Original subtitles

There is more to life than what you're lit.

Take a chance and face the wind.

An open road and a road that's hit. Brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail that at the end was you.

There's a path we take and a path not taken.

Choice is up to you, my friend. The night's long, but you might awake to a

new life, a brand new life, a brand new life around the bend.

All right, all right, come on. Wait one second now. Just let me get set up.

Sam, all you have to do is get this thing running again. You read the

instructions. Come on.

Dad, they're in Japanese.

In Japanese.

I got it. Hold this.

Higher.

The tape is rolling. Let's go.

A little higher. A little higher, baby. Okay.

Mona, coming into our graduation party.

Take one.

Angela, what are you doing here? Where's the graduate?

We're freezing out there. Okay, let me make my movie.

Okay.

Mona coming into her graduation party. Take two.

Go, go, go, go, go.

And action.

No more pictures. No more books. No more teachers. Dirty look.

It does not seem possible. My mother graduating from college.

They grow up so fast.

Okay,

all right. Here?

Okay, here? That's good.

Well,

this has got to be the most exciting moment since... Well, Tuesday night

bad either.

Mona, I'm taping a family show here.

Well, then just shoot me from the neck up.

I have to admit that it was pretty scary going back to college after all these

years. But I do want to give thanks to one person for helping me and guiding me

and giving me support.

Oh, mother.

Dr. Jack Emerson.

Well, I'll support anyone for free champagne.

And no matter how many times my chemistry experiments blew up, you

encouraged me.

Mm -hmm, from a distance.

Hey, that's great, that's great. Now, how about a word from the graduate's

daughter? Oh, no, no, I couldn't. Okay. Maybe just one word.

Commencement.

What does it mean?

To commence.

It's not just an ending, it's a beginning.

The graduates of this class are moving into a world of confusion and

uncertainty.

Yes.

Thank you. Thank you all very much.

So, Mona, now that you have your degree in psychology, what are your plans?

Well, I have the same burning ambition as any honors graduate.

Get a master's degree?

Bum around Europe and try to find myself.

That's good. That's very good, yes.

That's Sam. Keep up, Sam. Keep up. Come on.

Come on.

Well, look, before you buy a travel iron, I have something I'd like you to

about. What?

Plastics?

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Politics. Hmm?

Apply for a job as a personnel counselor at the Hadley Shoe Company.

Wait a minute. I mean, what happened to bumming around Europe and trying to find

myself? You won't get the job.

Well, that's a relief.

Wait a minute. What do you mean?

What do you think? Why wouldn't I get the job? What's wrong with me? Oh,

nothing. But you see, they won't hire you because you're over 50.

Over 40. Over qualified?

Well, over 22.

You're a flatterer.

Look, Mona, I'm a chairman of the commission against AIDS discrimination.

And we'd like you to get the goods on those creeps that had these. And then

we'll file a class action suit.

Well, I got class and I love action.

So, I'll do it. Ah, terrific.

Oh, just one thing, Mona.

Now, we all know that you're over 22.

But if you go in there looking like you look tonight, well... This old thing?

Oh, don't worry.

I'll wear my sensible shoes.

Oh, and Mona, not a word of this.

This whole mission depends on absolute secrecy.

Just call me Mona Hari.

Oh, yes.

Yes. Oh, that's great. Angela, you couldn't have given a better party if

were Italian.

I'm sorry. I goofed up the disposal. I was just trying to help.

Oh, don't worry about it. The disposal's going to be fine.

Just one thing you've got to remember about it. It's on the other side of the

sink.

Angela,

the party was wonderful.

But, you know, You've got enough brie left over to pave the driveway.

See? I told you that imported stuff wasn't going to move, but my sausage and

peppers, right out the door.

Whatever. So, Mother, what were you and Doc Emerson huddled about?

Oh, you know, we talked about stuff.

You know, this and that.

Mother, don't hold out on us. You know Tony has ways of making you talk.

Yeah, Mona.

Don't make me use the fudge brownie.

Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to tell you I've got an interview for a job.

great. Getting a job?

Yes, why not?

Oh, no reason. It's wonderful.

What is it? Hey, yeah, knowing you has got to be something terrific, huh?

Something really exciting.

I'd be working in a shoe factory. Hey,

shoes are good. Shoes are good. What are you kidding me? They're a big part of

American walking.

be the personnel counselor for the Hadley Shoe Factory.

Hadley Shoes? We did an ad campaign for them. Well, don't worry, Mona. They

won't hold that against you.

Believe me, Tony, I'm not the least bit worried about getting this job. Right.

Mother, a lot of other new college graduates are going to be applying.

Yeah, but when Mona walks in there, that company won't know what hit them. What

are you kidding?

Tony, you don't know how true that is.

Well, if you will excuse me now, it is party time.

Angela, may I have the keys to the Jaguar?

All right, but just be careful. It's a very expensive car.

Oh, don't worry, darling.

My date has had his license for at least five years.

Hey, have a good time, Mom.

She is a card boy.

I'm really worried about her. Why?

She'll be okay, as long as she don't take him across the state line.

I think she's getting so excited. about something that may not happen. Hey, I've

seen this guy. I think it's gonna happen.

No, I don't mean the date. I mean the job.

You really think it's going to happen?

Why shouldn't it?

She's a straight -A student.

Not the job, the date.

Angela, would you forget the date? Why shouldn't she get the job?

She's got a dynamic personality.

She's energetic.

And she's a grandmother.

Yeah, so?

So she's competing with a bunch of kids for an entry -level position.

Oh, and her entry level may be too close to the exit level.

And if I know Sid Hadley, she can forget it.

Wait a minute.

I got a great idea, as per usual.

How well you know this Sid guy? No, I'm not calling him. Oh, come on, Angel. You

said it yourself.

Your mother's walking in here with a deck stacked against her. Let's slip her

some aces.

You know that mother hates when I interfere.

Interfering is the glue that keeps American families together.

Tony, forget it. The answer is no.

Mr. Hadley, Angela Bauer on 8 -5.

Oh, thanks, Shirley.

Hey, Angel.

Well, you know what I always say.

Right, Sid.

There's no business like shoe business.

Look,

Sid, the reason I'm calling is you have an interview with a Mona Robinson.

Really? She's outside his office right now. Well, don't let her know that I

called, but I'd like her to have a really fair shot at this job.

Gotcha, Angela. You don't have to hit me in the head with a pair of wingtips,

huh?

That school transcript's right here. It looks great.

Dean's List, editor of the yearbook.

I'd say the only thing standing between Mona Robinson and this job is my

unemployed brother -in -law.

Sid, I'm sorry. I just don't have an opening right now. Angela.

Other than the mail room.

Perfect. It's fabulous with stamps.

Angela, let's lace this thing up.

You have a spot for Howie. I have a spot for Mona.

Isn't that terrific?

Terrific. Thanks, Sidney.

Shirley, send in the lovely and qualified Mona Robinson.

Uh, Mr. Hadley, about Mona Robinson. Well, she's here, isn't she?

Yes, but... Send her in.

Well,

Mr. Robinson.

Mrs. Robinson.

Mrs. Robinson.

Oh, yeah. Sorry, sorry.

Those short naps help.

Well, I've been looking at your transcripts here, and they're pretty

They're damn good.

Had to walk halfway across the campus to get to some of those classes.

That's very commendable.

I see here that you took...

Two semesters of modern dance?

Yeah, I did. Want to see a couple of steps here? No, that's quite all right.

There's not much call for that around here.

Okay, Sonny, let's cut the small talk, huh?

I got the grades, I got the grit, and I got the gumption.

So why aren't you going to hire me?

Well, I don't see any reason not to.

You don't?

You want to borrow? my glasses?

You got the job.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I haven't asked about your benefits, have I? You

got medical? Yes, we do. You got dental? The best.

Retirement? And a pension fund. What more do you want?

Maternity leave?

Oh, look. Here comes Grandma's car.

Okay. Ready?

A little higher, babe. Okay. Okay, right there. Mona's new car. career. Take

one.

There's Mona.

No, it's not.

Yes, it is.

Is Mona's mother still alive?

Mother, look at you. What happened?

Where was your interview? A Turkish prison?

I don't want to talk about it. What happened? Hadley turned you down?

No. I report on Monday.

Hey! You got the job!

Hey, Mona, that's really... terrible?

I wasn't supposed to get it.

It was a set -up. A sting.

It was an undercover caper to fight age discrimination, and I blew it.

the stupid job. I tried everything but the death rattle.

Some snitch tipped him off.

I wonder who that could have been.

Mother, why didn't you tell me what you were up to?

Why? Well, because, because it's very interesting. You know, we have never

had a spy in the family before.

Unless, of course, you count Uncle Ernie, but then he was more of a peeping

What's a peeping Tom?

I'll tell you when you're older, Jonathan.

You always say that.

That's because I'm always older.

Isn't that great?

Well, nobody double -crosses this gal.

When I find out the feek who ratted on me, I am going to staple his lips

together.

If you'll excuse me now, my support hoes are killing me.

Rats, freaks, stoolies.

Boy, you're going to have to stop meddling in your mother's affairs.

Oh, hello, dear. Come on in. Come on.

My, my, my. Mother, you get younger every time I see you.

I feel wonderful and life is wonderful.

Mother, your mood swings are beginning to concern me.

Twenty minutes ago, you stormed out of the living room ready to tar and feather

someone. Well, that was twenty minutes ago, dear.

Stay with the game, Angela.

So you're not upset about the tip -off on your undercover operation?

Oh, don't be ridiculous. There was no tip -off. I just spoke to Dr. Emerson,

we figured out how I must have gotten the job.

You did?

Yes. I got it on my own.

when you think about it. I am trained for the job. My transcripts were

and, well, I guess no matter how much I tried to hide it, the real me just came

shining through.

Well, when you got it, you got it.

Dear,

did you want to say something to me?

Congratulations. I knew you could do it. Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

Is everything okay?

Everything is fine. Thanks for asking. Let's go.

No, I can't let you take the rap for this one, Angela.

I can't let you. No, let me, Tony. Let me. No, no way. No way. Mona. Huh?

I got to tell you, it was my idea.

I made her call Hadley.

You called Hadley?

I spoke to him very briefly. I'm sure I didn't influence him one way or the

other.

Are you kidding me? She went all out for you, Mona.

This girl loves you. Loves you. I'm telling you, Mona, she even hired his

brother -in -law.

Oh, I get it.

So you traded one bozo brother -in -law for one useless mother, huh? No, Mother,

it wasn't like that at all.

Mona, that's not what I meant.

No, but it's the truth.

I didn't get the job on my own.

I didn't come shining through.

My daughter had to pull strings.

Mother, I just...

I just wanted to help you get your foot in the door.

I didn't want to see you get hurt.

You know what hurts?

Is the fact that you didn't have any faith in me.

Oh, wait a minute, Mona.

If you can't help your mother, what's the sense of being a big shot? Yeah!

Oh, I see what you're trying to do, but... I mean, who am I kidding, huh?

I am a woman who was raised to be pretty and to throw parties and use the right

fork.

I never had a job in my life, and I guess it's a little late to be starting

Mona, I worked in factories, and there were a lot of times I could have used

somebody like you, just like you, to talk to.

Mother, come here.

You went out there to prove something about age discrimination, and now you

go out there and prove something else, that you can do this job. Yeah, and

and another thing, if anybody, anybody can prove how great the second half

be. It's you.

Well, that's true.

Mona Robinson is here to see you.

Wheel her in.

Yes, may I help you?

I'm Mona Robinson.

You want to bet, Sonny?

What happened? You look so different.

It's the pearls.

Welcome to Hadley Shoes. Welcome, welcome,

welcome.

Not so fast, Mr. Hadley.

See, I've got a few ideas I want to bounce off of you first.

Bounce away?

Are you sure you're Mona Robinson?

Take my word for it.

Now, Mr. Hadley, when I inspected your factory, I found that there were three

pregnant women working.

Now, you are going to lose valuable employees unless you start a daycare

That's a good idea, but only two of them are preggy. The other one just eats a

lot.

Well, that's another thing. You make a dandy running shoe.

So, what about giving your employees some freebies and a place to work out?

You know, that's a great idea.

Right. And with a fitness center, you could help them clear their minds and

up their bodies.

I like firm bodies.

So do I, Sidney. So do I.

We're going to get along great.

If I take the job.

What do you mean, if?

Mona Robinson does not take a job as part of a payoff.

You know that deal you struck with Angela Bauer?

Well, Angela is my daughter and she listens to her mother. So now the deal

unstruck. You mean Howie's unemployed again?

Oh, God.

My wife's gonna kill me.

Well, I'm sorry.

But the deal's gotta be clean.

So, are you gonna hire me or not?

Oh, well.

Well, I got a lot of ideas. I can take them to Tom McCann.

What?

To Hadley Shoes.

Thank you.

Oh, by the way, I'll want three weeks off next summer.

Three weeks?

What for?

I'm going to bum around Europe.

Angela, it's 9 .30 here.

I can't go to work until I find out.

Oh, you're getting fast today.

Yes. Mother, what happened? We've been sitting here waiting. We haven't heard

what's going on. What's happening? What's happening? Angela, would you clam

and let her talk?

Mona, what's happening? We've been sitting here all morning. What's

What's happening?

You are doing the same thing.

Mother, tell us.

All right, Mona.

There's no business like shoe business.

Where is she? Way to go, Angela. You chased her off the phone with all your

chatter. Me? You're the one who was doing all the talking.

Come on already.

You know, for two cents, I would hang up on you. Oh, yeah?