Original subtitles

Friday, happy day, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, happy day. The week

ain't done, but I go home, ready to race to you.

These days are our happy days.

These days are our happy days.

In fact, it's got a little blue, old, and white, old jeans.

It can't be wrong, rockin' and rollin' all week long.

Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, wendy days. Thursday, my happy days. Saturday, what a day.

Ruben, I'll be with you.

These days are ours.

Shed them with me. These days are ours.

These happy days are yours. These happy days are yours. And my

happy days.

You know, it's nothing like a stress rate. Put your imagination in quotes.

My dear Fonky. I want to hear it. To be healthy just like that.

Great, great. And this be this one.

Well, I hadn't thought of that.

All right, here, sweetie. This be the elephant.

Hello, what is this?

Oh, I think that your mom got an invite from your grandparents today.

30th welding anniversary, girls.

Me neither. Says what?

Yes.

You know why I threw it away? Yeah, I'm just a kid. Okay.

You see, I think you do something very important away.

Oh, yeah, almost.

Fonzie, do me a favor. Put that back where you found it. Yeah, actually, this

an image in here. I mean, RSVIP.

I don't have the slightest intention of going.

Well, I'll tell you, if I didn't go for six years, I'd be there with you.

You know why she's not going?

I keep telling Fonzie I'm just a kid.

Remember that wonderful call you made Christmas?

You left a message for your parents. Maybe this is their way up to your face.

Come on home.

All right.

Now, when I first got the citation, I was very happy to hear from them, but

more I thought about it, the madder I got.

I mean, if they really were to straighten things out, they would not

invited me to a party with four other people.

It's obviously just for your own sake.

Yeah, I know, but Ashley, this is such a view. Look at this.

Letters. And, uh, on paper.

All right, kiss and goodbye. Kiss, folks.

Kiss, folks.

That woman's a rock.

I guess I'm never going to meet my parents.

The game ain't over till the curtain comes down. Let's put on a poker back to

her senses, all right? Right.

Get her.

Mommy!

Yeah?

Come watch our show, please. Okay.

Right there, best seat in the house.

Change the scenery.

Can you be the best? I will be the red riding light.

It's been an odd time for anyone to be barbecuing. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

I got these steaks from Max the Butcher. He got them from his brother in Canada

who raises beef for the Queen of England.

It's incredible.

They eat these steers, oh, every single day. And they had some extra cuts left

over this year because the Prince of Wales decided to become a vegetarian.

Oh, it's going to be a once in a lifetime.

I see you're eating.

I really don't want to disturb you or anything.

You know, I'm sorry.

Hello.

Oh, don't be silly. Join us for dinner, dear.

Marion,

we only got three steaks. Well, it's all right, Howard. We'll all care with

that. I guess I should eat something, you know.

Well, Howard, that's just that.

Well, that's where all the flavor is, Marion.

Fonz, what's the long face for?

Did they outlaw leather?

They'd never do that.

Mr. C, this is just fat.

Now, the thing is that I decided to go to her parents' 30th wedding

Isn't that wonderful,

Howard? I bet the Queen of England gets to eat a whole steak.

Ashley and her parents are getting back together.

Yeah, could you cut out the mm, please? I got a problem here.

All right, Ashley don't want to go.

What? Oh, that's too bad.

And I don't understand. I mean, they're going to have great food and everything.

It's going to be a... Yeah, but unless they eat at Buckingham, it's not going

take like that. All right, look, maybe this is none of my business, and maybe

I'm way off base, and I probably shouldn't even bring this up.

You're way out of line. It's none of your business, and bring it up.

Right. You see...

Her parents are going to take one look at you and think you're just like that

duck -tailed leather jacket. Hurry.

I think she doesn't want to put you in that situation.

Right here. Yes. Isn't that just like her? Thinking about my feelings. Is she

regular maybe -Vanzenhauer or what?

I'm going to let her off the hook. She can go to this party without me.

I solved the right here. I'll bring much. I thought you were going to finish

your stick. Yeah, right. There's a little puppy out there by the garage.

love it. You can have the rest of mine.

That's just the fat, Marion.

But that's where all the flavor is.

Luna, get up.

Ashley, my little sweetheart.

I'm telling you, I'm crazy about you. I mean that you're willing to take my

feelings into consideration. I deeply appreciate it. Oh, you're very welcome,

Poncho, but I have no idea what you're talking about. Of course you do. Of

course you do, my little sweetheart. I can tell what you're doing with one hand

tied by my back. You don't want to go to your parents' party because of me.

Oh, Fonzie, it has nothing to do with you. Oh, yeah? No, this is absolutely

between my parents and me. Oh, you're still holding on to that story.

You are a princess in a sea of men, you know that? Oh, Fonzie, you are one of

the most exasperating persons I know.

Thank you.

Don't realize that I'd be proud to take you anywhere at any time to meet anyone.

Is that true? Of course it is. Cross my heart. Then you will take me to your

parents' party, even though I'm a lug from the other side of the Jackson. I

don't know what spoon moves with a finger bowl.

Well, of course I would.

Well, Danny, sweetheart, I'll pick you up at 8 .15, all right?

And I want you to dress pretty because I intend to look great. You know what I

mean? We're going to have some fun. How do you do? It is such a pleasure to meet

you.

Farewell and bona fides.

So good. I should have been twins.

Oh, I'm going home.

The questions Carol never answered. Dear Carol.

Mrs. Wiggins is the greatest.

My ficus is losing its leaves. Is it dying? In its native habitat, the ficus

drops leaves to prepare for the dry season. Just keep it watered.

For the questions Carol did answer, watch Carol Burnett and Friends every

at 8 on TV Live.

Room service.

Oh, where's the... I can't believe it's not butter.

I need that rich butter tea.

Come with me.

I can't believe it's not butter. With sweet cream buttermilk for that rich

butter taste.

I can't believe it's not butter.

Outrageously great taste, but with no trans fats.

Do you have a minute for a cup of pop here? How about a milkshake?

A milkshake.

No one ever gave Jackie Callen a chance. Look, stick to what you know. You're a

secretary. So she took one on herself. You're a woman. You ain't never managed

nobody in your whole life.

I said they were nothing to worry about.

I'm not going to disappear just because I make some people uncomfortable. Omar

Epps. Do you always talk like this? Talk like what? Too much. Against the rules.

You've got to leave some room for sleep. Haven't you slept enough, son? Rated PG

-13. Starts Friday, February 20th. Only in theaters.

Introducing new Ultimates from Nestle Tollhouse.

New Ultimates are bake -at -home cookies like you've never seen before.

They're bigger, more decadent, with combinations like white amia nut and

chocolate lovers with three kinds of chocolate.

It's the ultimate cookie indulgence.

You're welcome.

But will your family notice?

New Ultimates Nestle Toll House. Try all four and make the very best.

You know those times you think you ought to have a salad, but what you really

need is something hot and you feel off the grill at Burger King. They feel you.

The new Fire Grilled Caesar Club Sandwich, made fresh for you. Chicken

with Caesar salad and crisp bacon, all on freshly baked bread.

It's like a salad in a sandwich.

Maybe they should call it a sandwich, or like a sandwich.

Now all our Fire Grilled Chicken Baguettes on fresh baked bread are

more satisfying than ever.

Come on over.

The fire's ready.

Good evening.

Ashley. Oh, my dear.

Beautiful to see a father and a daughter reunion.

Oh, oh, Bob, please don't. This is a fucker.

I knew that.

I was just practicing, you know, from when I met your father.

I'm so nervous, I don't think I can go through with this. Well, I can

your nervousness. But I suspect your father would be very happy to see you.

What about my... There are so many people here, you know, that you could

statehood.

Listen, let's go find your parents, all right? You better go back.

Andy, I know your mother sees me, she's going to say, you know, your hair looks

great, but it always looks better when it's shorter. Andy, she hates me when

in blue. I don't. I think you look great. I have no idea what I'm going to

to her.

What are you doing?

Well, put something to wash down all the wine that I had with dinner.

I have no idea what I'm going to say to her.

Yeah, well... Are you...

I haven't seen you drink water that fast.

I think I'm just getting an idea of what I'm supposed to say. Yeah, I don't

think I want to hear it.

Will you give me that? Would you give me that?

You know, find it? Yeah.

I was a little bit nervous at first, but I'm fine now. Are you?

There they are.

I'm very happy to see you. Yeah, you know, you've got a terrific house here.

That lawn must take a week in the morning.

Well, I have help.

Isn't that lovely, the two of you working side by side?

Melissa, doesn't Ashley look well?

Yes, she does.

But blue tends to make her look a little heavy. No, Melissa.

So, what are you doing with your life, Ashley?

Uh, Ashley, Ashley has got a great job. Tell them, Ashley.

Yeah, I got a great job. Not me, them, Ashley.

I work as a beekeeper. A beekeeper?

Bookkeeper. Bookkeeper. I got two jobs.

Boy, I'm a hard worker.

And what do you do, Mr.

Fonz... Fonzarelli.

Fonzarelli. He drives a motorcycle. He's really good at it. Oh, thank you so

much.

Now, why am I not surprised?

Well, Millicent, I'm sure that Mr.

Fonzarelli does something other than drive a motorcycle. Yes, I do. Yes, I

teach school. I own half a restaurant.

And a garage.

No doubt in the same building.

No, actually, you got me confused with Ed's for chicken and breaks.

I apologize for my wife's behavior. I should have told her that I had invited

Ashley. Oh, listen, I've got to tell you something. You raised a great girl

there. I mean, she's very dignified. I have never seen her like this.

Isn't that lovely? She brought drinks for all of us.

Simple Simon says put your hands above your head.

A Steinway. Oh, I love it when you get jealous, Fonky.

It's income tax time, you know?

Pass it, Paul. My parents are right there, but... Oh, what the heck.

That's great. I hear for six months about how terrible your parents are, and

then you act like a lunatic.

Here, drink this.

Ashley, I know, does not drink like a fish.

Well, Fonzie, everybody has to let their hair down sometimes.

Let their hair down? Honey, you were Rapunzel.

I know, it was stupid, but I was so nervous.

Come here, give me your hand.

Promise me, you will never drink for courage again.

I promise. I know it was wrong.

Fonzie, it's just that my parents have always expected so much of me, and I

I could never measure up.

so I guess I just figured that I would fail big.

Well, you did. You got an A in failing.

You know, before we went, I was so worried about me.

But next to you, I was David Nippin.

Fonzie.

Yeah.

Well, at least now we know my folks will never want to speak to me again, so I

stopped the crusade getting us back together again.

Are you expecting somebody?

No. Want me to get it? I'll get it. Can you make it? Yeah.

Don't mind us, my mother and my dad.

Yep, I recognized them from afar.

Now, don't you think it would be a great idea to let them in?

Fonzie.

Fonzie? Yeah.

Well, come in, Millicent. Come in.

Do you live here?

Millicent, that is none of our business.

Now, Mr.

Fonzie, you said something tonight. Something about our family running on

cylinder. Well, I think you're right, and I think we ought to fix that.

All right.

You said that?

Sounds like me, don't it? Yeah.

do not live here.

I know that I've let the fist of pride come between me and my own daughter.

acted more like a, well, a chairman of the board than a father.

So I'm asking you to give me a vote of confidence.

Will you give me another chance, Ashley?

But inside, I know you love this woman. I know there must be a hole in your life

when you gave her the old heave -ho.

What he said.

Closer, and now even closer.

Yeah.

Oh, Mom!

Oh, see, now this picture should be on velvet.

Darling, I spoiled your party. I really am. Oh, darling, it's all right.

The important thing is...

We're a family again.

Now, tomorrow morning, I'll send a man over to help you pack, and then we'll go

down to our store and go shopping. Mom, what do you mean, help me pack?

Well, you're a fister, dear, and a fister should live in the fister family

mansion. Until, of course, you have a mansion of your own. Oh, but, Mom, this

my apartment, and I really like it. No, you can't live here, dear. You call this

living? I mean the neighborhood. Oh, there's nothing wrong with the

neighborhood. Oh, ladies, how about we meet at my place?

Now, and I really don't like being treated like a spoiled child.

Didn't I tell you something like this would happen, George?

She's still just as stubborn as ever.

Let's go.

Yeah.

Millicent, I am staying.

Fine. I, for one, do not want to be immortalized on velvet.

Why, bullfight is lovely.

We turned our back on our daughter once, and we are not going to...

Father.

I know the guy that throws the raw meat to Polar Best. He can get you in for

free. Oh, no.

Fonzie, I think Daddy means to zoo at the house.

You've got a zoo?

Melusine.

She's going to see tigers. She's going to see lions, some hippos. And then my

favorite, the monkeys. They're going to jump from tree to tree. They're going to

sit in the middle of that, you know, inner tube. You can come, too. Thank you

very much.

Need a lift?

We'll take your lashes up, up, and amazing.

Almay Bright Eyes.

Mascara with a revolutionary dual -action brush for one, two, triple the

Bright Eyes from Almay.

Hypoallergenic.

Shh, they're coming.

Oh, what a time for a cold. Nose is running, head's all blocked up. I need

Alka -Seltzer Plus.

I'll get my Alka -Seltzer Plus.

Only Alka -Seltzer Plus has an effervescent cold -fighting formula to

nasal congestion and release you from your worst cold symptoms fast.

Were you surprised?

No, it works every time.

Effervescent Alka -Seltzer Plus breaks up your worst cold symptoms fast.

And if the flu strikes you, get back on your feet fast with Alka -Seltzer Plus

Flu.

Dad, this is dumb.

It's go time.

Oh, boy.

Here's one way to take computer help.

Target in sight.

Can I help you?

Not a word of this to your mother.

Hang on.

What do you want from me? I want you to make peace.

Go away.

Please. Don't go there. Go Dell. Hey, there's a reason people gave Dell an A

-plus for service and reliability.

First, Dell makes rock -solid PCs.

Then, they stand behind them 24 -7. Like this Dimension desktop with an Intel

Pentium 4 processor.

It's just $499 after mail -in rebate. And right now, pay no interest till

Plus, get free shipping.

A PC you can rely on. Thank you.

Easy as that. The LPC is an Intel Pentium 4 processor.

Did your family love home cooking? Then you're going to love Banquet

Homestyle Bakes. Now with improved homestyle taste.

Everything you need for homemade in minutes. The improved homestyle taste of

Banquet Homestyle Bakes. It's today's homemade.

Hello? Hey, Dad. Gina and I are taking the kids to Walt Disney World. Disney

World? Why don't you and Mom come with us? That sounds great. You call your

sisters? Disney World? Well, I thought you'd never ask.

We're in.

This year, gather with your extended family for a Walt Disney World vacation.

Just call 1 -800 -382 -2121 and order your free Walt Disney World vacation

planning kit. Can we get rooms close together?

Yep. And we can eat together?

Yep. And ride rides together? Yep. And meet Mickey together?

Yep. And we golf? Some of us can.

Funny. It'll give you tips on how easy it is to organize and plan a magical

gatherings vacation that everyone will enjoy. You'll find out about unique

experiences just for your group, special benefits, and how to stay at a Disney

resort for as little as $77 a night. What about your sister Maggie?

Maggie? Maggie? Yeah, Maggie.

Well, she's so busy with the cats and the crystals.

I'll get her on. Wouldn't want to bother her. Maggie? Hey, Maggie, it's Sarah.

Disney? That sounds great.

Bill, can I stay in your room?

No. Supplies are limited, so call 1 -800 -382 -2121 today.

I have a question.

Of course.

Although Elvis Presley is on this side, everybody else is on that side.

I want to know if what happens between Grandma and Mommy will happen with me

and Mommy.

Oh, I don't think in your lifetime.

I mean, you don't fight, do you?

Oh, sure we do. Like when Mommy won't let me eat ice cream before dinner, or

won't let me wear socks to bed.

Important stuff, yeah.

Well, listen, you know, mommies and daughters fight, right?

Yeah, I guess so.

The most important thing to remember, Heather, is no matter how mad you get at

somebody, you never have to stop loving them, you know?

Thanks, Fonzie.

I'll always remember that.

Thanks. All right.

Did you make a selection?

Yeah. Which one?

Okay, I want you to do me a favor in this area right here. Hit it very

Next on the Brady Bunch, ah, real grass and actual sunshine.

There's nothing like getting away from it all. It's a wild Brady road trip, but

please don't feed the bears.

Stay tuned for episode number eight, A Camping We Will Go.