Original subtitles

Bye -bye.

Good morning. Can you direct me to Little Bay, please?

Over there.

Turn left at the crossroad.

Thank you.

Looks like rain.

Good morning, Mrs. Peel. Good morning, Steve. The door's open.

Social visit?

That's it. Happened to be passing by. Thought I'd drop in.

The coffee's over there.

Not enough flexibility in the roof.

Weight on the wrong foot.

Friendly advice.

There doesn't appear to be any cream.

The cream is in the kitchen.

Oh.

I could take it black.

Are you busy just now?

Not very.

I've just written an article for the Science Weekly, but that's finished.

Just interested.

Martha's day today.

Certainly not the sort of day to be stuck in clouds, is it?

We ought to get away.

Down to the coast for a while. We?

Why not?

We can build sand castles together.

I refuse to carry your rocket and spade.

This walks along the... along the seashore.

And beneath your feet, the breeze gnatching at your hair.

Have you ever fancied yourself as a schoolteacher?

That was very, very dirty.

You're quite right.

But I didn't promise to fight fair.

No worry about driving. We'll take the train.

When did you buy the tickets?

Yesterday morning.

We'll have to hurry. The train leaves in less than an hour. I'll explain the

details to you on the way down.

And where are we going?

Little Baisley by the sea.

Little Baisley? By the sea.

Why?

It's a long story.

Try the condensed version.

No restaurant car, I'm afraid. We just have to rough it.

Indian or China?

Indian.

You were saying about Little Baisley.

It all started about a year ago.

We got wind of something odd happening at Little Baisley. Nothing specific, you

understand. Just something odd.

So we sent in an agent to have a look around.

What did he find?

He never told us, poor fellow.

Milk or lemon?

Lemon.

It'll have to be milk.

Then a few weeks later, we had to send in another agent to look for the first

one. And a few weeks after that, we had to send in another agent to look for the

agent. He was looking for the agent.

That's the general idea.

And what's the score?

Four. Sugar? Four.

Two.

Ah.

Are you sure you won't have a marzipan delight?

So you can see why we're worried.

Four agents in a row. It could be very serious.

You could run out of agents.

Afternoon. Afternoon.

Oh, I'm sorry. Sorry.

Little Paisley?

You wouldn't be going to Little Paisley, would you?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

Me too.

Nice little town. Of course, I haven't been there for a long time. I've got a

brother living there. Oh, really?

Here's Tom. Tom Smallwood. Blacksmith. That's me brother.

Runs the Smitty, Little Paisley.

Good lad is Tom. Big fella, too. Being a Smitty, a big fella.

Would you like to see a photograph of him?

I'd love to.

Here.

Look.

Oh. Very handsome.

Good lad is Tom.

Got out of touch, you know. Haven't heard from him in a long time now.

Yes. Hope he's all right.

There should be a pub opposite that church there.

Very chilly.

Good evening.

Good evening.

Very chilly weather.

Chilly is the word for it.

Decidedly chilly.

What does one do to get service around here?

Ah, good evening, good evening. Sorry to have kept you waiting. And welcome to

the Jolly Old Gremley. Well, what will it be? A jar or two of the Jolly Old

Splosh, right?

I'll have a large brandy, please. And how about you, Mrs... Peel. No, thank

I don't think I ought to. Oh, come on. Travelling companions and all that.

We'll have one for the lady as well.

And how about you, Mr... Smallwood. I'll have the same. Thank you very much.

Right. Three tots of Napoleon's ruin coming up.

The old 33.

RAF fighter squadron. Stationed here during the war.

Airfield, just outside the village. Of course, it's derelict now.

Oh, you know these parts, then?

No, no, not really, but my brother told me. Tom, you must know him.

Tom? Tom Smallwood, blacksmith.

Oh, Tom is, of course, oh, boy, of course I know him. How's he keeping? Oh,

fighting fit, old man, fighting fit.

Yes, those were the days, the good old fighting 33.

Ah, that's probably the only reminder now.

We used to be in here every night, you know.

Oh, were you here then?

The other side of the bar, old girl. Flying Officer Warren, Piggy Warren.

One of the fighting 33?

The thirsty 33s, more like. Ah, yes, it was all bang on in those days. Great

days. And after it was all over, I just couldn't settle down in Civvy Street

somehow. So eventually I came back here and took over this pub.

Not the friendliest proposition.

Oh, you mean the locals.

Oh, they're not as bad as they look, country folk, you know. It'll take a bit

knowing, suspicious of strangers at first, but basically a fine bunch of

What about the same again all round?

Yeah, right, sure.

You're here to see Tom, I suppose?

Yes, surprise visit.

And you were a boy just passing through?

No, I could be here for two or three days. Oh, that is if you can find a room

for me.

You got business with someone down here?

I don't know. A soul in the area. Property developers, you know. They're

me a roving commission to find some likely building sites.

You won't find much down here, eh, ma 'am? All the same, I think I'd better

a look, don't you? Got to justify the old expense account, eh?

Yeah, I get it, old man.

Loud and clear.

Can you find a room for me, then?

Certainly, yes.

Five upstairs, take your pick.

Oh, in that case, you'll have room for me, too.

That is, until I can find permanent lodging, as I shall be staying here for

than a few days.

Oh.

Yes, I'm to teach at the school here.

Thank you.

Oh, what did you say your name was?

Peel, Mrs. Emma Peel.

Mrs. Peel, I'm Jill Manson, headmistress of the school here. Oh, then I'm very

pleased to meet you. Mrs. Peel, I've had no warning of your arrival here. But

the educational authorities were quite definite.

Um, here, I have a letter.

I think there's no mistake.

It's all in order, isn't it?

But I didn't ask for another teacher.

But you can use one, can't you, Miss Manson?

Brandon. Mark Brandon.

I'm the school inspector for this area.

How do you do?

I only arrived today.

An opportune moment, it seems.

We can't have Miss Manson sending you away.

If the education authority is generous enough to allocate another teacher, we

must make the most of our opportunity.

Mustn't we?

I'm sure we can sort this out tomorrow.

Well, now I'm here, I think I ought to stay, don't you?

But of course you must.

Now you're here.

You must certainly stay.

Well, time I went to see old Tom.

Good night, all. Good night, old boy.

Good night.

Well, I'm in no hurry.

Just off to do a spot of badger hunting. It's more fun at night.

Well, I'll take you upstairs to your rooms.

And that one for you, old boy.

And you're further down, Mr. B. Holmes.

Tom?

Tom?

Tom?

Hole

in

one.

Hole in both.

No hot water either.

As for the sea breezes, well, I shall have to take a couple of reefs in my

bedclothes tonight.

We must be prepared to make concessions, my dear. Back to nature.

Well, you might have warned me. I'd have packed my pot of woad.

Funny, isn't it? Mm -hmm.

Hilarious. They don't seem to exactly welcome visitors.

I had noticed.

Well, united with Dan, we must show the flag. May I escort you to dinner, Mr.

Peel? You may, Mr. Thief. They're what they have in store for us.

What is that?

Nailed up.

Mine too.

Prepared to repel boarders.

Oh, chums. Just in time for dim -dim.

Hope you don't mind sharing a table.

We don't want it to get cold now, do we?

Oh.

Only must post this letter.

I'm passing right by the box.

Glad to do it for you.

You'll find the school quite easily, Mrs. Peel. They're using part of the old

airfield.

Good night.

Bounds in full cry and they were chasing something.

Or somebody.

Badgers? Surely you didn't believe that story.

You know me, my dear. I'm a very... Oh, no.

Suspicious nature.

How's it going?

Not good at all.

Need a master shifter.

Bounds quiet enough out there.

Yeah.

I think our friend Figgy Warren's gone to bed.

I can't get out that way.

I'll choose a more conventional method. I'll go out the front door.

You stay there.

Special experience to move without noise.

Superior training. I can move like a cat in carpet slippers.

Don't move.

What do you think you're up to?

I just couldn't sleep. I thought I might have a night cow.

One of the consumable kind.

I thought you were a burglar creeping about like that. You nearly got both

barrels. You couldn't sleep, eh?

Well, I... I know the feeling, old man. One for the road to Nard, eh? A quiet

little snifter before the old brain box bashes the pillar.

Here, take it upstairs, will you?

Thank you.

I'll put it on your bill.

What happened to pussy -footed pussy?

Isn't it time you were in bed?

You have to be up early for school tomorrow.

What are you thinking of?

Those are our instructions, and you will obey them without... But it's

impossible to take another bath so soon. Nothing is impossible.

Remember, I am in command now.

Mrs. Peel. We didn't expect you so bright and early, did we, Miss Manson? I

thought I'd get into the spring as soon as possible.

But I'm afraid there's very little for you to do at the moment. The entire

school is on holiday.

In the middle of term?

Ah, yes. Well, you see, in a small place like this, we bend the rules, if need

be. It was convenient for us to have the school closed at this moment.

Isn't that correct, Miss Manson? Quite correct.

It permits Miss Manson to make a few alterations.

Yes, a new gymnasium to be laid out.

Perhaps I can help.

Surely Mrs. Peel would be best employed in working out her class schedules.

And when school recommences, you'll be completely prepared.

Yes, that's an excellent idea, Mrs. Peel.

As you wish.

We must be careful.

We nearly mishandled that.

Like that ugly business on the beach last night.

ahead of the rush.

Solitude. Very good for the soul.

Relaxing. I've just been down at the school.

Something very odd going on there.

The thought of this?

A dozen pairs of feet.

Hmm, big feet. Leading straight up out of the sea.

Turtle. Sea mare.

Mermaid.

You must know some very strange mermaids.

Wearing boots.

Mermen.

Boots.

Indeed, there are about a dozen pairs of boots out at the school.

Oh, they're pretty hefty pupils.

Well, that's just it.

Miss Manson says the school's empty. All the pupils are on holiday.

Surely it's term time.

Hmm, I mentioned that. She was very devious.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Well, I've been surveying the countryside.

All the tractors are all stopped.

Plows rusting in the furrows. All is not as it should be.

By the way, did you check the whole school?

No, I tried to.

Brandon and Miss Manson made quite sure.

I think it's the shoe.

There's two shoes.

And they're inhabited.

Brother Tom.

Mr. Smallwood?

Yeah, what can I do for you?

It's about your brother.

Jimmy?

What about him? We wondered if we might have a word with him.

You friends of Jimmy?

Not exactly.

Acquaintances, really. We met on the train coming down. We sort of half made

arrangement to have a drink together.

So if you could tell him we're here.

He's not here.

He's gone.

But we understood he'd be staying down here for a few days.

He had to go back to London.

Urgent business, he said. Left first thing this morning.

Oh, he took the early train out of here.

There is no early train out of here.

He borrowed my car.

I see. Well, I'm very sorry to trouble you.

Under the spreading chestnut tree, the village smithy stands.

Except that he doesn't, and he wasn't Tom Smallwood. Not even remotely like

Now, who'd want to impersonate a simple village blacksmith? And why?

And where have all the people gone?

I haven't seen a postman, a milkman, a paperboy all day. I haven't seen a

solitary soul.

Well, there were some of the locals in the pub last night.

Armed for badger hunting.

And all wearing gumboots. I think I'll take a look at the airfield.

Where have all the people gone?

Parish records.

Local church.

Got bats in my belfry, you know.

I mean, quite literally, up there. Bats. Can't shift them.

Amesbury. Jonathan Amesbury. I'm the vicar here. Mrs. Peel.

Delighted to meet you.

Yes, bats, woodworm, death watch, beetle. We have all sorts of wildlife

We haven't met before, have we, Mrs. Peel? No, I only arrived yesterday.

I'm the teacher of the school here.

Oh, splendid.

Then welcome to Little Baisley. You'll like it here. I'm sure I will.

What can I do for you, Mrs. Peel?

Well, I'd like to know more about the village.

Oh? I thought I'd start the class off with an essay on the history of Little

Baisley.

Well, I can't help you very much, I'm afraid.

I'm very new to this parish myself.

Almost as much of a stranger as you, really.

But surely the parish records might tell us something. I mean, that is, unless

you mind my browsing through them.

Browse all you wish, Mrs. Peel. They'll be in the bedroom.

Oh, dear, it's those mice again.

Uh, this way.

They're not in any sort of order, and as you can see, they haven't been touched

for years.

Oh, I do beg your pardon, but you're very welcome.

Thank you.

You don't happen to sing contralto, do you, Mrs. Beale?

The choir, you know. I desperately need a contralto.

No, sorry.

I'm definitely top line.

Oh, well, that's fine.

Perhaps I shall see you again amongst my little flock, eh?

The congregation isn't large at the moment. Not large, but it's building up

nicely.

Mr. Amesbury?

Yes? This covers the last 20 years in this parish.

Yes.

No, good. I'm finished.

Don't talk. I must talk.

Give warning.

Below. Below. I must talk. Give warning.

Warning of what?

Who are you? Brandon.

Mark Brandon.

School suspect.

I found out too much.

Look.

Below. Below.

Below? Quick, get away.

Oh, no use.

No use.

Mr. Ainsbury. Mrs. Peel. I've got something I want to show you. Oh, not

dear lady. I'm just about to take... It's very important, and it won't take a

minute. Very well. Now, this photograph.

I found it at school.

Yes, well, I really don't... It's an end -of -term photograph, and it says here,

Headmistress Miss Jill Manson.

And there she is, right in the middle.

Now, that isn't the Miss Manson we know, is it?

Hmm? No.

What about all the other masters? Are they all important?

Well, I haven't met them, but perhaps you can tell me. What about...

This one here, and this one, and this one.

Yes.

Yes, yes, all of them.

Hattie.

But then, um, you're an imposter too, aren't you, Mrs. Peel?

I mean, all this schoolmistress business, it was all make -believe,

Oh, but I had to.

Oh, please don't apologize.

Not to me.

I know the importance of make -believe.

Now, Mr. Avery, you wouldn't use that, would you?

Not during choir practice.

A

very

appropriate piece of music, Mrs. Peel.

It's a requiem.

Do you have any luck?

Sorry, what?

Do you have any luck?

Find any land worth building on round here? Oh, no, not really.

No, I didn't think you would have one. Not round here.

I can do a hold it up for you.

Where's Mrs. Peel?

Mrs. Peel?

Oh, you mean the little popsy who arrived yesterday.

She's gone, her boy.

Gone? She packed her bags and left, just like that. Not so much as a wire

wherefore.

You fancied your chances there, did you?

Well,

you never know your luck, do you, Piggy? You don't mind me calling you Piggy, do

you? It seems to suit you so well.

Huh?

You're expendable, Piggy.

You're dead, remember?

Killed in action, 1942.

Where is she, Piggy?

Where is she?

Thank you.

Would the winner come to the unsaddling enclosure?

All this is supposed to go on the horse, you know.

Must be very uncomfortable.

It is.

All right.

Have you unsaddled?

Oh.

Oh.

Tight girth. We have to cut down on the oats.

Who put you on such a tight rein, anyway? The vicar. The vicar?

He's an imposter.

So is Mark Brandon and Jewel Manson. I found the real Mark Brandon in the

schoolhouse. And that's not all I found.

Food? Mm -hmm.

Enough to feed an army.

An army?

Now, Steed.

Concentrate. What do you make of this?

Little Baisley. And it?

A submarine. A submarine moored offshore.

To what purpose?

Disembark people.

Small batches of them, say, a dozen at a time. Why?

If you wanted to take over an entire country, how would you go about it?

Launch a full -scale invasion.

And risk a full -scale reprisal.

Don't let them know you're doing it.

Take it over piecemeal.

Bit by bit.

Half.

Wipe out the old population and replace them with your own kind.

The vicar, the schoolmaster.

The butcher, the baker, the candlestick maker. All impostors. But if someone

were to arrive in the village, someone who could point the difference.

Like Smallwood. He disappears too.

Now strangers they allow in and out.

To get rid of the whole lot would arise suspicion.

So an entire village is taken over.

What then?

The next town.

Another next.

And the next, and the next, and finally...

I

went round the whole of this place and there were just empty buildings.

Below. That's what he meant by below.

Mark Brandon, just before he died, kept saying below.

This airport was built during the war.

So there must be bunkers.

Underground shelters.

Thank you.

Don't touch that. We may be in orbit.

You'd cause quite a constellation.

There's a whole army down here.

And up top, they're still searching for us. I feel like the filling in a club

sandwich.

According to that map, there's only one way out of here. Through that door and

up those stairs.

We could run the portcullis down.

Down the mechanism?

Right.

Hold it right there.

Now take your hands away very slowly and turn round.

We didn't expect you quite so foolish to be in this field.

Now, for a long, leisurely dinner in a cozy little inn where the claret wines

are heavy and the take is this thick.

You concentrate on the driving.

I'll tell you what I have in mind.