Original subtitles

Sunday, Monday, happy days. Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race to you.

These days are ours.

Happy days.

These days are ours.

Oh,

baby. Gold bag, gray sky, yellow, blue.

There's nothing can hold me when I hold you.

So right, it can't be wrong, rockin' and rollin' for love.

Sunday, Monday, happy days.

Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days.

Thursday, Friday, happy days.

Saturday, what a day.

Rootin' all week with you.

T -Stage, you're out!

Wait a minute.

Why is everybody so excited about winning? It was only an inter -squad

Coach, are you kidding?

This is the only game we'll win all year.

Sit down, give your lips a rest.

Roger, Roxanne, Roxanne, Roger, please.

Roxanne. Oh, that's a very lovely name. Thanks, I was named after my dead uncle.

No orders are being taken. No money is being made. What am I, running into the

hobby?

Hey, Clary, get out of here.

I'm coming.

Make it fast. I'm busy defrosting the brushes. Fish.

Now, listen.

Would you please grab a pad and get some orders going here?

Wait a minute. I cook. I do the dishes. I'm the bouncer. Now you want me to wait

tables? No way. That's it. I quit.

I understand.

I really do. I'm sorry I asked him.

To think I was just about to make you my executive vice president.

Me? Really? Oh, yeah.

What do I get to do? Well, you get to cook. You get to wait on tables. You get

to boss people around.

Can I meet with the accountant?

That is... Fun for you.

Well, it's better than watering down to ketchup.

All right, Ike, give me five.

Tough little guy.

Look, Fonzie, surprise!

I changed my hair.

I am in awe.

Flip, get over here very quick.

That's enough for you?

Wait, how'd you like that? Oh, yeah, I needed the change to make it fall out of

his face.

You know what happened, Roxanne?

Listen, how would you like to take Roxanne home? You will like her. She is

college girl.

Nice hair.

Thanks. That was my major.

Roger, I got a problem.

I got dates at 7 o 'clock. I got them at 8 o 'clock and 9 o 'clock, 7 days a

week, sometimes more.

Yeah?

Which one is yours?

I am bored.

You know, Fons, I think you're beginning to desire more emotional depth in your

interpersonal relationships with the opposite sex.

What you're trying to do is you're trying to get more out of a woman than

a... I'm crazy, don't do that.

Not on me, anyway.

Yes, yes, I am losing the thing with multitudes of women, you know.

There's got to be something else. What is there? Art?

No, Raj, you really got your good looks. Don't push.

Did you hear that, Howard?

See, Arthur's getting tired of the old bippity -boppity -boo. Yeah, but our bet

still stands, Marion. Fonzie is not the type of guy who'll ever settle down.

I've just never seen him so low.

He was on his bike behind Arnold's holding a daisy, saying, They all love

I love them not.

Maybe a night dinner will cheer him up. I wouldn't count on him, Aunt Marion.

He's very, very depressed.

God bless you all. I'm the fool we're about to eat. I want to tell you, Mr. C,

you look great.

That's depressed.

I guess I should tell you because you're all my family, right? Moi is getting

married.

Who's the girl?

I went to Memphis to buy me some fruit of the looms, you know.

I'm on the up escalator.

She's on the down.

Our eyes meet. I drop my shorts.

No, no, no. Mr. C, the ones that are in the bag.

Fancy, who is the girl? What is her name?

Actually, I haven't spoken to her yet. I don't know.

Fancy, how are you going to marry her if you don't even know who she is?

That's right, Arthur. You'll need her name for the marriage certificate. At

least her initials for the towels.

Be of little faith.

I will find her.

And when I do, buy me a wedding gift. And you?

Give her a little bit more, will you?

Life is just a bowl of cherries.

Whatever,

we've got to put together.

Everybody, we've got to work as a team. And whoever finds this mystery lady will

be the proud owner of something that took me eight years to put together.

Every date in a tri -state area.

My black book.

Boss, what do I get?

You get to put your name in the book.

Boss, does this sketch look anything like her? All right, Bobby. First of

her eyes are much bigger.

Second of all, she had a chin.

Fellas, fellas, fellas.

Why not just use me as a model?

One vision of loveliness often resembles another.

Or so the poets say.

Okay. All right. All right.

All right, we'll use you there, Piccolo.

To begin with, her eyes were big and blue.

Not little squint balls like this.

And her mouth was luscious and full and thick.

Not little lines here with chap marks all over them. Nothing, you know.

And she did have a body. Okay, okay, that's enough.

Some men worship squinty eyes.

That's from my senior year.

I'm in the background of every sports picture going like this.

That man was high school fun.

Hey, Patsy. Yeah?

I think you're putting the brakes on my search here. Why don't you go back to

the hardware store and make some keys?

Mr. C won't let me do that anymore. Of course not.

How come you're drawing a picture of Ashley?

You know her?

Yeah, her name's Ashley.

Her name is Ashley what?

Ashley something. I don't know. No, no, you don't understand.

I have to know her last name there, Potts. I don't remember.

She came into my dad's gas station a couple of times. That's it.

Potts, isn't it true that when you're on the verge of death, you see your whole

life pass before your eyes?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I studied about that. It has something to do with

stimulation during periods of great fear. I see her pulling up to the pumps.

She says, well, all right. I see her at the regular.

She says, Apple, could you please check the oil? What is her name, Pottsie?

Ashley. Ashley what? Her name is Ashley... Fist. Fister.

Ashley Fister.

That's it.

All

right,

listen.

What you just did, I'm going to take back every malicious, ugly, and low

remark I have ever made about you, Potts.

Even when you call me donkey breath?

This is hard enough, Patsy. This is hard enough, all right? All right, now this

is for you, Warren.

Both hands.

Do not let this get into the hands of children, all right?

Ashley Pfister, from now on, every day of your life is going to be the Fourth

July.

I get one of these every Christmas from my insurance agent.

Mrs. Quiggins, that gown is gorgeous.

Tuck, tuck, tuck.

Carol Burnett in France is coming to TV Land. We are talking about national TV

here. Tune in for our 48 -hour marathon.

It's on at 10 .30.

Actually, it's on all weekend long.

Well, forgive me for living. Two straight days of unforgettable skin.

Watch the Carol Burnett and Friends Marathon all this weekend on TVLent.

Aha! So it's you, Dad.

Give me a minute to make my case.

Kool -Aid. Stir up some smiles.

Okay, Dad.

Case dismissed.

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Excuse me, little girl, could you help me out?

Does Ashley Pfister live in this apartment?

No.

Does Ashley Pfister live here in this apartment?

Thank you.

You're welcome.

It's me again. We met in the hall. That doesn't make us strangers no more. Can

we chat?

I guess so.

Is your daddy home?

No. Oh, all right.

When is your daddy coming home?

Mommy says when hell freezes over.

I like that.

I like that.

Can I talk to your mommy?

And what are you here for?

This is tear gas, not a large mouth.

Don't you remember, Meckley?

I was on the up, you were on the down.

We smiled.

You mean just because we smiled at each other, that gives you the right to barge

in here and I'm supposed to ride off into the sunset with you?

Yeah.

No. Get out of here.

Uh, listen, I... I'd just like to do one thing first with you, all right?

And then if you still want me to go, I'll remember you, all right?

Put down the pepper shaker, please.

I'm standing here. My hands are in my pocket.

All I want to do is stare in your eyes for ten small seconds.

And then you promise you'll leave?

If at that time you still want me to go.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten. I believe that's ten and the door is that way. I think we have to do this

again. You're not getting the game. I understand perfectly.

You can't ask me to leave. I gave my black book away and everything.

Black book? What are you talking about?

Don't forget to hit label side up.

I'm going.

I'm going. Listen, if you change your mind, my number is Klondike 5 -1 -3 -1

You remember that, right? Oh, okay. Hey, call collector.

Someone who will never set foot in this house again.

Too bad.

I thought it was cute.

Mary, why don't you sit down and watch Bananza with me, huh? You'll love this

one. Little Joe's getting married to an island princess from Hawaii.

No way.

They're not gonna get... me this time. Every time one of those cartwright boys

falls in love, the girl always ends up on Boothill.

Well, you know, she is awfully pretty.

Hi, folks.

It's Fonzie down here. I've got to find out how things have been with this

mystery woman. We haven't seen her, Rod.

So, huh, buddy? Huh?

Tell me.

How'd it go with this Ashley Fisher? Was she everything you expected?

Nothing's the matter.

Kissing the bride.

Now she's Maki Maki Cartwright.

How could you watch this?

Don't you know that people sit around making this stuff up? This isn't life.

Life is a bowl of prune kids.

What's that?

Is that a cattle stampede?

That is reality.

Love being trampled in the dirt.

I take it things didn't go so well with this Ashley Pfister. What, didn't you

like her?

Of course I liked her.

She is everything I ever dreamed of. Except she is stupid.

Mr. C, I offered her everything and she turned me down.

So, you try again.

Oh, no. This girl gets one shot at the brass ring.

Now, look, Fonzie, this girl to me sounds different. Now, you've got to

snapping your fingers and call her up and ask her out for some coffee.

You've got to start from square one like a normal person.

Start at square one?

He dates girls at square one.

And do you see him with a girl now?

All right, look, Fonzie, I think your pride is getting in the way of the type

relationship you're looking for. And I don't have a date because it's Sunday

night.

and go call her up. You know, you guys are something.

You're acting like this girl means something to me.

I laugh at that.

She's in the archives, huh? Let me tell you something.

I am now going out and I am going to have some fun. You understand that?

It is Sunday night, you know.

With the suit.

Your vice president is meeting with the account today.

You like it? I stole it from my brother.

Oh, is your brother a little person, too? No, he's seven.

Yeah, well, you look great. Just keep me out of jail, all right? Okay.

And why don't you just play with your split ends?

President. Nice to meet you. All right, time is money. Let's get started.

No, get me off.

Clarence.

I'm in a meeting.

Get over here.

Why didn't you tell me that he was a she?

You're going to beat me up over a pronoun?

The fact of the matter is, you were taking the vice president, but that

suit. Why don't you take Roxanne anywhere?

Wow, what a company.

Give me five.

Nice hair.

Nice sleeve.

Well, I certainly hope that you got your refrigerator fixed.

Look, I don't know who you are or why you are following me, but if you don't

stop, I will have the owner throw you out.

That's going to be a little difficult to do because I am the owner.

I haven't said this to you before, but my name is Arthur Fonzarelli.

I would appreciate it if we kept this on a strictly business level, Mr.

Fonzarelli.

Call me Fonzie.

Fonzie? Yeah.

Let go of my hand.

Maybe you should get someone else to handle your room. Oh, no, I think we're

doing just great.

You know, Miss Vista, I'm very, very sorry that I barged into your apartment

yesterday.

This might sound very old -fashioned, but here we go.

I would like the honor of calling you on the telephone and asking you out to a

movie, an indoor one, at which time I will wear a wonderful sport jacket, 100

wool, and we would start from square one.

I don't think so.

I asked you nicely, didn't I?

I was going to kill you to go out with me once. Look, I met a guy like you

In fact, I married him.

But he never grew up. He never took responsibility. And one day, he just

off without me, and I do not intend to make the same mistake twice.

I dig that.

I understand that.

Now, I'm very sorry that you met and married a bum, but I am not he.

I mean, if I had a wife and a daughter, I would not run out on them.

And you want to talk about responsibility? I am a pillar.

We're talking pillar.

I am nothing like your ex -husband.

Really? Yeah.

What kind of a motorcycle do you ride? A beautiful Harley.

You are exactly like him.

I think I can do the rest of this at home.

Look, Miss Vista.

I understand that I might look like your ex -husband on the exterior, but if you

took some time and you wanted to look inside, you would see I was a little

different when I saw you on the escalator. You know, at Metcliffe?

And our eyes met.

I'm telling you, I saw somebody who was looking for somebody. How, you might

ask. Because every morning when I look in the mirror, I see somebody.

Looking for somebody. And perhaps, just perhaps, we are looking for each

other.

You're never going to know unless you take the chance, Miss Vista.

Goodbye, Mr. Ponserelli. I will mail these back to you.

questions. You could take me out for a little dinner Friday. A little one, no

hors d 'oeuvres.

See you Friday.

I'm very much looking forward to this, Miss Vista.

So tell him it's a trouble to get lost. Next year.

The 2004 TV Land Awards, coming in March.

Almost there. A little more. Look, Dad, a quarter.

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Just the way you look tonight

Just the way you look

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I guess it's about time to leave, right?

Am I right? I mean, is it... Is it that time to leave?

Yes. Yes, it is.

We had coffee. We did. We talked.

Yeah. It was nice.

I never had anybody say nice to me before.

Then again, I never had anybody say goodnight at the door before. Can I see

tomorrow night again?

Can I think about it? I'll give you ten seconds. One, two... I have to get up

early. Can I say yes now?

Goodnight. Goodnight.

Just a minute. You.

Who am I kidding?

Bye, great guy. Hello, boo.

You can hold me when I want you. Stay tuned for The Brady Bunch. It's Susan

Olsen's most embarrassing episode.

She dresses up like Shirley Temple and sings The Good Ship Lollipop. It might

have worked in season one, but in episode 115,

ouch. Stay tuned. It's coming up next.