

This lady is not getting married until she's good and ready.

Oh, I just hope Max understands.

Oh, of course he will.

No, I mean about keeping this coconut.

Oh, Tony, you really know how to throw a bachelor party.

Yeah, this is wild.

You know, I gotta say, Max, you're a real good sport going through with this,

even though Mona called off the wedding, you know. Hey, don't count me out yet.

You know, I didn't become a successful businessman by taking no for an answer.

She'll come around.

I don't know, you know, you never can tell with these Robinson women.

Hey, um...

Speaking of women, wait till you see the video I got.

Huh? Oh, this is going to knock your socks off.

Get ready, boys.

Welcome to the Ice Capades, a celebration of escape.

All right, this is hot.