Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hidden.

Friendly life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

And found a trail.

And at the end was you.

There's a path you take and a path not taken.

The choice is up to you, my friend.

Not so long, but you're not awake to a brand new life.

Brand new life. A brand new life for ground and wind.

Call him a rebel with a cause.

Local Parents Association president Tony Maselli is about to spend the next 48

hours on a billboard. Why, Tony?

Because it's there, Russ.

No, to tell you the truth, the whole point of this is to remind people that

fun to read, you know, and we're going to be asking for pledges for every hour

that I'm up on that billboard. And no amount is too small, Russ, so how much

you in for?

I guess a buck.

Oh, you cheapo.

Next question.

Tony, won't you be awfully lonely up there? Are you kidding, Russ? I'm going

be with my buddies.

Here they are now.

Romeo and Juliet and Moby Dick. Two star -crossed lovers and a whale.

Tony, now what is all this big deal about reading?

Well... Let me see if I can feel that one for you, Russ. You see, reading

you out of this world and puts you in another one. It's like our slogan says,

escape with a book. Ah, very clever, Tony. That was my idea.

She's in the frame, Russ. Well, I guess I should give credit to Miss Angela

Bauer from the Bauer Agency.

Please, no commercials.

323 East 57th Street. And validated parking in the Rio.

And I am her mother.

Of course, my slogan was much better. Take a book to bed. Or at least somebody

who's read one.

Russ, you're losing control here. Tony, Tony, Tony. Now, don't you think it's

about time to make that long, lonely climb? You're right, Russ. Here we go

Let's go.

Let's get ready here. Give me my stuff.

Give me my stuff.

Yeah, I got everything.

Don't worry about it. Give me this here.

Come on.

Oh, my books. I hope I get my books.

All right.

Bye.

Tony Mazzelli, a man with a mission. But can he make it for the next 48 hours?

Isolated. All alone.

Without human contact.

Completely cut off from the rest of the world?

Oh, that must be for me.

Hello.

Yeah. Yeah, Mario, yeah. No, no, no, a large pizza.

Large, yeah.

Double cheese. Have it here, say noonish. Okay. I love you, too.

Hello, little people.

Pledge Central, how may I bilk you?

Two dollars an hour. Well, that's very generous.

Two lousy bucks an hour, Phil.

Phil, do you remember that hardware convention in Cleveland you invited me

Well, how'd you like it if I blew the whistle to Mrs. Phil?

Ah, thanks, Phil.

Phil's Hardware, 20 bucks an hour.

20 bucks an hour?

Mona, that was blackmail.

I, on the other hand, rely on my charm.

That's why you get two bucks an hour.

Hello, Pledge Central.

I would like to pledge $8 ,000 for every hour that that great American

is up there.

$1 ,000?

What the hell? Make it $2 ,000. I love your sexy voice, yeah.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Eddie, is this you?

What do you mean, Eddie?

Gotcha.

That'll teach you to toy with my emotions.

Yeah, you love it.

So, how's life in the great outdoors?

Oh, it's great. It's great.

Except for the pigeons.

Oh,

hold on just a second. Sam wants to talk to you.

Hi, Dad.

Bye, sweetheart.

Dad, do you remember that guy, Chris Olin? The answer's no.

Oh, come on, Dad.

Dad, he only wants to take me to a movie. No way, Sam. I mean, come on. I

be there to meet him and to get to know him and to scare him.

But, Dad, come on. I love you, too, sweetheart. Put Angela back on. Bye,

Bye. Here, Angela.

Oh.

Me again.

Those things at Pledge Central.

Tony, the phones are ringing off the hook.

Fairfield is really behind you. Not just Fairfield. There's a lady here from

Baltimore. She saw Tony on the local news.

There's a lady calling from Baltimore. She saw you on the local news.

She's pledging $100.

She's pledging $100.

$200 if you'll father her child.

She's pledging $100.

So, kids.

Read Moby Dick.

Huh? It's beautifully written, and it raises some deep philosophical

And I'm telling you, the big guy, he eats more people than Jaws.

All right. All right, Pledge fans.

Now, look, I've been up here.

Let's see.

I've been up here for ten hours. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. And I know,

I know it's the dinner hour right now, but we cannot afford a lull.

So put down that field chop and get on the horn, huh? Hey, what do I got to do

to get more pledges? Stand on my head?

Hello? Well, you must be Angela Bauer. Yes?

I'm James Winslow.

Oh, well, hello. National Director of the Parents Association. Please, come

Thank you very much.

You know, back in Washington, we have heard great things about your reading

campaign. Well, thank you, and welcome to the hub of activity.

All right, now, but come, look at these figures.

Oh, well, this chapter has done it again.

Yeah, well, it's Tony. He's so dynamic and so creative.

So upside down.

All right, pledge fans, keep them pledges coming or I'll sing, too.

He's got so much charm, so much humor.

He does, doesn't he? Oh, he's a diamond in the rough, a man of the people.

A modern -day Abe Lincoln.

It's

lonely

at the top.

Yeah, yeah, I just called to say goodnight.

Yeah. And I want to remind you to make sure you, you know, you wind the

clock there.

Yeah.

Oh, and do me a favor. Give the kids a goodnight kiss for me, huh?

Oh, and, hey, most important, make sure you tape all my TV appearances.

Yeah, well, you know, I'm doing a lot of boppo stuff up here, and I want my

grandkids to see it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Oh, oh, hey, don't forget, lock the front door.

Oh, yeah, I'll do the same.

Good night, Angela.

Oh, thank you very much.

Now, will that be cash, check, or charge?

But, Central, may I help you?

I can't believe it, Bonnie. He won't let me go out with anyone until the stupid

marathon is over.

Do you think Jerry Lewis' daughter has to put up with this?

Angela, I'm afraid I have some bad news.

Something that could put a black cloud over your happy household.

You're moving next door?

Joanne, what are you talking about? Why don't we just tune in and see?

Thank you, Tony Mastelli and Parents Association honcho James Winslow.

A man, a billboard, a dream, and you saw it here on Channel 6.

Just one minute, please, Russ.

Tony, I know this is a bit unorthodox, but I'm going to make this offer in

public because I don't want to give you a chance to say no.

How would you like to be the Parents Association's National Coordinator for

Special Projects in Washington, D .C.? That's the longest job I've ever been

offered.

And the best.

Yeah, yeah, you're telling me.

Washington, D .C.? Does that mean you're moving, Sam?

So, what do you say, Tony? Well, Jimbo, I am certainly flattered, I really

am, but I'm going to have to pass.

Well, you heard it here.

How can he turn that down?

Unless he's getting major fringe benefits at home.

Oh, Joanne, not everyone is as lucky as your gardener.

Well, Twit, it looks like you're still stuck with me.

Yeah, isn't it great?

I think it's terrific.

Don't you, Angela?

Angela?

Yeah, yeah, I think it's wonderful.

Oh, son, it feels so good.

Oh, gee, I hope I don't burn.

This isn't working.

Anybody home?

Angela, what are you doing here?

Well, I just happened to be in the neighborhood, so I thought I'd drop off.

Well, come on. Come on in here. Come on in.

Hey, hey, hey.

Have a seat. Have a seat.

I got all the comforts of home except for Central Eve, you know. Well, I

your remedy for that.

Some hot consomme.

Oh, good.

I could soak my feet in this.

Oh,

you know, Angela, I'm glad you came because I've been thinking, you know.

been reading Romeo and Juliet.

Oh, that's a great story. That's really romantic.

Hey, they're both Italian.

But anyway, anyway, you know, I was just thinking, you, You think I'm too strict

with Samantha?

I mean, you know, if Juliet's parents would have lightened up a little bit,

those two kids would be happily married and living in Verona Heights.

I like that ending better.

Tony,

I wasn't just in the neighborhood. I wanted to talk to you.

Well, what did you do here? You mixed chicken and beef bouillon?

Yeah.

It's good.

Speaking of good, I saw you on the news this afternoon.

Oh, yeah. Well, how do I look? Five pounds heavier?

Sure, but so does Roger Ebert.

I must say, I really like the way you handled the interview.

Only one thing bothered me.

What? What you said.

Oh, I should have never called him Jimbo, right?

Tony, Tony.

I've been in business a long time.

And I know that opportunities like this don't come along very often.

You think you gave this decision enough thought?

Oh, come on, Angela. What are you kidding me? I just moved Sam from

Connecticut. What am I going to do now?

Drag her out to someplace else, put her in another school?

Are you kidding?

And Jonathan, I mean, he's just starting to come out of his shell. I mean, he's

shooting hoops at everything.

I can't leave before he makes a basket.

And what about you?

What? And Mona.

I mean, she's a constant problem, you know. I mean, raising her isn't easy,

know.

Will you listen to yourself?

You're talking about everybody else's needs.

What about you?

You've got to start thinking about your future.

Hey, Angela, are you trying to get rid of me? No, no.

It's just that I don't want you to wake up in a couple of years and say, I

should have.

Tony, when I saw you on TV...

I felt something in you that I've never seen before.

Ah, come on.

You've seen me stand on my head before.

No, no.

Not really.

You... You can do anything you set your mind to.

You think so?

I know so.

You know, if I did take that job, I'd be the first Miss Shelley to go to work in

a tie.

Well, except for Uncle Freddy the mortician.

But I'd be the first Miss Tilly to go to work with a tie and work with live

people.

Well, maybe I should just leave you to your thoughts.

Oh, thanks a lot. Wow, you drink that constantly now. Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay?

Okay.

Great, bye.

I can't get down.

What do you mean? You got up okay?

Well, coming up, I was looking up, but going... I can't even say it.

Oh, you mean you have that acro... What do you call it with the height?

Deathly fear of.

That's it.

Tony, I don't think I can get down without your help.

Well, Angela, I can't help you. The minute I step off this billboard, it's

pledge money.

I'll cover it.

That's a lot of money.

Well, what are we going to do?

Well, me billboard has two billboards.

Okay,

all right.

How are you feeling?

Much better, thanks.

Okay, well, hey, I'm with your pop tent. You mean move?

Yeah, come on. I'll tell you what. I'll peel you off the billboard.

Come on.

Nice and easy. Come on.

Now look. Don't look down. Nice and easy. Don't look down.

We got you. Watch out now. We're almost there.

We're almost there.

I... Don't know much about camping, but isn't it a bad omen when your tent flies

away?

Don't worry about it. We're going to be warm. Come on, come back, come back.

Look, guess what I got? What? I got a sleeping bag.

Just one?

Well, I'm sorry, but I wasn't expecting drop -up guests.

Don't worry about it. Hey, look, I've had two people in here before.

I mean, I mean, there's plenty of people.

Here we go. Yeah.

Just hang on here.

I'll make it real easy for you.

All right?

You step in there. Step in. Feet first. Go ahead.

Hey, no, no. I know. I know. No, no. I know how hard it is to step.

Come on.

That's the girl.

That's the girl.

Now me.

Now me.

Make it easy. Make it easy.

Make it easy.

Get in.

All right, here.

Here we go.

Whoa!

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

Just kidding. Just kidding.

Here we go.

Here we go.

There we go.

Hold on.

Hold on.

You putting on a few pounds? No.

Just kidding.

Here we go.

All right.

Okay, now look.

When I say three, we just slide right down to the ground. Ready? Okay.

One, two, three.

That wasn't so bad, was it? No, it's...

It's actually kind of cozy.

Oh, the city lights.

Oh, you know, when you're down there in the middle of it, you never notice how

really beautiful it is.

Yeah, well, I used to really appreciate it. You know, you have to be above it.

You know, way up, looking down.

Tony. I'm so sorry.

Well...

I guess we'll call it a night, huh? Hey, no reason to lock up.

Good night, Tony.

You know, uh, Hans, I really do appreciate you coming all the way up

you know, bringing me that great consomme and, uh, and, you know, helping

think this thing out.

Well, anything to get out of the house.

Hey, Angela.

Yeah?

How would you feel if I took that job?

I'd be proud.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Well,

I... He never did like wearing a tie anyway.

Good night, Angela.

Good night.

Well, the Tony Metelli Billboard Marathon has officially come to a close,

here he comes now making his final descent. Come on, Angela.

Relax, relax. One moment.

That's a girl. Here we go.

Action easy.

Guess what's coming up next? Oh, no, oh, no. The ground.

The ground. Take it easy.

Come on. Here we are. Here we are.

The reading campaign has been a huge success, and the Parent Association has

made over $10 ,000.

Could you break this up, please? I need to get a clear shot.

No way. I'm never letting go of this family.

Oh, that's my favorite part. I could watch it forever.

I was afraid of that. Yeah, yeah. Just let me rewind it. Oh, no.

Dad, do we have to watch it again?

Yes. No, no.

Sondra was the smart one. Denise was the trendy one. Rudy was the cute one. Theo

was the boy.

So what about Vanessa?

Oh, yeah, Vanessa was the middle child.

Stay tuned.