Original subtitles

♪ There's a hundred and four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket, or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪

Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[narrator] It's the third installment of Meap.

Meap.

If you haven't seen the first two, go back and watch them now.

We will wait.

Okay, we're done waiting.

The first episode of Meap ended with a trailer of random shots

for an episode we never intended to make.

But then we had to write around those shots

incorporating them into a second episode.

At which point, we knew we weren't going to make a third episode,

so we ended it with an even dumber trailer. Take a look.

And now a trailer for an episode we also have no plans to make.

Pay attention up there.

-Jerry the Platypus. -Ferb,

aren't those extinct?

As a matter of fact, I object to this union.

♪ Yes, I'm just a guy who's a sucker for the sounds of mass transit ♪

[squealing]

[narrator] The Chronicles of Meap, Episode 42 .

-Meap. -[narrator] Meap me in St. Louis.

Hey, wasn't that Suzy stuff supposed to be in this one?

[narrator] Now, somehow we have

to incorporate these 12 shots into an episode.

Here goes.

[whirring]

[crashing]

This is the Ellias Commander.

You've been ordered to stand down.

[electronic voice] Self-destruct initiated.

Five, four, three, two.

[gasps] Oh, man. You know how much paperwork this means?

[whirring]

[narrator] The Chronicles of Meap Episode 42.

[Meap] Meap!

Meap Me in St. Louis. Starring John Stamos as Meap.

Meap! Meap! Meap! Meap! Meap! Meap!

-[whirring] -[tires screeching]

[narrator] Well, Candace, you're at a Bangaroo themed birthday party

for a little girl who despises you.

I just hope no one objects to a giraffe marrying a lemur.

Well, as a matter of fact, I object to this union.

But only 'cause it's cuter than my shark koala.

So your wife is still in her stained glass phase?

I don't wanna talk about it.

Thanks for coming, Candace. Suzy's been waiting for you all day.

Oh, yeah, she looks psyched.

Hey, did I see Perry on the invite?

No.

She invited Jerry the Platypus.

-Jerry the Platypus? -A little further.

A little further.

Okay. Open your eyes.

Huh? Huh?

If this is an intervention, I don't think you guys are doing it right.

No, today's the day. We're gonna build a bread bowl hot tub.

-Bread bowl hot tub. -Yeah.

Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We built the drone!

Well, that was trippy.

Good morning, Agent P.

Doofenshmirtz has been spotted doing a variety of non-evil things, maniacally.

We have to assume evil intent, though,

because that's what pays the bills around here.

Thwart away, Agent P.

Here we go. This doesn't even make any sense.

Yeah, I'm gonna be soaking in soup.

[Phineas] VHS tapes?

Ferb, aren't those extinct?

So this is kind of cool.

Just regular folks having a nice time.

And Meap. Meap, what are you doing here?

Candace, I've come 16,000,000 light years to find you.

Wait, how can I understand you without your mustache translator?

Oh, we got new translators.

That's why I sound like John Stamos. Have mercy.

Right, of course.

Candace, Big Mitch is back with a new, convoluted, evil scheme.

But no one believes me. And you are my only hope.

-Come on -Jeremy,

Brayden number three is dipping his finger into the cake and denying it.

I wish I could bust him.

Psst. Child's play.

I could bust him with my hands tied behind my back.

Well, if it's so easy, why don't you show me? Come on.

We are on an important mission, young lady.

-Let us pass. -I don't think so, short stuff.

I think you and I are about to have a giant matrix-like battle.

In front of all these Bangaroo Toys.

No, no, no, no, no. I'll do this.

Oh, guess we're not gonna fight.

Brayden, you are so busted.

That was amazing.

Exactly why I sought you out.

Candace, you are the most focused, determined busting machine I know.

Together, we can bring Mitch down.

Well, it is sorta my wheelhouse, so you know,

sure, I'm in.

The first thing we must do is recruit the rest of our team.

The most inventive human minds this side of Nebulous Nebula.

You're gonna say Phineas and Ferb, aren't you?

Yes. Yes, I am.

Yeah! Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

[all] Oh, hi, Candace.

[indistinct chatter]

-Hey, Meap. -We need your help with Big Mitch.

Of course.

I'm sorry, Buford. We'll have to save the bread bowl hot tub for another day.

No!

And to make matters worse, my own alliance commandos are after me.

I was forced to go rogue in order to prove Mitch is planning

to build a vast criminal empire by finding the lost treasure of Zachariah Yore.

Who?

Uh, I don't care that much.

Well, the treasure's a huge case filled with enough treasure

to buy an equally huge case filled with the same amount of treasure.

[all] That's a lot of treasure.

So, where is Mitch anyway?

Do you need a break from the tedious shame spiral that is your life?

I can give it to you at Big Mitch's Ultimate Vacation Destination Tours.

These fake tours are a ruse to fund Mitch's search for an ancient treasure.

A treasure that I believe is right here on Earth.

Hey, we could set a trap and catch Mitch red-handed, trying to steal it.

Great idea, Candace,

but it could put the planet in grave danger.

These tourists have trashed every environment they've gone to.

Oh, we can handle a few partying out-of-towners. Right Ferb?

The question is, how do we turn Earth

into the ultimate vacation destination to lure Mitch here?

-Wait, I know, Stabby Barf Pain. -Excuse me.

Stabby Barf Pain sounds like the worst thing ever.

Stabby Barf Pain is the name of a theoretical fifth season

that combines the best aspects of the other four seasons.

Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall into one.

Flowers bloom as golden leaves fall from trees.

Warm sun shines as beautiful snowflakes fill the air.

A fifth season beyond all expectations.

That's Stabby Barf Pain?

Yep, it gets its name from the scientist who theorized it.

Doctor Sunny Gloriousweather.

Yeah. He was bad at naming things.

It's theoretical, but what if we actually made it?

-♪ Doofenshmirtz Evil Inc. ♪ -[swooshing]

Okay, let's try this again. Eh, eh, eh.

Ah, Perry the Platypus. Look, Balloony's back.

You remember Balloony, right?

Why is laughing the only thing evil scientists do, you know, maniacally?

I thought, hey, I should stand out and do something else maniacally.

I'm expanding my brand.

So far, not that much luck. Walking maniacally,

that ain't happening. You saw. You saw.

Neither is brushing my teeth maniacally.

Asking for a shoe in size ten, maniacally.

Going to the bathroom, maniacally.

That was a failure of epic proportions.

You don't want to know. Wait, Perry the Platypus, where are you going?

I could use a non-latex second opinion, please.

Please.

I see it's annoying, but it works.

[♪ tropical music playing]

This place stinks. This isn't vacation weather.

It's raining crustaceans.

It's time we continue our quest

-for the galaxy's... -[all] Ultimate vacation destination.

We need to find a real vacation destination

before these losers see through my ruse and stop funding this expedition.

Keep scanning.

Okay, Operation Snitch on Mitch.

These weather altering machines will spread Stabby Barf Pain

across Danville. Attracting anyone out there

scanning for vacation destinations.

Candace and I will use my intel to locate the treasure.

I just wish I had my ship.

You mean the ride from outer space?

Ferb.

[whirring]

My ship! But it was destroyed.

You mean you made me another one?

Nah, he made it for us because it was too cool not to have, but--

You can have it. We're done.

Oh, thank you. I mean, thank you.

There, locked and armed.

Oh, that's the self-destruct button.

The alarm is on the other side.

Okay, maybe we made two. In case someone accidentally exploded one.

I mean, the remote is ambiguous.

So if you're a fugitive from the alliance,

can't they track your remote signal here to Earth?

Yes, Yes, they can.

[♪ dramatic music playing]

Um, if you're done staring into the distance, we got a lot of work to do.

[♪ upbeat music playing]

♪ Stabby Barf Pain It's the best of all four seasons ♪

♪ Stabby Barf Pain We're gonna tell you all of the reasons ♪

♪ Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall all roll together in a big, old ball ♪

♪ Sunshine, snow, and wind and rain ♪

♪ That's what you call it Stabby Barf Pain ♪

♪ Stabby Barf Pain I never felt so hot and cold ♪

♪ Stabby Barf Pain This fabulous feeling will never get old ♪

Pay attention, up there.

♪ Whichever combo has a better ring ♪

♪ It's all of the best parts none of the bad ♪

♪ It's the best season that you ever had ♪

♪ It's Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing] ♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Stabby Barf Pain [vocalizing]

[on radio] ♪ Stabby Barf Pain... ♪

We've intercepted a signal from Earth.

Stabby Barf Pain. I thought that was theoretical.

I have found the perfect vacation destination.

Set a course for this Earth.

[laughs maniacally]

[all] What do we want? The ultimate vacation destination.

When do we want it? In the foreseeable future.

Just as I promised the ultimate vacation destination

with Stabby Barf Pain.

-Stabby Barf Pain? -The theoretical fifth season?

Set course to Earth. [laughs maniacally]

That should appease those insufferable ingrates.

We can still hear you!

[♪ upbeat music playing]

Hey, that's refreshing.

Stabby Barf Pain? Just when we were sure we only had four seasons,

suddenly there's a fifth. Anyway, we'll have to take the bus

because maniacal parallel parking turned out pretty much as expected.

I made a dinner date with the jaws-of-life.

Meap, Meap, Meap, Meap.

We must hurry before the alliance finds me.

Tracking the treasure case's trajectory...

It ended up in Missouri sometime around 1933.

That case is supposed to be huge.

How could they keep something like that hidden?

Let's see, in 1933, St. Louis

created a monument to Western expansion in America.

This thing.

Candace, that's it.

Stabby Barf Pain is spreading in this area.

I'll send our obnoxious tourists down there

while we continue our search for the treasure.

Colin Junior can head up the landing party.

Speaking of which, where is Colin Junior?

-Ugh. -Sorry, Sir. It happened again.

You know, Perry the Platypus,

maybe I'm being too narrow with my definition of maniacal.

I can just sing maniacally on a bus.

♪ I'm just a guy who's a sucker for the sounds of mass transit ♪

It really is Stabby Barf Pain.

I can't believe-- Wait, freeze that image.

It's Colin, the real Colin. I don't need you anymore.

Wait. What is everybody... Oh, I get it.

Alien invasion. Yeah, that's worth staring at. I get it.

Ow! Hey, wait, wait, wait, no. No, Balloony!

Seriously, you had this the whole time.

Why were we taking the bus?

Oh, that's right, the trailer thing.

Save Balloony!

[whirring]

Whoo-hoo, Stabby Barf Pain makes me want to party.

It's pillaging weather, baby.

Dink Wickerson here as alien tourists trash Danville.

-Yay! -Yeah, I love prepaid vacations.

They're trashing everything.

We've gotta find a way to wrangle these alien visitors. Buford!

What? It's pillaging weather.

Just remember we've got to get to Mitch before the alliance.

Uh-uh, remember, it's the other button.

[alarm beeps]

Intruder, identify yourself.

Right, come on, come on. You gotta see what the other bots are doing.

Come on, hurry.

Nice work, Candace.

That's busting 101, I got this. Or maybe I don't.

Look who's here, Colin. My old nemesis, Meap.

And, uh, what are you?

I'm the girl who brought you down twice already.

Me? But I'm just a totally innocent and legitimate business owner

who has already paid his debt to society.

Totally innocent and legitimate business owner

who's already paid his debt to society.

-My fuzzy white butt. -You don't fool us.

You're just here 'cause you know the treasure of Zachariah Yore's

on this planet.

The treasure is on the same planet as Colin and Stabby Barf Pain?

What are the odds?

Well, you're never gonna get to St. Louis before--

-I'll stop talking now. -Set a course for St. Louis.

Okay, Perry the Platypus. I've got an idea.

First things first.

We have to take down these robots that look like us.

[grunting]

I mean, they look just like us. That's weird, right?

Come on, let's go save balloony.

[car backfires]

[♪ electric guitar playing]

Hello, alien tourists.

Put down that city property and make your way to the dance floor.

♪ You've been partying hard on the ultimate vacation ♪

♪ But there's a new craze that's been sweeping the nation ♪

♪ You think you're bad enough If you want to take a chance ♪

♪ Then get ready for this brand-new dance ♪

♪ Everybody just sweep to the left Sweep, sweep to the right ♪

♪ Actually pick up a broom and just sweep it out of sight ♪

♪ Pick up that clutter ♪

♪ Clear out that gutter Do the laundry and the dishes ♪

♪ Or I'm gonna tell your mother ♪

♪ Mop, wipe, wash and scrub Do the tidy up ♪

♪ Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

♪ Tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

♪ Pick up a vacuum Pick up a brush ♪

♪ When you go to the bathroom, please remember to flush ♪

♪ Feed your iguana Hose down your best friend ♪

♪ You've gotta sparkle if you wanna do this hot new trend ♪

♪ Mop, wipe, brush and scrub ♪

-♪ Do the tidy up ♪ -♪ Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

-♪ Do the tidy up ♪ -♪ Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

-♪ Do the tidy up ♪ -♪ Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

-♪ Do the tidy up ♪ -♪ Do the tidy up Do, do the tidy up ♪

Cleaning is fun.

Okay, now you ruined it.

So where could that treasure be? That's it!

Once I get that treasure, I'll use the money to create my own army

to destroy the alliance, or maybe Earth, first...

I don't know the exact order.

But there's going to be a lot of destroying. Ready the winch!

-[♪ epic music playing] -[whirring]

Pull!

[people screaming]

The lost treasure case.

Well, it's more of a valise, but I found-- Maybe it's more of a briefcase.

But it belongs to me.

[alarm sounds]

This is the Outer Worlds Commando Alliance.

Wow. Good timing.

Guess I leaked the St. Louis info at just the right time.

-What on Earth are you talking about? -You are so busted.

Hang on! Hang on. Mitch, have we literally caught you red-handed?

Stealing the lost treasure of Yore.

Exactly as Meap warned us you were.

Well, when you say it like that...

You fell for the oldest trick in the book.

Well, well, well.

Colin, cover my escape.

[automated voice] Warning, self-destruct activated.

Come on, Candace. He's getting away.

How did you-- I'm still-- Whah!

Balloony, I came to rescue you.

Warning. In case you forgot, self-destruct still activated.

Perry the Platypus. The ship is gonna ex--

Never mind. I'm on it. I'm on it.

I guess I just have to press this blue button.

Uh, Balloony. What are you--

Okay, I know that's just the air currents

pushing you around, but that's still special.

[automated voice] Warning. Self-destruct activated.

It's still progressing.

One step closer. It's a go, people.

Got to get to that button.

-You should consider leaving. -Perry the Platypus. Balloony!

Okay, Clown bots. Let's try fighting to save my friends, maniacally.

[indistinct shouting]

[automated voice] Self-destruct in three, two, one!

Ugh. I guess in retrospect, I should've pressed that first.

I hope he won't mind me borrowing his silly little toy ship.

[grunts]

[both grunting]

Get away from him, you Mitch.

Oh, hilarious. I truly expected to turn

and see you pointing some huge atomic neuralizer at me

or something. But you've got nothing.

Not nothing. I have the key fob to that ship so you can't escape.

-I'll take that. -No, Candace,

if he hits that red Turbo button, he'll be going so fast,

we'll never be able to catch him.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya.

[tires screech]

-[laughs maniacally] -[alarm beeps]

Well, that worked. Red turbo button.

I learned from the best. Shall we say it together?

-[both] Busted! -And with my hands

actually tied behind my back.

[crashing]

Come on, Balloony. This is us.

I'm just so glad to have you back.

But watch yourself, Perry the Platypus,

I got maniacal fighting skills now.

You saw.

Wait, we're in St. Louis? When did that happen?

Listen, listen. I don't think nobody noticed. Just put it back.

[♪ epic music playing]

Meap.

♪ Do the tidy up Do the tidy-- ♪

You know what? It's not as much fun anymore.

It just feels like work.

You're a true hero, and I should've had faith in you.

Although, actual evidence really helped.

Thanks, but the real hero here is Candace Flynn.

It was her plan to bust Big Mitch that saved the day.

Then I officially make Candace Flynn an unofficial agent of the alliance.

Thank you, Chief.

So what time you coming home tonight, baby?

Oh, I don't know, honey. Six, sevenish.

Okay, cool. Remember that my mama is coming for dinner tonight.

Oh, so that's your wife.

Yeah, no one ruthlessly hunts you across the galaxy like my Brenda.

Hey, you know, we didn't get to enjoy this fifth season.

So would you mind if we borrowed your Stabby Barf Pain generator?

Not at all. It's all yours.

Oh, oh. And I was just about to call Mom on that.

Thank you, kids and especially you, Candace.

Maybe some good has come out of my busting obsession.

I don't think it's really a busting obsession.

It's a justice obsession, and the day that you realize that,

well, that just might be the day all your dreams start coming true.

Nah, it's definitely a busting obsession.

So, we're not doing a trailer for the next one.

[narrator] And now a trailer for another episode we do not intend to make.

[indistinct shouting]

Wait. Wasn't that Suzy stuff supposed to be in this one?

[bell dings]

All right. I guess that's a victory.

♪ It's Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing]

♪ Stabby Barf Pain ♪

[vocalizing]