Original subtitles

There is more to life than what you're lit. Take a chance and face the wind.

Open road and a road that's hit. Brand new life around the bend.

There were times I lost a dream or two.

Found a trail.

At the end was you.

There's a path we take and a path not taken. The choice is up to you, my

The nights are long, but you might awake to a brand new life, brand new life,

brand new life around the bend.

Telling you that's him.

You're famous, right?

No. You're that good -looking Italian guy, right?

Well... Rambo, right?

No.

What have I seen you in?

How about rubber gloves and an apron? I'm a housekeeper.

Oh, come on. You're just a housekeeper. What are you doing in the fanciest hotel

in Beverly Hills?

Well, actually, I'm here with my boss, see?

Her husband's getting remarried. Well, actually, it's her ex -husband, you see.

It all started back home in Connecticut.

Angela, I want to get married again.

Oh.

Michael.

Her name is Heather.

How would you like to come to California and be the best man at my wedding,

little tiger?

Yeah.

Oh, all right. Why don't we all go?

So long, winter coats and mufflers.

Hello, tank tops and bikini. Hey.

Oh, listen.

Tomorrow we were thinking of taking a ride to the beach and showing you all

ocean. Yeah.

Oh, it's not really ours, but they let us use it.

Probably didn't want to get you wet.

Angela,

you know, since Heather and I are getting married and settling down, well,

know how much fun it's been to have Jonathan with us.

Well, you can see how much he likes California.

What are you saying?

He wants custody of Jonathan.

Can you believe the nerve of this guy? He wants Jonathan to come live here for

six months out of every year. No way. No way is he getting custody. No way. You

mean you're really just a housekeeper?

Yeah. Come on, Harry. He's nobody.

I told you he wasn't anyone.

Good luck, Harry.

get you anything else?

Yes. Bring me the head of Michael Bauer.

I'll check with the chef.

Hey.

So? What happened?

Did you call your lawyer? Oh, yes.

She called him. But do you think he was there?

He was in court. Ha!

And he calls himself a lawyer.

Hey, you know...

What is it with Michael? All of a sudden he wants to be a dad so much? Where was

he in the tough times, huh? When Jonathan was sick or when he woke up

night? Yeah, and what about the time he fell off the jungle gym and you had to

race him to the hospital?

Wait a minute, that wasn't you.

Oh, that was Kramer versus Kramer.

If Michael wants to live out some fantasy with a 24 -year -old nymphette

named after a shrub, that's fine with me.

But he can't have my son.

Excuse me?

Got another dumb meeting.

Michael's in for some fight.

Yeah, I just hope Angela wins.

What? She's got a good lawyer, right? Yes, Tony, but in a case like this,

lawyers are at a disadvantage.

What do you mean?

Well, they can't fight dirty.

But grandmothers can.

Mona, whatever you're thinking of doing, I want in.

that tells all about being the best man.

Ooh, sounds like something you need.

That's what I thought.

Three bucks.

Okay.

One, two, three. There you go.

Thanks.

Hey, sweetheart.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Hi, Lee. Come on.

I have to buy a best man magazine.

Oh. Well, could you use some money?

Sure. Three bucks.

Okay. One, two, three.

Don't push your luck.

Bye, Mom. Bye, darling.

Hey, look who's here.

Michael, this hotel is not big enough for the two of us.

May I have a nice tea?

Oh, come on, Angela. Can't we be nice about this?

Fine. You want to be nice?

I'll be nice.

I'll come to your wedding. I'll even buy you a present. That'll be great. We're

registered at Neiman Marcus.

I'm only doing this for Jonathan's sake, and I don't want him to know anything

about this until after the lawyers have settled it. Oh, Angela, did you have to

go and get your lawyer involved?

Yes.

Well, my lawyer says I'll win.

Did your lawyer also tell you what you'd be doing to Jonathan?

Taking him away from school and his friends and everything he's used to?

but I'll also be giving him something.

Me.

Oh, and you just love to find that in a Cracker Jack box.

Look, Angela, look at the facts. A married couple versus a single working

who leaves her son with a housekeeper all day?

Tony is more than just a housekeeper. Oh?

He knows a lot more about raising children than you do. Well, I know

about children.

What do you know about children?

Well, I used to be one.

You still are one.

Sticks and stones, Angela.

Oh, Michael, grow up.

Well, so, the best man has to carry the ring, and you also have to make the

toast at the wedding.

But they're not having toast. They're having little quiches.

Oh, no. No, Jonathan, that's a different kind of toast. This is when you stand

up and you say something real nice about your dad.

Don't worry, sweetheart.

You can't think of anything everyone will understand.

But what about the bachelor party? We need entertainment.

Hey, how about mud wrestling?

I don't think your father expects you to throw him a bachelor party.

But I have to. I'm the best man. I know Daddy will want it.

Well, Daddy can't always have everything he wants.

But I want to wrestle in mud.

Wait, wait, wait. What if I help him with it, huh?

And we'll do it right here. And we'll make it so wholesome even you could

No, you can't. No girls allowed.

Hey, get out of here.

We'll keep it clean, Angela.

All right.

Yay! All right, buddy.

What do you got in mind?

Well, first we need stag film.

And as the herd moves south for the winter, we say goodbye.

to the majestic northern hell.

Hey. Well, that was some great stag film, right, guys?

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, look at this. Debbie does Dallas.

All right, man.

Time for the whippier chuggalug. Hey, Michael,

congratulations. Oh, thanks, Tony.

You're one lucky guy, huh? What a life you got. I mean, you and Heather...

Traveling around the world, just you and her.

In the jungle.

In a tent.

In a sleeping bag.

Well, but I guess it's worth giving all that up, huh?

What do you mean?

Well, I mean, once Jonathan's in school, you know, Heather's going to have to

stay with him.

Well, that's no good.

Yeah, well, I had a feeling you'd see it that way.

Well, we'll have to hire a tutor.

A what? A tutor. Yeah, well, that'd be great. Listen, Jonathan will learn more

on these trips than he ever would in any classroom. Thanks, Tony. Okay.

Excuse me.

It's time for one of the bachelors to go to bed.

Hey, the party's picking up.

Angel, let him stay up for five more minutes just for the toast. All right,

on, buddy. You're on.

Here's to my dad.

I'm glad he's marrying Heather because I like being with them.

And she has a convertible.

My dad wanted me to be the best man.

But I think he's the best.

And I love him.

I love you, too.

And now for dessert.

Wait a minute, buddy. We didn't order dessert. You didn't, but I did.

Maybe not this one. Maybe yours.

When I grow up? Yeah, that's right, when you grow up.

Well, I wish I were growing up now. Then I wouldn't be so scared.

Wait a minute, will you?

You're telling me you're nervous about this wedding?

Hey, well, don't worry about it, buddy, because everybody gets scared.

Not you, Tony. You're cool.

Well... Maybe now I'm cool, but when I was your age... Hey, let me tell you a

story. Come here.

When I was your age, I was the second wise man in the Christmas school play,

okay? You know the one with the frankincense?

And you were scared?

Well, I wasn't scared. I was petrified.

But you did great, right? Well, I dropped the frankincense, and I threw up

baby Jesus.

Boy, was Johnny Drago mad. He was baby Jesus.

So, anyway, the moral of the story is that everybody gets scared.

But I figure, if you keep your lunch down, You two stepped ahead of me.

Thanks, Tony. I needed that. All right, my buddy.

Angela, I need your finger.

Oh.

Here we go.

What did you get them, Mother?

A walk.

Oh, no, that's what I got them.

Oh, well, that's perfect.

Well, why? They don't need two walks.

No, but I need a walk. So you put my name on your gift, and I'll take this

home.

Heather and Mike will need a walk.

Sweetheart, we're ready to go. Let's go, baby. Let's hit it. Let's move it. I'm

not going.

Watch what happened.

I'm not going out in public like this.

I look like a zebra.

Look at that. That's nice.

Why don't...

Don't you get seated, and I'll take Jonathan to find Michael. Okay. Now,

minute. I know you're going to do great out there. All right, buddy?

Go get him, baby.

Okay. Hey, Sam, it's still kind of warm.

Sweetheart, you look so handsome.

Yeah? Yeah. Just like Daddy?

Sam, you're his...

So go find your daddy. He's waiting for you.

Oh.

Okay, ready? Yeah.

Well,

this is it. You all ready?

Well, I'm kind of scared.

I don't have any ginger ale now.

Come on, come on, this is my big moment now.

She is beautiful.

Ah, give her 20 years.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join together this man...

of matrimony is not one to be entered into lightly.

Dad, I mean it.

Jonathan, please.

If any man can show just cause why these two should not be lawfully joined, let

him speak now or forever hold his peace.

He's tossing his cookies.

Didn't that ginger ale make everything feel better?

No. I ruined everything.

No, you didn't, sweetheart.

Everything is going to be fine, I promise.

Mom, I threw up on the bride.

Well, honey, in some countries, that's a tradition.

Angela always took care of that kind of thing.

Oh, really?

Didn't she think it was disgusting?

Excuse me, folks. Could we finish tying the knot?

I have a chili cook -off to bless.

Angela?

In here, Tony.

How's he doing?

He's sleeping quietly now, but...

Before he was having terrible dreams about dropping frankincense.

Hey, don't worry about it. It's a common childhood nightmare.

Let's let him sleep.

I'm really going to miss him.

Angela, we're just going to be in the other room here. Come on.

Tony, I know you don't want to hear this.

But I've decided not to fight.

I'm going to give Michael joint custody.

You're right. I don't want to hear this.

Did you see what I saw tonight?

Yeah, it was great, all over her shoes.

That little boy is so anxious to please his father that he made himself sick.

All right, all right.

So, buy her a new pair of shoes, but keep your son.

Tony, I've made up my mind. Oh, yeah?

Well, did you think what it's going to be like around the house without

Jonathan? I'll miss him.

We'll miss him.

But isn't that a selfish reason to keep a boy away from his father?

Selfish is good if it's for the right reasons.

Jonathan loves Michael.

Hey, oh.

Jonathan loves you, too.

Michael. Hi.

Is Jonathan feeling better? Yeah, he's sleeping.

How's Heather?

Well, she's barefoot and married.

Congratulations.

Listen, Angela, I'd like to talk to you about Jonathan.

Me too.

Angela.

All right, all right, all right, all right, but I ain't gonna watch.

I'm gonna go hang up Jonathan's jacket.

Angela, um, Heather and I talked about it, and, well, I just don't think that

we're ready to be full -time parents, even on a part -time basis.

You mean you're not gonna take him?

I thought you were going to hang up a jacket.

I did. It didn't take long.

You don't want custody?

Listen, Angela,

Jonathan is a wonderful boy, and, well, you've done a great job with him. Oh,

you bet she is.

But, well, Heather and I just got married, and I think we need some

time to be alone together.

In a tent.

In a sleeping bag.

So, I gotta be going.

I got a bride waiting downstairs.

Mind if we dance?

Well, she's at the bar.

You know,

I can't understand Michael.

I mean, he's got the chance to spend the rest of his life with a great kid like

Jonathan.

You should have every lawyer in the country fight you on this.

Don't tell him that.

What do you expect, huh?

Of course he's going to walk away from Jonathan.

He was dumb enough to walk away from you.