Original subtitles

Why is that ferret wearing a fedora?

An OWCA guide for those in the know.

Billy the Beaver, you are a secret agent?

Alas, you know my mysterious secret.

Hello.

Now that you know about one of our agents,

please follow these OWCA guidelines.

Donnie Do-Good knows it's his responsibility

to step in and use any skills he has to help.

But Dougie Do-Nothing hesitates and...

Can you see what went wrong?

Thanks for sharing this, Perry.

To be honest, it's been a little awkward since

I found out about your secret last summer.

But it is weird this specific thing happens so often

there's a pre-made video to deal with it.

But even weirder that they shot it on film.

I mean, how old is this video?

Anyway, rest assured, I'll be a Donnie Do-Good.

♪ Agent T! ♪

You know we have a front door.

Thank you girls for helping out with

the Doctor and Scientist Symposium.

two of our servers got food poisoning and had to drop out.

Oh, and hopefully this is not the food that caused that.

Excuse me.

Yeah, thanks, Candace. With both of us here, it should be fun.

No problem, Stacy.

I mean, I am a little disappointed that

I'll miss out on busting my brothers today,

but at least I get to serve food to a room

- full of strangers. - It'll be easy.

All we have to do is wrangle a few doctors and scientists,

"This way to the dessert table."

It's like herding very smart cattle.

Ha! I forgot how strangely impressive you are

at very specific animal sounds.

Yes, I'm very good at a skill I would never need to use in real life.

You should hear my hiccupping dolphin.

Yeah, let's get back to it.

Hello, doctors and scientists of Danville.

You know, it's weird that I was not invited to this.

I'm a doctor and a scientist. An evil scientist.

Not an evil doctor. That would be weird.

And now, as they say in Uruguay, point me to the buffet.

And who's kidding who? The buffet's the only reason I came.

Free shrimp. It's a perk.

Yep, that is a useless skill.

Agent P, thanks for coming in this evening.

Doofenshmirtz has been spotted interacting with other doctors

and scientists and must be up to something evil.

- What makes you say that, sir? - Duh, it's his whole shtick.

It's on the side of his building.

Anyway, Agent P, go do what it is you do.

Why do I think he's evil?

Have you ever even watched this show?

Oh, yeah, this is where all the years of studying

evil science finally pays off.

Ah, Dr. Diminutive, I won't say it's good to see you.

But it is hard to see you because you're so small.

I'm easier to see than your ex-wife

'cause, you know, you're so divorced.

We wanted different things.

She wanted to not be married to me.

So what's new, short stuff?

Not that it's any of your business, Heinz.

But I've been trying to win the Love Muffin tag and bag contest.

Just my luck that Agent Silent G

is out of town this week.

Wait, wait, what tag and bag contest?

"Bring your nemesis in for bragging rights and a special prize."

That's easier said than done.

I catch Perry the Platypus every day,

but like suppressed flatulence, he always manages to escape.

Charming.

I may have overshared there.

Perry?

No, Candace can't see him in agent mode.

What else does it say in the video?

Remember the three Ds.

Distraction, discussion, or diversion.

Make a decision. Nope, four. I guess there are four.

Distraction.

Ow!

Candace, did you know that my boyfriend Coltrane

is secretly on the Venezuelan Olympic luge team?

Well, he isn't. Hey, look over there.

I don't see anything over here that wasn't over there.

Perry the Platypus? What's he doing here?

He's not a doctor. I don't think he's a doctor.

I don't know for sure, I guess.

He is truly an enigma.

Wait, Diminutive.

Whenever I trap Perry the Platypus, he escapes.

Yeah, you said that already.

But if you and I teamed up and both trapped

Perry the Platypus, he'd be twice as trapped

and we could split the tag and bag prize.

Heinz, as reluctant as I am to agree with you,

that's actually a good idea.

Ooh, ooh! We can call ourselves Double Doctor Squad.

Oh, no, that abbreviates to DDS,

and I don't want people to think we're dentists.

Uh, ooh, how about Doofen Diminutive Squad?

No, no, same thing. Name TBD.

Let's go.

And the award for most ingenious use of nucleotides

in an amusement park ride goes to,

once again, it's Phineas and Ferb.

- Did I hear Phineas and Ferb? - Oh, I was wondering aloud.

Is "hideous" a verb? Turns out it's an adjective.

- It means ugly. - Ugh.

Perry the Platypus. What are you doing here?

Besides getting trapped!

You've been double-trapped by Dr. D. Squared.

Yeah, that's still not right.

This is not good.

Uh, Candace, can you hold down the fort?

This shrimp cocktail isn't agreeing with me.

Go! I got this.

Donnie Do-Good is on the job.

Agent P?

Great googly-moogly, you're not Agent P.

I mean, uh, that is... Look over there.

My name is Stacy Hirano.

I know Perry's a secret agent, and he's been captured.

I'm in pursuit now.

This is highly irregular.

I really... Can you turn the screen sideways?

I really don't look good in the vertical aspect ratio.

Sorry, sir, but there's no time to go through proper channels.

But I've seen the video. I'm a Donnie Do-Good.

Sir, she's our only hope.

All our other agents are being dewormed.

Oh, right. I forgot Agent W is missing.

- Go, young lady, go! -

And the award for exceptional rocket science

in a supporting role goes to Phineas and Ferb.

Now I know I heard Phineas and Ferb.

No, I said, "Fibbing is for the birds."

It's part of my presentation I'm making later.

That doesn't even make sense.

I worked hard on this.

Ouch, they're really cranking up the evil a notch.

I think they burned off my fingertips.

Hello, hi. We're here to turn in my nemesis.

Where's our prize?

- Uh-huh. - Paperwork.

That's the real evil.

Uh...

- Do you have a short form? - What's that supposed to mean?

What do I do? What do I do?

In a crisis, rely on your own unique skill set.

For instance, Carl here knows how to yo-yo.

Okay, special skills.

Uh, miniature golf, babysitting, gymnastics,

third level black belt in taekwondo.

Taekwondo. Taekwondo.

I forgot how strangely impressive you are at very specific animal sounds.

Animal sounds. Animal sounds.

I also make all those weird animal noises.

Wait, wait. What is this?

Now we have to fill these forms out in the dark?

Is that what...

And I thought this would never come in handy.

It's the agents of OWCA.

And Danny the Dolphin

has the hiccups, apparently.

They've got us surrounded!

Every evil scientist is coming down!

Your little fedora is giving me the willies.

Oh, I guess the gymnastics helps, too.

- Ha - Eh?

And the taekwondo.

I wonder if the miniature golf will come in handy.

Wait, what is this?

Perry the Platypus in a death trap?

Wait, when did Love Muffin get so evil?

Hippos?

Aren't sharks more traditional in a death trap?

Yeah, actually, hippos are much more dangerous than sharks.

Not interested right now, Shorty.

Geez, read the room.

- No prize is worth this. - Now what?

It's not like I can just march in there among all those evil scientists.

Or can I? These weirdos are expecting animal agents

to break in, not teenage girls.

Hello?

Did one of you guys call for a babysitter?

Who is that girl and what does she want?

This is 989 Poom Willie, right?

Oh, I'm sorry.

686 Elmwood?

Hey, did one of you order a babysitter?

Uh-oh.

Or I use mini golf.

I'm so sorry, Perry the Platypus.

I would never have brought you here if I'd known about

the whole death by hippos deal.

That is not my style.

No, no, I get it.

Go ahead, hurt me. I deserve it.

Excellent work.

Looks like Donnie Do-Good, did good.

And our final award of the night...

Ah, who am I kidding? It's Phineas and Ferb.

Okay, I swear someone just said, "Phineas"!

- Stacy, where have you been? - Ugh, the shrimp cocktail.

Oh, that's the worst. I'm so sorry.

Sriracha cheese stick?

♪ Stacy ♪

♪ She's a 16-year-old teenage girl who is average ♪

♪ She's always carrying the weight of Candace's baggage ♪

♪ She's got a mini skirt and a bow ♪

♪ She watched the informational video ♪

♪ With her unique skills, she's equipped and ready to go ♪

♪ Stacy Stacy Hirano ♪

♪ She's Stacy! ♪

♪ Agent T! ♪

For teen.

Got any more in here?