Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy day.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy day.

Thursday, Friday, happy day.

The weekend comes. We're back, oh, hum. Ready to rake to use.

These days are ours.

I've been free. Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me.

Oh, baby. Oh, black, gray sky.

Hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

It's all right. You can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin'. Oh, no.

Sunday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days. Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

Happy days are yours and mine. These happy days are yours and mine. Happy

Listen

up.

Yeah. If you're being blackmailed, I'm right behind. You understand? I'll take

care of it. I appreciate that, Fon, but I am not being blackmailed. I

volunteered to direct school play.

Because I like being around actors.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it. Is that you?

It's me. Get over here.

Oh, man.

Hey.

We are invincible.

Now, who is this?

Is this up to you?

Yeah, of course I do. This is Jake. Hey, Fonz. Nelson. We used to be Falcons

together. Oh, nice to meet you. Hey, Fonz. That's an interesting nickname.

Hey, let's show them how you got the name. Oh, fine.

Hey, Fonz, where you going? Hey, Fonz, can I go? Hey, Fonz, why not?

I'll tell you something. This man would not be a falcon without me. Oh, is that

right? Yes, that's right. I gave him tips on pinball, motorcycles, and the

etiquette of rumble.

And my dad got us the gang jackets.

Well, that didn't hurt either.

We were inseparable. Then all of a sudden, one day, he disappeared. He

disappeared?

Where did you go?

Well, I met this girl, Vicki Easton.

And pow, my life had new meaning.

Do I understand what you're saying? I met this girl, Ashley Pfister, and pow!

Her life had no meaning.

I hope your story ends sweeter.

Vicki ran off with an insurance salesman. On our wedding day.

I would have run him over, but my rates would have gone up.

I figured I better get out and, you know, try and find myself, right? So I

decided to devote myself to helping mankind.

So I joined a monastery.

A monastery?

Yeah. How'd you get in? My dad got us the ropes.

Ah, yes, the monastic life, making wine, celibacy.

Yeah, he's real curious because he's halfway there.

I make wine.

Well, the Wisconsin monks make cheese.

Oh. Now, one day at the state fair, where I might add we won first place in

semi -soft division, I met Susie, and my life changed again. We swore we'd never

part. Saturday, Susie and I get married. No kidding. Oh, that's fantastic. Oh,

double thumbs. Are you kidding? That's great.

And I know nothing's going to go wrong this time.

Yeah, you've always been like a good luck charm to me, Fon. Yeah.

I'd like you to be my best man.

Yeah, I'd be thrilled.

I'm entitled.

I know I can count on you. I know Roger would mean a great deal to me if you

would be my usher.

Really, me?

Who we just met?

You must really be a quick judge of character.

Of course, not that. I just need a guy who looks good in a suit.

In the evening, don't you have anything to say?

You had to ask?

Well, oh, I'm not going to get this part in the school play.

Because it's all who you know.

Lisa Wainwright's aunt knows Elizabeth Taylor's manicurist.

Really?

Look, Casey, I think you're going to get the part on your ability.

Oh, yes, that's true. And you know, dear...

I'll rehearse with you.

Oh, would you? Oh, that would be such a big help.

Yeah, well, you practice with her, Mary, and I'll just pretend it's a dinner

theater. Oh, how? No. Come on, it'll be a lot of fun.

And afterwards, I might just find that I can't resist my leading man.

Oh, okay. But I'm no actor, so don't expect any Tony Award winning

Okay, this is a scene from I Only Shower When I Win.

Oh, that's the name, but I only shower when I win.

Yes, it's a musical.

I'm going to play Velma, Mary and you play Lola, and Uncle Howard, you play

Bob. All right, it's a steamy night in the Florida Keys.

You look disgusting.

Don't you ever take a bath after you're through wrestling with those alligators?

I only shower when I win. Oh, that's where they get the name in the book.

I am the king here. I am the big daddy.

Why don't you go back to the street? Why don't you go back to the street where

we found you?

Is this Rocky Barufi? Don't make fun. My wife made me wear this.

She also wanted me to wear this vest, these socks, and underwear.

A man's got to put his foot down sometimes.

I agree. I agree. But, you know, you could have worn the vest, huh?

Uh, Fonz, here come the monks.

Is that right?

All right, listen up. Don't you be ashamed of yourself.

These are real monks. This is a church. This is their turf. Now, Roger. Yeah?

Please, have them sit on opposite sides of the church. Right, Vance. Okay, let's

be men of God on this side, car thieves on this side.

How you doing, huh?

Fine. Oh, you know, this reminds me. I haven't seen my twin brother Al since

wedding. Married a lovely, lovely lady. Yeah, my aunt. Oh, yes.

Surprised me. Because he has the brains, but I've got to look.

The boys don't beckon you.

Hey, Fonz, this is going to be great.

Fonz, I'm so happy.

Hey, Fonz, how do I look? Are you kidding me? You look so good.

You look so good.

If the mortician saw you now, he wouldn't have to touch you.

That's good, right? Oh, you look nice. Hey, father, you're dressed right. Oh,

just work clothes.

Boy, Pons, I'm making quite a jump here, huh?

From monk to marriage, huh? From brother to husband.

And that's just the both of you?

Wherever the four winds blow.

We've got a singing gun, Pons.

All right, I'll get started.

Back your socks off.

Dearly beloved, we are glad... I don't believe it.

Fonzie! My love!

Whoa!

It's coming. To the north.

Hmm?

And what?

Three new Southwestern -style cooking varieties from Campbell's, with five

meal ideas on each label, like cheesy chicken quesadillas. Just follow the

recipe to make mealtimes fun times. New Southwestern varieties from Campbell's.

Come home to a home -cooked meal.

Let's talk about better.

When someone says something's better, it's usually just their opinion.

So if you suffer from acid reflux disease, frequent heartburn, and I told

prescription Nexium heals acid -related damage in the esophagus better, you'd

want proof.

And now, your doctor has that proof.

Recent medical studies prove Nexium heals that damage better than the other

leading prescription medicine.

No wonder they call Nexium the healing purple pill.

This is big news.

So call your doctor today and ask if Nexium is right for you.

Because if left untreated, the damage could get worse.

Other serious stomach conditions may still exist.

The most common side effects of Nexium are headache, diarrhea, and abdominal

pain. Hey, with Nexium, you don't just feel better. You are better.

And better is better.

For a free trial offer for Nexium, visit us at purplepill .com or call 1 -800 -4

-NEXIUM.

So long, ordinary toothbrush.

The Oral -B dental experts have created cleaning technology like nothing else on

earth. The new Oral -B Professional Care 8000.

It pulsates and oscillates to loosen plaque and sweep it away.

Teeth get twice as clean and dramatically whiter. Gums get stronger.

Your whole mouth gets healthier.

You'll never go back to an ordinary brush again.

The new Oral -B Professional Care 8000. Brush like a dentist.

Fonzie! Fonzie!

Yeah, yeah, it's me, all right. Question is now, who are you?

Maybe this would be a nice time to introduce you.

Blondie, I'd like you to meet Susie Blackman. Hey. Don't you remember?

Ten years ago, the Schatz Brewery phone -blowing contest and dinner dance.

No.

Now listen, uh, uh, Miss, uh, Blackman, I, I would love to just kind of mosey

down memory lane with you, but it's time to nudge you all up here with good old

Jake, huh? Uh, Jake? Jake? Yeah, yeah, me, Jake. Remember Destiny's Play thing?

The man who sprung for the marriage manual?

So, uh, could we go out with a ceremony now? Please do, please do. Oh, look, I

thought I'd forgotten about Fonzie, but now that I see him again, I, I, it would

be unfair for me to marry you now.

I think his life has to be fair.

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, you have to understand, I am very, very involved with this fabulous woman,

Ashley Fist. I mean, we're practically entangled. You see that? He's

entangled. Can we get married here and get a tax break?

Hans, I hate to butt in, but I've been trained to look for little signs of

tension between couples.

Jake.

Jake.

Here's your engagement ring.

There's a little sign now.

Susie. Susie, don't do anything. I'll regret.

Jake, I have a lot of things to think over.

But whatever happens, we'll always be friends.

Oh. Oh.

She didn't mean it.

She didn't mean it. We'll always be friends. Well, I don't need friends. If

you're really my friend, get married.

Susie, I love you.

You I'm not so thrilled about.

I don't know what to say.

Wait a minute, Jake.

Is this the most bizarre thing you ever saw? How could you do this to such a

sweet guy like Jake? You!

And to think I named my dog after you! Come on, Falcon!

Wait a minute.

This is nuts. Hey, guys, huh?

What are you... Hey.

I didn't, I don't... No.

you, Franz.

I was really looking forward to this. The reception, cheese dip.

Get over here.

I don't even know this girl.

Somebody,

hey, what did I do?

Franzi, my son.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Sometimes he's very obvious.

Sometimes he just likes to kill around, huh?

This could very well be a test of your character.

But we won't know for sure until you bring those two kids back together

Let me tell you something.

I will get them back together again. They'll live a long and happy life like

Romeo and Juliet.

He is, too.

Okay. Yeah, I'll tell him. Thank you. Bye -bye.

Well, Casey, honey, you got the part!

Oh, God!

You did, too, Jenny. You're in men's wardrobe.

Oh, that's just perfect!

Oh, it's great! Now, you are going to be on stage with Lance Mancusi, and I'm

going to be backstage fondling his clothing.

Whoa!

This is my last stop, Mr. and Mrs. T.

What's the matter, Arthur?

I humble myself.

I throw myself at your feet.

I need advice. I got Susie and Jake coming over here. I need something to

them to get them back together again. Shoot. Oh, whatever you want, Arthur.

We're always here for you. So go ahead, Howard.

Show them the way. Yeah.

Oh, well, uh, usually Fonzie in a situation like... I don't know.

I just never run up against anything like this before.

Oh, come on, Howard. You always have a story or a similar situation.

Well, okay.

Let's see here.

Well, I remember when I was in the Army, this guy's wife came to visit him, and

she didn't recognize him because his hair was all cut off. So when he went to

kiss her, she just slapped him in the face.

You're just, you're kidding me, right? You're just warming up, right?

I told you, Fonzie, I didn't really have anything.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, all you have to do is to tell this Jake to go tell this Susie how

much he loves her.

At least the army story had some action in it.

Well, if you don't like the water, don't go to the well.

Howard, I didn't mean to hit you back, Howard. I was out for two hours, Mary.

Fonz. I found him at the zoo in front of the lion's cage rubbing meat all over

his body.

Good work. I'll take over from here.

See you, Fonz.

I gotta go look for my underwear.

Can you imagine? I got one pair and I lose it.

Hey, Fonzarelli, this better be good in case you hadn't noticed I had a pretty

bad day. I got a plan.

I got a plan. I'm gonna get you back together again with Susie, huh?

This is gonna be brilliant. This is perfect. You understand? That's gonna

off my lips like a rib ball.

You, you go to her.

And you tell her just how much you love her.

That stinks.

All right, I got another one. I got another one.

Answer the door. I'm thinking. I'm thinking.

Oh, Fonzie.

Fonzie, when I heard you wanted to see me again, I got so excited.

Oh, hi, Jake. What are you doing here?

I just dropped by for a final round of humiliation.

Well, that should do it.

Next Christmas, when you have a cheese ball, think of me.

Jake, Jake, Jake, Jake.

We can talk about this, Jake.

You've done enough already.

I'm glad I came by. Give me a chance to say my final words to you before I go

out and try and find myself again.

You're not nice.

Forgive my anger.

Come back here.

Fight for the woman you love.

All right, just don't go near the zoo.

Do you have any idea who you just let go through that door?

Oh, Jake, nice, but you're a legend.

Yeah, look, I understand. It is very tempting to listen to the incredible

things, the fabulous things that people say about me day in and day out.

It is not true.

You understand? First of all, I am not a legend.

I am, uh, self -absorbed.

Perfect. I have low self -esteem.

All right, I'm a liar.

I don't believe you.

What am I going to have to say to you to prove that I am not special?

All right, so I'm a little special.

How can you be in love with a guy who don't even remember you? You've got to

remember it was such a special night. No. We were at a dance. No. And I was

wearing a pretty blue dress. No. My hair was up.

No. And I was fat and I had braces. Yes, oh, you were. Oh, yeah.

Where's the rest of you?

Fonzie, that night is something I'll never forget.

Come on, what did I possibly do?

Well, I was sitting in a corner all alone.

Nobody would dance with me.

And guys kept coming up to me and saying things like...

I got my goat. Not nice. Oh, I didn't like those guys.

But you saved me and threw them out.

And no guy has ever done that for me before. Not even Jake.

And you spent the rest of the night dancing with me.

And for the first time in my life, I felt good about myself.

Oh. Oh, yeah, okay.

And I'll find I was unfair.

Oh.

Maybe not.

This keeps getting better. You know, maybe later you'd like to take out my

sister.

I do not want to take out your sister, and I do not want to see this Looney

anymore.

Looney Tune? That Looney Tune happens to be the woman I love. Oh, yeah? How

could you be in love with a woman who looks like she put on her makeup with a

wrecking ball?

Hey, Fonz, you better take that back. Take it back?

Come on, what are you going to do, Jake? What are you going to do, Jake? Hey,

Fonz, don't push me too far.

Don't push you too far?

What, are you in love with... Is this your girl? Or someone ordered pizza?

Did you see what this man did for you? He stood up for you.

A second ago, he was standing up for you.

That's right. That's right. Just like you did for me. No, you don't understand

something.

Look.

When I stood up for you, I knew I would win.

He didn't.

Huh? What does that say to you?

That he's a better man than you.

Well, for you, yes, yes.

That night.

Susie, what I did for you, I would do for anybody because that is my style.

What Jake did here tonight for you, he only did for you.

He loves you. You understand that? I gave you one of the great moments of

life.

He will give you a great life.

Huh?

Let's wake him up, all right?

Jake! Jake,

darling, are you all right? Yeah,

I'm fine.

You're Susie, right? Yeah.

Hi, Susie. Hi.

I did a lot of thinking while you were out.

Let's get married.

Married? Married. You and me married? What happened? Let's not talk about it.

Let's come over here and do it.

Oh, boy.

Hey, Fonz. Yeah?

Whatever you did, thanks.

That's what friends are for.

Hey. Hey, I'll tell you something, Fonz. I'm going to go out there and tell

everybody you didn't stab me in the back.

Oh, no, don't knock me. Hey, Funtz, you're my best man.

Yeah, I got a mumble of a headache.

Nick, Sunday nights this fall.

Come for all new episodes of Drake and Josh.

Stay for two brand new shows.

One about a guy who thinks he has the answers.

Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide.

And one about a girl who's finding her way to fabulosity.

Unfabulous. And then, the new season of Romeo.

New episodes, new shows, new Sunday nights. Every Sunday night, only on

Are you near a phone? Can you take down a number? Then call now for term life

insurance at great rates from highly rated companies across the United

A 35 -year -old man in good health could get $250 ,000 coverage for less than

$11 a month, guaranteed 10 years.

A 40 -year -old man could get that same coverage and pay less than $13 a month.

How much can you save?

Just call MatrixDirect for a free no -obligation quote on the term life

of your choice right over the phone.

Over a million people have called MatrixDirect to help with their

needs. Call us and we'll help you shop for and select the right coverage to fit

your needs.

The call is free, the quote is free, and there's no obligation.

So call now for term life insurance at some of the best rates in the country.

Call MatrixDirect at 1 -800 -566 -1024 or visit MatrixDirect .com.

A short time ago, this woman was limited by her mobility.

A month ago, this man wasn't even able to get around his house.

These are people who chose freedom over restrictions, independence over

limitations. They chose mobility.

They chose the scooter store.

And this is a team of mobility experts that made it all happen.

Great news. You've been approved for payment.

Dr. Cruz, I'm calling on behalf of Marie Stanford.

And they can make it happen for you. If you're living with limited mobility,

call the scooter store today.

I promise no other company will work harder to make you mobile or do more to

guarantee your total satisfaction.

I expected they'd help me file some paperwork with Medicare and my

never expected them to be so nice or to work so hard to get me a power chair at

no cost to me.

Call today and let the scooter store work for you.

If we pre -qualify you for a new scooter or power chair and Medicare denies your

claim, the scooter store allows you to keep your scooter or power chair at no

cost. That's the scooter store guarantee.

You don't qualify for Medicare?

No problem.

We'll work with your insurance company, even help with financing.

If there's a way, we'll find it.

When they delivered Mom's power chair, I expected they'd show her how to use it

once or twice.

That man stayed for hours.

You can tell they care.

Whatever it takes, as long as it takes, that's our guarantee.

Why do we go to such great lengths? Because making you mobile is our

We'll work with your doctor. We'll work with Medicare and your private

insurance. We'll even service your scooter anywhere in the country. So call

scooter store today. Find out what great lengths the scooter store will go to

for you.

Improve your mobility and your life. Call 1 -800 -313 -2039 for your free, no

-obligation information from the scooter store.

Call to find out if you pre -qualify for a brand new power chair or scooter.

That number again is 1 -800 -313 -2039.

1 -800 -313 -2039.

Hey, Bart.

Bart. Yeah. I think I got the solution to Jay's problem.

This is a phone number, Mr. C. Yes, that happens to be Milwaukee's marriage

hotline number. I'll bet they get a hundred cases like Jake's every day.

A hundred times a day?

What's our city coming to? Well, who cares?

I'm going to call them. I want to hear what they come up with. I want to put it

in my file.

Listen now, Mr. C., just before you do, I got this crazy idea. Let me try it out

on you, all right?

Shoot. Okay.

I get Susie and Jake together, right?

Then I get Jake so mad, I insult him, I insult him, and he starts to run at me.

I move out of the way, and he smashes his head right into your fireplace.

Then she sees that he loves her.

And then they get married, and they go off together into the sunset. You know,

it's great.

It'll never work. Yeah, well, you're probably right.

It's ringing.

Yeah. Mary Chopline?

Yeah, I'm calling for a friend of mine who... What the heck?

Listen, my wife has been complaining that I watch too much basketball in bed.

Yes, I'm Howard Cunningham.

She did what?

Marry him!

Next up, it's the Brady Bunch.

Thinking she's still in rehearsals, Susan Olsen sticks out her tongue as she

walks out of the kitchen.

Oopsies, they left it in.

Save Yourself Episode 71 is next, right here on TV Land.