Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days. Thursday, Friday,

happy days. The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

I've been free. Oh, happy days.

These days are ours.

Share them with me. Oh, baby. Goodbye, gray sky, hello, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

So right, it can't be wrong.

Rockin' and rollin' all we love.

Sunday,

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Groovin' all week with you.

These days are ours.

Hiya, writer.

Boy, did I have a good time last night.

The Fonz fixed me up with a Swedish masseuse.

That's nice.

Nice, she was wonderful.

First she did this to me.

Then she did this to me.

Then she did this to me. You know why? Because I did this to her.

Oh, boy,

Fonzie. Ingrid was wonderful. I don't know how to thank you.

Trust me, this ain't it.

You'll have to excuse him. He thinks she's a bib.

You know what?

I'm going to see her again tonight.

Because she said she's going to make me taller.

amazes me that I know him.

You're looking at a failure. I'm a failure. So, my friend, is Nancy

Roger, I'm going to give you one more opportunity to appreciate the fact that

am confiding in you.

All right. I'm sorry, Fines. It's just that when somebody who's as accomplished

as you are tells me he's a failure, I find it hard to lend credulity to it.

You are such a wordsmith.

I'm going to call up Johnny and Chachi.

Yeah? Depressed. Why? Because they can't get a record contract.

Their careers are going nowhere.

Oh, I wish I could help them.

Help them? Fonz, you've done nothing but help them their whole life. 18 -8

stuff. I'm talking about something big, you know, like Eisenhower did with golf.

Why don't they make a demo tape and send it to some of the larger record

companies? We tried it. They can't do it. Well, then why don't they go with

of the smaller companies, like Holstein Records right here in Milwaukee?

Good idea.

You think they'd listen to this tape? Probably not.

Why do you do this to me?

All right, Fonz, they might listen if somebody forceful, somebody big were to

help them out. You know, somebody who doesn't know the meaning of the word,

Someone who doesn't know the meaning of the word, quit.

Fonz, somebody who doesn't know the meaning of the words, stop.

I'm bleeding.

That's me. I can do this.

That's a great help.

Thank you, I could do anything for you. What do you want? Fonzie, would you

grade these papers for me? Yeah, sure.

They're nice.

Marion, why do we need new linoleum?

Because it's worn out, Howard.

We haven't changed anything in this house in 20 years.

It's like a museum.

Excepting we don't have a gift store.

Of course it's us. It's the same pattern we've had for the last 20 years.

Let's face it, Marion.

When you find something that you like, you stick with it, just like me.

All right, you can have the linoleum. But I'm going to put it in myself. It'll

save us a buck.

Hi, my name is Holstein, and I'd like to shake your hand.

What are you running for?

No, it's not that. It's just that, well, not everyone who hits someone's car

leaves a note on the windshield.

I didn't hit your car.

Hey, look, Matt, I don't know what your game is, but... Oh, dear.

Did you hit someone's car again and you didn't tell me?

Marion, I did not hit his car.

Don't listen to him, Marion. I have his written confession right here.

That's not my handwriting.

No? Then who left it? The bumper fairy?

I did.

You? You ran into my car?

Are you crazy? I happen to be a terrific driver. I took a sledgehammer to it.

Sledgehammer to my car? Yeah.

I mean, you're a very hard man to find, you know. I had to get you over here

somehow, right?

Wait a minute. You must be crazy.

Hey, call me crazy, call me bizarre, but here you are, right? You're gonna love

this. What do you mean, I'm gonna love this? You're gonna love this. This is

Joanie and Chachi's band.

Joanie and Chachi? This is Joanie and Chachi's band. Who cares? I'm leaving.

no, no. Mr. Guernsey, look. No, it's Holstein.

Holstein!

This happens to be my daughter. Give her a listen, huh? I want to tell you

something. Give your ears a party, all right? I'm going to fix your car. It's

going to be better than when you bought it, all right? Yeah? Yeah, I'm going to

throw in some snow tires.

Well, let me tell you something. You better fix my car because I happen to

a very fine attorney. And I want to tell you something right now. I want to know

what your name is. I want to know where you work. And I want to know that when

you... Look at me.

Soft as any touch can be.

Hey, that's not fair.

Not fair.

So are you going to sign them? No, I'm going to sign them.

Listen, I've made money with worse than this.

Listen, you get those kids to my studio on Monday and you got a deal.

We got a deal. We got a deal.

Mary, please.

Oh, Howard, it doesn't mean anything. Everybody kisses everybody in show

business.

There, you see?

Now, what's the point in getting somebody to do something when you can do

yourself? This floor is perfect.

And you saved a lot of money, Howard, if you don't count the days you had to

close the hardware store.

I'm sure glad we finished before Joanie and Chachi and the band got here.

Hey, Marion, have you seen my watch?

Yes, I have, Howard. It's really nice.

Marion, I'm talking about the watch that my football coach gave me, the one from

high school.

Oh, Howard, you were the water boy.

Yes, but a varsity letter is a varsity letter.

Oh, Howard, there's an air bubble.

Air bubble?

That's not an air bubble, Marion.

There is something under there.

Our floor is ticking, Marion.

My watch is under there.

I've got to rip up this linoleum. Oh, no, no, Howard, no, the children are

Will you just tell your brother to stop being a jerk?

Hi, Mom.

Hi, Dad. Thank you for letting us stay here, Mrs. Cunningham. Maybe Chachi's

being the jerk, Joanie.

Well, look, I'm glad to see you all again. Just make yourselves at home.

For sure.

Good night.

I mean, what about your lyrics? Like, I'm not going to my room. Boom,

boom. What is that? You're making fun of my life?

That really happened to me. Oh, give me a break. That never happened to me.

Up with people fighting.

And I do state fairs all over the world. And football games, they are just so

wonderful, excepting that one time they got all confused and spelled out up with

poople.

Well, now that there's a low in the conversation, what do you say we show

kids their room? Come on, everybody.

Up with poople.

You must be bingo.

Well, you must be psychic.

who is affectionate and eager to please.

Are you going to buy me a dog?

I think you're confused.

Let me help you.

You adore me.

You have always dreamed of me.

You are my love slave.

Oh, we sing your songs. I get to bed by the window because I like the breeze,

okay? And we do my songs because yours stink. Don't spit.

They stink. Oh, they stink. They stink. Well, listen, I've had it with you.

Well, I've had it with you. In fact, I have had it with you. Well, I've had it

with you, too. Fine.

Here are my happy faces of the group that I crammed into the elevator going

to dreamland.

What's the good word?

We're breaking up the band.

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Okay, here's the new rule.

There's not a word spoken in this room unless it is warm and lovely. And you

your tail in there.

What is this business about breaking up the band? I have no band.

Yeah, you've got no brains. I've got to tell you something. You know how long it

took me to get this gig set up for you? I appreciate that. I really do.

But I'm not going to let Marion and Ned push me around. Ah, there you go. Who is

the leader of your band? Me!

That's right. Then act like one. You know what a leader does?

He keeps everybody together.

Did you ever see that movie? What is it called?

They Die With Their Boots On. Seven times.

All right. So you've got to take your people into the studio the way Custer

his men into the battle.

Fonz, Custer's men died.

They did?

Yeah.

All right, so Custer was a moron.

But the thing is, he was leader enough, he was leader enough to get his men to

do what he wanted them to do. And so were you. And how?

Because you give and take. That's right, you give and take.

Sometimes you even compromise.

Don't hurt.

Even if that means putting your next face on a T -shirt?

Give me a minute on that one.

Sure, you can do that. Everybody can wear them inside out. All right. All

now get in there and do it. Be a leader.

There they are.

Joanie, Annette, Mario, my friends, my family, my band

members. He's up to something.

No, no, no. Listen, listen. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to do my

song this time, okay?

Everybody's face is going to be on the T -shirts, and Mario, you get the bed by

the window. Any problems with that?

Huh? Well, I get the good pillow.

Why should you get the good pillow?

If I got a sleep recording... Be a leader. Be a leader.

Yes, you get the good pillow.

Okay. I can accept that.

We did get the t -shirt.

And Willie sees what I do with the lunchboxes.

What? No.

Don't get excited.

They're empty.

My babies. Why did you get into them?

Hey, come on. Hey, please, Joanie. Get off his back. All he's trying to do is

keep his band from being scalped.

That's all.

All right, all right.

All right, let's go upstairs and listen to some lyrics.

Tomorrow, I want it to sound better than we ever have, okay?

Hey, you got an air bubble here. Flat as Kansas.

It's all right. I'm here to help.

Oh, Marion.

You don't know how many buckets of water I had.

worse? You could have been weird.

is everywhere.

Excuse me, sir, but this is the first time we've ever been in a recording

studio.

No.

Ah, hey, there you are. Joni and Chachi. Perfect.

Just what I thought you'd look like.

Excuse me, sir. I'm Joni and this is Chachi. Oh, thank God.

Mr. Hosting. That's right. Hey, smart.

You must be the brains of the outfit.

So, Ready to make Holstein a lot of moolah?

Moolah. Get it?

That's funny.

Good, good. I got a million of them. Okay, what do you say we get down to

business? We're ready.

Oh, by the way, I think you should ask your friends to leave.

Oh, no, Mr. Holstein, you tell them. My friends? They're not your friends?

Oh, no, I'm sorry. Well, they are my friends, but they're members of my band.

Why don't you step in here for a second? I want to talk to you for a minute.

Huh, Johnny? Chachi?

Just for a minute.

Try not to touch anything, huh?

When I heard your demo tape, the only thing I liked on it was your singing.

Now, I'm going to back you up with studio musicians.

Top notch.

Yeah, but what about our band?

Hey, kids, I thought this was your dream. I thought you ranked this right

there with, like, getting your driver's license, reaching puberty. I'm talking

about your own record. I know, but what about our friends? Yeah. Hey, wise up,

kids. Wake up.

They're only going to hold you back.

It's a dog -eat -dog world out there.

Yeah, and here, too.

Hey, all right. Don't listen to me. Maybe you don't want to be famous.

Maybe you don't want to be on the Ed Sullivan show.

Ed Sullivan?

You'd have to scrape my mom off the ceiling.

Maybe you don't want one of these babies, huh?

All right.

How are you going to tell him, Joanie?

Come on.

Hey, listen, kids. I know it's going to take a couple of minutes to think it

over. And I got a couple of phone calls to make, so... Hey, guys, take five,

huh?

It's the hosting.

No. I'm the leader.

And a leader sticks by his men, and they stick by him.

So if you want the Joni and Chachi sign, you're going to have to take us all.

Because that's the way we made it, by playing together.

The deal's off. Uh -huh. Hey, it's my fault. You see, uh, Holstein hated my

voice. Yeah. You know what he said? He said I shouldn't even be allowed to sing

in the shower. You know what he said?

You don't have to lie to us, Chachi. We heard everything over the intercom.

That's right, we did.

And, Chachi, I'm really sorry I called you a jerk.

You never did, Mario.

Well, I meant to.

Chachi, we just want you to know that no matter what terrible turns our lives

take, will always remember and cherish this moment when you placed our

friendship above your own personal gains.

I, for one, am proud to call you compadre.

Oh, that's beautiful, Bingo.

Comes in a good.

Well, look, the worst is over.

No, no, no, no, no. The worst isn't over, Judge.

Jonah, we just blew the chance of a lifetime. What could be worse than that?

Telling Fonzie about it.

Ooh. Oh.

Who's Fonzie?

Oh, isn't this wonderful?

Joanie and Chachi are having their dream come true.

I have to wear this silly hat.

I mean, this strap is cutting my chins.

They just pulled into the parking lot. Everybody ready? Roger, get the lights.

Surprise!

Mom,

Deb, what is this?

Well, it's just a celebration thrown by all us little people who... Love you and

knew you when?

Mom, we don't deserve this.

We really don't deserve this. I don't know how much we don't deserve this. I

don't want to hear that much modesty in one place. Come on, now. I just put you

on the road, but you drove to success, you know?

Fine. A funny thing happened on the road to success.

Look at me, I'm not hitting.

My hands are in my pockets.

So you gave up an opportunity that was going to change the rest of your life.

what? I just want to know why.

Johnny will tell you.

My hero.

Come on, you're making this very hard for us. Is that right? That's good. So

had a fight with Mario again, huh?

No, we were not fighting. My hands are coming out of my pockets. It was Mr.

Holstein. He wanted me in charge of the recording.

That is why. Why? You ran out on him, right? No. Well, let me tell you

something, Chachi. I am very proud of you. You understand that?

Don't worry, you're hurting me. Because you deserve better, that's why. That's a

good reason. Yeah.

I wanted to be the guy that gave you the big help, the big break, you know?

I was so selfish. No, no, no, you weren't. Oh, no, no, no, I was selfish.

You weren't. Don't interrupt me. All right. I'm having a moment here.

Where was I?

You were being selfish. Oh, I was being selfish.

I mean, here I was thinking about myself, you know, when your career was

down like the Hindenburg and flames were... I get teeth knocked on your

you're being dragged into the... Hans, little... Hans, I got it. Thank you.

You pushed it.

Now, listen, my friends, the most important thing is you stuck together,

Yeah. Is that better than all the fame and fortune in the world?

Nah. You're right.

But listen, keep your chins up, huh?

There are lots of record companies out there and I got a very big hammer.

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Oh, Howard, I hope the children aren't too disappointed about not making the

record. Well, Marion, you have to take the good with the bad. You know, just

way I miss my watch.

Hey, oh, listen, I'm very glad you brought that up, huh? I smashed one.

I bought one.

Oh.

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Wait till you see what Trigger does at midnight.

Next on the Brady Bunch, they're cousins, identical cousins.

Alice's militaristic double is in town. They could have used Andy Davis's real

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