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There's a time for love and a time for living. Take a chance and face the
Open road and a road that's hidden. Brand new life around the bend.
There were times I lost a dream or two.
Found the trail and at the end was you.
There's a path you take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my
friend. Nights are long, but you might awaken to a brand new life. A brand new
life. A brand new life.
that letter coming? I just finished it. It's absolutely perfect. Not one typo.
You know, Mother, I've been thinking. Uh -oh.
Cordially is too cordial. No.
Cordially is just cordial enough.
No, we should make it more sincere.
Sincerely.
Well, you're probably right. Cordial is fine.
Swish. Two points.
You know the worst thing about working for Angela?
Typing? No.
Angela.
Come on now, Mona. She's a great boss.
Tony, I'm taking a client out to dinner at the club tonight. Could you go to the
cleaner, pick up my gray suit, make sure the car has gas in it, the battery has
whatever you put in it, and have it back by 5 .30. What a slave driver.
Mother, I need a copy of the Brightview lighting prospectus, the media plan, and
there's only one D in dear.
Angela, you'd make fun of a person with a typing impediment?
Hey, Angela,
I think it's great. I think it's great that you're branching out, you know? You
have your own agency now.
You have your own office. Why don't you work there?
I do work there.
We work everywhere. We work in the car, on the way to the train. We work on the
train, on the way to the office. Yesterday, she followed me into the
room with a dictaphone.
I couldn't help it. I got inspired.
Mother, mother, where are you going? You have to finish this letter.
Dear Angela, take a hike.
Cordially, Mother.
Make that sincerely.
Tuesday, but I always get the easy ones wrong.
It's Report Card Day!
Oh, I love Report Card Day. He always comes home with straight A's. Makes me
proud.
Angela, why don't you put a little pressure on the kid? What if he didn't
straight A's?
You're right.
Sweetheart, I want you to know that the grades aren't important.
You tried your best, and that's what matters.
What did you get?
Don't you have something to show me?
Oh, yeah, my new shirt. I borrowed it from Marcy.
Well, it's very nice.
But I was thinking about something else.
Hmm, I wonder what that could be.
Well, let's see. Let me give you a hint.
It should have an A in it.
If it had four B's and a C, it'd be closer.
A C?
What did you get a C in?
Sex education.
C's good.
give you this.
Oh, letter from the teacher.
See what wonderful things she has to say about you.
Oh, dear.
What's the matter?
Hey, what happened? What, you getting a fight in the playground, pal?
Uh -uh. I don't even go on the playground.
Well, that's what your teacher says. She seems to think you're a little too
serious.
She seems to think that an extracurricular activity would broaden
Hey, that's great. That's a great idea.
You could join a team after school.
You mean a sports team?
No, Angelo, the 6 o 'clock news team.
Of course a sports team, you know.
Fresh air, exercise, urine test.
Let me see.
How about softball? I can't hit.
How about soccer?
I can't kick.
Basketball, you get stepped on.
Tony, he needs to go out for something he's going to be good at.
Oh, well, there's a lot of exercise in chess. I mean, you could tap your finger
till the other guy makes his move.
Well, at least you've never heard of a serious chess accident.
Oh, that's because you've never seen chess played in Brooklyn.
Say this one time. One time I remember this guy, Morty Gunther, right? He's
sitting on a stoop. Very intense chess game, right? Just then, a garbage truck
goes out of control, hits a fire hydrant. The fire pump shoots water
street. It's Morty right in the face. Almost drowns him, and you say chess
dangerous. Ha!
Gymnastics. That's a good one. You know, I seen you do a pretty good roll the
other day. I know you tripped over Grover, but hey, you landed on your
Almost.
Tony, he's not cut out for that kind of thing.
Angela, what do you know about gymnastics?
Well, I know it's usually not done with a dog.
Oh, that's because you've never seen gymnastics played in Brooklyn.
Remember this one time, Sister Maria Pacifica, right? Her habit in the St.
Bernard was like... Tony.
May I speak to you in the kitchen, please?
Jonathan, this is a great story. I'll finish it when I get back.
What? What? I don't think you should be encouraging Jonathan to take up
gymnastics. Oh, Angela, let me tell you something.
Is this about Brooklyn?
No, it's not about Brooklyn. But just about this time, little boys start
into two distinct categories.
On your one hand, you've got your well -rounded athletic kids.
And on the other hand? There's Jonathan.
What is that supposed to mean? Don't get me wrong. He's a great kid. He's a
great kid. It's just that he's sort of... Well, he's kind of... What are you
trying to say?
Angela, please, sit down here.
Have a seat.
I didn't want to have to be the one to tell you this, but are you familiar with
the term wimp?
My son is not a wimp.
The mother's always the last to know.
Bye. Is it because a boy is well -behaved, intellectual, and a little
uncoordinated, people call him a wimp?
Because that's what wimp means.
Well, I refuse to accept that kind of stereotyping. By that standard, one
say that Einstein was a wimp. Did you ever see him run, Angela?
I'm only kidding, I'm only kidding. It's not that the kid can't win a Nobel
Prize, but...
Sports would be good for him.
Well, what if it's not?
I mean, what if he can't do it? What if the other boys laugh at him? What if he
gets athlete's foot?
That's all part of growing up. Give him a chance. Hey, look, he might surprise
you. You know, after all, he does have one of the best personal trainers in the
field.
Who?
Two.
Three, four, five. I hate to see a kid suffer.
Knock, knock, knock.
Lady in the locker room.
Hey.
Mom.
What are you doing here?
This is a guy place.
Well, I came to see how my guy was doing. Well, let me just tell you about
guy. He's making some big strides, huh? Well, he's making some little strides,
but he's making a lot of them.
Go ahead, show your mother what I taught you.
No, no, no.
I meant the rings.
Stand back.
Hello.
All right.
Okay, remember now.
Keep your balance.
Pay your concentration.
Hold on to your shorts.
Oh, my God. He's upside down.
He's supposed to be.
Well, then he's doing great.
Hey, Jonathan, you look pretty good. Pretty good? He was perfect. He was
perfect. He's going to be the best gymnast on the team.
We're going to trash those corpse on Saturday.
That's locker room talk.
Do you want to hear some more Tony topics?
No, I think that's great.
Did you say Saturday?
Oh, yeah, yeah. That's what we're taking on the Wilton Warriors.
Oh, dear. I have to be in Hartford on Saturday.
It's our first meet.
Well, you know that I'd change the meeting if I could, but now that I'm on
own, I just have to work twice as hard to beat the bigger agencies.
You understand, don't you, honey?
No.
I understand, Mom. Go get him.
You too, sweetheart.
You know what?
Even though I'm not going to be there, you're going to make me so proud.
I know that Jonathan Bauer is going to be the best gymnast there, right?
Right.
Goodness, you're all sweaty.
Yeah, and he smells, too.
Pop -pops. I got the Gatorade and the equipment bag. We got everything. Let's
go. Come on. Okay.
Jonathan!
Are you guys ready to go yet?
Yeah. Hey, you're looking pretty good there, champ.
My headband's kind of tight.
Oh, well, that's because it's a wristband.
work is never done.
Tony, do you think I'll do okay?
Oh, you're going to do great. Are you kidding me? You're going to twist and
twirl, flip and run, show them the first way, number one. Go, Muscats! Yeah!
Get in the car.
Oh, great. Just turn a little sideways.
Okay. No, no, not that far. All right, come on in. Straight, straight.
Here we go.
Here, here. Okay, watch your step down.
All right.
Okay, okay, I got you.
Okay, all right.
Okay. Well,
does it hurt, honey?
Only when I bump into things.
I see what you mean.
Come on, Jonathan. Your shoulder's going to be good as new. Hey, take a look at
this nose. I broke this nose two times and I could still smell.
Yeah, when I was a kid, I broke my finger. I could still dial.
I once fractured my pelvis.
And she could still dance.
That's right. All night long.
Then would you like some ice cream?
How about a piece of cake?
Candy?
Cash?
Did they check for head injuries?
I really messed up. Oh.
You didn't mess up, but why would you do that? That hard dismount that you've
never tried before.
Well, I was behind in points. There was no other way I could win.
Well, you did it. a great flip and a half. You just landed on the wrong half.
Yeah, you'd have come out just fine if you started on your head.
Yeah, yeah.
And look at the bright side. You're all set if you want to make a right -hand
turn.
See?
See, things could be a lot worse today, aren't they?
I'm home.
Like now.
Hi, Angela.
How'd it go?
Terrible. I didn't get the account.
Oh, are you kidding me? You sent them dozens of letters. You called them every
day. You drove all the way up there on a Saturday. You hounded them for weeks.
What happened?
They said I was too pushy.
Go figure.
Well, I guess you win some, you lose some. Oh, how was the meet?
Well, you win some, you lose some.
Oh, Jonathan lost.
Poor thing.
Yeah, well, that's kind of the good news.
Well, he's all right, isn't he? Oh, yeah, he's fine. Nothing to worry about.
Now.
Where is he?
Well, he's in the kitchen. But please, let me explain so that you don't go in
there and... Do that.
Oh, baby.
What happened?
What is this?
It's a piñata, Angela.
See, Angela, he broke his shoulder.
But the doctor said he's going to be fine. He's going to be out of his cast
six weeks. Six weeks?
Six weeks. Do you know how long six weeks is to a child?
42 days.
See, Angela, after all he's been through, he still remembers his
tables.
Sweetheart, I want you to tell me all the details.
Angela, I'm not so sure you want to hear this. I know I don't. The experts say
that you should not keep a traumatic experience locked inside of you. Now you
tell Mommy all the details.
Okay.
Well, I was doing this really hard dismount, and I smashed into the mat
real hard, and I heard my bones crack real loud.
It's like when you put the chicken bones in a disposal.
I see.
Well, the next thing I know, I'm on this metal table, and the doctor's sticking
this long, skinny needle all the way into me.
See that? The experts say that's supposed to give you a lunch locked up
Darling, it sounds like a horrible experience.
Yeah, and then there was this other guy.
Why don't I take you upstairs so you can lie down?
I don't want to lie down.
Well, I do.
Sweetheart, you go upstairs with Grandma. Mommy will be up in a minute.
doctor took care of you. You're going to be just fine.
Is there anything you need?
A bigger watch band.
Follow that arm.
Well, all's well that ends well. Don't you even speak to me. You...
I know. It's all my fault.
You were supposed to look after him. I know. I know. I let him down real hard.
But look, I broke him. I'll fix him. I know exactly what I'm going to do. I'm
going to drive him to the doctor.
I'm going to take him to school. I'm going to carry his books. I'm going to
his homework. I'll even feed his lizards.
Not that big green one, though. He's got a bad attitude.
You think that's going to make up for it?
All right. I'll feed the green one, too.
If you want me, I'll be out in the garage looking for bugs.
Mother. Mother, what are you doing with the plant stand?
I had to have something to prop up the kid's arm.
My poor baby.
Well, at least he's got something to hang his clothes on now.
You know, I may just never forgive Tony for this. Tony?
Why? What did he do?
He talked me into letting Jonathan do this. He pushed him beyond his limits.
never should have let him compete if he wasn't ready. He was ready.
He just tried too hard.
Well, then he was just too competitive, doing those flip things and those half
-watcher mabobs, and we all know whose fault that was.
Yeah, yours.
Mine? Well, I wasn't even there.
No, you were off in Hartford trying to beat out the competitors, trying to be
the world's best advertising mabob.
What is that supposed to mean?
Angela, who do you think that Jonathan looks up to?
You.
Really? Yeah.
Astounding, isn't it?
Look, Angela, he sees that you always have to be the best.
So he feels that he's always got to be the best.
So you'll be proud of him.
Mother.
I would be proud of him no matter what he did.
Well, don't tell me.
Tell him.
She already did.
Sweetheart, come here.
We both push too hard.
And that's not good for either one of us.
You don't always have to be the best.
Just happy.
And in one piece.
You understand what I'm saying?
Yeah. But I wish you would have told me yesterday.
I'm really sorry about that leg, but you're not going to need it where you're
going.
Hi.
What are you doing?
I'm looking for Mr. Goodbug.
I tucked Jonathan in.
Well, most of him.
How's he doing?
Oh, he's fine.
I want to apologize.
It's not your fault that Jonathan got hurt.
My son is driven because I'm driven. And, well, it's very clear to me now.
Had a talk with Mona, huh? Yeah.
And from now on, I'm not going to be perfect.
And I'm not going to expect everybody around me to be perfect.
Wow, wow, yeah. So that means I could burn dinner.
Absolutely. It's okay if I let one of these spiders out and he's crawling up
your leg.
I got them all.
You know, I always wondered what it would be like to go for the gold.
Yeah?
Why don't you hop up there and see?
No!
Tony!
Couldn't. I'm not dressed for it. I mean, besides, you need a net or
don't you?
I don't need a net or something. Come on. You'll be fine.
No.
Come on. You wanna.
Come on, come on, take off your shoes.
Come on.
All right, okay, grab on those rings. All right. Okay, now remember, now just
concentrate when you're up there, okay? You ready?
All right.
Now, now, you got it?
You're fine?
Okay, I'm tired, I'm going to bed.
One more thing.
Thank you.
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