Original subtitles

[Bowling for Soup] ♪ There's another hundred and four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪

[Phineas] Hey!

♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

[Phineas] It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird ♪

♪ Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

[Candace] Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

[Phineas] Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

[Candace] Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

[♪ harmonica playing]

[Phineas] Don't worry, little fella.

It's just your annual vet visit.

Plus the harmonica music's probably not helping.

Candace, you don't usually come to these vet appointments.

What do you mean? He's a member of our family.

Of course I'm concerned with his health stuff.

Oh, look, there's a Slushy Dawg! Gotta go. Bye!

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, car!

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.

Jeremy's working there today.

That tracks.

Whoa, this place is packed.

This Chippin' Day brought in way too many people.

-We're swamped! -When can we see the doctor?

My Renaldo has waiting room anxiety.

Oh, my gosh, your leg.

Oh, that's just his denim scratching post.

Hercules' appointment was an hour ago.

We're gonna be late for the groomers.

-Me too! -Us too!

-Them too! -My Petunia's just fine waiting.

But Petunia 2 wants her free chipping,

and she wants it now!

I'm so sorry, folks, but if you'll be patient,

the vet will see everyone as quickly as she can.

-That's not good enough! -[all clamoring]

If only these people had something to do while they wait.

Oh, Renaldo, I know brushing soothes you.

I'm so sorry Daddy forgot your brush.

Hmm. I'm formulating a plan.

I know what we're gonna do to--

Oh, you're way ahead of me, Ferb.

We'll build the ultimate while-you-wait pet wash

and grooming machine.

I'll call the gang.

[smartwatch ringing]

And for once, we know exactly where Perry is.

-[smartwatch beeps] -Hello, Agent P.

We were concerned because we tracked you to the Slushy Dawg.

I mean, do you know how much sodium is in their hot dogs?

[gags] But by the third bite, you're committed.

Now we see you're at the vet across the street,

which is even more concerning.

Agent P, you cannot be chipped

or your host family could track you at all times.

So could your enemies.

Carl, are you familiar with the phrase "No duh"?

Getting chipped could put the entire operation in danger,

so avoid it by any means necessary.

But it's, uh-- it's always good to have a checkup.

It is flea and tick season.

Yes. Yes, it is, Carl.

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] Why do I do this to myself?

I'm not even thinking about hot dogs,

and I just walked by this place

and it's like I lose all control.

Ich! But by the third bite, you're committed.

Wait, is that-- is that Perry the Platypus?

Well, he is an animal.

Maybe he's got worms or something.

He should watch what he eats.

Hmm. What is he doing?

Look at him over there, protagonizing.

Now I have to go over there and antagonize.

[sighs] Oh, one more bite.

Oh, I hate myself.

Wow.

Nobody puts condiments on dogs like you do.

That might be why they made me assistant junior manager.

Just got promoted.

Wow. So you're conditionally in charge?

Well, only on weekends before 11:00, but...

Candace, I love that you came to visit,

but rules are rules.

"Paying customers only." Fine.

One Slushy fries, handsome.

There's also that sign.

"No flirting with employees."

Is it that big of a problem?

One chili dog.

And your shirt color really suits your eyes.

You've already been warned, Buford.

[♪ upbeat scatting music playing]

[gasps]

[screaming]

Mmm!

Whoo!

-Yay! -Yay!

Thank goodness.

The main office is sending over

a temporary vet to help.

Give him this chipping gun

and send him to exam room 1 when he gets here.

Oh, hello.

Have you seen a platypus around here?

About yea high, very trappable.

Oh, you're the doctor.

No, I'm-- Yes, I am.

I am a doctor.

Thank you. Thank you.

A lot of people just stampede

straight to pharmacists for some reason.

-I don't know why-- -Great. Here's the chipping gun.

-Follow me. -A chipping gun?

Like a tracking chip?

Wait a minute.

Just so I understand this correctly,

this is an apparatus

that will plant a tracking chip into an animal,

allowing anyone to know where they are

-at all times? -Mmm-hmm.

I could put a chip in my goat.

[screaming]

No, wait. Even better, my goldfish.

[screaming]

[gasps] Or even better than that,

I can chip Perry the Platypus!

[laughs] This is amazing.

This is like a platypus find-inator

that I didn't even have to think of or build.

It's like getting a freebie.

Man, I need to hit Slushy Dawg more often.

Sorry, thighs.

[thighs screaming]

Now all I need is to find Perry the Platypus.

Right this way, Doctor.

In here, you'll find a platypus.

Really?

Oh, this is too easy.

Ha!

Oh, wait. You're just a regular platypus.

I'm sorry, you're completely useless to me. No offense.

Now, which roomy the roomypuss

would Perry the Platypus be in?

[♪ funky music playing]

♪ If you have a terrier or something hairier ♪

♪ We can clean them up for you ♪

♪ Just let 'em on out of that carrier ♪

♪ If you've got a Maltese or maybe a Pekinese ♪

♪ We can give them a blowout with just a little tease ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ We can bathe and brush and bevel ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ Get your animal up to next-level ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ Might've come in here lookin' disheveled ♪

♪ But you're gonna walk out the door saying, "Oh, my gosh ♪

♪ It's a 10 out of 10 It's the best pet wash" ♪

♪ Pet wash ♪

♪ We're as good as the advertising ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ When we're done you won't recognize 'em ♪

-♪ At the pet wash ♪ -♪ Pet wash, oh, yeah ♪

♪ Check out our merchandise ♪

♪ And if you thought your pup would never be this posh ♪

Then you seriously underestimated us.

♪ Pet wash! ♪

Perry the Platypus?

Where are you?

Aha! Perry the Platypus!

No, uh, Phil the accountant.

Doctor, about Hazel's eczema...

[whimpering]

Oh! [laughs] Whoops.

Uh, I'm just gonna eczema this room.

Perry the Platypus?

Oh, no, I didn't know you were so sick.

Stay with me!

Wait. You're not Perry the Platypus?

That's Felix, my beaver.

He likes to hide under a blankie.

Yeah, I think I'm just gonna eczema this room, too.

Doctor, you're supposed to be in exam room 1 with the platypus.

I'm actually not familiar with this species.

Mind if I stay and observe?

Well, I guess I could warm up with this platypus.

And here you go.

Hey, no-- Hold still!

Hold still!

Hold still-- Argh!

It's a good thing I have this practice platypus,

because this is much harder than I thought.

Yow, brain freeze.

[groans]

[sighs] So, anyway, as I was saying,

how nice is this to be taking a little break--

-[clears throat] -Ah, man.

Okay. Okay. Paying customer here.

[suppressed burp] Hit me with another chili dog, but hold the onions.

Anyway, as I was saying,

how nice to be taking a break?

[slurping]

Phineas and Ferb?

Mom! Mom! Mom!

-Mom! Mom! -How's it going?

Oh, yeah, Jeremy got all his shots and Perry got promoted.

But you gotta come back to see what the boys are doing.

Fine. I'll see you soon.

Even Perry the Platypus isn't this difficult.

Maybe he's nervous because I'm here.

[panting] Oh, yeah. Good.

I don't think I can keep up this vet thing for--

Perry the Platypus!

How did you get in here?

Oh, never mind.

[laughs] Behold!

Well, it started as a chipping gun,

but now it's my Platypus Finder-inator!

You missed the whole rebranding process.

Trying to chip me?

How original.

My idea. Copycat, copycat.

♪ Baow chicka baow wow... ♪

Hey, Perry the Platypus, you want some fish with those chips?

[laughing]

Aah!

Eh, I'm starting to think that's not the temp vet.

Yeah? Then where is he?

[chomps]

And now I'm committed.

Ow! Ow! Ow!

You are chipped now, baby.

Aah!

[grunts]

[muttering]

Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, hurry!

[screaming]

A sun shower, how lovely.

-But-- -Oh, look, Candace, a rainbow.

But, but, but, but...

Thanks for your help, kids.

It got a little crazy there for a while.

Our pleasure.

I'm happy to report that Perry has a clean bill of health.

Oh, I almost forgot. It's free chipping today.

Would you like to have him chipped?

Nah, he's a platypus.

They don't do much.

[sighs] Phew.

[chipping gun beeping]

Funny.

It senses one of you have been chipped.

That's me. From that time I went feral.

♪ De ker na ferb na vilder verd! ♪

[screams]

Ready? One, two, three.

And off she goes.

Baljeet, cue the live feed.

The ball should arrive at Mount Kilimanjaro

in roughly 11 minutes.

Cool, the first-ever game of lacrosse country.

It's kind of weird that we're doing it at night.

Well, that's just because it'll be morning

in Africa when it lands.

I just hope Ferb makes it back in time to see it happen.

What is Ferb doing?

I don't know. He didn't say.

What should we do while we wait?

Hmm.

-[gasps] -Do not even think about

suggesting the bread bowl hot tub again.

Too late, already thunk.

What about regular-sized lacrosse,

but rocket-powered?

Great idea, Isabella. Perry can be the ref.

Hey, where is Perry?

Apologies, Agent P.

And sorry for calling you in after hours.

Fish have been mysteriously disappearing

all over Danville.

Smells like Doofenshmirtz to me.

You know, because he often smells a lot like fish.

Mackerel, specifically.

Get back on that camera, Carl.

[scoffs] Interns these days.

What are we even not paying them for?

Unfortunately, we're running low on budget

because we spent most of our money

making new entrances for your lair.

Get to Doofenshmirtz' quickly before your overtime kicks in.

He always forgets to turn off the lights.

I'll just get it with the remote.

[♪ disco music playing]

Why do we even have a dance party setting?

Worth every penny, sir.

Well, that's it for me, Carl.

The season premiere of Workplace Acquaintances is tonight,

and I hear the episode is really tepid.

Oh, I've got to get to my part-time job.

I'm late for work.

This is your job, Carl.

Everything else is a hobby.

[scoffs] Youths these days.

Right this way, please.

No lobster. This is turf and turf night.

We've got a food critic out there.

[grunts]

[Major Monogram on smartwatch] Carl, where are you?

I'm at work, sir.

Sure you are.

Agent P still hasn't finished his mission

and our trackers show he's in your area.

Wait. How would you know Agent P is near me

unless you have a tracker in me, too?

Never mind that, Carl.

His overtime is expensive,

and you, on the other hand, are free.

So stop goofing off, find Doof,

and help Agent P finish up fast.

[glass smashing]

-[diners screaming] -[laughing]

I think I found him, sir.

Thanks for taking time out of your evening

to thwart me, Perry the Platypus.

You know the old saying,

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day.

Give a man a fish-inator,

and he can rule the entire Tri-State Area!"

Order's up.

I'm still working on a real evil application for this,

but, for now, I'll settle

for serving people live fish without consent.

That's a little evil.

Toodles.

Agent P, let me help you with that.

Is this sushi grade?

I can handle things here, Agent P.

You go after Doofenshmirtz.

♪ Carl, removing fish from plates ♪

♪ Carl, because nobody ordered that ♪

♪ Carl, serving turf and turf ♪

♪ He's so much more than an intern ♪

Brilliant work, Carl.

You truly are the cream of the corn.

Oh, thanks, boss.

Now, check in on that critic for me, won't you?

Uh, excuse me.

Can I ask how the review is going?

Oh, I'm not a food critic.

I'm just working on my screenplay.

Well, do you have any notes on the food?

The appetizer felt unmotivated.

Oh, weasel toes.

I've got to get into costume and get to my next job.

Good luck, Carl.

Hmm. Well, if he's not the food critic, who is?

[Ferb] Mmm.

How was the meal, sir?

The turf was excellent,

but the turf left a bit to be desired.

[smartwatch ringing]

What is it now, sir?

Carl, Agent P isn't done

and you're literally clowning around.

But, sir, I'm at work.

You mean hobby.

-Go help him. -[gasps]

[laughs] A birthday party.

Perfect. This is next on the list of things I can ruin.

With fish! [laughing]

I wish this was a gift card.

I don't.

[children crying]

Keep after Doof, Agent P.

I'll fix things here.

♪ Carl, cheering up children ♪

♪ Carl, moonlighting as a party clown ♪

♪ Carl, puts fish in a fountain ♪

♪ He's so much more than an intern! ♪

Now blow out your candles and make a wish.

I wish for this experience not to traumatize me for life.

I don't.

[Ducky Momo] Nice save, man.

-You doing okay? -Yeah. Thanks.

I just have to get to my next job.

I have an engineering degree.

[both laughing]

Huh. Usually, some unforeseen element

would have removed our invention by now.

Perhaps we should take it down.

[both grunt]

I'm sure nature will find a way.

[Phineas and Isabella laughing]

You're just in time, delivery boy dude.

I got a fresh one going out.

This one's priority, pal.

It's perplexing how impatient patrons are

for a pizza pie with their profile pic upon it.

[chuckles] Alliteration.

Don't be late.

Remember, customer retention is way more important

than employee mental health.

-[exclaims] -[smartwatch ringing]

Carl, what are you doing?

I already told you. I'm at work.

No excuses. Agent P is going into triple overtime

and OWCA will be bankrupt.

Sir, I really shouldn't be--

Oh, commercial's over. My show's about to start.

Just get to it, Carl.

[sighs]

[Dr. Doofenshmirtz] So I figured it all out.

A fish in the hand is worth two in the inator,

but a fish in everyone's hands means they can't stop me

from taking over the entire Tri-State Area.

Because their hands are full.

Of fish.

Go get him, Agent P.

And I've got a pizza to deliver.

[laughing]

[grunts] Ow.

Oh, so that's how you want to do this, huh?

Let's see how you karate chop with your hands full of fish.

Huh?

Okay. Time to fight fish with fish.

You know, like surf and surf.

Aah! Aah! Aah!

[yawns] What are you doing?

It's so late.

Yes. Yes, it is.

Well, if it's still here in the morning,

I'm gonna bust you guys.

[yawns] You're going down, down, down.

[all cheer]

See? Nature always finds a way.

We are not fish-leaping distance

within any body of water.

How is that nature?

Oh. So you give a platypus a fish,

and he clogs your inator.

[fish-inator beeping rapidly]

Wait. Where did all the fish go?

I can't believe you opened an aquarium,

but forgot to buy any fish.

And there they are.

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

[♪ hard rock music playing]

♪ Carl, delivering pizzas ♪

♪ Carl, but the elevator's down ♪

♪ Carl, whatever he'll just take the stairs ♪

♪ Carl, it's only eight floors off the ground ♪

♪ Moonlighting hours have been awfully frenetic ♪

♪ I'm telling you, this kid has got a crazy work ethic ♪

♪ He's so much more than an intern! ♪

[panting]

-Sorry for the delay. -[customer] It's been over 30 minutes.

That means my pizza is free--

Wait. Carl? Is that you?

Major Monogram?

Well, Carl, if you hadn't wasted your evening

with all your silly antics,

maybe you'd be able to deliver a pizza on time.

"Silly antics"?

I told you three times now.

Those are my part-time jobs!

Oh, I thought you were joking about that.

But, you know, seeing you in uniform

and handing me a pizza,

I admit I might be mistaken.

Sir, I'm an unpaid intern.

How do you think I afford to pay rent?

With experience and exposure?

I even have to pay for my own parking at OWCA.

This internship is actually costing me money.

I love this job,

but if I keep having to work like this,

even in my off-hours, I--

You know, Carl, I see firsthand

just how much you do for OWCA.

And although it goes without saying,

I'm going to say it,

you are one of the hardest workers I know,

and you're not just an intern.

You're more than an intern.

Thanks, sir.

That means a lot.

In fact, why don't you come on in

and enjoy a slice on me?

And I've even got a special surprise for you.

You're getting paid.

I'm-- I'm being promoted to paid intern?

No. For the delivery,

even though it was 37 seconds late.

But I will be sure to validate your parking.

[laughs] A "paid intern."

That would be preposterous.

Wow. I think my career just took a giant step forward.

I don't.

Can it, Brittany.

Finally.

-Honey! -[wife] I'll see in the morning.

♪ If you have a terrier or something hairier ♪

♪ We can clean them up for you ♪

♪ Just let 'em on out of that carrier ♪

♪ If you've got a Maltese or maybe a Pekinese ♪

♪ We can give them a blowout with just a little tease ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ We can bathe and brush and bevel ♪

♪ At the pet wash ♪

♪ Get your animal up to next-level ♪

♪ And if you thought your pup would never be this posh ♪

Then you seriously underestimated us.