Original subtitles

♪ There's another hundred and four days of summer vacation ♪

♪ And school comes along just to end it ♪

♪ So the annual problem for our generation ♪

♪ Is finding a good way to spend it ♪

♪ Like maybe ♪

♪ Building a rocket or fighting a mummy or climbing up the Eiffel Tower ♪

♪ Discovering something that doesn't exist ♪

-Hey! -♪ Or giving a monkey a shower ♪

♪ Surfing tidal waves ♪

♪ Creating nano-bots or locating Frankenstein's brain ♪

It's over here!

♪ Finding a dodo bird Painting a continent ♪

♪ Or driving our sister insane ♪

Phineas!

♪ As you can see, there's a whole lot of stuff to do ♪

♪ Before school starts this fall ♪

Come on, Perry!

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

♪ So stick with us, 'cause Phineas and Ferb are gonna do it all! ♪

Mom, Phineas and Ferb are making a title sequence!

Dink Winkerson here for Danville Today.

Temperatures surge as we hit record-breaking levels of heat.

I was going to suggest you wear sunscreen

and stay hydrated, but that seems inadequate now.

Man, it's hot. It is so hot.

He is redundant, but he is right.

I do wish we could luge the heat.

Wait, did you say luge the heat?

I mispronounced, okay? I am melting.

Well, maybe we could lose the heat by lugeing.

You know, hurtling down a big sledding track in the snow.

Great, an activity that takes 17 seconds, then I'm hot again.

Fair, but what if we made a luge track that never ended?

Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.

Make the world's first endless luge track.

-[all cheering] -Yay!

I don't know, Stacy. With the AC on the fritz,

I don't have the energy to move.

I don't even feel like busting my brothers.

If it's this hot, your brothers could be taking it easy too.

[sighs] Perfect.

Ugh, maybe you're right. Okay, gotta go.

My phone's overheating.

-[wind blowing] -Ah, a cool breeze.

Did someone fix the AC?

You were right, Ferb.

Most people would scoff at the idea of building

a frozen luge track on the hottest day of summer.

-And yet, here we are. -Phineas and Ferb.

Ironically, the coolness they created gave me the energy

to bust them for the coolness they created. [laughs]

[♪ mysterious music playing]

There you are, Agent P. Hope you're enjoying

that fresh glass of lemonade.

It took us all morning to hand-squeeze those lemons.

-And by us, I mean Carl. -My hands are still pruney.

Anyways, Doofenshmirtz has been spotted outside

the Danville Water Park with a preposterous amount

of Doonkelberry oil.

Water and oil don't mix. He must be up to something nefarious.

Go stop him, Agent P.

Keep fanning, Carl.

Lunch isn't for another 45 minutes.

Mom, backyard! Boys, invention!

Just a minute, honey.

But the boys made a giant luge wheel and...

Is one more minute really gonna make that much of a difference?

Fine. Backyard. One minute.

[Phineas] Hey, Candace!

[all cheering]

No, no, no!

All done. Okay, what did you want to show me?

Yeah, Mom, one minute really is going to make

that much of a difference.

Okay, I'm off to Charlene's to return her cake pan.

You might want to stay inside.

I'm worried the heat's making you see things.

Is Mom, right? Could this all be a temperature-induced hallucination?

Oh, I don't think so, Kevin.

Yeah, you're right. Thanks, talking zebra!

The squeaky wheel may get the grease,

but that frozen wheel is so getting busted!

Ah, ah, ah, Perry the Platypus.

Park policy states that you can't enter without a wristband.

Luckily, I always carry extra wrist-oriented ornamentation.

Here, admission for one.

Into my trap. [laughs] Also, you owe me $40.

Now, you may be confused about why I have

an industrial-sized vat of Doonkelberry oil.

Back in Drusselstein, we used Doonkelberry oil for everything.

Skin care, verb conjugation, making scented candles,

but strangely not Doonkelberry scented candles,

vanilla mango for some reason.

Anyway, so when I saw it on sale, I may have gone a little overboard.

But where to store it all?

Obvious answer, the water park.

No, no, stay with me. It makes sense.

Back in Drusselstein, the kids would all go

to the local oil park, like a water park, but slipperier.

I never got to go in myself, but I remember looking through

the fence when my brother Roger had

his birthday party there. But it looked like fun.

So with this dry-inator, I'll zap away all the water,

and then I can replace it with my Doonkelberry oil.

Then I can finally have fun at the oil park,

and Roger's not invited.

[screams] Ow! I use that foot for walking.

[Buford] Someone dare me to lick this thing.

-[all] Don't lick it, Buford. -Fine.

How does this work anyway?

Well, the slowly melting ice of the wheel

creates a slick surface, eliminating friction.

Gravity converts into angular momentum,

giving us perpetual mo... Hello?

-[Isabella] He licked it. -I liked it! [yelps]

[laughs] Such is the karmic cycle

of angular momentum.

[yelping]

-[yelps] -Wait, where'd he go?

I'm up on top! I do not know how I got here!

Don't worry, Ferb's got you!

Whoo! [grunts]

-Thank you! -No problem.

[grunting] Not getting away that easily.

What the?

The heat has gone and melted our comically oversized fudge pops.

Probably shouldn't have put it on the roof.

Or made it out of fudge.

[grunts] Fine, I'll have to go on foot.

Wait a sec. Hmm, maybe.

♪ When you think about getting from place to place ♪

♪ You don't usually think of a luge ♪

♪ But it's a practical means of transportation ♪

♪ If you've got an icy wheel that's huge ♪

♪ Some people stare in disbelief Others may point and scoff ♪

♪ But not only does it give us locomotion ♪

♪ It also really cools us off As the way around town ♪

♪ It's kind of intuitive It kind of depends on how you do it ♪

♪ If you're gonna get dizzy If you get dizzy ♪

♪ Then you best stay clear ♪

♪ But if you want a real cool Unconventional ride ♪

♪ Just grab yourself a sled and hop inside ♪

♪ Even though it's still summer We know it's still summer ♪

♪ But we're shifting gear It's all downhill from here ♪

I'd usually charge you for that,

-but I see you're in a song sequence. -Thank you!

[cell phone vibrating]

Oh, hello, Vanessa. I'm so glad you called.

Have you seen my hair dryer?

Uh, well, I may have enlarged it

a little to make a dry-it-off-inator, but...

Dad, what did we agree after the vegan rodeo incident?

We don't make inators out of Vanessa's things.

[sighs] Whatever.

Oh, uh, yeah, thank you. I am the greatest dad ever.

Thank you for noticing.

Okay, first things first.

Use my dry-it-off-inator to remove all the water,

so I can then replace it with my Doonkelberry oil.

Yeah, baby!

-[grunts] -[all yelping]

[yelps]

-Oscar, please stop crying. -[sobs] I can't.

Oh, I guess I can.

[whoops]

-Mom, Mom, Mom. -What is it?

No time to explain. I need you to head down to 4th Street.

Oh, well, I have to take 4th anyway.

-Hey, isn't that your sister? -She appears to be skiing down

the frozen wake left by the wheel.

Oh, hey, Candace. If you want to grab a luge,

we'll pick you up on the way back.

-I do not want to grab a luge. -Dink Winkerson here.

We've caught up to the mysterious summer skier.

What's your secret to keeping cool?

Uh, I guess it's this giant wheel of ice.

Wait, am I on TV?

You will be at 4 o'clock, when we'll find out who is she,

where did she come from, and what's up with her neck.

Stay tuned.

-Mom, look left. Now. -Oh, donuts.

-You want me to pick some up? -No.

I mean, sure, a chocolate glaze.

-Then get to the water park. -Oh, my goodness.

-Would you look at that? -You actually see it?

Phineas and Ferb made that.

Oh, honey, even you can't think the boys made a tortoise.

-The heat is getting to you. -Ah!

Oh, come on in. The Doonkelberry oil's fine.

And slippery, baby.

[screams]

[both yelp]

I regret nothing!

I'm okay! [whimpers] I'm less okay now.

[laughs]

Oh, looks like oil and platypuses don't mix either. [laughs]

There's no way for you to get up here.

What are you, part salmon?

Something is interfering with the friction of the wheel.

We are losing control!

Abandon wheel!

Okay, honey, I'm here with your donuts.

-What part of the park are you in? -Let me see.

Prepare to dry!

There! I'm right by the...

What? What the...

-Candace, are you still there? -Stand still.

Hey, the shark jumped us!

Wait, where are you going? Oh, crud.

Curse you, Perry the Platypus!

You're telling me we only got vinegar

for this giant salad?

What are we gonna tell all these hungry vegetarians?

[all cheering]

Uh, I asked for mine on the side.

Oh, there you are.

So what exactly am I supposed to be seeing?

The boys!

-Hi, Mom. -Hi, kids.

But, but...

Candace, honey, why are you dressed like that?

I told you, you're going to get heat stroke.

-Wait, wait, wait. What time is it? -It's 4 o'clock, but what?

-Turn on the news. -[yelps]

Dink Winkerson here. It's 104 degrees,

and one local resident wants to hit the slopes.

[chuckles]

But, but, but, but.

Hey, it's the tortoise I saw earlier.

Isn't that the most outrageous thing you've ever seen?

Not even today.

Oh, there you are, Perry.

Looks like Perry's bringing his own version of cool.

[chittering]

[announcer] Please welcome today's lecturer,

psychologist Dr. Mosley Shamai.

Esteemed colleagues, tonight I make history.

I told you, my therapist is giving a talk.

I'm so glad you're talking to someone about this.

-It's all... Oh. -Come on, it's already started.

We've all heard our clients' claims of bizarre sightings

across the Tri-State Area.

UFOs, giant treehouse robots, and whatever this is.

The giant floating baby head lives!

And so does Klimpaloon, the magical old-timey bathing suit

who lives in the Himalayas!

Stories like his. Why is it that all

of our patients believe these impossible claims?

I believe I've found the answer.

I present to you two clients, two complete strangers

who seem to share the same delusion.

Or do they?

Client one, a teenage girl convinced that her brothers

are time-traveling space voyagers who build

elaborate inventions that mysteriously disappear each day.

-[chuckles] -Now, where is that lip balm?

-What did I miss? -Client two,

a self-proclaimed evil scientist

whose inventions also disappear each day,

allegedly due to a crime-fighting semi-aquatic mammal in a fedora.

-What? -[all laughing]

-Scoff. -Show us.

-[exhales] Uh-huh. -[laughs] Yes, I know.

These bizarre claims sound like

the ridiculous plot of a children's cartoon.

-[all gasping] -But behind this curtain

is weeks of research that will expose the truth.

[all chattering]

[laughs] They'll see. They'll all see.

And to think, it only started four weeks ago.

And once again, just as I was about

to take over the Tri-State Area,

Perry the Platypus hits the self-destruct button,

foiling my evil scheme.

Clearly a symbol for your self-destructive behavior.

And the platypus, an obvious metaphor for whatever's keeping you down.

I'm not speaking metaphorically.

Perry the Platypus actually came in wearing

his little fedora and destroyed my inator

every single day last Sun--

Hold on, I think I'm having a breakthrough.

-I think maybe... -That's time.

We'll pick this up next week. Bye-bye.

And once again, just as I was about

to show my mom, some mysterious force

took the roller coaster away, foiling my epic bust.

Sounds like classic self-sabotage.

And a roller coaster, hmph, an obvious metaphor

for life's ups and downs.

I'm not speaking metaphorically.

The boys' inventions disappeared every single day last summer.

And of course, Mom never sees it.

It's always, "Who wants pie? Oh, there you are, Perry."

Wait.

-Who's Perry? -Perry, our pet platypus.

-Come on, Doc. Keep up. -Hmm.

Tell me more.

♪ At a quarter to three, the boys' invention disappears ♪

♪ Just as mom arrives ♪

♪ Disappear just as mom arrives ♪

♪ My inator fired off of my balcony at 2:45 ♪

♪ His inator, 2:45 ♪

♪ Reality dissolves before my very eyes ♪

♪ And I'm starting to realize no one understands me ♪

-[chorus vocalizing] -♪ No one understands me ♪

[chorus vocalizing]

♪ Just last Friday, what they built got up and danced away ♪

♪ That sentence doesn't even make any sense ♪

♪ I built my dance away-inator The day before Saturday ♪

♪ But that's an interesting coincidence ♪

♪ With all the information that you have now ♪

♪ Could these two stories be connected somehow? ♪

-♪ I think I have a theory ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

-♪ No one understands me ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

-♪ No one understands me ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

[both] ♪ No one understands me ♪

Hmm. Disappearing inventions? A platypus?

Something oddly specific is going on here.

And where is this Perry?

[beeping]

Agent P, the shower entrance only opens on ice cold.

[snickers, laughs]

Agent P, the cold shower is the oldest prank in the book.

-Good one, sir. Classic. -[laughs, clears throat]

Agent P, we've learned that Doofenshmirtz may be in therapy.

And if so, we fully support him and hope he gets the help he needs.

But on the other hand, if this doctor he's seeing

is just another evil scientist, stop them at all costs.

I need more context on these patients,

so I'm conducting interviews at their places of residence.

Yeah, yesterday was the giant mechanical squid on roller skates,

and today we were gonna make a bread bowl hot tub,

but here you are.

Well, perhaps they get it from me.

I'm a bit of a tinkerer myself.

Yeah, Phineas is a genius.

No, Doctor, I never see anything.

I ain't talking to no shrinks!

From my observations, Candace's instability

stems from her desperate need for attention,

which she clearly is not getting from her mother.

It is no wonder Candace is crying out for help.

[Dr. Shamai] It seems each of them had a different grasp on reality.

The data was inconclusive.

I still needed more proof to validate my theory.

-[buzzer sounds] -Come in.

Oh! I'm sorry, that trap was meant for Perry the Platypus.

Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure.

I was wondering, though, Heinz, is it possible to see

one of your so-called inators?

You betcha!

You know, I really took our last session to heart,

so I built a very special inator.

Behold! The self-destructing self-destructinator.

Designed to self-destruct the self-destruct button.

A symbolic act of confronting my self-destructive behaviors.

I know, it's a little on the nose.

Ah, Perry the Platypus, you made it.

I hope you don't mind I asked my nemesis to join our session.

[Dr. Shamai] That's when I found out that the platypus was real.

You know we can hear you, right?

I mean, we're standing right here.

Oh, I was talking about another patient and another platypus.

-Not you. -Great.

I thought we could try a little role-playing exercise.

-Perry the Platypus, you be me. -Me?

You be Perry the Platypus.

Come on, commit to the bit. Here, like this.

Oh, Dr. Doofenshmirtz, you're so evil.

How can I ever thwart you?

Oh, right, right, you don't talk.

Here, here, I'll help you.

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, what an unexpected..."

Well, I am really going to have to carry this whole show, aren't I?

Anyway, normally it looks like this.

[grunts]

-Vanessa, your line. -Whatever, Dad.

Exit stage left.

One small note, sweetie.

You don't have to read the stage direction.

Anyway, you get the idea.

Kick here, punch here, bada boom, bada bing.

Oh, no! Look out!

He body-slammed me into my self-destructinator!

You know, I never really know where these beams go,

but I like to think it's a mysterious force

for evil doing something bad to someone somewhere.

-[cell phone ringing] -Dr. Shamai,

you said to call when it's happening.

It's happening! The mysterious force

just zapped the boys' invention and it disappeared!

Disappeared? Just now?

Incredible! The same moment Client 2

claimed his inator-ray fired, Client 1 claimed that

her brother's invention disappeared.

By Jupiter!

Is this a case of visceral psychosis?

Could this actually be real?

Finally, it all made sense.

Although these two subjects had no contact with each other,

their stories, in fact, were connected.

This is the discovery of a lifetime.

And tomorrow night, with my patient's permission,

of course, I will reveal the astounding truth

of Danville's mysterious force.

[laughs]

Client one even told me her brothers are making

a flying disco blimp tonight.

We're going to bust Phineas and Ferb once and for all.

-[laughs] -Sorry, just ran to the bathroom.

What did I miss this time?

[♪ disco music playing]

And how is this supposed to expunge my childhood fear

of the Boogie Man?

You just gotta out-boogie the man.

Come on, guys.

Time for the musical dance sequence.

My sequins are already dancing.

♪ We're a thousand feet off the ground ♪

♪ We're already up So it's time to get down ♪

♪ We are all up here ♪

Hit the outside projector, Ferb,

so all of Danville can join in.

♪ Do your cardio But don't pull a muscle ♪

Agent P, Code Red, Doof's therapist

is about to blow the lid off of OWCA's entire operation,

exposing us all.

You must stop him. Keep shredding, Carl.

The question at hand, is this all a delusion?

-Or could it all be true? -This is my moment.

Whoo-hoo. This is about me.

Oh my gosh, I never realized that.

Okay, bye.

Sorry, honey.

Your dad called with an antique emergency.

He was so impressed with my inator,

it seems a shame not to have it here for the presentation.

[grunts, groans]

Curse you, Perry the-- [screams]

On this stage is weeks of research

that will change the course of psychology forever.

[pinball dinging]

[yells]

Curtains, please.

Yes, hold your applause.

-As you bask in my brilliance. -[crickets chirping]

-I don't think so. -What?

My research. My proof. It was all here.

What are you doing here? Where's your fedora?

-He can walk. Look. -[all laughing]

We got to abandon ship.

Good thing we're all wearing parachute pants.

Time to get down.

-[laughs] -♪ We are all up here ♪

My proof. Oh, my beautiful proof.

What happened to my... [gasps] Wait.

The disco blimp. It's real. It's all real.

-Yes, yes, yes. -Oh, my things.

-Oh, my briefcase. -Oh, my satchel.

Look up. Forget what you dropped.

Look behind you.

[Dr. Shamai screams]

-But, but, but, but, but, but... -[sighs]

-Tell me about it, Doc. -Wait a minute.

Is this true or is it... Did I just imagine all of this?

Do any of these people even exist?

Do I even exist?

Am I the delusional one?

Or am I just the delusion?

Study me!

Candace, perhaps we should get you a different therapist.

One that won't get dragged offstage in a public meltdown.

That was a lot. Are you okay, honey?

Okay? Mom, I feel great!

What Dr. Shamai went through just once completely broke him.

I go through that every day.

[gasps] And look at me! I'm doing just fine!

Mmm, I'm so happy to hear that.

♪ Just last Friday What they built got up and danced away ♪

♪ That sentence doesn't even make any sense ♪

♪ I built my dance away-inator The day before Saturday ♪

♪ But that's an interesting coincidence ♪

♪ With all the information That you have now ♪

♪ Could these two stories be connected somehow? ♪

-♪ I think I have a feeling ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

-♪ No one understands me ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

-♪ No one understands me ♪ -[chorus vocalizing]

[both] ♪ No one understands me ♪