Original subtitles

There's a time for love and a time for living, to take a chance and face the

wind. An open road and a road that's hidden, a brand new life around the

Life's a long, but it's a mighty way to a brand new life, a brand new life, a

brand new life around the bend.

Drinking rum and coca -cola, go down for kumana, both

mother and daughter, working for the Yankee Dialogue.

Ow! Ow!

All right, now you're really getting me.

Knock it off! Why are you sitting on my brother?

Hi, Mona, how was your day?

Ow! Ow! Beat it, you big fool! Ow! Ow!

to help your mother set the table.

Well, I guess I showed him.

Yes, this couldn't take much more.

Well, he said you kissed Jimmy Wilson in the backseat of his father's Hudson.

That's not true.

It was a Studebaker.

Mona! Cornelia!

Time to wash up.

Mom, I've been fighting, will you?

Depends. What do you want money for now?

A Betty Grable bathing suit.

How will you hold it up?

Mom, that's what Cornelius wants!

Okay, okay, okay.

It's a deal.

Deal.

Cornel. Don't call me that.

You don't know who you're fooling with.

Who?

And then the dumb alarm went off.

That was a great dream, Mona.

What do you think it meant?

I think it was one of those sibling rivalry wish fulfillment things, you

That or the burrito I wolfed down at midnight.

Oh, yes, I've always seen Cornelius as someone who aimed for the stars.

Well, at least he hit the broad side of a barn.

Mother, I put together a care package.

Oh, well, thank you, dear, but I'm only going to New York for the weekend. No,

it's for Uncle Cornelius. I thought after all the time in the service that

might enjoy some things like a little bow tie, see, and a golf cap.

And, oh, a Hawaiian shirt.

And, uh, our gossip.

Oh, gee, he'll be the best -dressed guy in Manhattan.

Mona, you must be so excited.

How long has it been since you two got together?

Well, it must be over three years.

Gee, Maude, that's a long time to see your own brother.

No, it's just about right.

All

righty,

here you go, folks.

Here are your vouchers. Now, they entitle you to a window seat on the bus

free I Love New York visor.

Adjustable. Here we go, right? This way.

Now, you just tell the driver, Don, Wes sent you. He'll take real good care of

you. And do we get to see the Statue of Liberty?

What for? It's on every postcard. Believe me, you're going to have a great

in the South Bronx.

We are the world.

I just love helping people. And getting a $10 kickback.

I love that, too.

Don, you have no class.

Welcome to the Nottingham.

You know what? They once made a movie here.

What was it? The Shining?

Yes, sir.

Now, enjoy your stay here. And if a pigeon gets caught in your room, they

to be scratched.

Right here.

Hi.

Hi. I'm Kitty McLaren, and I'm here to welcome you and make your stay a

one. Oh, good.

I'd like a room.

Without a pigeon?

Mona?

Cornelius! Oh, you look great.

A little thinner up here, a little thicker down here.

Well, you're looking fit, a little flamboyant, but I lost that battle years

You certainly did, Cornball.

Don't call me that.

Well? Well, what?

Well, I cannot wait another minute. What is the big surprise?

You're standing in it.

No, no, no. I... I mean my hotel.

Did you say your hotel? As in you bought it? Lock, stock, and bed sheets.

Do you like it?

Well, it's... It's really something.

thing. That's what all the guests think.

This is the worst hotel I've ever stayed in.

I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Padman.

Why don't I give you another night at no charge?

No. No, not another night.

Excuse me. I am the owner. How may I help you?

We've been here three days.

I had a shower in cold water and we never saw a maid.

I had to walk five blocks to Woolworth's to buy a towel.

Oh, no.

There's a pick and save right around the corner.

Please try to understand. We're still working out the bug.

And that's another thing.

Come on, Irwin.

I don't get it.

Some people don't appreciate a fine hotel.

Well, call me crazy, Cornelius.

But if you buy a hotel, shouldn't you know something about running it?

I...

This is a perfect business for a retired military officer. You billet the

troops. You run the mess hall. You live on the base. And best of all, everyone

wears a uniform.

Why didn't you just buy West Point?

I don't understand your attitude.

I mean, you're the one who always said, loose up.

You know, take a chance. I did.

I thought you, you of all people, would be happy for me.

Well, if this is what you want, I am.

You mean it? Of course I do.

I am happy for you.

Good.

I'm happy you're happy. And we'll be happy all the way to the bank.

We?

Yes, that's the other surprise.

I put your savings in it, too.

You put my savings in this right hole.

Get a grip on yourself.

I'm telling you that this hotel is a model of efficiency.

Taxi!

Missed my stop again.

Oh, brother.

Very close to the second floor.

I know, we have a few problems, but I got a great deal on this place. Good,

you can give me my money back. Oh, come on, give it a chance. You haven't even

seen the roof garden. How do we get there? Climb a rope? Oh, that's just

you, Mona.

Unwilling to sit down and talk logically.

You want logic?

A, this place is a dump. B, you bought it. C, I hope it falls on you.

I think I made my point.

Am I hallucinating, or, I mean, is this room a knockout? It sure is.

That's why I take my naps here.

Oh, I'm Tessie, the head housekeeper.

I'm Mona, old blood and gut sister.

Oh, yeah.

I see the resemblance.

Tell me, Tessie, Are there more rooms like this?

Yeah.

But not in this hotel.

Then why is this suite so elegant?

Well, that Mr. Radcliffe, he was the former owner. He was a real Don Juan

Capistrano.

He used to keep his main squeeze here.

That sounds juicy.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, then you're going to love this.

I found her diary, and it tells everything.

We always knew when they were up here because the chandelier in the lobby used

to quiver.

A diary, huh?

Do you mind if I take a look at this?

Well, all right, but I want it back.

I was thinking of selling it to Judith Kranz.

Everything but a trapeze.

March 29.

Room service.

I'm Eddie the bellhop.

Doesn't the waiter usually bring room service? You're right.

I'm also Eddie the waiter.

See, your brother figured he'd give me the chance to learn as many jobs as I

could at one time.

Gosh, this man has so much knowledge.

Yes, he's full of it.

Here you go, Eddie. This is for you.

Five bucks?

That's the biggest tip I ever got.

Are you sure you're his sister?

Don't you see the resemblance?

No way.

Here's another buck.

Well, I'd love to chat, but I have to get to work. Thank you, Eddie. Oh, thank

you, Mrs. Robinson.

You're the best.

Mrs.

Robinson, I'm Jim Ratcliffe.

Oh, well, come in.

And call me Mona.

Mona. What a nice name.

Old -fashioned, but it's got a hint of excitement.

That's me, Jane Austen in a hot tub.

Thank you for coming on such short notice. Well, it's nice to visit my old

hotel. Bet this room brings back memories.

How can I help you?

Okay. Now, here's the deal.

You sold my brother a business he does not know how to run.

Now, I want you to buy it back.

Or you will leave me with no choice but to show your wife this.

By the way, my compliments.

If you're going to do it, do it right.

So, what do you think of my little scam?

Great execution.

The only problem is, my wife already knows.

Ah, rat.

I'm afraid this extortion thing is just a no -go.

Sorry, Mona.

Well, that's all right.

It was my first blackmail.

And you were very gentle.

And you're a charming woman.

Maybe there's some way I can help.

Really?

All right. What are you doing here, Reckless? Well, he was doing very well

you showed up.

What's the matter, Rockwell? Are you afraid I'm going to steal an ashtray?

out of my hotel.

Oh, you're talking pretty big for a guy who's in hock up to his eyebrows.

In hock?

You're already late on your first payment. Late?

You'll get your money, don't worry.

I don't have to worry.

I can foreclose any time I want.

Foreclose? Now you're really getting me mad.

Cornelius, this man is trying to help us. Oh, I know how he helps, yes, but

with my sister, you don't.

All right, out.

Let me show you the door.

Get your hands off me.

Don't push me.

Hey!

Nobody pushes me.

Don't touch me. Hey, come on. Oh, my goodness.

I'm sorry, Mona, but if he ever re -enlists, call me.

Cornelius, you are such a handful.

Here, sit down here. Sit.

Let me take a look at that.

Mona,

you know I have a low pain threshold. More like a low brain threshold.

I'm sorry that this visit didn't work out. I'm sorry that I invested your

without asking. But I am not sorry that I bought this hotel.

This represents a whole new chapter in my life.

Does it have to be chapter 11?

All you see are torn carpets, dingy drapes, and a broken elevator.

Don't forget the sprinklers in 310. They go off when you flush in 412.

Well, you can't rush these things.

You can if you're in 412.

It's on the list.

I know, I know. It's a long list. But this hotel used to be great.

And it could be great again.

Look at this.

This is a picture of the Nottingham.

when she was young and beautiful.

Look, they had cotillions and balls and tea dances.

This is the finest hotel in town.

Oh, look.

There's a string quartet in the lobby.

Oh, that man certainly has a nice fiddle. Oh, don't be naughty.

Cornelius, really, it wasn't such a bad visit.

You were very sweet to invite me down.

And this room is charming.

Don't worry about the money. You'll pay me back someday.

Or else.

Here, here.

Hold that there.

Now just sit here and try to stop bleeding and I'll get you some ice.

Don't worry.

You'll think of something.

Just keep your chin up.

Mona! Oh, hi.

Hello, Kitty.

Could you send a bucket of ice up to my suite?

Sure. Are you having a party?

Hardly.

You know, in a...

A twisted kind of way.

I'm going to miss this place.

You're not leaving, are you?

I was only meant to be here for the weekend.

I know, but I was thinking you might want to stick around.

I kind of saw you as the great red hope.

You know, Kitty, I might need a little favor. Do you have any plans for this

evening? No.

Oh, but you've got to swear you won't tell Dawn.

Going to lay around in bed all day? Come on.

What's going on here?

We need you downstairs.

Come on. March.

I'm in my jammies. One, two, three, four.

And a teamster.

It was Mrs. Robinson's idea, but we all picked in.

You are such a sucker.

You can send it all back because I can't pay for it. No, no, I paid for it,

Cornelius. It is not going to cost you a nickel.

Why?

Why did you do this?

Because you wouldn't.

And if we're going to succeed in the hotel business, we have to do it right.

We?

That's right, we.

A girl has got to protect her investment, hasn't she? Look, you got my

now you got me.

Oh, Mona.

Well, there may be room for a silent partner in this establishment.

Me? Silent?

No way.

That's what I thought.

So? So? So what? So, do we have a deal or what?

Deal.

Yeah!

Come on, bro. Let's boogie.

No, no. No, no, no. We're not going to boogie here in this lobby. I'm not going

to scuff up these floors. Stop the music.

Now, everyone, disperse and return to your stations. We have a hotel to run.

Yes, sir.

Okay,

guys, hit it!