Original subtitles

A film by A gang of passionate filmmakers.

THE PERFECT ESCAPE

SWITZERLAND

Gretta's green guide.

It's Greta. I love her!

You know the anagram of Greta, is actually great.

And I think that describes her perfectly.

She is the true leader of our planet.

You should read it. It's really great.

- Seb... - What?

Do you mind just keeping it down? There are people in this train.

Come on, Let them hear some music!

Hi.

Are you enjoying your meal?

- Yes, thank you! - Yeah?

- Would you like some? - No, thank you!

Do you know how long it takes for plastic bags to decompose?

- No. - 450 years

450 years!

So you are not only destroying the planet, you are also cursing the lives of future generations.

I'm just saying...

I hope you can live with that...

Bon Appétit! By the way.

LONDRA, MAREA BRITANIE

Did you arrive? Have fun!

Please be careful and don't take your brother outside the tracks.

Ok?

Promise?

Can you pass him on the phone?

No. Ok. Very well. Bye love! Yes.

Yeah.

Dad sends love too.

Bye!

Had a late night.

This project is taking up so much time.

The boys just arrived to the chalet They will stay there for New Year's Eve.

Great!

- Can you help me? - Sure.

Yeah. Just got home.

Yeah...

- Yeah, I'm just going to pack and I'll be at the airport... - Can't that wait Scott?

Yeah, yeah, no

I won't forget...

Fallen star?

Huh, cut off.

The nanny will do it.

My sister is waiting for me, I should go.

Why do you have conferences on New Year's Eve?

I change it if I could, but you know...

- Work is... - I know

I go to change.

PARIS, FRANCE

SPERM BANK

Honestly, I feel like a cliché.

Looking for someone smart, of course

as talented as possible,

funny is crucial, it's very important,

and what else?

Without any family history of disease

no serial killers in the family.

The way you talk, I get the hint, but I can't be a donor.

Internal policy - OK...

This way, please.

Good day!

So...

What's the most sought-after donor profile?

"The Swedes" is classic, blue eyes, smart, a bit aggressive...

But I don't recommend it.

Long term, those genes haven't been exposed to much light,

might lead to skin cancer or suicidal tendencies.

- Then no. - No, definitely not.

- Anything else? - It's simple.

Australians for height and body shape.

Hispanics for that "sangre caliente."

And Asians for manners.

That's pretty much it.

But for all these qualities

try a French touch.

- Ok, great. Thanks! - Bye!

I'm off.

- Let me know when you get there safely. - Sure. Yeah.

- And say help to your sister for me. - Yeah.

- Don't work too hard. - No, no.

- Ciao! - Ciao! I love you!

Can't wait to meet you!!!

Le Chable railway station Swiss Alps.

Hi there!

Namaste!

- Namaste! - Hi!

Welcome, my friends!

I'm Joel.

This is Laura and I am Sebastian.

I just want to make sure that everything at the hotel is 100% eco-friendly, like you advertised?

Whole shebang 98% to be exact.

We projected it ourselves - 98%?

100%!

98% to 100%.

And this, what is this? Hibrid, alternative fuel?

You see, Laura here, is a climate change activist.

As are we that is why we decided to move out here.

See. He understands.

This truck is gas, But we bought it second hand.

We only use it to pick up visitors, goods and for emergencies.

- I'm not taking this car. It's gas! - Come on.

Come on, I can't carry all of this stuff by myself.

Then you take the car, but I'm gonna be walking.

Good...

Actually

it is this way.

Merde!

- Excuse me, what is you WiFi password? - No WiFi.

- Alessa! - What?

I asked you to book a cab with WiFi.

- Yeah. - Sorry, but I forgot.

- Well, at least I got some great news, you know. - Yeah? What is it?

I went to the sperm bank this morning.

- Already? - Yeah.

We just have to decide who is going to be the biological mother now.

Right...

I have a lot of contracts going on and to be honest, I am quite busy right now.

Yeah, right, your carrier.

Yeah, I'm starting to make real money with it. You know.

It's good.

- It is happening. - It's ok.

I'll do it.

Yeah?

So, what kind of sperm do you want to go for?

I think just classic. You know...

They have someone tall, handsome and funny?

- What about the sperm star sign? - Thank you Can you chose that?

- Ok, În that case I want... Libra. - No, I'm just kidding.

Hello Sir! Thank you - Hi!

Welcome to my small world.

What a day is today, What a rare mood

and it is almost like being in love.

You have a great sense of textures and colors.

You're an artist?

Architect.

It's an art form.

Vanilla, patchouli...

Armani Prive, Damascus Rose. Am I right?

No you are not a cliche. Very good!

It's an exquisite choice sir.

Are you on your way to see somebody special?

I hope so. It's a blind date.

Why the blind date? What are you after?

Oh God... What am I after? What am I after?!

Someone who understands me, interested in what I have to say.

Yeah, I didn't mean to cross the line

but I see vitality sexual exuberance

I'm motivated and inspired by Rubens.

His heighten sense of realism in women.

So, yes... I'm a painter

and I just do this to earn some extra cash

so I can survive in city as an artist.

But here, take my card, you can see all my stuff on my website.

You can always call me if you need another ride. Because I need the freaking cash

I'm never going to look at that.

So, what's her name?

- Rose. - Beautiful.

From the Latin Rosa.

That, my friend, is a rose in full bloom.

You might want to capture that before the petals fall off.

Please stop talking!

Rose?

No...

We finally meet.

Wow, what a powerful aura.

Such strong energy.

Rose?

No. I'm Britta.

Your Rose is waiting for you at the hotel.

I'll just grab your bag.

So... what do you do?

- I'm... - I'm an influencer.

Life style and LGBTQ culture.

- What do you do? - She's a teacher.

The thing with influencers is driven by the relationship between the influencer and the followers.

I have over a million of them.

When you are creating content you have to understand.

How the algorithm works.

Yep.

Teach maths?

Oh, God, no! Primary school.

- You must love kids. - I do.

Please don't start. Don't!

I'm an architect.

- Are you? - Yeah.

Finally some grown up stuff!

- Do you have any cool projects? - No.

- I studied interior design at school. - There.

- Yeah, it is... - You definitely deserve a 10 for that.

It's called "10" because that is the month I was born in.

Oh, Ok.

So you are a libra then?

- Yes. - Be careful what you wish for!

Wow, this is... AWESOME!

Thank you.

Here you can hear the silence.

- So... what do you sing? - I actually compose.

- A bit of rock here and there, some folk. - Ok.

Oh, sorry, Laura got me this watch for Christmas.

It checks the air quality.

Well, ain't that something.

Do you know we have over 60% oxigen în our bodies.

What does it say?

Cleanest air ever.

And... the perfect place to get inspired.

Well, any good friend of nature is a good friend of mine Joel.

Stop it! You're going to make me blush

the last time I did that was in 1999.

I felt asleep in the buff at 30 degrees C.

It was Woodstock III festival, in Rome, New York.

You can imagine the burns I got down below.

Ok...

I was on fire.

On fire, yeah. "Your sex is on fire!"

Please, don't sing!

Why?

Because... because... You have to.

You have to, Rest your voice!

Yeah...

- Bip. Bip. - Come on.

That is the thing with mass production.

We're now, buying 65% more clothes then we did 15 years ago.

So, I'll let you imagine...

Laura, I fell like I'm at a trivia contest, honestly.

Ok, let's talk about your song then

I still don't get why you have to go for 6 months.

Pff.. That's a long title. Not very catchy.

Really? Six months in Brazil to save the amazonian forest?

You can come and visit.

Oh, yeah, of course I can come and visit Why didn't I think of that?

Let me just check my account balance reel quick

and it says: You are broke Sebastian.

- You know you can meet someone else. - I don't want to meet someone else.

Then what is the point of being in an open relationship?

What?

What are you talking about?

What is that? What's a rel-opens hip? Who is in that?

I don't know, we can try.

Monogamy is so old school.

Polyamory is the new thing. I don't care about what is the new thing.

I care about you.

That is nice, but...

We should be inspired by nature.

Plants and trees combine in the most unusually ways

and great things happen from there.

Did you cheat on me?

Seb, we, people, have a lot of love to give.

Let's spread that love.

- Wait, wait a minute. - I thought we were spreading it, on each other

but we will still be together

let's just... let's just explore!

That is all I'm saying.

It's like me telling you to eat meat.

What? Why would you do that?

Because it is something you don't like.

- It is the same as with me and this thing. - It is not the same at all.

- It is exactly the same. - No it is not.

- Of course it is. - It is not.

Welcome!

Namaste!

Hi, I'm Philip.

Your lady friend is waiting for you,

Last room on the right.

- Did you get it? - Yeah.

Maybe slightly higher.

Rose!

- What the fuck?! - What the fuck?!

What are you doing here?

What am I doing here?! What are you doing here?

You're checking on me?

Is this some sort of joke? Did you read my emails?

- What are you talking about?! - Oh, my God!

- You're Rose? - And you're Philip?

Welcome to your perfect escape weekend!

It's too nice!

What the hell are you doing here?!

How did you get here?

Home away from home.

It's very beautiful!

Thank you!

No, this isn't possible.

I have deadlines, I have clients who are waiting for my content, I have followers.

Please, tell me there is a solution. Please!

I'm sorry sweetheart, but why don't you take this opportunity to disconnect.

Yeah.

Are you serious?

- Yeah. - Damn! Our weekend is ruined.

I worked so hard for my career Please don't do this to me!

- Let me show you to your room. - Yeah.

It's going to be ok honey.

What are you doing here?!

- I'm in my room. - Your room?

Yes, my room, I booked it and that is my suitcase by the way.

You're ridiculous! I need this weekend for myself with or without Philip

but certainly without you.

Do you think there is any chance?

Fine!

I had no ideea that your sister, lived at the top of a mountain.

Yeah, didn't you hear? She moved here so she could attend your conference.

Dating sites, Susan? 36 years old, really?

I was once.

You wrote: Funny! Emotionally stable?!

42 years old, sensitive, good listener?

Go on! Get out!

What now?!

That is the problem with only dating. You never get the whole picture.

Yeah...

Poor woman! Huh?

Was that you in the reception earlier?

I don't know if you still have my number. Laura.

- There is no WiFi network here. - Huh?

No, no, it's the IT guy. He just texted me. We're trying to fix it.

I wasn't asking who, but thanks!

Sorry.

What are you doing?

Not now.

Why?

Because

fun first.

Ok...

How long are you staying?

Hi...

There has been a slight misunderstanding.

I need another room.

What kind of misunderstanding?

Something wrong with your room?

Something wrong with my room?

I think you heard everything.

Unfortunately we don't have anything available right now.

The gift that keeps on giving.

This is a complete disaster.

Meet us around the campfire at sunset and don't be late.

- Hei, Seb! - Hei, Laura!

You look good!

Sun is shining, but...

Plastic?!

Oh, no, no, no.

Beautiful day - What is this?

You're ok?

You're strangling the plante with plastic, so no, I'm not ok.

Oh, God! You're not right in your head!

I think we can sort this out.

Look, when you're done with this little gadget of yours, it will end up in a landfill.

Ok? It will pollute the air, the water.

Do you know we ingest at least 5 grams of plastic every goddam week.

That is like eating a credit card.

Is that so? Because you know, I'm a teacher and I don't earn enough money anyway.

Ha, ha, do you think this is funny?

- Can you? - What?

Ease off a little bit please? Everyone is here just to have a good time.

- Try and plastic out. - I can't plastic out, this is exactly

I know, I know baby, but please.

Fine - Promise?

I promise!

I hope that is not an open promise

- like our relationship. - Oh, my God!

Give me a g.

Give me a g. 05:58,970 Hei! Big man.

How much for you to drive me down?

No, can do. It's getting late

and there is a storm brewing - What?

Wouldn't want you to have a mishap on the way down.

Help is a long way off.

Come on!

One bar.

Oh, yeah, here we go.

Hello? Hi! It's Scott, the guy from...

Hi!

Yeah.

I was going to meet rose

something has gone horribly wrong!

No, no, not the woman from the car park.

Listen...

I...

No, I have not looked at your website!

Listen what I...

I cannot see a storm, it is sunny!

It is too sunny!

I can pay you a lot of money! Please, I...

Hello!

Hello!!!

Hellooo!!!

My wife is out there!

She is Italian!

Aaa... this is amazing!

Baby, look! I'm going to have massive engagement with those photos.

Oh! Are you two getting engaged?

Congrats!

Good luck!

We are not getting married. Engagement is something online.

You are getting engaged online?

I can't think of anything less romantic.

You know what, Joel and I...

No, we are not getting married.

I don't get this new generation anymore.

We used to take love so much more seriously, didn't we sweet heart?

Right. Let's put some more logs on the fire.

The forest is crying right now.

Better than all of us freezing to death.

I got to say, I am quite disappointed.

The info on your website is really different from reality.

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Mark Twain.

Enjoy life a bit.

I hope that is fake fur.

Oh, I hope not.

It was a gift from my first Swan Lake.

She is joking.

It is fake, right?

I'm sorry, I don't like fakes.

No... just remember what you promised.

- That's it? - That's it!

What?

Sheets are clean.

How am I supposed to fit in that?

You'll figure it out.

It's not that far, actually...

Quite relaxing.

Nice

quite walk in the dark.

Perfect escape my ass.

Almost sounds like a nice person when he snores.

Merry Christmas! What?!

Ok, everybody... How about this excuse: "The dog ate your condoms"?

That's crazy, right? Anybody?

Ok, how about this:

- "Sex by the fire place and a cinders." - Pops out of it. - What do you do?

Is this an intervention?

No, since we are all stuck in because of the snow

we thought we will play a game together.

Would you like to join - No, no, no.

I got a lot of work to do. Off-line.

Work, work, work always work.

Work, work, work...

Don't!

It's Rihanna.

- It's great. - Just, you know...

- Oh, yeah, you are right. - Just like.

I need to rest my voice, I know that. It's just singing man, it just comes so naturally to me.

- Because this is your vocation. - Yeah, exactly.

I think the high altitude is affecting your hearing sweetheart.

Shut up! Will you?!

Fine!

Ok...

I can join in.

- Hi! - I can be fun!

Fun, fun, fun, fun, Scott.

Are you talking about Scott or Philip?

- Scott. - Oh, yes!

The Tina Fey of architecture!

- It's a good one! - "The thing I hate the most?!" Scott.

Don't particularly like you either.

No... I just nominated you to answer.

What? No.

Ok. Anyone else?

Yeah, I got one. Open relationships.

- Ok. How about another card! - No!

I hate people who think they are above mother nature.

Well, I hate activists.

Is this like a Deepak Chopra sort of moment?

Is someone gonna rebirth?

I hate when people forget about you.

Anyone in particular?

No, I used to be a ballerina

a famous one.

That's amazing!

Great!

I'm rusty.

No, no, can you do that again?

Sorry dear, balerina never do encore.

Ok, let's have another card sweetheart, Joel?

Joel. Joel!

Joel!

Joel!!!

- Sorry! - Alright...

Oh, you know what? Why don't we just stick with the hate...

I hate the narcism of youth.

And I hate emoji's.

You know what I hate?

I hate narcissistic men who are eggplants.

Well, I happen to like eggplants.

What?! He didn't get it.

- I don't think he did. - I don't get it.

- No. - He didn't get it.

- He didn't get it. - Oh, Christ!

You didn't get it either?

Eggplant... it's a dick.

It's a penis.

This was fun.

We laughed and open relationship.

I'm gonna have a shower.

- Enjoy! - I'll make some more tea.

Ahh.. I think it's about time I go do my vocal warmups, so...

Great idea.

Hei, baby!

How do I look now?

Am I sexy as a pregnant woman?

Not now, can we please talk about this late?

When?

When we get back to the city.

What's wrong?

Nothing, nothing.

Come on, tell me!

You just keep going on and on about the same thing and we're on holiday,

we're trying to take a brake, right?

- Do you even want this baby? - Hum?

I have a serious situation here

I have a lot of content I can't post right now.

Come on, please, just answer the question.

Yeah, yeah, sure, I want a baby.

Is the coffee ready yet?

Because I really want to take a picture of it with the snow in the background.

Hei! What...

Why?

- I thought I'll find you here. - Where else?

- Do you want me to go? - Interesting question!

I get back to you on this.

Do you have something else to tell me?

Yeah.

It was my first time on a dating site.

Really?

Me too.

I love you.

I just don't like you anymore.

I prefer Philip

and I prefer Rose

"and they seem like fire"

- fire rhymes with... - Tire maybe?

No.

Or inspire?

Admire, desire maybe - No, inspire!

Yeah, that was the one! Thank you! Wow!

Inspire - Well, I'm a teacher you know, that's what I do.

Can I see?

No, no, it's not finished yet.

Oh, come on!

I work with 1st grade kids I'm used to seeing the worst

and still act like it is a masterpiece.

- Yeah, pretty bad. - I'm just teasing it is very good.

Yeah? You think?

I'm still working on it, I am trying to give it a little flow.

It goes like...

- It's kind of like that. - Nice!

Right, you should do a duet together.

We might do, actually. Do you wanna be our manager?

Huh, that's funny.

No can do, I'm afraid I've got a video to record for the team in Brazil

and I'm looking for help.

You seem to be forgetting something honey, there is no internet here.

I know that, honey.

But as soon as it's back on, I want to send it, let them know I'm still on board.

Ok.

Well, if you need any help with recording, Franky is your man, I mean .. Woman.

Yes, why didn't I think of that before.

I don't know. I go get her.

Well, she certainly seemed comfortable in my bed.

Inspire...

Come back to bed. I still have a little more essence to give you.

We have guests.

So, tuck it away, inside your mystical box until later.

I might be too tired to open my third eye by then.

We did expend more energy then you find in a hive.

You do enjoy being a queen bee.

I dooo

but we have gnarly guests out there

and you need to come up with something to keep it together for the next few hours.

What is it like having kids?

Do you have a cat?

No. Why?

A dog?

No. Why? Are you saying I should get a pet first?

Darling, first you get a puppy.

Wake up in the middle of the night, clean their poop, try not to vomit

then give up your space in bed for good

try desperately to understand if he is crying because

he is hungry or you feed him too much.

Then accept that your white sofa is now a set copy of a Jackson Pollock.

If you still enjoy it, after a week then you are ready to have a baby.

Ok...

Ah, on top of that, you will never have time to have sex again.

Or shower.

Try not to panic if you drop them in the bath tup.

Wait... what?!

Who did you drop?

But there are beautiful parts too, right?

Which one did you drop?

- Many. - Can you tell me which ones?

When they grow up and they leave the house that is when you realize you miss them.

Was it Leo? Is it that why he is a bit slow on the uptake.

That would explain a lot.

Not that thing again - Come on...

I hate it!

Oh my God! You're exactly the same.

I think this is it.

I can't believe you're here. I have not seen you for what? 5 years.

- Yeah. - It's crazy!

I know, right?!

So... Sebastian? He seems nice.

- He is nice. - Yeah...

- No, I don't want any of that on my face. - Oh my God! You really haven't changed one bit.

- It is just a bit of blush. - I don't care.

- Your face will be shiny. - I really don't care

I prefer shiny natural then mat chemical.

Alright.

Oh my God! Oh my God! Are you ok?

I think so.

- I think this is definitely broken. - Yeah, I think it is.

It is one small loss for Franky a giant leap for mankind.

Youuu...

- Maybe... maybe... - Oh yeah

- we should just use daylight. - For what?

- For... - Ah, the video.

- Yes! Yes! - Yes, the video for Brazil...

Yes, this is why I came here.

I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt.

So sexy it hurts.

I have an idea!

- Oh, please, Joe, no... - Don't worry!

This one is a guaranteed succes.

- I hope it's not... - Hot Yoga.

Oh lord Shiva, give me strength!

I'm your mean, lean, yoga machine!

Chef Susanna in the house!

At least I know how to... boil water.

Used a recipe?

Tea, please!

- Susanna! - Susanna! Au!

- Sorry! Is it hot? - It is hot, it is boiling water.

Don't touch his...

- That's a... - Sorry, I...

- It' ok. - Sorry!

Hei!

Hi!

Having a party?

Hei! All good with the recording?

Perfect, thanks!

Ok...

Some vitamins and rainbow colors for my favorite guests.

- Thank you! - We are the only ones in the resort, so...

Yeah...

What have you been up to?

Why? Did you miss me?

Like a hippie misses their pipe.

Oh.. Well, don't tell Joel.

Okay...

Hot, hot, babby! Hot, hot, babby!

- God! - What is that?

Ladies and gentleman you are all invited to a hot yoga class

I love hot yoga.

- Yeah. Me too! - Don't know anything about yoga.

Like you know about being hot?

It's not a competition folks, but it is a lot of fun!

Meet me in the yoga room in 5 minutes.

- Cool! - Cool!

I don't have time for this.

You mean for fun, Scott?

I don't get how come the ring light is broken now?

Low quality materials... Cheep shit.

Thanks, babe!

This was a gift from me.

- Huh?! That one was a gift from you? - Yeah.

I love it, it's my favorite one!

- Hate you! - No, I'm serious it has sentimental value.

Anything that comes from you has.

- Did she break it? - She, who?

Miss save the univers and kill all the fun.

Oh, come on. Don't ex age rate now.

Ok, do you think it's gonna be fixed or...

- Don't think so. - Ok, don't think so.

Oh, well...

Hey guys, so, we are back and today is a hot yoga class.

Yes, it is going to be spicy

and as you can see I am wearing a beautiful outfit.

Hot, hot, baby...

Hot, hot.

Welcome my yogis! Welcome!

The humidity in here has to be high.

Joel! Joel!

Are you all ready to get rid of your Christmas tummies.

- Yes. - Yeah?

Joel!

Are you ready?

Are you ready?!

Joel!

Let your inner Mick Jagger inside and start already!

Ok, first pose.

Standing as an a.

Feet together or slightly apart

stand up straight, arms besides you

and now raise your arms.

Yes, up, up, right up to the Gods!

And lean to the left

push your hips out to the right.

Keep breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.

Hold it! Hold it!

Hold it! You're doing well.

And back to center

and the other way.

Bend to the right, hips to the left.

Keep breathing, keep Breathing, in through the nose out through the mouth.

Breathe, hold, hold it.

Push a little more, yes... yes

and back to center.

Now palms down to your chest.

Let's have a nice, relaxing, breath...

That's good!

Right, now bend over, hands flat on the ground

leggs back

either one at a time or hop back

and then right into a downward facing dog.

The eggplant emoji is a long and purple eggplant that is used to represent a penis.

How bad can it be?

Come on my yogis just the last 15 minutes of pure joy.

- God! - Cannot unsee that.

Now stretch the right heel, and bring the left leg in the air.

Are you ok?

You're crazy

you're crazy.

You guys relax, I'm gonna hit the showers.

STARIWAY TO HEAVEN

...

- What are you doing here? - Me?

- Yeah. - What about you?

Oh, my God, no!

You know what, I'm just gonna get changed and make some dinner.

- I'll have a shower. - Oh, yeah, good idea.

No, no, no, no, no, no... I mean shower with myself.

Not with you, not shower together.

- I mean just the two of us, just me. - Seb, See, stop talking!

- Yeah, ok. - Good.

My sweet lord!

Are you ready for a quickie before dinner.

My darling Parvati,

tantra takes time,

I already had one of my blue buddies

I like the sound of that.

My animal passions are ignited.

- Are you ready? - Oh, yes, I'm ready!

- Let's get down on it! - Let's get on it!

Wait!

I hear something, I hear voices.

It is probably Brahma or Vishnu looking down on us right now,

annoyed that we are rushing things.

No, no, I hear real voices.

Maybe is that cocky Scott mucking around

moaning about something or other.

Hei! Let's not allow him to sully our sanctuary.

Yes!

Oh, oh, yes!

Now, now, focus on my breathing.

- Look into my eyes. - Would you stop talking Joel and come on.

Come on, let it all go Let it go.

Oh, yeah!

My Goddes.

Now, come on, let's go feed the flock.

- Wait! - What?

Let me wash your back in the shower.

Are you trying to get me in there under false pretenses?

Damn right, I am!

- Love you, you old girlie you! - Love you too, you horny old goat!

Get in the shower!

- Hey guys! - Hey!

- Where have you been? - Hell!

Yeah, I guess and believe me, hell is filled with sex.

Really?!

No, no... No!

Alright! Now we are talking.

- Finally some real relaxation. - And 100% natural. I'm all in!

- What is this? - Mushrooms.

Nature's greatest gift!

Ok...

- Alright, guys... - Cheers!

- Stairway to heaven! - Stairway to heaven...

Wow! What a trip.

Forgive me! Ok? Please, please forgive me!

I'll be better next time. I won't let them take you away.

I'm sorry! I'm sorry...

No, don't worry about it! It's...

We will find our way out of it.

- People make mistakes. - I'm sorry! I'm so sorry.

- Please, please, forgive me! - Oh, Laura! I forgive you!

What are you doing?

What am I doing?! You said...

I'm sorry I couldn't stop it!

I'm sorry they took you away from your brothers and sisters

and the holly forest! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!

Laura, you were talking to the tree?!

Please! Don't make me hate you!

Like I hate your music?

Seb, you don't need to rest your voice you need to find something else to do.

Maybe programing...

- Yes. - Programing?!

No, what? That's, that's just plain mean.

No, baby boy, is just the truth.

You suck!

No, no, no...

You're a tree hugger.

Yes.

Hot yoga effect baby!

Hot yoga my ass!

Maybe... this is exactly what they need.

Oh, my head...

That's my wife!

Take of you clothes faster than leaves in late autumn.

Oh, yeah, baby!

Look! You saved the day.

Yeah, we saved the day.

You're so cute with these little...

ALERT Ovulation Day 01.

Tonight is the night.

You're very good looking - I know

- and I'm quite good looking too right? - You're ok.

Can you imagine how good looking our kid would be?

- What?! - Our kid.

Yeah, our kids. You and I.

What... I'm married - I know.

- That's my wife. - I know.

I'm gonna go get a glas of water.

Man!

Go be! Fly away, fly away.

You are the best guest we ever had!

You can come back anytime for free.

What a woman!

I know, right?!

She's... I love her!

- I love her too! - No, I love her more.

- Love her, who? - Who!

- Who do you love? - You.

Only you.

I was just trying to make her feel comfortable.

You know, I think she already feels comfortable.

Now poor me a drink.

That's my wife.

Yeah...

No!

Where's the hairdryer?!

No! Please, please please!

Fire, fire...

Fire!

- Come on! - Fuck it!

- No! - Let's dance!

Fuck it!

Fuck it!!!

Now this is what I call a party!

Man...

I'm sorry! What did I do?!

Shit!

Okay...

Who is going to be the lucky father then?

You, big angry bear?

Man, am I that irresistible tonight or what?

Or is it going to be you? The smartest man in the room.

You think so? Hah, me too.

O2 Level low.

What the hell are you doing Sebastian?

Get out of the way and close the door.

No, no, no it's all good man. It's all good, it's all good!

It's just a bit of water.

- What's wrong with you? - It's not even that cold.

It's actually really cold - No!

It's warm and I'll prove it to you. And you know why it's warm, Laura?

Because of global warming, which I am grateful for!

- No you did not! - I just did, yes!

- He can't say that! - How dare he?!

Fuck, who knew you were hiding such a good body!

What are you doing?

You're an idiot!

No worry ladies, everything is under control!

- What are you doing?! - You're gonna freeze to death!

Ok! Show us what you're made of big man!

You see Joel, it's only snow.

- I can do that! - Water.

Hidrogen two oxigen, it's not like it is snowing shit.

- Come back inside and don't be an idiot! - It's below zero out there!

You know you're not his age anymore, right?

What is everyone doing?!

Oh, no, no way!

Get inside!

- You're such a kid. - He is such a kid literally.

Please!

What are you laughing about? Why didn't you go out there then?

Have you ever read the Bible Scott.

There is a story about a wise man and a foolish man.

I'm the first one.

The Bible and Tantra?

Whoooo! Very impressive!

You...

You're the cause of all this damn chaos!

What? Me? Me?!

Easy, easy...

Bagone.

Energy...

Ahaha... let's dance!

You pseudo psycho shaman!

- Took classes at the community center. - In what?

Capoeira, my friend, Capoeira!

Namaste!

I have watched the karate kid four times.

Enough is, enough! Go to your rooms!

Now!

Can someone take the tree off me?

Let's just leave him there.

You're a really nice person.

You're a nice person.

As you are.

Sometimes.

Since you love me, but you don't like me

perhaps you and I would make better friends.

- Friends? - Best friends.

Best friends.

I just need some time on my own

to think.

It was never your mind that I was interested in

to think about something other than you and the boys.

Have you thought about dancing, again?

It used to make you shine.

I have

and I will

and you?

I think it might be a good ideea if I stop thinking as much.

By the way, it wasn't Leo I dropped.

It was you.

We dropped each other.

Good morning!

When your face says exactly the opposite.

Hello!

Last night was so crazy - Yeah.

Does anyone have a charger?

Do you know where my charger is?

Good mo...

Don't worry, I'm not interested anymore.

- Really? - Yeah.

It was just my biological clock you know.

Well I would put that on snooze sweetheart, it's what I did with mine.

Nobody told me such a thing exists.

Good advice!

Why so serious?!

Let's put up a smile!

- After all you did last night. - Joel, will you shut up please.

- Tough crowd. - Let me make something clear.

- We have no electricity... - What?!

No, no, no, no! Are you trying to kill me?!

There are very few matches left and very little food

and you, know why!

- Surely, we can call someone. - The landline is dead,

and it is New Year's eve so everyone is busy.

Surprize! Not.

Are we going to die here?

Exactly what the last of your neurons are telling you now?

- Oh, that's funny! - You are funny!

Well, it looks like we have enough food for a light breakfast

and an even lighter lunch, but that's it.

No dinner for New Year's Eve?

Oh, darn! We're fresh out of oysters and champagne.

Will you survive?

What did I do?

I don't know.

Oh, so know you're suffering from short term memory loss as well?

This is a disaster.

No food, no coffee, no internet.

No one knows where I am, so I'll lose all my contracts

are you happy?

What, so it's my fault now?!

Cause not, nothing is ever your fault, is it?

You're a saint, saint Alessa.

Pray to God! He'll send you a baby.

Well... you're very ugly right now.

You could have just told me you didn't want a baby.

I think this is very easy.

Like I had a choice.

- You're always trying to control everything. - No. That's not true.

THE HOT POTATO COOKBOOK

Then why have you been on an alkaline diet for a year?

Huh? So you can conceive a boy?

Is that even biologically possible for them to...?

Hang on! Hang on! At least she has a career and purpose. Unlike others!

Thank you!

Oh, oh, ok. Well, you know what? I think it's better to be like me

then to be a sad, little person, obsessed with whatever everyone else is doing with their own lives.

Seriously?! You're bullying me on my height?

- And also, I'm sad?! - Yeah.

Oh, God! Such a mistake to be with a guy. To be with you.

Women just understand women so much better.

- Sometimes. - Exactly!

Like, I understand you. You're amazing!

- You understand. - Oh, my God this is so cute!

Let's applaud the heroes. You are going to save the world with your egos.

But what are you going to do to save the world? At least I'm trying.

- Yeah, you're trying very hard. - Yes she is, she's doing something.

- Yes, I am. - Seriously, and what are you doing?!

- Bot just my own self... - Your own self!? You are in love with yourself.

Are you going to fight?!

Don't look at us!

No, no, we are tired of fighting.

You get wiser with age.

Yeah, you get there at some point.

Oh, just a reminder.

When you die, I'm going to bury you with that.

What? Hang on! Who says I'm dying first?

Yes, because stress kills more people daily than frustration.

But you love your easy life - yes

I was more than what you could handle that's why you kept me home.

- More than I could handle?! - Yes!

Oh my God! Oh my God!

Alright, that's enough!

You two ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

Battling it out here in front of our young friends like a couple of pre schoolers.

Don't you think, it's hard enough for them to fall in love as it is?

We need to be the ones to prove to them that there is beauty in suffering

and that there is no value in striving

for a perfection that doesn't exist.

They're already afraid to commit

and spend their whole days with their faces in those devices.

We have to be the ones to show them that there is power in love.

If we don't, who will?

Why do you fight so much?!

Well don't just sit there, say something!

Look what I found!

Dinner is up!

Potatoes?

For New Year's Eve?!

You're welcome!

- I would rather walk in the snow. - I'm gonna go pack.

I mean, yeah, it's wrapped in plastic, but at least it's organic.

Do you like french fries?

Yeah, I do actually.

- Oh, alright, I'm done. - I can't do this!

Winter service announces storm...

So many colors!

What is this?

Let's see how your followers like this now.

You need to come and see this.

Wait. What?!

That's the t-shirt I got for winning global social media awards.

My life is flying away...

I'm sorry for how I behaved last night.

I'm going to enroll in that anger management course you recommended.

I'm doing this for me

and for us.

You go - Of course.

Do you know how many people actually make it on foot through a snow storm like this?

The emergency services have just announced that the snowstorm is returning

and is going to be here for at least another 24 hours.

Are you crazy?!

Hei! Hei! Why did you throw my things out?

I don't know, maybe the window was open. The wind just blew them away.

"The wind just blew them away."

Two words for you, bullshit.

- Well, that's just one word. - Don't patronize me.

Go pick up my clothes.

Well, since we are all stuck in here, let's all pull together

and make the best out of the situation. Ok?

- Yeah. - Can you help me pick up the clothes from outside?

Joel!

- Yeah, yeah, sigur. - Thank you!

Are we going to ring in the new year with no electricity?

- I'll go check the generator. - Do you need some help?

Watch your step!

If I got a nickel for every generator I fixed...

Yeah, me too.

- I fixed some big ones. - Yeah?!

Yeah.

Well, mostly drew them.

You're such a fierce woman!

That's a nice way of saying crazy.

You know what I mean.

Do I?!

What happened last night

it was amazing.

You understand that I'm much older than you, right?

My only wish, my only dream is to have a baby

I can be your baby - No, don't be!

What you need to be is you, ok?

You need to focus on the guitar, compose

let others sing for you, you know?

Yeah?

Why do you work so much?

Avoidance.

I am a workaholic.

At the expense of my family.

Is that what this weekend is about?

I thought that Susanna would have an affair first.

I didn't realize how unhappy we both were.

Hei guys! Any chance I can charge my phone here.

We're getting there, but it seems to be

not quite...

- What does this button do?! - No!!!

Yeah!

We fixed it!

Good job!

Come on, come on, open up.

Patience is a virtue.

You know, it takes a tree 10 years to be fully grown

and you want everything to just work like that

Patience is a virtue I do not posses.

Oh, yes!

- It is working! It is working! - See?!

No more mushrooms!

Well, not no more, but definitely less.

You are such a goofy old man sometimes.

I missed you!

I would rather be dead and rotting in a worm filled compost

then be without you.

Stop the sweet talk Romeo and kiss me.

So "Namaste"!

- We would never do that. - Never...

- Because you have grace. - Yeah,

and you have manners.

At least we agree on something.

We are friends.

Best friends.

They actually listened to your speech Britta.

See, I told you they were going to at least kiss. Now you owe me 20.

Maybe they should get a room.

Let them love each other.

Guys, guys, wait a second.

Ten, twenty.

This is not a gang bang for the...

No, just go to the jacuzzi Yes, yes, to the left.

Hei, guys, guys

I am happy for you, but this is not, this is not a Viagra commercial.

Go straight! Yeah. Perfect.

You're not gonna start again are you?

- Queen bee? - I thought you'd never ask!

Wolfs?

Seems like there is one caught in a trap.

He's in agony.

Poor thing!

Wow! This is a great looking tree.

- I sense some sarcasm in there. - No, I'm serious, it's great.

It's great.

- "It's great!" - Yeah, I think so...

No, really, I think you'd kill it if you put in on the t shirts with the slogan.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

Yeah.

You've got such an entrepreneurial spirit.

Thanks!

But maybe I can use it in a more constructive way.

What do you mean?

When I opened my phone, and I saw how many thousands of photos I've taken,

I got scared.

I haven't been present

and I've realized I don't know who I am outside of my phone

and it is time to find out

Frankie, this is amazing!

Yeah. I don't know why I did that to myself.

There is life outside of the phone

and I want to empower other to see it

and focus on real life issues.

New beginning.

Sorry, Susanna!

Ladies...

To potatoes!

Candles?

So this is organic?

It's been a while.

Thank you!

I love yours!

Friends. We're good friends.

- I didn't expect it would work out. - Shut up!

Did you touch my bum?

New year, new "moui".

And this one will be in the here and the now like you said Britta.

Congratulations!

- Deep! - I know. Cheers!

Guys I wanted to check, am I still ok to stay with you for a little longer.

Of course.

What do you say sweetheart?

More than welcome - Yeah?

- It is coming! - It is coming.

Why use all that kerosene flying to Brazil when I can make a change here

I would love to get this place to 100% eco friendly if I can.

- Sure, that would be great. - Yeah?

- I think it would be fun. - Yeah...

Plus...

I have a new business plan.

Yes you do.

It really feels like reading parrying quotes on Instagram.

- You're mean. - Am I?

I love it.

Okay...

- I think it is time. - You got this babe.

Ok... listen up everyone!

In order to celebrate and bring in joy to this new year,

I have a little something I'd like you guys to hear.

No, no, you don't have to do that Sebastian.

Maybe you should rest your voice.

- Rest your voice... - Rest your voice!

Come on, guys, guys, trust me It's a song about relationships.

Thank you everyone for being an endless source of inspiration.

Here is: "The Perfect Escape".

Love is hard to find.

Sometimes lost in time.

Stories that will go untold.

Each and everyday

I wish there was a way

to try to let the light come through.

We just didn't know,

Life was our show.

A never ending story...

A never ending story.

We found our love and glory.

A never ending story...

Come one, guys!

- Guys! - What?!

It's time.

Five!

Four!

Three!

Two!

One!

Happy new year!

The end.

Scott!

What did I do?

A never ending story...

And this is a perfect example for a sustainable way of living

as opposed to a non sustainable way of living.

I mean really, Joel? Ketchup, marshmallow... what are you, 12?

And dairy? No!

Let's be friendly with animals. We love them, we care for them. Yeah?

So, this is good you've got seasonal fresh products.

Do you think everything here belongs here?

Yeah, I think it looks good.

No! You're wrong!

These, yes, no plastic, but why use so many

when you could just have one reusable cup.

This goes here.

There you go...

Wood, reusable glass, I mean, this just makes me so happy.

Isn't it good guys?!

Good morning, ladies and gentleman!

Today, the UN is drawing a convention on social media use

and its no secret social media has take the world by a storm

and since there is no escaping we must confrunt all the risks head on.

This is Frances Norman for the QBC.

Good! The babies look well.

What do you mean babies?

Is it two babies?

This is the best day of my life!