Original subtitles

All right, let's see what's playing?

A movie day,

what an off-brand approach to our afternoon.

Yeah, I've been in the mood for a rom-com.

- Oh, what about a western? - Ugh! A western?

What do you got against westerns?

Aside from the hack storytelling,

they're just a sea of sepia tone and spittoons.

I bet you a fried pickle I can change your perspective.

First, I do not like fried pickles.

And secondly, you can never change my perspective.

- Can too. - Can not.

Well, I guess I know what we're gonna do today.

Hey, where's Perry?

Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz is at the Almond Brittle Convention,

so you have the day off.

I'm in nearby Swampville

teaching Carl the manly art of piloting a fan boat.

Very manly, sir.

Did I mention I'm allergic to bug bites?

Maybe we should turn back.

Wait. "Deadly rapids ahead"? Carl, slow down.

I can't, sir, rapids are fast.

That's actually what "rapid" means.

Don't you argue semantics with me.

Mayday! Mayday!

Use your monotreme instincts to find us.

Bring mosquito repellent!

Yeehaw!

Are we lost, sir?

I'm pretty sure there's a small town half a klick north.

Or was it south? Uh, it probably doesn't matter.

Just try and keep up.

I think I'm stuck.

Put your back into it, Carl.

Not one word.

- Are we gonna die, sir? - We're going to be fine.

In dire situations, you must rely on your...

manly man instincts.

Now follow me.

Manly platypus.

"Forced Perspective Western Town."

This is gonna help us change your perspective on westerns.

Ferb, a demonstration, please.

Depending on the position you're in,

the varying size proportions trick the brain

into seeing a different scale.

Ready, Isabella?

Yippee-ki-yay.

You see, the second hat was much bigger,

but it was further away.

How is this going to change my perspective on western cinema?

Perhaps a heartfelt ditty will clarify that for you. Hit it.

♪ In a Forced Perspective Western Town ♪

♪ You might go up You might go down ♪

♪ In the Forced Perspective Western ♪

♪ You could be the biggest and the baddest itty-bitty guy around ♪

♪ How you finagle your angle will change your point of view ♪

♪ Doo doodly doo ♪

♪ In a Forced Perspective Western Town with you ♪

Yeehaw!

Yeah, I don't really get how it works, either.

It's best not to think about it too hard.

Whatever. Have you come around yet to appreciate

the rustic beauty of the Wild West?

While this Forced Perspective Town is charming,

it has not changed my perspective.

I still find the Western film genre tacky and--

Hot biscuits, it's looks like I snagged me

one of them teal-tailed city ducks,

or my name ain't Bubba Doofenshmirtz.

And you know it is.

It is. Mmm-mmm. I'm gonna make me some city duck stew,

starring you.

Sir, I don't think our instincts can get us out of this one.

Oh, don't be a stick in the mud, Carl.

I'm not a stick, sir.

I'm a person in the mud,

with feelings and mudskippers!

Make it stop, sir.

My mustache, my beautiful mustache--

Wait, we're not really stuck.

- It's our boots, sir. - You're absolutely right.

We've got to strip down to our skivvies.

We can shelter in that shack over there.

Wait, where is the sound still coming from?

Y'all don't stop now.

I was just getting going.

Baljeet, your perspective will never change

if you don't put in a little bit of effort.

Okay, okay.

A little to the left and...

Uh, there. Hold it!

"Hold it" is right.

There's a new sheriff in town.

Wait, what?

Phineas and Ferb, what did you do to me?

Nothing, Candace.

It's just an optical illusion.

You're actually back there?

I don't like these optics.

I'm still telling Mom.

How do I not have any bars?

This is our backyard.

- Perhaps you should try telegraph. - Telegraph?

Uhh! Good thing I went to that Morse code camp three summers in a row.

"Boys built old-timey town.

No building codes. Get home."

Oh, Candace,

make sure not to rile the miniature ponies.

Ahh!

Why are these miniature ponies so big?

They're in the foreground.

That doesn't even make sense. Ow!

Then how did they kick me?

Dash, dot, dot, dot, dash, dash.

It's a good thing that I worked on that submarine

those three summers that Candace was at Morse code camp.

"Boys built old-timey..." I don't even want to know.

I'll tell you what, Lunch...

You don't mind if I call you "Lunch," do you?

I'ma... I'ma call you "Lunch."

Oh, that's my cousin Heinz.

He's from Drusselstein.

He moved to the big city, though.

Now-- now me,

I was born and raised in this here swamp,

just a stone's throw away of two bigger adjacent swamps.

So it occurred to me if I could connect all three,

I could take over the entire Tri-Swamp Area.

Problem is these beavers keep building dams

to keep the three swamps separate.

A nuisance.

You're a nuisance.

But you, my little duck buddy, you are one of a kind.

The eating kind.

A little pepper, a little paprika.

Bless your heart, Lunch.

So I built a gizmo to trick them beavers into eating their own dams.

Behold my beavernator!

Hey, Ned, Ned. Time to feed the beavs! Come on, Ned.

Come and get it, little fellers.

The gizmo pulls that doohickey,

which yanks up that thingamajig,

ringing them tin cans, which have been precisely tuned

to the resonant frequencies of beavers brain waves,

hypnotizing them beavers.

Look, it's working right now.

Now, drain them dams lickety-split.

Ring-a-ding-dong, it works.

Functioning properly.

You see that? You see it right?

Uh, nah, I've been trap building

since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.

You ain't getting out of that one.

This town ain't big enough for the both of us.

But now it is.

It's working.

I totally changed your perspective.

Draw!

Oh-ho! Dead ringer.

I reckon Baljeet wins.

Well, winning does take the sting out of the fact

that there's obviously a horse out there somewhere with only three shoes.

Wait, what do we got here?

Well, come on up.

- I'm making supper. - Oh, thank you so much.

Mmm. What is that wonderful smell?

- Agent P? - Agent P?

Go on, have a taste.

Mmm.

Go on.

Now, don't be shy.

I suppose I'll tone down the spice for you city folk.

Oh, no, the more spice, the better.

Oh, maybe spices from another room.

Like really-hard-to-find spices.

Oh, yeah. Now we're talking.

All right, I'll see what I can rustle up.

But, sir, you can barely handle black pepper.

Quiet, Carl.

Okay, okay. This took some rustling,

but I found... Hey, wait a sec!

What do you city boys think you're doing with my city duck?

That's my lunch.

Hey, you're taking my lunch.

Well, folks, I do not know about Western cinema,

but this Forced Perspective Western Town has been a hoot,

which I am just now realizing is a thing.

Hey, shouldn't you be riding off into the sunset or something?

The only proper response to that question is...

Yeehaw!

Hey, y'all city boys come back here with my lunch!

Good thing I asked you to bring that repellent.

Oh! Oh, no!

No!

Curse you, Lunch!

Time to bust them sodbusters.

Oh, wow. That was close.

- See, Mom? See, Mom? Here, look. - Right.

Oh, my gosh. Did you guys build this little western town?

It's adorable, and it looks so big from down here.

That's the forced perspective.

I was gonna make some popcorn.

Who wants to watch a movie?

I believe I'm in the mood for a Western.

Yeah, let's do it.

That doesn't even make any sense.

And that's not how forced perspective works.

Are you coming or not?

Yes, I'm coming.

♪ There will be no counting sheep tonight ♪

♪ Okay, but what about llamas? ♪

♪ 'Cause there ain't no sleeping at a slumber party ♪

♪ There ain't no sleeping tonight ♪

♪ The popcorn is popping ♪

♪ And the sound system's bopping ♪

Did you hear what Jeremy said?

Buford, stop eavesdropping.

♪ Playing light as a feather Perform a seance together ♪

Ooh, we can confess our deepest darkest secrets and emotions.

Or whatever.

♪ Because there ain't no sleeping at a slumber party ♪

♪ There ain't no sleeping tonight ♪