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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,270 --> 00:00:02,590 Monday, Monday, happy days. 2 00:00:02,830 --> 00:00:04,990 Tuesday, Wednesday, happy days. 3 00:00:05,350 --> 00:00:07,570 Thursday, Friday, happy days. 4 00:00:07,810 --> 00:00:11,870 The weekend comes, my cycle hums. Ready to race for you. 5 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:16,650 These days are our happy days. 6 00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:21,970 These days are our happy days. 7 00:00:23,030 --> 00:00:24,990 Goodbye gray sky, hello blue. 8 00:00:25,270 --> 00:00:28,810 There's nothing can hold me when I hold you. So right. 9 00:00:29,180 --> 00:00:30,180 You can't be wrong. 10 00:00:30,360 --> 00:00:32,640 Rockin' and rollin' all week long. 11 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:37,440 Monday, 12 00:00:43,580 --> 00:00:45,160 Monday, happy days. 13 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,640 Today, happy days. 14 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,240 Thursday, Friday, happy days. 15 00:00:49,560 --> 00:00:51,600 Saturday, what a day. 16 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,560 Groovin' all week with you. 17 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,800 I'll push you through. Now, Patsy, will you stop that? 18 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:25,520 Marion! 19 00:01:27,300 --> 00:01:30,800 I'm sorry. I thought you would have sense enough to go in the other door. 20 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:32,560 Would you please move these? Yes. 21 00:01:33,780 --> 00:01:34,779 I'm sorry. 22 00:01:34,780 --> 00:01:35,780 Are you all right? 23 00:01:35,980 --> 00:01:38,420 Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. Will you stop rushing me? 24 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:40,960 What is all this stuff? 25 00:01:41,180 --> 00:01:42,840 I don't know, but they're for Arthur. 26 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:44,640 Well, no air holes. 27 00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:45,878 Air holes? 28 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:47,780 Yeah. Girls mail themselves with the fonts. 29 00:02:02,060 --> 00:02:03,060 is my high five. 30 00:02:03,580 --> 00:02:06,820 Let's get this out of their way. I'll take a tweet and you take a woof. Right, 31 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:07,840 right. 32 00:02:08,020 --> 00:02:09,020 See you later. 33 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,900 What kind of a skirt is that? 34 00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:19,820 Now you take that off right this minute and put it back on one of your dolls 35 00:02:19,820 --> 00:02:20,820 where it belongs. 36 00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:25,140 Look what came for you today. I think it's another college acceptance. 37 00:02:25,620 --> 00:02:27,300 Open it quick. This is so much fun. 38 00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:32,320 I was accepted to UCLA. 39 00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:40,500 Oh, dear, give it to me. I want to put this in your baby book, in there with 40 00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:41,500 your ponytail. 41 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:47,580 Is this exciting, Howard? Sure, sure, sure. But she's already been accepted to 42 00:02:47,580 --> 00:02:51,480 the University of Wisconsin right here in Milwaukee, so she'll probably be 43 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,480 there. But I thought it was my decision. 44 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:58,100 Well, it is your decision, sweetheart. But if you go to UWM, you can live right 45 00:02:58,100 --> 00:03:02,300 here at home, and you'll have a nice... safe place to keep that brand new shiny 46 00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:03,300 car. 47 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:04,760 New car? 48 00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,180 Howard, you're bribing your daughter. 49 00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:11,060 No, I'm not. It's just an inducement. It's a reward. 50 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,380 It's a... A bribe. A bribe, yes. It's a bribe and a good way back. 51 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:21,140 Oh, yeah. Excusez -moi. Last trip or I will be out of here in like no time. Be 52 00:03:21,140 --> 00:03:22,940 careful with him. Come on. Come on. 53 00:03:33,450 --> 00:03:36,510 You gotta make up your mind this week. Arrangements have to be made. Now, 54 00:03:36,510 --> 00:03:38,750 it gonna be? Do I buy a brand new car? 55 00:03:38,990 --> 00:03:42,190 Or do we spend all that money on plane tickets to Los Angeles? 56 00:03:46,990 --> 00:03:49,910 I can't climb the stairs when I can't see my feet. 57 00:03:52,590 --> 00:03:54,850 Huh? Oh, Webber? Yeah? 58 00:03:55,270 --> 00:03:59,430 You dropped my high -five with the AM -FM multiplex unit. 59 00:03:59,930 --> 00:04:02,230 With dual -channel capabilities, huh? 60 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:05,320 In a simulated wood grain cabinet. 61 00:04:05,800 --> 00:04:08,080 And you dented my tweeter. 62 00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:12,640 Fonz, Fonz, I know where the company's located. 63 00:04:12,940 --> 00:04:15,920 The factory's in Seattle. I'm going to go right now and get you a new one. 64 00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:19,339 Carry on. 65 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,940 Jones, I'm glad you're here. 66 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,320 Major news flash. Take a look at this. 67 00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:33,340 Joni Cunningham. Well, thank you. Jenny, but I already know my name. 68 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,259 Oh, sure. 69 00:04:34,260 --> 00:04:35,260 Go ahead and joke. 70 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:39,500 But each girl nominated for homecoming queen is supposed to wear one of these. 71 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,880 You nominated me homecoming queen, Jenny? And you should have heard the 72 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:45,200 that I gave the nominating committee. 73 00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:49,620 I made you sound like a cross between Madame Curie and Sandra Dee. I thought I 74 00:04:49,620 --> 00:04:51,460 was going to make myself sick. Jenny! 75 00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:56,840 Are you sure you want to do all the work to let me be homecoming queen? 76 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:57,959 Of course. 77 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,820 Guys love a homecoming queen. 78 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,420 But I have a boyfriend. 79 00:05:01,820 --> 00:05:05,140 That's the genius of it. I get to snap up all the extras. 80 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:08,960 Sure, and I want you to practice the wave. 81 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:10,620 It's very important. 82 00:05:11,080 --> 00:05:12,080 Come on. 83 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:19,280 Jody, hi. 84 00:05:19,540 --> 00:05:22,900 Hi. You want something? No, no, I was just practicing my wave. 85 00:05:23,100 --> 00:05:25,120 Jenny nominated me homecoming queen. 86 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,760 Fantastic. Here's this wonderful... 87 00:05:28,170 --> 00:05:31,310 First, it's all those college acceptances, and now homecoming quick. 88 00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:38,610 Why am I the only one smiling? 89 00:05:39,230 --> 00:05:44,270 Oh, I'm sorry, Al. Can I ask you something? It's really important. What? 90 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:48,230 Important? Yeah. You mean you want my advice about something? 91 00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:52,330 Okay. I have to decide about college, and I'm not sure what to do. 92 00:05:52,690 --> 00:05:55,150 College. Wow. Hey, that is important. 93 00:05:55,470 --> 00:05:56,409 Yeah. 94 00:05:56,410 --> 00:05:57,570 First, let me get... 95 00:05:58,039 --> 00:05:59,760 college thinking in my head. 96 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:02,699 Go ahead. 97 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:03,700 Okay. 98 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:08,600 If I feel very strongly that I should do one thing, and my father feels just as 99 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:12,360 strongly that I do something else, should I stand up for what I think is 100 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,240 even though it's going to make him very angry? What do you think, Al? 101 00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:18,700 Al? 102 00:06:19,220 --> 00:06:20,220 Al? 103 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,400 Al! Yes, Jody is absolutely right. 104 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:25,940 It's important, yes. 105 00:06:28,220 --> 00:06:30,340 Yeah, but I wanted what my father was. 106 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,240 Well, you see, that is an important question because if I give you the wrong 107 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:38,400 answer, I could destroy your life. I could destroy your entire life with one 108 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,600 wrong answer. I mean, the answer's important to us. What was the question? 109 00:06:42,600 --> 00:06:46,840 know the question, Julie. I'll get an answer for you. I will get an answer for 110 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:48,040 you. You just wait and see. 111 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:50,100 Clarence, I got a question for you. 112 00:07:01,520 --> 00:07:03,680 The friction from the fork could set your lips on fire. 113 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,180 Marion, I am just anxious to hear Joanie's decision as to which college 114 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:10,899 going to do. 115 00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:14,760 Whether she's going to go to UWM or Brand X. 116 00:07:15,420 --> 00:07:18,340 We are being fair here. They're both very fine schools. 117 00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:19,980 Well, of course they are. 118 00:07:20,220 --> 00:07:23,040 But there's a Cunningham tradition here. 119 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,320 I mean, Richie went to UWM. 120 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:27,380 Richie went there. That's tradition? 121 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:29,420 Tradition has to start somewhere. 122 00:07:30,920 --> 00:07:32,280 Come on, which college is it going to be? 123 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:33,700 Well, I've made my decision. 124 00:07:35,460 --> 00:07:37,420 You're not going to UCLA, right? 125 00:07:37,720 --> 00:07:38,720 No. 126 00:07:39,020 --> 00:07:40,580 She's going to UWM! 127 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:42,920 Mom, Dad! 128 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,440 Wisconsin! I'm not going to college at all. 129 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:54,260 Why doesn't the beaver ever learn 130 00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:55,260 his lesson? 131 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,720 He's often taught his lesson. 132 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,500 He promises to remember his lesson, but the next day he's forgotten his lesson. 133 00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:03,960 Is he deliberately ignoring his lesson? Not exactly. 134 00:08:04,180 --> 00:08:08,100 New evidence suggests that Beaver's lesson enters one ear, floats around his 135 00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,700 head for a few seconds, but avoids having any contact with his brain before 136 00:08:11,700 --> 00:08:13,520 exiting out the other side of his skull. 137 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:19,820 Oh, so that's it. Learn your lesson. Watch Leave it to Beaver, only on TV 138 00:08:20,100 --> 00:08:22,140 I hope it will be a good lesson to you. 139 00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:40,980 Six pounds. 140 00:08:41,460 --> 00:08:44,460 That's how much you could lose in two weeks with the Special K Challenge. 141 00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:49,540 Replace two meals with two bowls a day for two weeks and lose up to six pounds. 142 00:08:49,620 --> 00:08:51,480 Take the Special K Challenge today. 143 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:57,180 I can assure you the bank's closing costs are very competitive. 144 00:08:57,500 --> 00:09:01,060 I'll just open these blinds to let in a little extra life. 145 00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:07,980 Save big money on lender closing costs with the $395 Dytek One Fee. 146 00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:14,510 The $395 Ditech One fee. Why pay more? 147 00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,810 Lost another loan to Ditech. 148 00:09:18,130 --> 00:09:22,290 Log on to Ditech .com or call 1 -800 -DIETECH -1. 149 00:09:22,690 --> 00:09:29,630 She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini that she wore 150 00:09:29,630 --> 00:09:31,290 for the first time today. 151 00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:35,730 An itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. 152 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:40,600 New news from Yo Play Lite. 153 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:44,420 It's clinically shown to help you burn more fat and lose more weight than just 154 00:09:44,420 --> 00:09:45,520 cutting calories alone. 155 00:09:49,260 --> 00:09:52,520 Yo Play Lite. Burn more fat, lose more weight. 156 00:09:55,980 --> 00:09:57,460 Marion, what did she say? 157 00:09:57,740 --> 00:09:59,140 She said she's not going to college. 158 00:10:00,220 --> 00:10:04,280 What do you mean you're not going to college? That's what I mean. I'm just... 159 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,239 college yet. 160 00:10:06,240 --> 00:10:09,060 All right, then what are you worrying about? You don't have to go until 161 00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:13,180 September. Joanie, you are making the biggest mistake of your life. Oh, Dad. 162 00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,960 Laurie Beth, tell her she's making a big mistake, huh? 163 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,600 Oh, well, I don't want to butt into family affairs. 164 00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:19,900 Well, you're family now. 165 00:10:20,340 --> 00:10:23,700 Okay. I think Joanie has a point here. 166 00:10:23,940 --> 00:10:26,720 I've always thought that... Do I hear the child crying? 167 00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,060 I don't hear anybody crying. 168 00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,240 Yes, that one. Yes, I hear... 169 00:10:34,830 --> 00:10:38,450 Now, you listen to me, Joanie. This is a parent's decision, and as a parent, I 170 00:10:38,450 --> 00:10:40,790 am ordering you to go to college. I second that. 171 00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:43,070 You can't tell me what to do. 172 00:10:43,590 --> 00:10:45,650 I'm 18 years old. I'm an adult now. 173 00:10:45,970 --> 00:10:48,210 If I don't want to go to college, I'm not going. 174 00:10:48,490 --> 00:10:50,630 Oh, so you want to be an adult, huh? 175 00:10:50,930 --> 00:10:54,910 Okay. How about no more allowance, huh? How about starting to pay for your 176 00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:55,910 meals, huh? Yeah. 177 00:10:56,370 --> 00:10:57,950 What's this, Marion? About a buck and a half? 178 00:11:04,060 --> 00:11:05,060 Joanie, dear. 179 00:11:05,740 --> 00:11:11,260 Joanie, we have always dreamed of sending our children to college. Now, I 180 00:11:11,260 --> 00:11:13,020 especially dreamed that for you. 181 00:11:13,360 --> 00:11:18,020 It's always been so hard for women, and now it's all opened up out there. 182 00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:22,120 And if you don't have a college education, you're going to end up like 183 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,400 you don't want to end up like your mother. 184 00:11:25,020 --> 00:11:27,660 Marion, what do you mean end up like you? I thought you were happy. 185 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:31,690 Well, I am, Howard, but it's all... bothered me that I didn't finish 186 00:11:31,790 --> 00:11:36,610 There was so much for me to learn there and so many great ideas to be absorbed. 187 00:11:37,210 --> 00:11:40,330 I mean, the Reader's Digest just covers so much, Howard. 188 00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,890 You're going to go to college now while you have the chance. 189 00:11:46,090 --> 00:11:48,570 But, Mom, I don't know what I want to do right now. 190 00:11:48,850 --> 00:11:51,590 Fine, then don't know what you want to do while you're going to college. 191 00:11:53,870 --> 00:11:54,890 Fat chance. 192 00:11:55,850 --> 00:11:58,510 Joan, don't talk to your father like that. You 193 00:12:12,270 --> 00:12:16,310 I'll spin you a stack of wax. I got these terrific records, you know. 194 00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:22,530 So we'll do it some other time. 195 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:23,509 Fine, fine. 196 00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:24,630 You gotta help me. Yeah. 197 00:12:25,030 --> 00:12:26,990 They want me to go to college. I don't want to go. 198 00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:28,650 You're pulling my leg. 199 00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:30,650 No, I'm not. I don't want to go. 200 00:12:30,890 --> 00:12:32,550 What, are you going to do Step on the American Dream? 201 00:12:32,910 --> 00:12:37,620 Oh, come on. Hey, you know what college is? College is rah -rah. College is ivy 202 00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:38,419 -colored halls. 203 00:12:38,420 --> 00:12:43,080 It's maternity row cheerleaders. It's lockers and it's libraries and it's 204 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:46,500 wonderful studying, you know, and filling your brain and everything. 205 00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:47,880 college is. And you're going. 206 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:49,120 No, I... 207 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:10,540 But you go, go, go, go! 208 00:13:35,870 --> 00:13:36,870 Don't worry about it. Okay. 209 00:13:37,110 --> 00:13:38,110 I'll see you later. 210 00:13:38,930 --> 00:13:41,370 Oh, Chach, you know your band is hot. 211 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:43,090 H -O -T. 212 00:13:44,230 --> 00:13:45,230 Hot. 213 00:13:45,970 --> 00:13:47,270 What's the matter, Jenny? You're welcome. 214 00:13:47,490 --> 00:13:49,210 I'm going to go talk to Fonz. I'll see you later. Bye -bye. 215 00:13:55,030 --> 00:13:57,650 Fonz, I've got to talk to you about Joanie. Yeah, oh, let me show you 216 00:13:57,750 --> 00:13:59,610 Chachi. Look what I just got for my stereo, huh? 217 00:13:59,910 --> 00:14:01,870 Sound effects record. Yeah, great. Listen to this. 218 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:03,690 I got hair growing. 219 00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:10,480 the sound of butterflies burping, and the ever -controversial tree falling in 220 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,860 empty forest. Yeah, I heard that. You heard that? 221 00:14:13,380 --> 00:14:15,520 I have to talk to you about Joanie now. 222 00:14:15,820 --> 00:14:18,440 Well, yeah, she's going to be a beautiful homecoming queen. 223 00:14:20,020 --> 00:14:23,900 Jenny, stick another one of those signs on my back. Oh, yeah. This is a little 224 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,760 bit. Here, peruse this over here. 225 00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,120 Joanie Cunningham for homecoming queen. 226 00:14:31,060 --> 00:14:33,300 And Jenny Piccolo for anything else. 227 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:38,600 942. I'll tell you something. I came in here, I caught her trying to carve that 228 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:39,600 right into my desk, you know? 229 00:14:39,800 --> 00:14:43,980 That chick is definitely driving down the highway to Loon City. I know that, 230 00:14:43,980 --> 00:14:46,140 I'm a lot more concerned about Joanie right now. 231 00:14:46,340 --> 00:14:47,340 942. 232 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,820 Yeah, I'll tell you, I was over there, you know, and I yelled at her pretty 233 00:14:50,860 --> 00:14:51,860 I guess I should talk to her. 234 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:55,320 Maybe you could get Mr. and Mrs. C to listen to her. And let her explain why 235 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,000 doesn't want to go to college. I can't do that, Josh. I'm not going to mix in 236 00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,780 family business, you know? You know, I bet if Richie were here, he'd talk to 237 00:15:00,780 --> 00:15:02,660 her. Yeah, sure. Richie is their son, Josh. 238 00:15:06,090 --> 00:15:08,390 Mr. and Mrs. C think of you as a son, don't they? 239 00:15:10,350 --> 00:15:11,029 They do. 240 00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:13,270 You're like family, Fon. I am. 241 00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:14,510 You're like a son. 242 00:15:14,990 --> 00:15:16,450 I'm like a son. Right. 243 00:15:17,430 --> 00:15:23,170 Listen, when you're sick, who takes care of you, huh? Oh, Mr. C. Mm -hmm. 244 00:15:23,730 --> 00:15:27,330 And at Christmas time, who takes you to see Santa Claus? 245 00:15:29,510 --> 00:15:30,730 Mr. C. Right. 246 00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:35,010 I bet you can do just as good a job as Richie. Are you kidding? Better. Much 247 00:15:35,010 --> 00:15:36,010 better. Yeah. 248 00:15:36,910 --> 00:15:38,930 Joanie can really use a member of the family on her side. 249 00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:42,690 Okay. All right. All right. I'll talk to Mom and Dad. Thanks. 250 00:15:43,650 --> 00:15:44,650 Judge. 251 00:15:45,550 --> 00:15:47,890 The part about going to see Santa Claus, right? 252 00:15:48,330 --> 00:15:50,950 To everybody else, I was just shopping, you know? All right. All right. 253 00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:00,070 Howard, are you asleep? 254 00:16:00,890 --> 00:16:02,110 Yes, I am, Marion. 255 00:16:02,330 --> 00:16:05,950 Oh, I'm sorry, dear. I'm just reading this interesting article how plants 256 00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:10,400 react... to affection, just like humans. So if you could talk to your plants 257 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:12,740 just the right way, they'll grow up how you want them to. 258 00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:17,020 Maybe we should have had a geranium instead of a daughter. 259 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,160 Try to get some sleep, honey. Okay, dear. Good night. 260 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,380 Good night, Sylvia. 261 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:30,220 Oh, Howard, maybe Joanie changed her mind. Come in. 262 00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,440 I'm so glad you're still awake. 263 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,400 Maybe you didn't notice. Weird and bad hair. 264 00:16:38,640 --> 00:16:42,120 Oh, so I'm going to be in and out just like the Sandman. Hey, why don't I sit 265 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:45,620 down? No, no. Why don't you just slide up here between us? 266 00:16:45,820 --> 00:16:47,100 Oh, come on, Mr. C. 267 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:48,820 It's not a bad idea. 268 00:16:53,740 --> 00:16:55,260 I bet Richie did this, huh? 269 00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:58,660 Yeah. When he was four and it was thundering. 270 00:16:59,840 --> 00:17:03,260 Let's get down to business. Let's talk about Joanie and going to college, you 271 00:17:03,260 --> 00:17:05,839 know? I think maybe she's old enough to make up her own mind. 272 00:17:06,890 --> 00:17:10,190 Joanie is too young to understand what's at stake here, Fonzie. 273 00:17:10,490 --> 00:17:13,030 Believe me, she needs to go to college. 274 00:17:13,390 --> 00:17:15,970 Yeah, but I think that we're being a little unfair. 275 00:17:16,170 --> 00:17:20,310 I think that we should give her some room so that she could tell us the 276 00:17:20,310 --> 00:17:24,250 she don't want to go, right? Well, I appreciate your concern here, Fonzie, 277 00:17:24,250 --> 00:17:25,630 this is really a family decision. 278 00:17:28,150 --> 00:17:29,150 I see. 279 00:17:29,770 --> 00:17:31,230 A family decision. 280 00:17:34,030 --> 00:17:35,030 I'm not family. 281 00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:39,090 I'm certainly family when you want me to fix your car. 282 00:17:39,470 --> 00:17:42,670 If you want me to put an antenna on your roof, you say, hey, son, lend me a 283 00:17:42,670 --> 00:17:43,509 hand, huh? 284 00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:46,530 But it's climbing, bedding, so long, stranger, huh? 285 00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,430 So, I understand. 286 00:17:49,370 --> 00:17:50,370 You're family. 287 00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:51,449 I'm a tenant. 288 00:17:51,450 --> 00:17:52,450 That's fine. 289 00:17:52,510 --> 00:17:54,410 Hey, I can dig in. I can dig in. 290 00:17:55,250 --> 00:17:56,810 Let me just tell you one thing. 291 00:17:57,390 --> 00:18:01,430 There are plenty of other people who would love to take me to see Santa 292 00:18:23,500 --> 00:18:24,399 to wake you too. 293 00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:27,020 No, I couldn't sleep. I've been up thinking about college. 294 00:18:27,320 --> 00:18:30,540 Oh, then you've come to your senses. You've decided to go to school, huh? 295 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,320 No, I'm still not going. 296 00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:37,740 Dad, I think that if you just listen to what I have to say... 297 00:18:37,740 --> 00:18:42,080 You're hurting bad. 298 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,920 I mean, all these years I thought like I was part of the family, you know? Hey, 299 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,020 a delusion. 300 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:51,200 Obviously. 301 00:18:52,189 --> 00:18:55,390 Obviously, I'm just the guy that lives over your car. 302 00:18:57,550 --> 00:18:58,590 I bought the notes. 303 00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:03,090 I think he was upset. 304 00:19:03,350 --> 00:19:06,270 All right, we'll talk to him later. First, I want to settle this thing with 305 00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:09,610 Joey. Dad, there's nothing to settle. My mind is made up. I'm not going to 306 00:19:09,610 --> 00:19:13,530 college. Oh, your mind is made up, huh? Like the time you came home and you told 307 00:19:13,530 --> 00:19:14,990 me you wanted to be an elephant trainer. 308 00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:17,730 Dad, I was eight years old. 309 00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:19,510 You make me go out and buy you a whip. 310 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:25,900 I'm going to get this off my chest. 311 00:19:26,180 --> 00:19:28,660 And when I do, I'm out of here like yesterday's trash. 312 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:32,940 I mean, one day you're going to realize just how much you hurt me, you know? 313 00:19:33,360 --> 00:19:35,440 And then you're going to have to live with it. 314 00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:36,840 You know? 315 00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:42,540 I mean, I'm hurt. 316 00:19:48,820 --> 00:19:49,820 Joanie. 317 00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:54,200 Look, I don't just want you to go to school for the book learning. Arnie. 318 00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,280 It's the atmosphere, the idealism. 319 00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:02,780 I want to see you get a chance to see what the world could be before you find 320 00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:03,820 out what it's really like. 321 00:20:04,020 --> 00:20:08,560 Yeah, that's very nice. But if I went now, I don't think I could appreciate 322 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:13,640 that. If I just took a year off from going to school, I think that I'd get 323 00:20:13,640 --> 00:20:14,640 out of it when I went. 324 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,720 Well, what are you going to do during that year? Sit around all the time and 325 00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,440 to movies with Chachi every night? No. 326 00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,240 I would get a job and I would pay my own way. 327 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:23,880 But you don't need to do that. 328 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:25,660 Mom, I want to do that. 329 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:31,880 I think a year working in the real world might be just what I need to fall in 330 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:32,900 love with going to school. 331 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:39,280 Well, I can't argue with that. 332 00:20:39,980 --> 00:20:40,980 Just one year. 333 00:20:41,700 --> 00:20:42,700 Just one. 334 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,660 All right. Oh, gosh, thanks. 335 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,740 Thanks. But if you did go to school this year, you'd go to UWM, wouldn't you? 336 00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:51,740 Yes. 337 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:59,040 Sure, hug her. She's part of the family. 338 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:04,840 Fonzie, I want to talk to you. I don't think there was anything to say, Mr. 339 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:06,560 Cunningham, come while you're at it. 340 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,260 Mr. Cunningham? Why don't you just call me Mr. 341 00:21:10,060 --> 00:21:11,060 Fonzarelli, Lieutenant. 342 00:21:11,340 --> 00:21:12,340 All right, Mr. 343 00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:13,720 Fonzarelli, Lieutenant. Have a seat. 344 00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:16,800 You sure you want me to sit down? This is a family chair. 345 00:21:17,060 --> 00:21:18,240 Oh, will you cut that out? 346 00:21:18,540 --> 00:21:24,720 Now, look, I'm sorry we were so rude to you. 347 00:21:25,530 --> 00:21:28,810 It was just bad timing. We were upset about Joanie. 348 00:21:29,090 --> 00:21:32,150 The fact that you were concerned about her is very nice. 349 00:21:34,150 --> 00:21:37,010 You've always been part of this family and you always will be. 350 00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:39,650 It's very true, Arthur. 351 00:21:40,630 --> 00:21:41,930 We love you. 352 00:21:49,930 --> 00:21:51,950 I want to taste some. 353 00:21:52,850 --> 00:21:56,520 It's very nice. be home again. You know, this emotional stuff is exhausting. 354 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:07,860 Last year. It gives me great pleasure to introduce to you a woman I love from 355 00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,820 the bottom of my heart, Miss Diane Carroll. 356 00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:11,040 Next year. 357 00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:17,000 The 2004 TV Land Award, coming in March. 358 00:22:17,560 --> 00:22:18,800 Hey, Dad, what are you doing? 359 00:22:19,060 --> 00:22:20,019 Making a little snack. 360 00:22:20,020 --> 00:22:21,200 Come on, plenty of room. 361 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:28,420 How come you fold yours over like that? 362 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:32,000 I don't know. I guess it's because that's the way my dad used to do it. And 363 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,740 always wanted to do everything just like him. 364 00:22:34,140 --> 00:22:35,140 That's silly. 365 00:22:35,500 --> 00:22:38,240 It's more than just that great peanut taste. 366 00:22:38,580 --> 00:22:43,220 Choosing Jif is a small, simple way of letting someone know you care. 367 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:47,480 Choosing moms and dads choose Jif. 368 00:22:48,100 --> 00:22:49,940 Yes, you're lovely. 369 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,060 Never, ever change. 370 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,580 Keep that breathless charm. 371 00:22:58,780 --> 00:23:04,160 Won't you please arrange it? Cause I love you. 372 00:23:05,100 --> 00:23:08,980 Just the way you look tonight. 373 00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,700 Just the way you look tonight. 374 00:23:17,700 --> 00:23:20,080 Well, time for a run, baby. Let's go. 375 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,440 Oceaneers Club. 376 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,860 We'll be at the beach. 377 00:23:23,690 --> 00:23:24,850 Are you going to be okay by yourself? 378 00:23:25,050 --> 00:23:25,829 Oh, yeah. 379 00:23:25,830 --> 00:23:27,610 I've got a whole list of things I want to do. 380 00:23:36,170 --> 00:23:39,730 With a Disney Cruise, they can do the things they want to do. 381 00:23:40,130 --> 00:23:46,510 And you can do the things you want to do. Disney Cruise Line. Come discover 382 00:23:46,510 --> 00:23:47,550 uncharted magic. 383 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:50,290 There's something great going around. 384 00:23:50,710 --> 00:23:52,150 Something so delicious. 385 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:56,540 People can't get enough of it. 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It's one of the most valuable assets you can have in 396 00:24:39,860 --> 00:24:44,220 life. Qualifying for the lowest available interest rates can save you a 397 00:24:44,220 --> 00:24:47,300 money. So log on to FreeCreditReport .com. 398 00:24:47,600 --> 00:24:51,740 Make sure your credit report is accurate before you apply for a home loan, a car 399 00:24:51,740 --> 00:24:57,280 loan, or even credit cards. Log on to FreeCreditReport .com today to see 400 00:24:57,280 --> 00:25:01,900 in your report, who put it there, who's been looking at it, so you can make sure 401 00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:04,560 everything's accurate. It's that simple and it's free. 402 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,640 So join the millions of Americans who have already logged on to 403 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,600 .com. Stay on top of your credit and change your life. 404 00:25:13,130 --> 00:25:14,270 Log on now. 405 00:25:17,930 --> 00:25:18,410 I 406 00:25:18,410 --> 00:25:26,270 didn't 407 00:25:26,270 --> 00:25:27,330 make homecoming, Queen. 408 00:25:27,570 --> 00:25:29,230 The past runner -up isn't that bad. 409 00:25:29,510 --> 00:25:30,730 Joanie, extinct. 410 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:32,750 I blew it. 411 00:25:32,890 --> 00:25:34,430 I just didn't work hard enough. 412 00:25:34,670 --> 00:25:38,310 Don't worry about it. Remember, it's not whether you win or lose. 413 00:25:38,690 --> 00:25:40,110 It's how you play the game. 414 00:25:40,570 --> 00:25:42,670 I'm going to be all right. Yeah. I gotta go. 415 00:25:42,930 --> 00:25:43,930 Where are you going now? 416 00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:46,290 Oh, I've got to go hang out with Gloria Centinella. 417 00:25:46,610 --> 00:25:47,610 What for? 418 00:25:47,810 --> 00:25:48,789 She won. 419 00:25:48,790 --> 00:25:49,589 Of course. 420 00:25:49,590 --> 00:25:53,190 Nothing personal, Jones, but hanging out with First Runner -Up gets me diddly. 421 00:26:01,770 --> 00:26:03,610 Jody, Jody, Jody. 422 00:26:04,170 --> 00:26:06,050 What's wrong, Al? You don't look so good. 423 00:26:06,330 --> 00:26:08,010 I haven't slept in two days. 424 00:26:08,370 --> 00:26:11,210 Ever since the time you asked me that question about college. 425 00:26:12,300 --> 00:26:15,240 Well, Al, I didn't mean for you to take it that serious. No, no, no, it's okay. 426 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:17,720 It's good practice for me for when I'm a family man. Oh, yeah. 427 00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:20,580 I came up with something, but... You did? You don't want to hear it. No, I 428 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:21,960 It's all right. You don't have to listen. 429 00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:23,200 Al, tell me. 430 00:26:24,020 --> 00:26:24,659 All right. 431 00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:27,880 And I've got to pay close attention because this is very tricky. I'll 432 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:28,880 it, all right? 433 00:26:29,120 --> 00:26:34,320 On one hand, we have your parents, who are very wise people, and they seem to 434 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,620 know what's best for you. 435 00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:38,180 Now, on the other hand, we have you. 436 00:26:38,620 --> 00:26:41,860 A grown woman who's old enough to know what's best for you. 437 00:26:42,380 --> 00:26:43,380 You see? 438 00:26:44,860 --> 00:26:46,360 What are you saying, Al? 439 00:26:46,840 --> 00:26:51,260 What I'm saying, Joanie, is that I need more time. 440 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,360 Ballet, tap dancing, baton twirling, acting. 441 00:27:10,820 --> 00:27:12,740 Poor Jan, she can't do any of these things. 442 00:27:13,020 --> 00:27:16,080 It's a wonder she even gets out of bed in the morning. Stay tuned for the 443 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:20,580 classic self -loathing Jan episode entitled, Try, Try Again. 34513

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