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There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the wind.
Open road and a road that's hidden. Brand new life around the bend.
There were times I lost a dream or two.
Found a friend and at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken.
Choice is up to you, my friend.
That's a long way she might have waited to a brand new life, brand new life,
brand new life both round the field.
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
Jack Frost nipping all over the ledger nose.
Jeffrey, don't you think there's something just a little impersonal about
postage meter on a Christmas card? Why?
It's got a Christmas message on it.
Peace on Earth.
Bulk rate.
Ho, ho, ho.
Merry Christmas.
Tis the season to be jolly.
Oh, hi, Jeff.
What a beauty, huh?
That's gonna look great all lit up. Yeah, just like the guy who sold it to
This is going to be a great Christmas. You should see the goose I got. You sat
on Santa's lap, too?
You know, Mona, I was going to tell you about my special stuffing, but now I'm
afraid.
Let's just say this Christmas is going to be a festival of Yuletide yummies.
You'd better tell him.
I know.
I'm talking six digits in calories here. Six digits. Have you got a belt?
Open it one notch. In fact, forget the belt. Get suspenders.
Tony. Hey, I'm talking Scrooge would smile if he saw this dinner. If Tiny Tim
came to this dinner, he'd leave Tim the refrigerator.
Tony. I know it's a lot, Angela. I know it's a lot. But hey, Christmas comes
just once a year. And you should see the way she packs it in. Whoa.
Tony.
Jonathan, Mother, and I have been invited to Christmas dinner at Jeffrey's
mother's house.
Oh, well.
They're all so anxious to meet Angela.
And her family. Oh, well, I'm having dinner here.
Tony's got a shovel with my name on it.
Oh, Jeffrey, I have a great idea. Why don't we invite them all here?
Great idea, great idea. The more the merrier, right? Look, I'll tell you
I'll make six kinds of pie. I was only going to make three, but we'd guess.
Tony, Tony, it won't work. I won't make pie. I'll make plum pudding. Tony, Tony,
you don't understand. It's just impossible. You see, Mother's already
caterers. She's hired to help.
Oh, well.
I wouldn't want to upset the help.
Hey, Tony.
Let's go get the Christmas lights, huh?
I have a sudden urge to string something up.
Hey, hey.
I'm sorry.
I hope you understand.
Yeah, I understand.
Are you kidding me? It's Christmas, families, caterers.
Hey, this is just like a regular Dickens story. You know, all you need is Mr.
Magoo.
believe I didn't find a thing for Tony.
Well, it wasn't a complete waste of time. You found a lovely present for me.
I did?
It's on your charge card.
And you shouldn't have been so extravagant.
Mother, what am I going to do?
Pay it out in installments. No!
There's a lot of things that Tony likes. The wallet, the belt, the girl at the
perfume counter.
No, I want to find him something that's just right.
Something that lets him know how I feel about him.
How do you feel about him?
Well, you know, I feel that we have a... But it's not what you'd call...
And yet...
that to the sales lady.
Thanks again for the present. Oh, you're welcome.
You're so easy to shop for.
By the way, Mother, what did I get you?
I can't tell you that, Angela. I want it to be a surprise.
Christmas spirit.
Come on, Sam. Popcorn's all strong. Come on.
Hi, guys.
Oh, the stores were just mud and you didn't have time for dinner. Ooh,
Go ahead, Angela. Finish it. It comes with its own dental floss.
Okay, Dr. Ferguson.
Double or nothing, what baseball player do you want? You know the only baseball
card I really want?
A Tony Maselli.
Did they ever make one of those?
Yeah, they made a few.
The kid and I had a great pose.
You know, I had that face on that said, wouldn't you like this guy to endorse
your product?
Something like this.
Boy,
I'd really like that baseball card.
It'd make a great Christmas present.
Oh, I wish I had one to give you.
You don't even have one?
How can you not have your own baseball card?
But that...
I used to have one, but a terrible thing happened. Terrible.
What?
Well, there was this sports fan, and he was in the hospital.
It was his final wish to have a Tony Maselli baseball card. So what could I
I gave him my last one.
You know, his wife called me. She said, hey, you could have it back after, you
know.
But just my luck, the guy gets better, hits the lottery, and he moves to
Oh, be nice to people, huh? Oh,
Tony, you did the right thing.
Well, you know.
Samantha, don't you think we should go and hang what's left of this popcorn on
the tree? Come on.
Come on. Thank you.
Gee, I can't believe the guy doesn't have his own baseball card.
It's a piece of his history.
That's it.
His baseball card. It's the perfect gift. Oh, Angela.
Thank you.
No, not for you. For Tony.
Oh.
Guy in the hospital, wins the lottery, moves to France.
Dad, you lied to Dr. Ferguson.
Me? Lie? Are you saying that your father lied?
Like a rug.
You held that card. I just saw it the other day.
All right, Samantha, I lied.
And I had a good reason.
If he knew I had that card, he'd want it.
Dad. He would not take your last baseball card.
Yes, he would. You saw him.
He takes cards from children.
Are you kidding me? I want that card in our family. You know, someday you're
going to grow up and have kids, and I want to see what their old Grandpa Tony
used to do, you know?
You don't remember my baseball days, huh?
Sure I do.
Yeah. They had the best peanuts and the best...
They just don't make junk food like they used to. Yeah, yeah.
No,
no, what I mean is, I mean when your old man was out on the field hitting home
runs and turning a double play at second base.
No, you were all dressed alike.
Well, those happened to be very special time in my life.
That's a very special time. You know, sometimes I dream about it.
You know, I think about the crack of the bat and the sun on the back of my neck
and the crowd cheering.
And then I wake up and it's gone.
And all that's left, a few memories and that baseball card.
Right.
I won't tell Dr. Ferguson. But, Dad, the next time you tell that story, lose
France and kill off the guy.
Again, I'll bury the card with the guy.
Oh, nice punch. I like that.
So, are you going to come back in? No, I've got to get Angel's Christmas
finished. Oh, let me see it. Come on, Maria.
Oh, it's coming. Great. It's coming. Great.
It's a little primitive, but this handmade look is in, you know? She's
love it.
Look at that.
Are you sure you read the instructions right?
Oh, yeah. Are you kidding me? When this is finished, it's going to look just
like this.
That's amazing.
Yeah, yeah.
I thought Santa came down a chimney. It's Jeffrey Wells.
Yeah, well, that would have been my next guess.
Can I give you a hand with that, Jeff?
No, I think I've got it.
There's an awful lot of stuff.
Yeah, just doing my part for the retail sector.
Way to trickle down, Jeff.
So, how many of these are for Angela? Oh, none.
Her present's right here.
Oh, that's sweet, Jeffrey.
You love an affection.
No.
Diamond earrings.
Oh, well, they're good, too.
You don't think they're too big, do you?
No, no. Are you kidding? They're perfect.
They're perfect. She could use them to signal passing ships.
So, what are you getting, Angela?
Oh, I got her something great. Something really great.
It's fabulous.
But... I want to keep it a secret. It's top secret. I'm not going to tell
anybody.
All
right,
ladies, what's your pleasure?
We got Jim Palmer in his jockey shorts.
Don't you get, beefcake?
Uh, actually, we're looking for a baseball card.
Oh, but I'll browse.
You draw on it, you buy it.
So you're looking for a baseball card. I got them all. I know every player that
ever was.
I'd like one Tony Maselli, please.
Never heard of him.
I'll give you $50 for it. Oh, that Tony Maselli! Yeah, yeah, he played, uh...
Second base. Right, right. For the... St. Louis.
Berg team.
Cardinal. Right.
I'm so glad. This is so important to me.
Oh, yeah?
But not that important.
Prices tend to go up when one appears to want things too badly, dear. Right.
It's no big deal. It's just a little stocking stuffer.
Oh, you need it by Christmas.
All right, I'll give you $100 for it. Check back in January.
$150. Hey, how about a nice mess beer mug? $200.
What if she just signs over her firstborn?
You know, people don't realize how much is involved in hunting these things
down. How much is involved?
About another $150.
$350?
You must think I just fell off a turnip truck.
I'll give you $325, not a penny more.
Deal.
You drive a very hard bargain.
So how much you want for this?
That's a very rare poster, $45.
I'll give you six bucks. Sold.
singing that obnoxious Christmas music.
Dad, you better watch out because you know Santa Claus is coming and he is not
going to like that attitude.
Sam, I know.
I'm acting just like a Grinch.
But I just can't figure out what to get Angela for Christmas.
Well, what about the scarf?
Oh, come on, honey. It's not good enough.
Angela's used to the best and my wallet isn't. Oh, Dad, she'll love it because
you made it yourself.
You know, it's just like that ashtray I made for you in first grade.
It's not that bad, is it?
Not that I didn't like your real estate, sweetheart. I loved your real estate. I
don't smoke, but I loved your real estate.
Hello.
Yeah, this is Tony Masselli.
Yeah, I used to play for the Cardinals.
There's a guy on the phone who wants to buy my baseball card for 25 bucks.
It's not for sale. Oh, you're kidding. It's not for sale.
Hey, look, pal, I'm sorry, but it's not for sale.
That card is a piece of my history. It's worth a lot more than 25 bucks.
Hey, it's worth more than 50 bucks.
100 bucks?
Are you sure you got the right, Miss Ellie?
Hey, forget it.
Forget it.
Hey, look, they don't print enough money for me to sell that card.
You're like this guy, huh? Wants to buy my car for a hundred bucks.
I'm a legend of my own time.
Well, you told him that. I sure did, I sure did.
Not that a hundred bucks wouldn't come in real handy right now.
See, I could get Angela something really special.
Ah, look, I hung up on the guy. I don't even know who it is.
Everybody's got their price, but $2 .25, that's mine.
Okay.
You sold your card?
Dad, whatever happens is showing your grandkids what Grandpa Tony used to do.
I'll dress up in my uniform and tell them stories.
Hey, here it is.
Here it is. This is going to blow Angela away, huh?
$250. Dad, you always told me it's just the thought that counts.
Yeah, that's right.
I thought, and now I'm going to buy.
Oh,
oh, Ed is so thoughtful. Look, he remembers.
Passion pink is my favorite color. They all remembered, Mona.
A few more presents, huh? Okay. What do you say, James?
Come in here.
That's my boy.
That's my boy. Let me tell you something, Jeff.
I've got to hand it to you. This is Rusty the Robot. What a great gift.
figured he'd be a great help in your work with the dusting and the buffing
the sweeping. Plus, he'll be a fun pal to hang around with.
Oh, yeah, he'll be a great pal. We could watch a game and split a six -pack SDP,
right?
You're welcome, Jonathan. But now remember, this isn't just a toy.
There is a lesson to be learned here.
Ants work very hard. They're industrious. They're nature's little
Well, yeah, but no matter how busy they are, they always have time for a picnic,
Jonathan.
Santa gave me something for you, Angela.
Oh,
Jeffrey, they're gorgeous.
They are.
Well, dear, you must have been very good.
Here's a little something to go along with it.
Oh, Jeffrey.
Oh, a rider for my insurance policy.
Oh, thank you.
Here's another one for Angela. Oh, Jeffrey.
Tiffany's. You...
Spoil me.
Well, actually, it's not from Jeffrey.
Tony? Yeah.
Oh.
Oh, what a beautiful face.
Oh, no, it's a vase.
French lead crystal.
Boy, oh boy, that must have cost beaucoup de bucks.
Oui, oui, madame.
Oh, Tony, it's just... It's beautiful, but you shouldn't have spent so much
money on me.
Well, yeah, but... Merry Christmas.
Thank you.
Here's love for Tony. From Angela.
Let me guess.
A tennis racket.
No!
This is the greatest present anybody's ever given me.
I mean, look at this. It's even bent on the corner like mine was.
Wait a minute.
This is my card.
I mean, it was my card before I sold it.
No. No, you don't have a baseball card. You told Dr. Ferguson that you... Well,
I didn't want to give it to him.
Tony, I didn't realize how beautiful this vase really is.
I mean vase.
Well, Mother, the turkey is just about cooked. Just a minute, Jeffrey. I want
find a really special place for this.
Well, what about my place?
How about right over here?
Gee,
she'll like it.
I sure like it, too.
Angela, you're standing under the mistletoe.
Well,
I guess it's time to be going. Yeah, yeah. You know, there's nothing worse
dried -up turkey.
Oh, I'm sure Jeffrey's mother's a very nice person.
No, I think there's another person in the car with your name on it. Oh,
you shouldn't.
Merry Christmas. Have a good night, everybody.
Bye, Jonathan.
Bye, Jeffrey. Have a good dinner, everybody, and Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Well, what do you say? Who's ready for a great Christmas dinner?
What are you standing there? Clean this place up.
Merry Christmas to you, too.
God bless us, everyone.
Jonathan is nestled all snug in his bed while visions of sugar plums dance in
his head.
Sure it's not ants?
fun at Jeff's? Oh, the entertainment was spectacular.
Twelve drummers drumming, eleven pipers piping, ten lords leaping.
Do you have any aspirin? Yeah, sure.
Let me ask you a question. How'd they do the maids of milk? Never mind.
Anyway.
Hey, uh, so?
How was your dinner?
Turkey was a little dry.
to taste at our goose.
It was so juicy.
Oh!
Would you like a little taste? No, thank you.
You sure? A little taste?
Okay, a little taste.
Aha, here she is.
Here she is.
Sit down. Oh, let me ask you a question.
How is the stuffing?
Well, it's a little bland.
Mother Wells is on a low -sodium diet.
Ah, poor thing.
room for a little myself. There you go.
Have some of this. A little of this.
Some more of this.
And a little of this.
A couple of potatoes.
Tony, enough.
That's enough.
Do you have any cranberry sauce?
Just happen to have some right here. Hey, there you are.
Close your eyes and make a wish.
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