All language subtitles for Whos The Boss s02e26 Charmed Lives
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1
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There's more to life than what you're
lit. Take a chance and face the wind.
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Open road and a road that's hit. Brand
new life around the bend.
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There were times I lost a dream or two.
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Found a trail that at the end was you.
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There's a path we take and a path not
taken. The choice is up to you, my
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00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:36,190
Nights are long, but you might awake.
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Grand life, grand life, grand life
around the bend.
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Okay, okay, keep your shirt on. She'll
be right out.
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Come on, Angela.
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The taxi's here. It's not going to wait
all day.
11
00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:05,900
They'll wait, Mona. You got the money.
They got the time.
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Tony, did you pack me a warm sweater? It
gets nippy in San Francisco this time
13
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of year. I packed you a warm sweater.
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Did you pack me a nightgown? Your
flannel PJs, the snuggly ones with the
15
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This is very business trippy.
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You're right, Angela. Don't wear them to
meetings.
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I'm off.
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Goodbye, Mother.
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Bye. Goodbye, Tony.
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Angela, aren't you forgetting something?
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Goodbye, Tony.
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No, Angel, not goodbye, Tony. This.
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Oh, that.
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Who is that enormous woman?
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That's Celeste Louise, my cousin.
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Oh, well, you know what they say. The
camera always adds 30 pounds.
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Come on, now. Look at that face.
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Look at those cheeks.
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They're not that big when she's not
eating.
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Angel. She'd be the perfect model for
that Italian foods account.
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I've already got the model, thank you.
That's what this meeting in San
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is all about.
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I'm telling you now, Celeste Louise,
she'd be perfect. She loves Italian
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She doesn't look like a picky eater.
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It's not the image we want to project.
Thank you. Goodbye.
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Angela, are you kidding me? Wait a
minute. You don't like this cousin? I
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another cousin.
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She's half as heavy. Of course, she's a
little shorter.
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A guy who's sure.
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Am I sure?
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Mr. Vianelli, I've been in the PR
business for, well, long enough to rent
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pretty nice furniture.
43
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Now, Angela here has done a real swell
job with the ad campaign, but now we're
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into Mickey Day territory.
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Public relations.
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I'm going to peel your Princess Vianelli
off your label and stuff her right into
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the hearts of pasta lovers everywhere.
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I'm paying you, right?
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Not enough.
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Because I found the perfect princess.
51
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And her name is... Are you ready for
this?
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I'm going to count to three.
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Joyce Columbus.
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Yellow.
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Angela's here.
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You can go in. Thank you. Thank you. You
sit.
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But I've been waiting all morning to see
Mr. Day.
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Mickey stepped out.
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I'm very sorry.
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Angie, damn glad to see you. Hello,
Mickey.
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I'm insincere.
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I'm Angela Bauer.
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Ah, Miss Bauer, a pleasure to finally
meet you. I love your campaign, those
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billboards. Who is Princess Vianelli?
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Genius. Thank you.
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Mickey was telling me how he found this
Joyce person.
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Oh, he found her.
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It was one of those freak things.
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I looked everywhere, and finally I
turned around, and there she was.
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Sitting in my office.
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Talk about luck.
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But I made an appointment.
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See? Nine o 'clock.
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Does it say A .M.? Yes.
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Now it doesn't.
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Sit.
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I'm Joyce Columbus.
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Who? I'm Princess Vianelli.
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I'm here for the final interview.
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That's just a formality.
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Touché.
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Take a seat.
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I'm here for a very big interview.
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Me too.
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Really?
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Great. Great.
87
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Nice outfit.
88
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Size six, right? Right. Me too.
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Isn't it a pain? You have to starve,
work out, starve some more.
90
00:05:11,450 --> 00:05:15,350
Well, I really don't believe in dieting.
Ah, you don't have a lot of friends, do
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00:05:15,350 --> 00:05:16,350
you?
92
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Yeah, it's a lot of pressure, these
interviews.
93
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I'm great with pressure. The best.
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This is my first time out as a
photographer.
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Photographer?
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Great career choice.
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What's your name? Lauren.
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Joyce, nice to know you. Come here.
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Listen, when I become Princess Vianelli,
I'll put in a good word for you. I
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really need the money. I've been trying
to see this guy for the past three
101
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weeks. You've been waiting three weeks?
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You can't put up with that anymore.
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You've got to march yourself into that
office and say, I'm the best
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you'll ever see. Only I'm not going to
be treated this way. Then walk out. If
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you do it right, he'll follow you down
the block.
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00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:11,010
I'd be too nervous. I'd forget what I
was doing. You'll take notes. Bluff your
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way through it. Works for me. I'm going
to be Princess Vianelli. I'm not even
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Italian.
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Oh, Mr.
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V. Of course she's Italian.
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We even did tests, didn't we?
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Tests?
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How do you test to see if someone's
Italian?
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Oh, you know, the regular sort of test.
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00:06:42,780 --> 00:06:44,700
Actually, Angela was pretty much in
charge of that.
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No, I think you had the test kit that
day.
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So?
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Oh, you know, we brought her in, showed
her different shaped noodles.
119
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Okay, I'll be right out.
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It never ends.
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The truth?
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My name isn't even Columbus.
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Your name isn't Columbus?
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Huh?
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Well, that's great.
126
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Next thing you're going to tell me is
you're not even Italian.
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Well, you caught me.
128
00:07:30,370 --> 00:07:32,730
You're honest. You're straightforward. I
like that.
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Babs, call security and have her dragged
out of the building. Oh, wait, wait.
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My mother dated an Italian once.
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Well, okay, good enough.
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Yo, focus, everybody.
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Joyce, you know Angela.
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Of course, it's nice to see you again.
Mr. Vianelli, this is Joyce Columbus.
135
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Well, how do you do?
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Oh, I'd shake your hand, but I've got
all this mozzarella on me.
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So, Joyce, where are you from?
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Little Italy.
139
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In New York? I know everybody there.
140
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Not that one.
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Another one.
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The smallest one.
143
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The smallest one?
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Tiny, actually.
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Tiny Italy.
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Yeah, there'd be no one there that you
knew, just mostly me and the rest of the
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Columbus family, Nina, Pinta.
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00:08:38,650 --> 00:08:40,470
Joyce, are you feeling all right?
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I like this girl.
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00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:54,670
She has a fine sense of humor. I think
she'd make a very good... All right.
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00:08:55,210 --> 00:08:58,610
I've been waiting all morning. I've been
waiting three weeks, and I'm not going
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to wait any longer.
153
00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:01,550
Five minutes. Wait five minutes.
154
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:05,610
Now, I've got something to say, and
you're going to listen.
155
00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:09,250
Now, I... I've got something to say and
you're... Wait a minute, I just did that
156
00:09:09,250 --> 00:09:10,930
part. Who the hell are you?
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00:09:11,950 --> 00:09:14,750
I'm the best photographer you'll ever
meet.
158
00:09:15,130 --> 00:09:17,210
And I won't be treated like this.
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00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:21,530
I'm going to walk out this door and
you'll never see me again.
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00:09:22,310 --> 00:09:23,310
So goodbye.
161
00:09:24,950 --> 00:09:31,230
And if you think I'll come back, you
can... You were saying, sir?
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That's the girl.
163
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That's Princess Vianelli.
164
00:09:41,960 --> 00:09:46,180
No, this is the girl. This is Princess
Vianelli.
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Oh, Mr. Vianelli, that girl is blonde,
Nordic, very 80s. Everything you didn't
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want. I know. Go figure.
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And then...
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This is all yours.
169
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:10,870
It's very nice.
170
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This is your refuge, your hideaway from
the world.
171
00:10:15,430 --> 00:10:17,650
And occasionally, we like to capture
that on film.
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Like tomorrow, we're shooting the
Princess Viannelli photo layout. Listen,
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gonna let you... Get settled in here.
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Remember, it's your place, so make it
your own.
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Of course, we have to nail a few things
down.
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Sure thing you understand.
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Cute.
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Joyce.
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It's you.
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00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:03,530
Were you expecting someone else you
stole a job from today?
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00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:08,600
Listen, I... I didn't plan to take your
job. I just needed the money.
182
00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,680
I hope you understand that.
183
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:13,320
I understand.
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00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,680
I had a lot of time to think about it
after you left this morning.
185
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:24,120
I looked at your side and I looked at my
side and I realized I don't care about
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00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:25,120
your side.
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00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:29,600
That's it? You came all the way up here
to say that and leave?
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to see what you've reduced me to.
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00:11:37,730 --> 00:11:39,630
I'm a shopping cart person.
190
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This is my home now.
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I keep my clothes up here and I sleep
under there.
192
00:11:50,430 --> 00:11:53,170
You know, you can get in trouble if you
don't take that back.
193
00:11:56,210 --> 00:11:58,650
Let's talk about emotional trauma.
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Becoming Princess Vianelli was my big
shot.
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00:12:02,730 --> 00:12:03,730
Don't you see?
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00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,900
I started out a chubby kid with braces.
197
00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,140
I had to go on a diet.
198
00:12:08,500 --> 00:12:13,240
I took ballet classes, speech lessons. I
didn't always talk like this, you know.
199
00:12:16,820 --> 00:12:19,080
And I didn't even want to be a model.
200
00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:24,140
I mean, I was driving by the Miss
Charlottesville Beauty Contest and they
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00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:26,460
me out of my car and they gave me the
title.
202
00:12:29,860 --> 00:12:33,960
Things just happen to me. It's like I
don't even have a say. in the matter.
203
00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:38,960
Well, then, this won't come as any big
surprise to you.
204
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:40,280
Get out.
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00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,380
This is a big step for me.
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00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:50,680
You see, not too long ago, I had it
pretty bad.
207
00:12:51,560 --> 00:12:55,980
I had a perfect husband, a gorgeous
home, a Corvette.
208
00:12:56,860 --> 00:12:59,600
I'm so sorry, I had no idea...
209
00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:08,000
My life was empty, and then it got
worse.
210
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,560
What? You found the Hope Diamond?
211
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:14,640
No.
212
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:18,140
My husband left me for another woman.
213
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,520
What did she look like?
214
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:24,220
You don't understand.
215
00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:28,420
You see, I came here to start over.
216
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:34,120
At least this is something that I can
call my own. I mean, this is my
217
00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:42,040
sofa my chair my vase and no one can
take it away from
218
00:13:42,040 --> 00:13:48,780
me do you use mousse in your hair you
219
00:13:48,780 --> 00:13:52,720
never listen to me no one ever listens
to me
220
00:14:18,660 --> 00:14:19,660
I'm listening.
221
00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,580
We would like to spend the night.
222
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,720
Forget it. I'm safer on the street.
223
00:14:32,980 --> 00:14:36,360
Are you sure you'll be all right? I'll
be fine. I can take care of myself.
224
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,200
You had to live in a hill, didn't you?
225
00:14:42,700 --> 00:14:44,420
Okay, hold the noodles up.
226
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:49,020
That's it. You love those noodles. You
are mad about those noodles. You have
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noodle fantasy.
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00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,500
Take the noodles out and rub them all
over your... No!
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00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:57,940
Okay, well, just smile at them. You
smile at them.
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00:14:58,180 --> 00:14:59,180
Lauren!
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00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,040
Everybody take five.
232
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,560
How much is this costing me? Take two.
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00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:12,750
Angela, Lauren's having a problem, and I
think it's one of those women's things.
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00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:14,570
Talk to her?
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00:15:14,870 --> 00:15:17,010
Yes, Mickey, I will talk to her. Thank
you.
236
00:15:18,010 --> 00:15:19,010
What's up?
237
00:15:19,310 --> 00:15:20,550
This isn't right.
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00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:24,950
Somewhere there's a girl out there
chasing a shopping basket.
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00:15:27,270 --> 00:15:29,730
And she's the one who deserves this job.
240
00:15:30,290 --> 00:15:32,630
I just wish I knew where to find her.
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00:15:37,130 --> 00:15:38,370
I'm going to take a shot in the dark.
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00:15:40,450 --> 00:15:42,330
I'm giving you one last chance.
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00:15:42,570 --> 00:15:44,650
Thanks. Okay, let's do this.
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00:15:48,350 --> 00:15:50,030
Joyce, where have you been?
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00:15:50,310 --> 00:15:54,750
Later. Mr. Vianelli, I want you to
reconsider me for the princess.
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00:15:54,990 --> 00:15:57,470
That won't be necessary. Miss Columbus,
I'm very sorry.
247
00:15:57,710 --> 00:15:59,870
If I hire you, I have to fire Miss
Sullivan.
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00:16:00,170 --> 00:16:02,370
And at Vianelli Foods, we're a family.
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00:16:02,590 --> 00:16:04,190
You don't fire family.
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00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:05,810
I understand.
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00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:11,630
I've called Melvin Belli. I'm going to
sue you for $32 million for breach of
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00:16:11,630 --> 00:16:12,630
implied contract.
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00:16:13,110 --> 00:16:14,650
Dump the blonde. You got it.
254
00:16:17,270 --> 00:16:18,570
Now, you got a knapsack?
255
00:16:20,930 --> 00:16:23,170
I would have given you your job back.
256
00:16:23,970 --> 00:16:26,250
Woulda, coulda, shoulda, but didn't.
257
00:16:27,790 --> 00:16:29,890
What do you think I was trying to do?
258
00:16:30,190 --> 00:16:36,150
I was trying to tell you, but you, and
then, oh, to heck with you all.
259
00:16:37,410 --> 00:16:38,410
Excuse me?
260
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:40,330
Did she say heck?
261
00:16:41,350 --> 00:16:42,550
I'm afraid she did.
262
00:16:49,430 --> 00:16:50,430
What are you doing?
263
00:16:50,770 --> 00:16:51,870
Making a sandwich.
264
00:16:52,370 --> 00:16:55,070
Really? Are you insured for that? I'm
upset.
265
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:57,590
When I'm upset, I eat.
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00:16:57,870 --> 00:17:01,710
Me too. Of course, by the time I feel
good again, I no longer look human.
267
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:04,930
Well, you're lucky.
268
00:17:05,720 --> 00:17:08,079
I can't even gain weight. I forgot.
269
00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,319
You're cursed.
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00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:14,160
Oh, that's your secret. Never eat the
crusts. May I?
271
00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:16,260
Go ahead, Your Highness.
272
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,760
You take anything you want anyway.
273
00:17:19,260 --> 00:17:21,660
Oh, no. The peasants are revolting.
274
00:17:22,940 --> 00:17:28,000
What makes you think that you can push
people around and entreat them like they
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00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
don't even count?
276
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:32,100
Seems to work.
277
00:17:36,620 --> 00:17:39,800
Besides, it's better than running away
from everything every time it doesn't
278
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:41,040
work out. You're right.
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00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:42,920
And I'm not running anymore.
280
00:17:43,260 --> 00:17:45,820
From now on, I'm going to stand up to
you.
281
00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:50,240
All right, you're standing. Now what?
282
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:52,980
Give me a break.
283
00:17:53,760 --> 00:17:54,780
I'm new at this.
284
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:58,940
Let me help you out.
285
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,380
Here. Why don't you say I'm too pushy?
286
00:18:03,620 --> 00:18:04,900
That's part of your charm.
287
00:18:08,300 --> 00:18:11,040
So, I need the job and you need the job.
288
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:12,380
What are we going to do?
289
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:13,880
I don't know.
290
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:16,960
Are you going to eat that?
291
00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,300
Here, we'll split it.
292
00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:27,880
Ladies, we have to make a decision.
293
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,940
What are they doing in there? I want my
princess.
294
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,380
I knew we shouldn't have hired a woman
for the job.
295
00:18:37,710 --> 00:18:41,990
I'm losing my light, I'm losing my
patience, and I'm losing my peasants.
296
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:45,170
want one of you out there with a crown
on in ten seconds, or you can both pack
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00:18:45,170 --> 00:18:45,889
your bags.
298
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:46,890
I'll handle this.
299
00:18:48,750 --> 00:18:49,750
Mickey.
300
00:18:50,090 --> 00:18:53,610
Ooh, you've been working out, haven't
you?
301
00:18:54,090 --> 00:18:55,090
Yeah.
302
00:18:57,170 --> 00:18:59,950
Listen, we need a few more minutes.
303
00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:02,070
I'd really appreciate it.
304
00:19:02,530 --> 00:19:03,530
Please?
305
00:19:04,270 --> 00:19:06,210
What's the rush? Rome wasn't built in a
day.
306
00:19:11,630 --> 00:19:12,630
You're good.
307
00:19:15,210 --> 00:19:16,830
Um, excuse me.
308
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:23,250
Mr. Vianelli, I, uh, have an approach
that I think... Well, I think we can
309
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:24,250
call it different.
310
00:19:24,390 --> 00:19:28,810
I want you to open your mind to a new
concept in packaging.
311
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:30,090
Please sit down.
312
00:19:32,460 --> 00:19:34,360
Picture this as a photo layout.
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00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:35,980
Lauren, Joyce.
314
00:19:39,980 --> 00:19:41,620
The Vianelli twins.
315
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,280
Twins?
316
00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:52,480
Frankly, sir, I... I think your food is
too good for just one princess.
317
00:19:59,140 --> 00:20:01,520
And with two princesses?
318
00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:06,500
Everyone will assume that your food is
twice as good as anybody else's.
319
00:20:07,020 --> 00:20:09,560
It would be like having two princess
sisters.
320
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,300
Only not be related.
321
00:20:13,940 --> 00:20:19,240
I'm sorry, but princess sisters, two
princesses, it's stupid. I like it.
322
00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:20,240
in a good way.
323
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,080
Not the sisters part. That's stupid.
324
00:20:23,420 --> 00:20:28,400
But two princess models, one for canned
food, one for frozen foods.
325
00:20:29,290 --> 00:20:31,450
I always felt each had their own
personality.
326
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:34,250
And you're not alone there, sir.
327
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:37,490
Now I'm getting two for the price of
one.
328
00:20:37,810 --> 00:20:40,790
Just remember, you're going to have to
share everything. The apartment and the
329
00:20:40,790 --> 00:20:42,250
job and all the fringe benefits.
330
00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:44,390
Deal? Deal.
331
00:20:45,550 --> 00:20:51,090
Well, I'm going to have to rethink the
entire campaign and I'm going to have to
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00:20:51,090 --> 00:20:52,670
get rid of the peasants.
333
00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:54,430
Oh, it's always the peasants.
334
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:01,980
Is it cheap? We get this giant bathtub.
We fill it with spumoni. We lower the
335
00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:03,420
two of them right into it. Okay,
336
00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:07,520
now we need to come up with a schedule.
337
00:21:07,880 --> 00:21:09,740
Schedule? Two girls, one bathroom.
338
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:13,620
Right. How long does it take you to put
your makeup on? I really don't believe
339
00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:14,620
in makeup.
340
00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,480
You know, if you keep this up, I'm going
to be your only friend.
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