Original subtitles

Hi, Fireside Girls.

Let's welcome another day for us to be

chipper, cooperative and cheer in unison!

As you all know, the Annual Fireside Cupcake Jamboree is coming up

and we have a big decision to make--

Picking the cupcake flavor to bring.

Ms. Feyersied will be here soon

to guide the proceedings---

Oh. Hi Ms. Feyersied.

You won't make it in today--

I guess I can run the meeting.

I'll just follow the Fireside Handbook.

Feel better! Bye!

So, I guess we'll go ahead and start.

Our trusty Fireside Handbook has some guidelines to follow!

Starting with the compliment session.

You are worthy of every patch you've earned.

You always inspire me to get 1% better.

You have natural charm and leadership ability.

Sorry to, uh, ping your pong, Agent P.

But we've received word that Doofenshmirtz has made

an appointment to renew his evil business license.

And the only thing worse than regular evil is unlicensed evil.

So make sure he does the proper paperwork.

That reminds me, sir.

OWCA's business license expired last month!

There's nothing wrong with unlicensed good, Carl.

Oh, uh, since you're in the area,

Carl would appreciate it if you renewed our license too.

I think it's cupcake time.

- Cupcakes are life! - Yay!

Cupcake time!

So, it says here, we should vote on our preferred cupcake flavor.

That should be super easy.

- Vanilla! - Vanilla!

Vanilla!

Red Velvet.

What? I like red velvet.

I like red velvet.

- Vanilla! - Red Velvet!

- Vanilla! - Red Velvet!

So what do we do now, Isabella?

Oh, um, well, eh--

It says here,

"In the incredibly unlikely event of a tie vote...

just vote again."

Hmm. All in favor of vanilla, raise your hand.

All in favor of red velvet?

Hmm. I don't remember a single time

we didn't unanimously pick the same thing, then rejoice in a harmonized shriek.

Hmm. A split decision. Now what?

This is a situation the Fireside Girls have never had to deal with.

Perry the Platypus!

Walk and talk, my nimble friend. Walk and talk.

I have to renew my evil business license

at Danville's Embassy for Evil today.

You can come along in case I need someone to vouch for my evilness,

which I think... I think you can do.

Shoo! Shoo! Find your own Inator

to put your gross pigeon feet on!

Have you seen pigeon feet?

Well, don't start now. Trust me.

You can't unsee them. Disgusting.

That's the trap I was gonna use on you

but my evil license expired as we previously established,

and I don't want to pay all those fines.

Adyson, you were the first to earn a cupcake delivery patch.

How about you deliver your trash to the trashcan?

Or maybe you should get a shut your cakehole patch.

- Excuse me? - Nothing.

Maybe we should try giving the cupcake flavor another vote.

What if we did donuts?

- Hooray! - Donuts!

I love dunkable snacks!

Okay ladies. I think we should stick to cupcakes.

Let's just pick one.

Red velvet or vanilla.

How about neither? Let's pick a new flavor.

- Why not donuts? - I'll never back down from the donuts.

- I have no agency! - Girls! Stop!

I'm sorry. Let just, um...

Okay, here's an idea from the "One of those days" section.

Let's all hold hands and sing a jovial song.

In D major. And a one, two, a three--

Wha-- What's happening?

We've never gone off pitch!

Is there a full moon tonight? Is Mercury in retrograde?

It should take just a minute, Perry the Platypus.

Diminutive... I'd say it's nice to see you,

but I'm an evil scientist, not a liar.

Doofenshmirtz.

Yes, yes, enough of this awkward banter.

I'm cutting in line.

Isabella, why don't you let me take over the meeting?

It seems like it's too much for you.

It's not too much for me, Gretchen.

It's a cupcake vote, just pick a flavor.

You want to put us all in these little boxes,

like your stupid little vanilla cupcakes.

But we just want to do whatever we want!

You are not the boss of us.

Not the boss!

- Whatever we want! - General anger!

Just vote for a flavor!

Who wants vanilla?

Vanilla, huh?

Do you have a patch for being basic?

Well I do have the most patches.

So yes, I probably do have that basic patch!

Um, what I mean to say is, let's focus, girls.

The girls need someone to make a choice!

To lead them!

Gretchen, what's going on?

We're always on the same page!

I think it's time I have my own page.

A new page.

Oh, hello, handsome.

Do you have a viable backstory?

Oh, plenty! Plenty!

Back in Drusselstein, in the days o--

Please do not monologue into the interface.

Perhaps you shouldn't have asked!

Please select your nemesis.

Uh, he's more of a, a frenemy,

but our boundaries are fluid.

You're ready to begin your assessment.

Right this way, please.

See! Cupcakes can be donuts too!

We don't have to conform to society's norms anymore!

Non-conformity!

Cupcakes with holes!

I... taste... power!

Only whoever holds the handbook should speak!

Your taste is suspect, Isabella!

Who even thinks triangles are cute?

He's more than a triangle!

That's not like me!

The choice is easy!

Red velvet! Or donuts!

Pick your side!

- Chocolate! - Cronuts!

Cheese plate!

Remember, girls! Cooperate!

Appreciate!

Ahh!

Flan!

1:00 PM: taste test the girls' cupcakes!

I love it! I love the taste!

You can't see us like this!

I guess girls do mature faster than boys.

Your next assignment is scheming.

Take over this model of the Tri-State Area.

Your time starts now.

Doof likey.

Well, first I would place a robot army right here.

Wait-- wait-- that's a one-way street,

so they would actually, I guess be over here.

Wait-- this is no longer a vacuum store.

They actually sell T-I-R-E-S.

Tires. They sell tires there--

And who made this model?

This can't be a restaurant.

They're not zoned for food.

And time's up.

Eh, that tracks I suppose...

Okay, we're just gonna montage through the next few tests.

♪ Pick a side or bring the fire ♪

Cooperate, you animals!

♪ Pick a side or bring the fire ♪

♪ Bring the fire, and watch it... ♪

♪ Burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪

♪ Watch your back, I'm ready to rumble ♪

♪ Were gonna see which way the cupcake crumbles ♪

♪ We bake them from scratch ♪

♪ You've met your match ♪

♪ I'm gonna earn my anarchy patch ♪

♪ Watch it burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪

- ♪ You want vanilla, but I'm seeing red ♪ - ♪ Velvet ♪

♪ I think there's something wrong with your head ♪

♪ I'm not sweet, I'm sour ♪

♪ I'm hungry for power ♪

♪ And this escalated in less than an hour ♪

♪ Watch it burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪

♪ Watch it burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪

Are there any more tests?

No, you completed all the tests.

But our system is down, so you'll have to come back tomorrow.

What? Tomorrow?

Or you can do it all online.

Online? That was an option this whole time?

Well, ain't that a kick in the--

Ow!

They really need to add a section for this in the handbook.

This is seriously out of control.

But I feel so safe with you, Isabella.

Like nothing bad will ever happen--

Man, that was difficult.

It used to be so easy, just like filling out a piece of paper

and dropping it off.

All right, Perry the Platypus, you can do your thing now.

I've got the rest of the afternoon off. Apparently.

Congratulations, you have renewed your good business license!

You know, I'm just gonna take the high road

and use this as a backstory for some--

Please do not monologue into the interface.

I can't lie, girls.

I'm tempted to join you all in the chaos.

Maybe there's a patch at the end of this very dark tunnel,

but for the first time, I don't know...

Down with Isa-smella!

Son of a patch!

That's it!

Wait, wait, why is this turned on?

Shoo, shoo bird, shoo. Huh.

I hope my Uncooperate-Inator didn't cause

any problems in that little building over there!

♪ Ooooh, la la la ♪

That was... weird.

- What happened? - I have no idea.

So, how about red velvet... with vanilla frosting?

Yay!

See? Everything works out when you cooperate.

-♪ You want vanilla, but I'm seeing red ♪ - ♪ Velvet ♪

♪ I think there's something wrong with your head ♪

♪ I'm not sweet, I'm sour ♪

♪ I'm hungry for power ♪

♪ And this escalated in less than an hour ♪

♪ Watch it burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪

♪ Watch it burn ♪

♪ Watch it all burn ♪